Tuesday, February 14, 2017

Airport Anxiety

Being obsessed with Australia has come with some baggage.  One piece of luggage is my anxiety dreams about flying to Australia.  I think the most common dream involves me traveling alone to Australia, and I suddenly have a lot of anxiety and regret about leaving my family behind.

Last night I had multiple anxiety dreams.  These were not about leaving my family behind. These dreams involved worries about missing the plane.

In one dream:  Even though we've just been to Australia as a family, I'm going back weeks later on my own. There's something that intrigues me. The people that will be on my flight were also on our to and from flights on the last trip. I think it's quite a coincidence that not only did we come and go at the same time, but most of us are also returning at the same time.  

Later something disastrous happens at a factory (or warehouse) nearby. It's owned by the father of one of my fellow passengers. The father is a bully to his son, but despite this, the son forgoes his trip to Australia to stay behind to help his dad. Other passengers go with him.  Then a female passenger forgoes the trip to stay behind, because she has a crush on one of the guys helping with the factory fix-up. I end up staying behind too, because I don't want to be the odd one out who stays.

I don't remember what happened immediately next.

But later...

We talk to an airline employee and tell her our story. The girl who had a crush ended up being rejected, so she felt regret for missing the flight to Australia.  I get the sense from her demeanor and questions from the airplane representative that she might rebook us on another flight without a fee, or a low fee.

Then I had at least two other dreams where I was trying to get to those flights. Things kept going wrong.

One thing a bit odd about the first dream is towards the end...it was like I was not myself.

No, that's not saying it right.

It's like Me-Dina was in the story. But I wasn't her.  I was kind of like an invisible observer. I think I watched myself choose not to get on the plane, and I was dismayed by my behavior.

Anyway, I'm trying to figure out what the dream means.

I'm not sure why I'm having anxiety dreams about being on time for a flight to Australia. It would make more sense if we were going to Australia soon.

We ARE going to Japan soon. Maybe the anxiety is about that.  Oh! Actually, there was a bit in the dream, where it changed.  So I was no longer going to Australia weeks after we returned. I was going to Japan alone weeks before we were going as a family.

I don't consciously feel nervous about being late for our Japan flight, but maybe subconsciously? I do tend to get anxious about being late for things, so it's not far-fetched.

I'm also wondering if there's meaning—or a message—about the reasons people missed the flight.

There were three different themes: A) Making a sacrifice for someone who hasn't treated you well B) Making a sacrifice because you have a crush on someone C) Making a sacrifice because you feel the need to follow the others.

Well, I wish I had some deep thoughts about all that.

I don't...at least not right now.