Do You Still Love Australia?

When we were in line at the Mexican restaurant at the food court, my friend asked me whether I still loved Australia.

An answer popped out of my mouth without me thinking much about it.  I think I said, Yes, but differently.

She didn't ask me to elaborate...which was fortunate.   I wouldn't have been able to give an answer that made sense. The truth is, I was confused about the whole thing.

But I thought about it throughout the whole trip.  I did still love Australia. I still was obsessed. But something was definitely missing. Something had changed.

Later I finally figured it out.

During the past trips, I was so attracted to Australians—the people.  It's like every Aussie was a celebrity, and each time they gave me attention or talked to me, I felt so fantastic.   Just being in a room with Australians was a thrill. I was like an Australian groupie.  

That's gone.  

On this trip, I'd be among a crowd of Australians and couldn't get myself to care. I'd try. I really would.  

Now I feel about Australians as I do other humans. Sometimes I feel like. Sometimes I feel love.   Sometimes I feel really annoyed.

Then there are moments where I'd like to glue one of their photos to a dart board and totally go at it.   

I'm not sure if this change is good or bad.

Well, it probably is good. I'm more normal now. It's probably best not to have a prejudice like that.

Still. I kind of miss the feeling. I'm a bit sad that it's gone.

Sometimes being irrational and delusional can make us feel more comfortable.   

But well...it's okay.

I have the birds now.

I was really into the birds on this trip.  

I think now I'm more of an Aussie-bird groupie than an Aussie-human groupie.

I also like the Tasmanian Devil a lot.  I don't know why. But I was a bit obsessed with seeing them.