TV Shows I've Watched Lately

I've decided to do a post on all the TV shows I've watched this month.

I'm going to list them from my least favorite to my favorite. The ranking might get difficult, for me, because I'm really loving some of these shows.

1. The Elegant Gentleman's Guide to Knife Fighting. This is an Australian variety show featuring Patrick Brammall and other people.

I think I actually hated the first episode. I think I gave it the lowest rating I've ever given anything on IMDb. Something offended me. Though now I can't remember what it was.

As I got further into the show, I stopped hating it. I even laughed a few times.

2. The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt From what I've heard, this show is very well-liked. But so far, it's not liked too much by me.

I've only watched two episodes, though. It might grow on me.

I'm not sure why I don't like it.

Maybe it's too silly?

Maybe Kimmy (Ellie Kemper) is too cutesy?

My problem might be with the characterization. Kimmy spent time as a prisoner of a cult. She was kept from the outside world. Yet I don't think there's enough naiveness in her personality to reflect this. She seems too wise, witty, and confident.

But...who knows.

By episode five, I might be totally in love with the show.

3. Modern Family- This is the show that Tim and I watch together when we don't feel like we have the time or energy to watch one of our longer shows—usually because we've started dinner late. I like to start watching something before eight, so afterwards I have time to give attention to the cats, AND get myself to bed on time.

I enjoy Modern Family. We used to be big fans of the show; then dropped out of the lovefest around season four or five. Then, a year or so ago, we got back into it.

I like that they've managed to keep the kids on the show and that the kids are still fun to watch. Though I do find it strange, that out of four young adults in a middle class family, not one of them has gone away for college. It might have been more realistic to send one far away for college; then create a spin off...like they did with The Cosby Show.

One thing that bothers me about Modern Family is they normalize things like gaslighting and other forms of dishonesty and manipulation. They make these things seem harmless, but in reality, it's often not.

BUT you know...maybe the thing that makes it okay is, almost all the characters on the show are dishonest. They all lie to each other.  I think many of the episodes are based on the premise that one character is struggling to hide a secret not realizing that the character they're lying to has their own secret they're struggling to hide.

For example, in the episode we watched this week, Claire (Julie Bowen) and Phil (Ty Burrell) are in competitive mode and want to race each other. They both lie about being in shape, and then they both try to hide their severe post-racing pain.

So, yeah. I think if you have two dishonest people, maybe things balance out, and it's more okay. But it would be different if Claire was very honest. What if she admitted to Phil that she felt out of shape because she hadn't worked out for awhile. Then in return, Phil told her he's totally in shape because he's been playing basketball every week...even though he's actually been using that time to play with robots. They race. Claire admits to being in pain. Phil ACTS like he's in pain. He groans and grimaces, but when Claire questions him, he snaps, I'm fine! I feel great!  For Pete's Sake. Turn it down a notch! You sound like a broken record.

4. Miranda I watched the second season of this. It took me an episode or two to get back into it. I find the laugh track, and breaking-of-the-fourth wall, a bit jarring at first.

But after the short adjustment period, I really enjoyed it. It's a fun, easygoing, happy show.

My favorite episode this season was "Just Act Normal". If I remember correctly, the whole episode occurred on one set—a psychiatrist's office.  Miranda (Miranda Hart) and her mother (Patricia Hodge) try to prove to a psychiatrist (Mark Heap) that their mental health is superb. And....they pretty much fail miserably.

5. The Let Down-This is a brilliant new Australian show about the earliest stages of parenthood. It's mostly comedy, but there's some drama as well.

Audrey (Allison Bell) is the center of the story. She and her husband struggle to adjust to having a new baby. Then the show also tells the story of the various mothers (and a father) in Audrey's parenting group.

I was going to say we need more shows like this, so people can be more understanding of what new parents have to endure.  But even if the most honest shows are made and watched, will it actually help people understand more. Or is it something you can never understand unless
you endure it personally?

Well, you know....I think it MIGHT help. Because there are so many other TV shows that give a unrealistic view of parenthood. Often new babies are more like accessories. The mothers and fathers go along with their usual lives with just a few minor glitches here and there. Or they might struggle a bit for an episode or two; then everything is back to normal.

When I was pregnant, I believed my life would be keeping Jack in the bassinet; then every hour or so taking him out to breastfeed, change diaper, cuddle, etc.  And I read parenting books! I was a preschool teacher! But still. Despite all that, I was surprised by the intensity of it all.

6. Supernatural. I watched the first season, and loved it.

It reminds me a bit of Charmed—a family working together to fight demons and other naughty things.

It was nice seeing Jeffery Dean Morgan without Lucille.

My one complaint is with the episode that takes place in DFW Texas ("Hell House").  I live there, and the place they were at DID not look like the city I know.  They made us look like we're all a bunch of cowboys. What do all young people do on the weekend? They go to a rodeo dance club, of course!

I'm imagine there are small towns in Texas that are that way, and I'm sure there are subgroups of the population of DFW that might be that way. But no. We're not all living the cowboy life here.

I think most people here do what people do all over the world—go to Starbucks, see Marvel movies at the movie theater, eat at Food Truck parks, complain about the prices at Whole Foods, go to trendy restaurants, march against guns, work out at fitness clubs, drink at (NON-western) bars, etc.

Once a year we have a few weeks of rodeo stuff.

Anyway, the episode made me wonder how many times a TV show has tricked me into thinking  Vancouver is accurately portraying an American city or town.

I watch Bates Motel and imagine there really are small towns in Oregon that look like that. But maybe people in Oregon watch it and think, that is SO not us!

7. Crazy Ex-Girlfriend.   I LOVE LOVE LOVE this show. It's one of those that makes me regret that I watch only one season at a time, and that I rely on random.org and a too-long list to pick my next TV shows.

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend is a comedy-musical about love and mental illness.

I actually didn't know it was a musical, so I was a bit confused and surprised when the first song started happening.

But...I love all the songs. They're funny and catchy. I find myself singing bits and pieces here and there.

The show is about a woman named Rebecca Bunch (Rachel Bloom) who runs into her ex-boyfriend Josh (Vincent Rodriguez) in NYC, and decides happiness lies in following him to his hometown of West Covina, California.  She moves there and tries to deny to herself, and others, that she moved there because of him.

I really hate the popular agenda of trying to end mental health stigma by saying it's a disease. Really? Since when is having a disease a positive thing? Are people with physical illnesses not stigmatized? Are people with MS, AIDS, cancer, diabetes, Lupus, Parkinson's, etc. not treated with pity, suspicion, nervousness, blame, etc? 

I think things like Crazy Ex-Girlfriend do a MUCH better job of reducing stigma. Because the show has two messages. A) Someone can have mental issues and still be a nice, adorable, fun person. B) Everyone is a bit mental.

Rebecca is really not the only crazy one on the show. Everyone is a bit nuts, and some of the other characters are a lot nuts. They all have their baggage. They all have their issues. And it's the same for all of us in real life.

It's kind of the same with all my diaries I recently read. I was a bit mentally messed-up, but so was every single other person that I mentioned in my diaries. We're all fucked in the head; then we interact and fuck each other up even more in the head. It's the circle of life!

The Path- This is the main show that Tim and I have been watching together. It's about a cult that has some similarities to Scientology.

I think it's amazing. Though it took me awhile to get into it. I had a hard time adjusting to Hugh Dancy being creepy-disturbed rather than sexy-disturbed. Cal Roberts is no Will Graham.  BUT...my heart has slowly warmed to him.

I'm going to maybe sound contradictory here. But while I don't like The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt because she doesn't act like someone who escaped a cult. I love The Path because the members of the Meyerism movement don't act the way I imagine cult members would act.

There IS a difference, though. I think Kimmy is an actual victim of kidnapping. She and a few other women were kept prisoner underground.

The characters on The Path are part of the cult by choice. They're not prisoners. They have their own little community, but they're not completely cut off from the rest of the world.

Despite being part of something that's a bit like Scientology, the Meyerists are funny, down to earth, casual, etc.  But there's some dark side stuff—murder, secrets, blackmail, molestation, brainwashing, ostracizing, hypocrisy, etc.

The show isn't about bad people who trick other people into believing a bunch of lies. It's about people who might actually have the right destination, but they're walking on the wrong paths to get to that destination.

Coronation Street-This show might always be number one for me.  Well...I hope it is.

Now I'm scared that I'm jinxing myself.

But...for now, at least. I'm amazed.

I have to remind myself that I'm watching actors play pretend people. It all feels so real to me.

If you are a person who has been reluctantly addicted to American soap operas for a long time, I strongly suggest you try Coronation Street...or maybe another British soap opera.  UNLESS you like stories about towns where every woman looks like a fashion model and people repeatedly return from the dead.

I love Coronation Street because the characters look and act like the people I see and know in real life.

I love Coronation Street because it has a great mix of drama and comedy.

I also love the show, because whoever is writing the show has a great understanding of the dark tedtrad personality traits (narcissism, psychopathy, machiavellian, and sadism). I'm very interested in those traits. And I find some of the storylines to be cathartic.

Coronation Street has been on for 58 years. I hope it goes on and on for many decades more. I hope one day I can say to people, I've been watching Coronation Street for thirty years.....

Angry then Saw an Article that Made Me Even More Angry

My iPhone gifted me with a Vox article this afternoon.  A woman has a $12,000 ER bill. Her insurance won't pay.  Why? The diagnosis was deemed not an emergency. She went to the ER worried that she had appendicitis. It turns out she had Ovarian cysts.

I'm furious.

It adds fire to the fury I was feeling this morning, because for some reason (I can't remember why), I started thinking about women and heart attacks.  Maybe there was an article in my Google News. But now I can't find anything, so I'm not sure.

Anyway, women are more likely to die of heart attacks than men. 

Wait!  I found the article.  It was in the Sydney Morning Herald.  The main subject of the article is that women are more likely to have heart attacks due to stress and depression than men.  But yeah. Isn't it usually the men we worry about when something stressful happens?  Do we not worry more about our grandfathers's hearts than our grandmother's hearts when things are intense? Our father's hearts more than our mothers? Do husbands worry about their wives' hearts as much as wives worry about their husbands heart?  

Reading the article this morning made me nervous, because in the past year or so I've had episodes of very painful chest pain.  It was pain that radiated to my jaw, neck, and back.  The first few times I kept it a secret. Why? Because I have issues. I'm afraid to tell people I'm having medical problems, because I've been so often dismissed.

One time the pain lasted for over an hour and antacids weren't helping.  I finally texted my husband. We considered going to the doctor. Then it was decided that we'd text a doctor that we know personally. This doctor said something along the lines of, if I didn't have shortness of breath, I probably didn't need to go to the ER.  I'm wondering if he'd say the same thing if I was a man. 

Even though this person is supposed to have a strong relationship with us, he never checked back to see how I was doing. I'm still angry about that, especially since we've done favors for his family. As a a doctor, the decent thing to do would be to check back to see if I'm okay. As a friend, the decent thing would be to check back to see if I'm okay. He's both a doctor and a friend, and yet neither of those things compelled him to act decently.  

I imagine someone reading this is thinking, Well, get over it. You obviously are alive, so you're heart must be fine.

Well, hopefully if someone is thinking this, they are right. BUT it's not necessary so.  I've learned that  people can survive so-called silent heart attacks without medical care, but damage is done to their heart.  Eventually, the damage might end up killing them.

When I had my annual physical a few months later, I told my doctor about my chest pain. She didn't look at me with concern.  She looked...amused.  Her facial expression seemed to say, Well, aren't you a darling little hypochondriac.  I think I asked her if heartburn can cause radiating pain throughout the body. She said yes. And she's right. From what I read, it can.  But that doesn't mean it couldn't also be a heart issue.

Would she have dropped the subject so fast if I was a man, or would she have ordered tests? Might she have referred me to a cardiologist? 

For those interested in learning more about how women are treated differently than men when it comes to heart disease, here's an article about it.  

To me, it's depressing and infuriating.  It's not just discrimination. It's deadly discrimination.  

So...today I was thinking about heart problems. I worried. I got angry. I thought about how I'll probably end up dying (at whatever age) because I don't have the guts to speak up for myself and demand medical care.

Because of a change in insurance, we're getting a new primary care physician.  We have to get referrals for all specialists. I considered asking the doctor about going to a cardiologist and wondered if I'd get another dismissive response.  Will he look at me amused? If I tell my family, will they make me feel like I'm overreacting, because it's my husband's heart they'd worry about and not mine?  Will they show the same lack of concern that many of them showed for my eating disorder, gynecological problems, and neurological symptoms? 

If the doctor and my family all seemed to think my heart concerns were ridiculous, would I have the guts to fight for myself?  I don't know.  I kind of doubt it. And then I imagine getting some tests, and the tests come out negative.  Can I handle the shame of knowing/imagining that I'm being labeled a hypochondriac.  

If I was a strong person, of course I could handle it.  But I AM not strong...especially when it comes to self-medical advocacy.  

Anyway, I'm thinking all this today and then see the article about the fucked up insurance issue.  So what if once again, I end up having one of the many female symptoms of a heart attack.  Even if I could manage to be brave enough to speak up; even if I could manage to deal with dismissive attitudes from the people in my life; even if I could manage dealing with dismissive attitudes from doctors....

Well, I also have to face the fear of paying thousands of dollars if I guess wrong.  If it ends up that my heart attack was just indigestion, my family might be losing thousands of dollars.  Because apparently some insurance companies want us to self-diagnose ourselves before going to the ER.  

How many times have I seen PSA's saying that if you have certain symptoms, don't delay. Go to the ER immediately.  It's fucking bullshit.  Well....those people who write the PSA's probably do actually care. They probably do want us to get help.  But as for the sexist doctors and insurance companies?  I don't think they really give a fuck.  Or maybe the doctors care, but they're just horribly ignorant. Their ignorance is dangerous. Their sexism is dangerous.  

I feel my life is completely dependent on having good-health luck, because if my luck runs out, I have strong doubts that any doctor is going to save me.   

I am so sick of it all.  

To those who say things like, Stop Using Dr. Google....well, fuck them. Dr. Google is pretty much all we can depend on these days.  It's just too bad he can't prescribe medicine or perform surgery if we should need it.  

Edited to add: Mistake in my post.  I now remember that I didn't ask the doctor if heartburn pain could radiate through other parts of the body. I asked if you can have heartburn without eating, because when the episodes happened to me, they were in the morning before I ate anything.  

Anyway, yeah you can have heartburn in the morning. But still. From what I've heard, some women have heart attacks that feel like heartburn or indigestion, so I shouldn't be made to feel like a hypochondriac for worrying about my heart.  And if we lived in a more supportive and more affordable world, I could have gotten things checked out...in case I am one of those women whose indigestion was something much more sinister.  

Read my novel: The Dead are Online 

Bee Gees, Morgana Davies, the Hunter, and Inner Dialogues

1. Woke up, from my dreams, with the song "Grease is the Word" going through my brain.

I have no idea why. As far as I know, it didn't connect to anything in my dreams.  

I was wishing it connected to Australia so I could have an excuse to write about it on my blog. I thought maybe the song was sung by the Bee Gees but then decided it probably wasn't.

Instead of writing about it on my blog, I watched the Grease Live performance of the song. I've not had any interest in watching that program, but I thought the performance of the song was well done. Now I'm kind of wanting to see more.

I decided I should probably look at the lyrics of the song. See if the words have any spiritual guidance message for me.

I Googled for the lyrics online. That's when I saw it IS a Bee Gees song.  

They didn't sing it in the Grease movie, though.  That job went to Frankie Valli. I'm not sure who was singing it in the recent live version. Maybe Pink?  

2. Googled and saw that it was Jessie J.

I have no idea who that is.  

3. Googled and learned Jessie J. is an English singer.

Well, and that brings me back to the Bee Gees.  I consulted Lord Wiki and he says "Grease is the Word" was written by Barry Gib.  I clicked on his name, and Lord Wiki referred to him as being English rather than Australian.

The Gib brothers were raised in the UK; then moved to Redcliffe Queensland. It's in Queensland where they formed the Bee Gees. So, they might not be Australian, but Australia played a big part in their career.  

One thing I was excited to see is that a lot of their English life took place in Manchester. That's one of my favorite places now, because it's the setting for Coronation Street. 

4. Read this biography website and saw that the Gibb brothers were actually quite young when they moved to Queensland. I was picturing them as older teens or young adults. But no. The oldest (Barry) was around twelve, and the twins (Maurice and Robin) were around nine.

Since they came to Australia when they were that young, I would consider them pretty much Australian.

5. Started watching a concert video with the Bee Gees singing "Grease is the Word".

Olivia Newton-John is in the audience.  

6. Wondered about Suzannah Bayes-Morton. I've been seeing a lot of Americans come to my blog post about her.

7. Checked Bayes-Morton's filmography to refresh my memory about her career.

She was on a Star Wars parody called Death Star PR. Star Wars is quite popular lately. I'm guessing that's why Americans are coming to my blog.

It could also be that The Straits has suddenly become popular on Hulu. That's definitely a possibility, but the Star Wars thing seems much more likely.  

8. Started watching an episode of Home and Away.  

9. Surprised to learn that Leah (Ada Nicodemou) and Zac (Charlie Clausen) hadn't been dating too long before the bus accident.

I assumed they had been in a very serious longterm relationship; with all that stuff about Zac feeling obligated to care for Leah's son (Matthew Little).

I thought there was tension there, because, despite Zac being VJ's almost stepfather, they didn't get along. But now I'm seeing that might not have been the case. Maybe they just didn't know each other very well.

10. Started watching more of The Hunter.

11. Wondered if there really are any Tasmanian Tigers left in Tasmania.

I hope there are.

That would be nice.

12. Thought that Morgana Davies is adorable in this movie. I especially love her cute little voice.

It's weird, because I didn't like her much in The Tree.

I didn't really dislike her.

Or maybe I did, which makes me feel guilty, because her character was grieving for her father.

Then again, her character in The Hunter is also missing her father.

13. Decided the child in The Tree was sympathetic but challenging.

We can have sympathy for someone while still feeling annoyed by their behavior.

14. Had an idea that I didn't know I disliked the child in The Tree until I saw the same actress in The Hunter, and sort of dreaded having to watch a movie with the same kid.  I had a feeling of, oh no. Not her.  

But now I'm liking her.

15. Thought about how the good guy in this movie is American, while the various villains are all Aussie men.

16. Wondered how many Australian films have an American as the protagonist.

The other movie that comes to my mind is Rogue. I'm pretty sure the main guy in that was American.

18. Saw that I might be wrong.

It looks like the main actor in Rogue is a French guy—Michael Vartan.

19. Looked closer.

Vartan is French-American.

I wasn't wrong after all.

20. Thought that I'd like to watch Rogue again someday.

There are several Aussie actors that are now familiar to me. When I saw the movie way back when, I don't think I knew of any of the actors.

21. Could not find Rogue on Netflix or Hulu.

That's sad.

Maybe one day....

22. Wondered if I misjudged when I labeled the American hunter as being good.

He just killed a man.

Well, I think he's good...for the most part. I think he's one of those people with interesting morals.

23. Thought I should mention that the killing was sort of self-defense.

Or maybe it was very self-defense.

I can't say I fully understood the situation.

24. Felt confused about something the American hunter did.

I think I'm going to see if I still have the novel The Hunter. Maybe the answers are there.

25. Found the book on my Australian bookshelf.

It took awhile.

I have a lot of Australian books. The sad thing is, there are some I don't remember reading or buying.

26. Saw that the book is written in third person present tense.

This makes me kind of excited and relieved.

The thing is, I wrote my novel The Dead Are Online that way. I didn't think it was a big deal. Present tense has become quite common and accepted. What I didn't realize is that most present tense novels out there are first person, not third.

Yes, I want a book that's original, but I don't want something SO original...so strange, that it repels people.

27. Skimmed through and read some scenes from The Hunter.

I might want to reread it someday. It seems better than the film. Though I think seeing the movie is good, because it helps to get the scenery in my head.

The book, though, gives much more insight into what the hunter is thinking.

There are some novels that have more thinking than talking. Sometimes those can be hard to translate to screen.

28. Finished watching The Hunter.

I liked it. It was interesting. The scenery was beautiful. The actors were lovely. Those are the positives.

The two main negatives: A) the film was slow and B) I was lost about what the characters were thinking and planning.

29. Thought about how sometimes we might like a character better when we CAN'T hear their inner monologue.

This happened to me with The Hunger Games. Though I liked the books, I found Katniss to be very annoying. I liked her better in the movies where I couldn't know hear/she what she was thinking.

That's the only example of that I can think of.

Do you have any?

30. Found Morgana Davies' show reel. I'm going to watch that. I'm eager to see how she looks now.

31. Saw that Davies continues to have the cute voice in her tween (or teen?) years.

32. Saw that Caroline Brazier is in one the clips.

It's from a short 2014 film called "Kharisma".  It looks good. I'm going to see if it's online...after I finish with the show reel.

33. Saw that "Breath", another one of Davies' short films, stars Michael Dorman.

I shall have to look out for that one too.

I don't think I've seen it on the show reel, but I found it when looking through her filmography.

34. Could not find "Kharisma" online.

I don't think it's available yet.

35. Found "Breath".

I shall watch that.

36. Got the idea that "Breath" has the same storyline as that movie My Life—the one starring Nicole Kidman and Michael Keaton.

I think it's about a dying guy making a video for his child.

37. Thought the musical score in the film reminds me of something else...something that I like. But I can't think of what it is.

38. Saw that it might not be the man who is dying, after all.

The film has an interesting twist.

It's keeping my brain on my toes.

39. Wondered if the child in the film has Cystic Fibrosis.

40. Saw that the composer for "Breath" (Matteo Zingales) is the same person who composed the music for The Hunter.  But that's not the music I was thinking about.

I think MAYBE I'm thinking of the music from that French movie Blue.

No....

I think it's something else, something I've seen more recently.

41. Thought that some of the scenes in "Breath" are quit gory.

42. Looked on YouTube, and saw that the French movie I was thinking about was probably Red, and not Blue. They're both part of the same trilogy, though.

Still. I don't think either of them is what the music in "Breath" reminds me of.

43. Finished watching the film.

It was a surreal, gruesome medical film about how parents love their children so much.

It's one of those films that make me want to go and hug my own child.

44. Went to Random.org to pick my next Australian show.  It's going to be Agony Uncles.

45. Realized I might make it sound like Random.org actually has listings of Australian shows.

No, that's not the case.

I pick a number using Random.org, and then I have a list of TV shows and films that are numbered.

Random.org picked number 36 for me, and on my list, that was Agony Uncles.

46. Looked at Agony Uncles on IMDb and was dismayed that none of the stars were familar to me.

But then I saw Waleed Aly.

At least there will be one familiar face.

Being a Drama Queen, Pretty People, Sad Dads, and Confusing PSA Ads

1. Started watching an episode of Home and Away.

2. Learned that Kyle's (Nick Westaway) public proposal wasn't something he planned. He got swept up in the spur of  the moment.

I can't fault him much on that.

3. Felt that Phoebe (Giovinazzo) was a bit annoying in this episode—kind of overdramatic about Kyle proposing to her.

That being said, I can picture myself acting that way.  I mean I think I HAVE acted that way before...but not with a public proposal.

Someone does something. They either are trying to be nice or at least they're not trying to be mean. My answer is no, or I don't want or like what they've given me. Instead of just giving them a polite and easy rejection, I get mad at them. I then get upset at myself for being hurtful, and that makes things even worse.

4. Decided to come up with a fictional example.

Let's say, one day, someone asks me to go to lunch. I could just say, No, thanks I'm busy today. How about another day?  But I get annoyed they even ask, because they should know I'm busy on Wednesdays. So, my answer is tense, and I whine a lot. I'm also kind of bitchy. Then I feel bad for being bitchy, and I get stressed out. My self-esteem plummets.

5. Realized I don't know if that's what happened to Phoebe. All I do know is she didn't like that Kyle proposed to her. But I don't know if her anger and rejection towards him made her feel guilty. Maybe she's just upset with Kyle and not also upset with herself.

6. Wanted to clarify that I probably wouldn't go major drama queen if an innocent/ignorant person asked me out when I was busy.

What I was picturing was a case where I've vented to someone about how I'm so stressed about this upcoming Wednesday.  I've talked on and on about it.  Then Wednesday comes along and they say, Hey! A new Chinese restaurant opened up. Do you want to go for lunch today?  

That would annoy the hell out of me. Though if they apologized for forgetting, I might not go into full drama queen mode.

If they got defensive and argued with me, that would be another story.

But even if they're nice about it, I'd still probably get stressed and upset. I'd feel guilty for not having good time management skills, and I'd feel guilty for saying no to the lunch.

So, now I'm thinking...maybe Phoebe was extra upset, because she sort of feels guilty about saying no to marriage.  She speaks out strongly against it, but maybe there's a part of her that feels conflicted.

7. Had a feeling I'm reading too much into the episode. Or really, I'm putting too much of myself into Phoebe.

She might be very different than me. She might not feel conflicted or guilty at all. She might not have any anger directed at herself. It might be all directed at Kyle.

8. Started watching Adore.

The scenery is pretty in the movie.

9. Thought the cemetery overlooking the ocean was very beautiful.

10. Saw that Gary Sweet, from House Husbands, is in the movie.

Actually, I can see from IMDb, that there's a lot of names in the cast I recognize—Naomi Watts, Robin Wright, Xavier Samuel, Jessica Tovey, Sophie Lowe, and Ben Mendelsohn.

The thing with Sweet is, I hadn't noticed his name in the credits, so seeing him on the screen was a fun surprise.

11. Thought that, in this movie, Naomi Watts looks a little bit like Susie Porter.

12. Thought the plot of the movie was kind of funny.

There are two very attractive female best friends. They both have sons who grow up to look like underwear models. Then, from what I read about the film, they end up having an affairs with each other's teenage sons.

I don't know.

I think the film would be less silly if the sons didn't look the way they did—if they were more average.

But why?

13. Thought about how I don't personally know any young men who look like the men in the film. So, I guess it's hard for me to relate to it.

14. Saw that the guys look more normal when they have their shirts on.

15. Realized what I'm saying is bullshit. Home and Away is full of people that don't look like the people I know in real life, and I can still relate to people on that show.

TV is FULL of people who are more attractive than myself and the people I know in real life.

16. Realized that Robin Wright is doing an Australian accent in this movie.

Is she British or American?  I'm pretty sure she's not Australian.

17. Consulted Lord Wiki.

Robin Wright is American. She was actually born in Dallas, which is very near to where I live.

18. Thought it was fun seeing things reversed—an American doing an Australian accent in an Australian movie rather than the typical thing of the Australian actor doing an American accent in an American movie.

The only other American actor I've seen do an Australian accent for an Aussie movie is Liev Schrieber in Mental. Though I'm guessing there's been others.

19. Remembered Meryl Streep.

But was that an Australian or American movie?

20. Consulted Lord Wiki.

A Cry in the Dark/Evil Angels was an Australian movie.

21. Checked to see where Adore is filmed.

It's Sydney, Seal Rocks, and Shelly Beach.

I think Shelly Beach and Seal Rocks are south of Sydney, but I'm not positive.

22. Checked Google Maps, and saw I'm wrong.

Shelly Beach is part of the Central Coast; then Seal Rocks is about two hours north of Shelly Beach.

23. Wondered if the teenage boys in this movie are of legal age.

The movie still could be a shocking story of forbidden love if they are. Roz (Robin Wright) is a married woman who's slept with her best friend's son (Xavier Samuel). She's known him since he was a baby.  This guy also appears to be the best friend of her OWN son.

Even if the affair is legal, it's a very sticky situation.

24. Finished watching the movie for today.

I'll watch more tomorrow.

So far, I don't mind it.

At the very least, the scenery is beautiful.

The only negative, for me, is some of the dialogue. Well, and the acting seems forced at times.

Since I know Naomi Watts and Robin Wright are good actors, I'll probably blame the awkward dialogue on the writer and director.

25. Saw that the writer and director of Adore is a woman named Anne Fontaine. She's probably not Australian. She's from Luxembourg.

Well, she was born there, and I don't get any indication that she's moved to Australia.

26. Learned from Lord Wiki that Fontaine lives and works in France.

27. Went to the Tropfest website.

Tonight I'm going to watch a 2010 finalist film called "Every Second Weekend".

I'm guessing, from the title, that it's about custody issues.

28. Started watching the film.

29. Thought that the film might be a documentary.

It probably is. It looks like one. But I can't tell for sure.

30. Finished watching the film.

It was nonfiction as far as I could tell.

The film consists of men, at a support group, talking about their sorrows.

31. Went to the link mentioned at the end of the film. It's for an organization called Dads in Distress.

Dads in Distress is an organization aimed at men...I guess specifically fathers.  They deal with suicide prevention, and other intense issues.

32. Liked what Dads in Distress talk about on their philosophy page.  There's an attitude of take responsibility, don't blame others, don't villainize the child's mother, try to maintain a relationship with the child, be hopeful, and look to the future.

They say, Our meetings are not pity parties. Yes, we visit our pain but we don’t live there. We move through our grief and get focused on the future.

In the film, though, it seemed very much like a pity party. There's a lot of sorrow, resentment, and anger. Then finally at the end, a man (maybe the organizer) says stuff that's more in line with the philosophy on the website.  It's like the group forgot that they're not supposed to be having a pity party, so the guy, at the end, quickly reminded them.

33. Did some director Googling.

One of the film's directors is Ton Nicholls. He writes for ABC.

The other director is Scott Holgate.  He's a cinematographer.

34. Wanted to interrupt this subject to say that lately I've had Sally Seltmann's "Heart that's Pounding" in my head a lot.

It started on Sunday.  My heart was beating fast from exercising. I thought of pounding heart, and that led to me having the song in my mind. I then listened to it, which I haven't done in awhile.  It was funny, because the meaning of the song fit super well with the TV show we had just finished watching—Master of None.  In the episode, we watched, this couple realized that they might not love each other enough to keep together.

These lines below fit especially well with the episode.

What's the use of loving
 If you're not loving like 
You think you're gonna die 
If you don't see a loved one 

35. Wished I could contact the producers of Master of None—tell them to re-edit the episode and put in the song.

Although maybe it would fit too well—like it would be way too obvious.

36. Needed to mention another song that I think would fit so well in a TV show. And this wouldn't be overly obvious.

After we finished watching Fear the Walking Dead, I heard a song from Youth Group called "The Destruction of Laurel Canyon"  Laurel Canyon is in Los Angeles, and Fear the Walking Dead is about the destruction of L.A.

It would fit really well.

37. Decided to get back to the directors of "Every Second Weekend".

38. Saw that Tony Nicholls last article on the ABC website is from December 2014.

Is he not writing for the ABC anymore?

If not, I wonder what he's up to.

39. Found something more recent about Nicholls.

He's the founder of an organization called Good Talent Media Training.

40. Looked at the media training workshop. It doesn't seem to be only for people who want to have jobs in the media. It seems also (or mostly?) to be for anyone who has to deal with the media.

The workshop helps people with interviewing skills. For example, one of the things they teach is how to steer interviews back to your media message.  That's like if you want to talk about your new fashion line, and the interviewer keeps asking about the lawsuit filed against you five years ago.

41. Went back to Scott Holgates' website.

I'm going to watch his cinematography reel.

42. Finished watching.

The scenes were intriguing.

43. Watched a public service announcement that Holgate worked on.

It has something to do with social media.

I don't get it.

It might be about keeping your password secret?

44. Watched another one of the public service announcements. It stars the same guy as the last one.

This one was for missing people and was advising teenagers to let their parents know where they are.

I didn't like it too much. In a way, it was too silly for a scary/serious subject matter.

Or really, it's probably more a matter that the humor didn't work on me. If someone takes a serious topic and manages to make it funny, that's cool. If someone takes a serious topic, tries to make a joke, and the joke doesn't work for me; then I see it in a negative way.

45. Liked that Holgate has movie reviews on his site.

They're very short.

I like short reviews.

Here's what he said for The Shining. I finally got around to watching it. Awesome setting and setup for a horror film. Some remarkable and enduring scenes for sure. I’ll never look at a kids tricycle the same. I enjoyed the dialogue scenes so much I wish there were more. At times I found the score distracting, not as scary as The Exorcist but still made the hairs on my neck stand up.

That review is actually much longer than most of his others.

Here's an example of one of his short reviews. It's for The Hundred Year Journey.
Overly sentimental and 20 minutes too long. The music cues over the shots of food stood out as being ridiculous at times. Enjoy the first half and the performances.

46. Wondered what Holgate meant with that last sentence. Did he mean to say he enjoyed the first half; or is he advising his readers to go and enjoy the first half?

47. Saw that Holgate also reviews TV shows.

For The Walking Dead he says,  I was ready to pull the pin on this show after the 4th season. It is very inconsistent and at times painfully slow. The season final was pretty exciting though, I will watch the first ep of season 5 and reevaluate.

Yeah. I have mixed feelings about the show. I like it, but it's getting a bit old.

I get it. There are zombies and mean not-zombies. Anything else?

Usually not.

Well, there was that huge tub of chocolate pudding. That was kind of exciting.




Read my online novel: The Dead are Online

Kidnapping, Apologies, Stalkers, and Assholes

1. Saw that the James Packer Mariah Carey is engaged to is the Australian James Packer.

I saw the news yesterday but was too busy, tired, or lazy to read it. I considered that it could be part an Australian Packer, but I figured it wasn't.

Well, it turns out it is.

2. Guessed that James Packer is the son of Kerry Packer.

3. Saw, from Lord Wiki, that I'm right.

4. Read an article that says Kevin Rudd is being considered for the top job at the UN.

That's pretty exciting.

5. Started to watch an episode of Wicked Science.

6. Talked with Tim about how Australia and the US are evil with all their kidnappings and racist crimes.

Of course, these counties aren't the only ones who have committed wrongs.

We talked about how the Australia and UK have made formal apologies for some of their misdeeds.

Has the US?  For slavery? What they did to the Native Americans?  I mean tons of individuals have shown remorse. But how about the  government itself?

7. Found an article.

It says Clinton apologized for the slave trade. That's good. Maybe. It said he apologized in Africa. To Africans?  That's fine. But the government needs to apologize to the descendants of slaves here.

8. Found an editorial that agrees with me.

An apology needs to be directed at black Americans.

9. Concluded that, like the US; Australia, Japan, Germany, the UK, etc. have committed heinous crimes against humanity. But at least their governments have had the strength and decency to apologize.

10. Liked that, on Wicked Science, Elizabeth (Bridget Neval) is showing evidence that she might stop being so wicked and instead become a team player.

Is there a chance she may become one of my favorite type of characters—evil ones turned good?

Maybe.

I have a feeling, though, that at this point it's false hope. I'm guessing we're being shown a glimpse of her ability to be decent, but she'll go back to being wicked for awhile.

I'm only on the sixth episode (out of 26 for the season). I'm thinking that's too early to have such major character growth—especially since Elizabeth is the main villain.  I think bad guys are more likely to quickly turn good if they're not the central and/or only villain.

11. Started watching an episode of Home and Away.

12. Thought of how I'd want to respond to Stalker-Ryan's statement to Phoebe (Isabella Giovinazzo).

He says, What sort of fan would I be if I just let you walk away?

What I'd want to say is, Uh...maybe a non-Annie Wilkes kind of fan? A mentally stable one?

13. Thought about things while watching the confrontation scene between stalker and victim.

I'm wondering if it would help, in these situations, to call people out on what they are.

The fan is a stalker and he's planning to kidnap Phoebe.  She tries gentle tactics to save herself, first, and then begins screaming.  She never, though, accuses him of being a stalker or kidnapper.

I'm just wondering if such labeling might help in cases where someone is committing a crime because of delusions.

Stalker-Ryan sees himself as a helpful fan who's going to rescue Phoebe.  I think he's in denial about being a scary, creepy criminal.  Maybe it would help if she pointed it out to him?

14. Wondered if there'd be a worry that calling someone a stalker might send them over the edge. Maybe it would make stalkers more angry and dangerous.

15. Continued to think the Oscar (Jake Speer) and Maddie (Kassandra Clementi) storyline is ridiculous.

Oscar is avoiding Maddie, because he has feelings for her and doesn't trust her feelings for him. That might be kind of reasonable IF Maddie wasn't in the hospital enduring chemo.

As I've said before, I don't think someone should be obligated to stick by a sick person's side if there's no love between them. But if there is love?  It's crazy and stupid for there to be any avoidance.

16. Thought that it might make some sense if the healthy person has a fear of illness. It's not an admirable trait, but some people do shy away from cancer and things like that.

But avoiding someone you love with cancer, because you're afraid they only love you because of their cancer?  That just seems very silly to me.

If I was Maddie, I'd probably never forgive Oscar.

16. Saw Phoebe question her reaction to the stalker in the morning.

She asks a policewoman if she had overreacted.

Fortunately, the policewoman was decent enough to assure her she didn't.

I've never been in a severe situation like that. But there have been times where I feel I've been wronged by someone. I get angry—react. Or I just feel anger and resentment.  Then, often, I question if I have a right to feel that way. Could it be that I wasn't wronged?  Could it be that I was actually the person in the wrong?

Sometimes what I've done to put things in perspective is imagine the same thing happening to someone else—maybe one of my sisters or a TV character.  Would I be on their side or the other person's side?

17. Thought more about this exercise, and decided I should do it more often. It really is helpful.

I just pictured various things that have annoyed, hurt, and angered me. Then I imagined characters on Coronation Street doing them.  With some of the actions, it made me see it's really not a big deal. If I saw a character on Coronation Street do it, I'd think it was probably funny, and understandable.  Then with another thing, imagining a character doing it made me see the character as a major asshole.

18. Decided bad behavior can be divided into three types A) Funny asshole-behavior B) evil asshole-behavior c) scary asshole-behavior.

I think stalker Ryan's behavior would be in the C category.

19. Realized I needed to add another category. So....D) dumb asshole-behavior. That would be for the way Oscar acted towards Maddie.

20. Thought that some behaviors aren't easy to label and their placement would be determined by frequency and intent.

If Stalker-Ryan continues to pursue and terrorize Phoebe, then that behavior would be evil-asshole behavior.

21. Wondered if I'd need a category for selfishness or greed.

I think I'll skip it. I think most of that can be put in either the funny or dumb group.

22. Changed my mind.

I need a selfishness-asshole category. Maybe I'd just call it narcissistic-asshole behavior.

23. Went to the Tropfest website.

Today will begin my adventures with the 2009 finalists.

I've already twice watched one of the films—"Being Carl Williams".  I don't think I'll watch it again.

I thought it had won, because it's icon photo is the one used as the link for the 2009 finalists. But I Googled, and saw another film had won.

24. Clicked on "The News". It has an actor familiar to me, but I forget his name. He was on Love My Way, and other things.

25. Started watching the film. It's four minutes which surprised me. Almost all the 2008 movies were seven minutes.

26. Felt the behavior of the guy in the movie would be classified as scary-asshole.

27. Saw the name of the actor in the credits. It's Damon Herriman.

28. Wanted to say that I liked the movie.

29. Went to the website of Luke Shanahan, the guy who wrote and directed "News".  He doesn't have much listed on IMDb, but I'm imagining he might have done stuff beyond what's there.

30. Saw that Shanahan has various videos on his site. Some are short film, and I think some are commercials.

31. Watched Shanahan's Wrigley's commercial.  It's cute.  The accents are American. Either it was made for the US, or it's one of those commercials where the company uses foreign accents to try to sell something.

32. Started to watch a music video by Shanahan.

There's a guy tied up and gagged in a bathtub. I think he's another victim of scary-asshole behavior.

33. Thought the video was very dark, creepy, and unsettling.

It definitely didn't have a happy ending.

34. Followed the link to Luke Shanahan's Twitter.

35. Learned that Shanahan is working on a feature film called Rabbit.  I also saw the title mentioned on his website but wasn't sure what it referred to.

36. Saw that there's a Twitter account for the movie...or really, the production company (alongshotfilm) It doesn't give me much information.

I followed the link on Twitter to alongshotfilm's website. That's overly mysterious as well.

37. Saw from this website that Rabbit is about a girl looking for her kidnapped twin sister.

I think Shanahan might have a thing for stories involving scary-asshole behavior.

38. Wanted to talk more about my asshole divisions.

I have some much stuff swimming in my head.

First, I'm going to change the narcissistic- asshole behavior to greedy-asshole behavior.

I have a hard time spelling narcissistic. But that's not all. I think greedy can encompass a larger range of behaviors. A spouse who plays Sims 4 all day and doesn't help with the housework or childcare is being greedy with relaxation and leisure. Your aunt who ate too much vanilla custard and didn't leave enough for everyone else was being greedy with gluttony. The person who talks too much and/or brags too much is being greedy for attention.

We can also be greedy with money, sex, material goods, opportunities, and other things I can't think of right now.

39. Decided possessiveness with other people would be love-greed.

I'm a greedy asshole to Tim when I make it known that I want our cat to sit only on my lap and not his. I don't want to share the cat love.  I'm not bad enough to pull Max over to my lap, but I do give a few pouty looks.

40. Wanted to explain more about scary-asshole behavior.

This involves moments of insanity and/or loss of control. It can range from throwing a glass of wine at your lover in a fancy restaurant to shooting your husband's mistress.

I think we all have scary asshole behavior, but fortunately we don't all have the high end murder/stalker type stuff.

41. Thought about evil-asshole behavior.

What separates it from other asshole behavior is the asshole actually experiences sustained joy from the misdeed.

Now I think, sometimes, other asshole behavior brings short-term contentment. There's a feeling of satisfaction, especially if we're acting out on revenge.  If guilt, embarrassment, or regret doesn't eventually replace the satisfaction; then I'd probably classify it as evil-asshole behavior.

42. Thought Elizabeth's actions on Wicked Science is a good example of evil-asshole behavior.  She does things to purposely cause people trouble, and she seems to greatly enjoy it.

43. Saw an asshole-behavior on Coronation Street, and I don't know which category it fits into.

It's a fairly common thing, so it's not like I can just skip over it in my categorizing.

The behavior I'm thinking about is responding to someone's friendly or benign statement with a harsh remark. If the asshole enjoys seeing the other person hurt, it could be evil-asshole behavior.

Maybe in most cases, it would be scary-asshole behavior.  I think a lot of times people are experiencing a temporary loss of control when they say these things.  It's like we don't want to be mean, but we can't help ourselves.

44. Figured it could also be put into the greedy-asshole behavior. Maybe it's wittiness-greed?  Our desire to feel clever surpasses our desire to be kind.

45. Decided saying mean things could also be about power-greed.

Let's say a child draws a picture and shows it to her cousin. If the cousin says, That's ugly, she may be trying to weaken her cousin's confidence and self-worth. For some, making another person feel weak is a way of making themselves feel powerful.

46. Decided insults could also be about attention-greed.  If we feel someone else is about to steal too much of the limelight, we may try to take it away from them. by cutting them down to size.

47. Thought about how greedy-asshole behavior can come in surprising forms.

One such form is the need-to-be-needed greedy-asshole behavior. With this behavior, the person gives money or gifts, or they provide services to an excessive degree.  More importantly, they give with an attitude of smugness. There's an implied message that the recipients of their generosity are inferior.

Also, people engaging in this flavor of greedy-asshole behavior will often fail to notice and/or acknowledge the contribution of others. If she's pushed to notice, she will find reason to dismiss the contribution or try to take credit for it.

48. Thought since my fiction-writing career hasn't zoomed off in wonderful directions, maybe I can make a career out of writing dogmatic, narrow-minded pop psychology books.

I still get annoyed with the five love language theory books, because my love language isn't included.

I figure someone will read this and see that I failed to include the type of asshole-behavior that plagues their life.  I apologize to them in advance.

Commas, Education, Wyrmwood, and Alex Holmes

1. Read an article about the horrible fires in Western Australia.

It happened in a town called Yarloop. 128 homes were destroyed.

I imagine it's going to be very difficult for the town and it's inhabitants to recover. But I hope they do. 

2. Saw on Google Maps that Yarloop is about four hours south of Perth. And it's about an hour north of Bunbury.  

3. Read an article about homeschooling in Victoria. It's on the rise.

It seems to be on the rise in a lot of places.

The article was mostly positive. It had only one critical statement: But critics say not all parents are equipped to educate their children and they can miss out on important socialisation in a broader school environment.

I think we can use a similar statement for schooled-children. But critics say not all teachers are equipped to educate children, and the children can miss out on important family socialization time.

What I like in the article is that the quoted president of the Home Education Association sounds quite reasonable when talking about a homeschooling student who did very well on some tests. She calls him a poster child for homeschooling and says, He was already very intelligent, he would have done well no matter what.

With the world's view on homeschooling, it seems to go in two opposite extremes. The first is homeschooled children are all going to end up socially and educationally deprived. The second is that any and all homeschooled children are going to end up winning spelling bees and getting into Harvard.

As for the negative opinions. There's an example in the comment section.

Ryan says,  Poor kids, having only their parents view of the world, thats not education.  

Well, yeah. I agree. Poor kids...IF they're only getting their parent's view of the world. I imagine that does happen sometimes. Unfortunately.

But if Ryan himself had been properly educated, he would have the ability to understand that most homeschooling children read books, have access to a variety of opinions via the Internet, and have conversations with people outside of their immediate family.

4. Wondered about the school that Ryan went to. Did any of his classes teach anything about stereotyping?  Did he have any practice in critical thinking?

5. Wondered about commas. Before when I looked at the quote from the president of the Home Education Association I noticed a comma in a place that I felt should have a period or semi-colon.

The article says she says, He was already very intelligent, he would have done well no matter what.  I would have written that as, He was already very intelligent. He would have done well no matter what.  Or I would have written, He was already very intelligent; he would have done well no matter what.

Then there's the same kind of thing with Ryan's comment. I would have ended the sentence at "world", and then have "that" as the start of a new sentence. Or I would have used a semicolon.

I don't know if I'm wrong or they're wrong. Or is it some kind of cultural difference? Maybe Australians punctuate differently than Americans?

6. Wanted to note it's quite possible I'm wrong.

I'm not very good with grammar and punctuation. I make lots of mistakes.

When Jack and I do his English lessons, I'm often benefitting as much as he is.  Or sometimes I'm not benefitting. I'm just sitting there lost and confused.

7. Realized it's not fair for me to blame Ryan's schools for his ignorant comment. Are my schools to blame for my subpar grammar skills? Probably not.

An educational result is not completely dependent on the teacher, program, or parent.  I doubt it's even halfway dependent.

The intelligence, motivation level, and personality of the learner plays a huge part in whether the results are positive or not.

Even with the unfortunate child who is given only his or her parent's viewpoint: the smart ones will eventually breakthrough and seek out alternate views. The not-so-smart ones will believe their parent's view is gospel.  The exception would be children who are literally kept as prisoners. But that's a whole other, very tragic, story.

8. Heard Whitley's "Cheap Clothes" while exercising, and thought of our time in Halls Gap.

9. Started to watch an episode of Home and Away.

10. Felt bad for Hannah (Cassie Howarth) because she might be paralyzed for life. I also feel bad for her loved ones, because they're going to have a lot of work to do.

It's hard to be so incredibly dependent on other people, and it's very hard to be at the beck and call of someone who is very dependent on you.

11. Saw that, in 2011, Cassie Howarth was one of the stars of an American science fiction TV show called Bar Karma.

12. Consulted Lord Wiki about Bar Karma.  He says the show was a sort of online community contest. People would pitch their ideas; then the producers would choose the ones they like and develop episodes based on that.

That's pretty cool.

I sometimes wonder if other TV shows are secretly like this. Do show runners ever consult message boards about their shows and then decide to use an idea they see? Or do they ever let criticism of their show influence what's going to happen next?

13. Saw a character on Home and Away wearing very American-themed clothing.

14. Thought about how Neighbour's characters often wore American-themed T-shirts.

I can't help but wonder if this Americana spirit is for the benefit of American Hulu viewers.

Is that paranoid of me?

Okay, but in the very first episodes of Neighbours shown on Hulu, one of the characters left for San Francisco and had an American-themed good-bye party.  If I remember correctly, there were American-themed cupcakes.

Now I'm watching the first episodes of Home and Away shown on Hulu, and there's a girl wearing an American flag T-shirt.

15. Saw three possibilities.

A) Wearing American-themed stuff is actually common practice in Australia, and the TV shows are properly representing reality.

B) Wearing American-themed stuff is seen as being cool by Australian TV wardrobe staff.

C) Australian TV producers understand that Americans are ethnocentric and want to believe the whole world is in love with them.  So when they know their show is going to be seen by Americans, they start having the characters display America-love.

16. Wanted to say that as an American, I do feel a kind of virtual hug when I see Australian characters wearing American-themed clothing.

It's just like I feel a little slap when I hear a dig about the US from a Coronation Street or Australian TV character.  Though, it's not often in the form of a direct criticism. I think usually it's a character chiding another character for using an American idiom or American spelling.

17. Finished watching the Home and Away episode.

18. Started watching the movie Wyrmwood: Road of the Dead.

So far, I'm not too pleased with it.

First of all, the movie started out with action. I'm not a big fan of action sequences, especially if I don't know the characters involved.

Second, the zombie make-up looks less professional than The Walking Dead's work. Although who am I to judge what a real zombie would look like?. Maybe real life zombies would be closer to Wyrmwood's vision than The Walking Dead's.

19. Watched more of the movie.

Now I'm liking it.

So far, I'm impressed with the dialogue.

The characters seem interesting as well.

20. Continued to enjoy the movie.

It's exciting.

21. Intrigued by the movie.

After getting attacked by zombies, a family put on special gas masks. It's as if they knew a zombie invasion was imminent.

Or maybe the zombie invasion was already happening, and the family was prepared for it to come to them. I guess I assumed that the zombie thing was new to this movie's universe. Maybe it wasn't. Although this other character seemed surprised about the whole thing.

22. Figured the moviemakers want me to be a little confused right now, and things will get clearer the more I watch.

23. Stopped watching Wyrmwood for today.

I look forward to watching more of it tomorrow.

24. Went to the Tropfest website. Today I'm going to watch a 2008 film called "Glass".

I'm pretty sure I'm seeing Callan Mulvey in the icon picture; so I'm guessing he's in the film.

25. Watched the film.

It confused me.

26. Looked at YouTube comments for clarification.

Multiple people thought it was a ghost kind of thing.

Yeah. I was kind of thinking it went along those lines.

27. Wondered about Jayne Montague, the director of "Glass".  Her name seems familiar to me. Have I watched one of her movies before?

28. Saw that Jayne Montague was the director of "Still", a 2007 short film.

I'm thinking that's the one where the husband leaves his wife.

29. Looked at "Still" on IMDb.

Yeah, I think it's the movie about marital problems.

30. Saw that Lara Cox, the actress in "Glass" was one of the stars of Heartbreak High. I know Callan Mulvey was as well. So I guess this was a kind of reunion film.

31. Saw that both Cox and Mulvey where in seasons five through seven of the show.

32. Saw that the third actor in the film, Tai Nguyen, was ALSO in Heartbreak High, but he was in the first and second seasons.

33. Had to wonder if Jayne Montague has some connection to Heartbreak High.

34. Looked at Jayne Montague's filmography again. I don't see Heartbreak High on it.

I'm forming a scenario in my mind. Maybe she was friends with one of the actors in Heartbreak High. Or maybe she was a friend of a friend of one of the actors. Maybe she got one of them to be in her film, and that actor was able to bring in two more Heartbreak High actors.

35. Saw that Alex Holmes, the art director for "Glass" was also the art director for The Babadook.

36. Went to Alex Holmes' website.

He has his work divided into three categories—television commercials, art direction, and production design.

I wish I understood the difference between art direction and production design.

Though I can't say I've worked to hard to learn about it.

Maybe I should attempt that now.

37. Googled and ended up on the Art Director's Guild.

I'll read what they have to say and see if I understand it.

38. Learned that the art director works under the production designer. The production designer is the supervisor.

39. Finished reading the page. What I get is that the production designer is the big boss when it comes to the appearance of the film.

I still don't quite understand what the art director does.

It seems, from what I read, that the art director helps the production designer achieve the production designer's vision, while the production designer helps the director achieve the director's vision.

I'm guessing the power given to the production designer probably depends on the director. Some directors might have strong and specific opinions about how they want a film to look, while others might want the production designer to have more input.

40. Imagined it might be like weddings.

The bride would be the director. The wedding planner would be the production designer. Then maybe the art director would be the wedding planner's assistant. It wouldn't be an assistant as in go get me a coffee or cancel my dentist appointment.  It would be someone who actually contributes to the end wedding result.

Anyway, some brides have a very vague idea of what they want. Other brides have very specific ideas about table decorations, flowers, wedding favors, cake, etc.

41. Noticed that Holmes doesn't have "Glass" listed on the website.

I wonder why.

Did he have a falling out with Montague? Was he not happy with his work on the movie?

Or maybe he just forgot to list it.

42. . Saw that Alex Holmes has a bio page on The Babadook website.

43. Learned that Holme's education background is in painting and drawing. He went to school in Scotland and Sydney.

I wonder if he's originally from Scotland. Or is he an Australian who went to Scotland to study?

44.. Started watching Holme's showreel on Vimeo.

A lot of the scenes are dreary. I remember that being the case with The Babadook.

45. Started to think that Holmes talent lies in helping to create depressing films.

46. Saw from Statcounter that I'm getting a fair bit of traffic on my Simon Burke post.

What's up with that?

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Wentworth Dreams, Friendly Strangers, Home and Away Actors, and Freak Show Documentaries

1. Had dreams about Wentworth. 

In the first dream, I'm watching Wentworth and trying to blog about it. There are people with me. This one girl keeps making comments about the show. I decide, and say, that I'll have to watch the show by myself.  I explain that I'm afraid I'm going to accidentally steal the girl's ideas and write them in my blog. Or I won't know which ideas come from me and which come from her.  

In the next dream, I'm an actress on Wentworth.  A woman comes over to me, and with a very harsh demeanor, she fires me. 

Then the director (or producer?) comes to talk to me. She's very kind, regretful, and apologetic. She tells me that she was told that they have one too many foreign actors on the show. They had to get rid of one. I'm slightly amused, because I hadn't seen myself as being a foreign actor.

I think that dream was about typical American ethnocentrism. It's the same thing that gives us the idea that everyone else has an accent except us.

Foreigners are not-Americans and Americans are Americans.

Am I that ethnocentric in my real-waking life? I don't know. Of course I understand that if I visit a different country, I'm the foreigner. Yet I think if I saw a foreign film festival and American films were mentioned, I'd be amused.

Anyway.....

Last night I thought it was very random that I dreamed about Wentworth. Then I remembered a few days ago, Tim and I talked about prisons and the differences I've seen on Australian/British vs. American TV shows.

Also, when I was looking at comments on YouTube about "Blues for the Soul" someone had mentioned The Shawshank Redemption.

2. Wanted to mention one of my other dream.  An Australian we know comments on our photo saying her husband hired some people to be his friends.

Or maybe he wanted to hire some friends. I'm not sure he actually managed to hire them.

I think I dreamed this because I went on Tower of Terror alone yesterday. It's the third time I've done that. I love the ride. I think it's one of my favorites. .

But, though I'm a pretty independent person, going on that ride makes me feel lonely. I think it's because there's a major group atmosphere.

 No, that's not right.

It's almost like the opposite. Though you're in a room and having an experience with about twenty people, I've never had a feeling that we're all in this together. It's more like everyone is bonded only with their own little group.

In comparison, whenever we've gone on something like Kali River Rapids, there's a sense of bonding with strangers. There's interaction and friendliness.

3. Decided it's the whole thing of loneliness among a crowd.

Some crowds can make you feel very welcome. There's a sense of inclusiveness. Other crowds accentuate your loneliness.

The latter has been my experience each time on Tower of Terror. This time, even talking to some of my fellow riders, before getting on the ride, didn't help.  This came after eavesdropping on their conversation for the thirty minutes in the line. I had kept wanting to say something but didn't want to make it obvious that I was listening in on their conversation.

At the end, I finally asked one of them if they've been on the ride before. They were quite friendly, but I felt like an intrusion. It could be because they were cute and young—probably in their early twenties.  I felt that they saw me as this desperate and lonely old lady.  

Anyway, I was thinking it would be cool if Disney paired up people going on the ride alone. They could do this at the beginning so you'd have someone to talk to in the line.

No, actually I'd hate that. I'd like having someone on the ride with me for a short amount of conversation and companionship. I wouldn't want to be stuck having forced conversation with a stranger for thirty or more minutes.

4. Decided it's probably just been a run of bad luck.

I think Disney visitors can be divided into two groups—those who like meeting new people and having friendly short chats with strangers and those who'd really prefer to talk only with the people they already know.

I'm very much in the former group. Though I'm not big on the friendship thing, I am big on human interaction. I love meeting new people and having lovely short conversations.  Fortunately for me, I've often encountered other friendly-to-strangers people at Disney World.

There's nothing wrong with the other group, of course. I'm guessing, though, that they're probably my opposite. They prefer friendships over short friendly conversations with strangers.

5. Decided there are probably many people who are both. My sister Dawn is one. She loves having friends. She also loves talking to new people. I think it's because sometimes you can turn random strangers INTO your friends.

6. Watched some of a Home and Away episode while doing a short workout in the hotel gym.

Now I'm going to watch the rest of the episode while sitting lazily on a cushy chair.

7. Finished watching the episode.

I can imagine myself slowly growing to like this show.

I'm starting to sort of care about the characters. Or at least they're starting to look like separate people to me...rather than just a massive blob of prettiness.

8. Drifted in and out of sleep while sitting in the comfy chair.  I had various weird dream images including one of a Home and Away character doing a crazy ninja kick-jump. It seems he was going to jump through a glass window or door.

Now I'm going to try to figure out the name of the character.

I think his name is something like Chad or Zack?  He'd a doctor. His wife is the mentally unstable one that caused the bus accident.

9. Felt I'm wrong. I think I'm getting two characters confused.

Because the character I'm thinking of today has a girlfriend or wife in a coma? Or at least he feels the need to take care of the son of the woman in the coma.

Shit! I'm so lost.

Are there two characters that look a lot alike?  Or is there a guy on the show that has both a coma-girlfriend and a mentally unstable wife?

10. Looked at IMDb which is nice enough to provide names of the characters and a plot description.

So now I know that the guy I saw today on the show, and in my dream, is named Zac.

11. Felt I should actually thank IMDB user skteosk, because he's the one that wrote the plot description.

So, thank you, Stkeosk.  I think you'll be a sort of Home and Away tour guide for me.

I might need one for awhile.

12. Saw that the other character I was thinking of—the one with the wife who caused the accident—is named Nate.

Do Nate and Zac look anything alike?

13. Saw Nate is played by Kyle Pryor and Zac is played by Charlie Clausen.

14. Looked at photos of Pryor and Clausen.

I can see a resemblance. I don't blame myself for confusing them.

15. Found the Tropfest film I'm going to watch today. It's a 2008 film called "The Code".

16. Thought it would be cool if it were a prequel to the TV show The Code.

It would be neat if any Tropfest film ended up becoming a future TV show.

17. Started to watch the film.

It seems to be about standardized testing. Or at least standardized testing is shown in the film.

18. Saw that the film is about kids helping each other cheat on the standardized test.

19. Finished watching the movie.

It was cute, but I felt it went on a bit long for what it was. I think it would have been better off as a three minute movie rather than a seven minute movie.

The whole movie is kids giving each other the answers via pen clicks, fake burps, fake yawns, and fake coughs. It's clever but gets old after a short while.

20. Looked at the filmography of Murray Fahey, the writer and director of "The Code".

He's an actor—probably a character actor.

The thing in his credits that stands out the most to me is he appeared in five episodes of Prisoner: Cell Block H. In four of the episodes, he played the same character. So he was recurring guest star.

21. Saw that Fahey was writing and directing full-length movies before his 2008 short became a Tropfest finalist. In 1995, he wrote and directed Sex is a Four Letter Word. Miranda Otto was one of the stars. I vaguely remember hearing of the movie. Maybe I wrote about it when I did my Miranda Otto post?

22. Saw that Fahey wrote and directed a horror movie in 1993—Voyage into Fear.

23. Saw that in 2014, Fahey made a documentary about gnome-collecting.

24. Saw that Rebecca De Unamuno, the actress who played the teacher on the show, has appeared on Kath and Kim, Hamish and Andy, and The Chaser's War on Everything.

25. Saw that one of the cheating students (Shardyn Fahey-Leigh) appeared on the TV show My Place.

He appeared as Bertie, the 1918 character.

26. Went to Murray Fahey's website.

27. Learned that Murray Fahey, along with being a writer, director, and actor, is also an entertainment lawyer. And he has his own film production company called Coventry Films.

28. Saw that Fahey's production company is open to receiving screenplays.

That's very cool.  It makes me wish I had a recent screenplay to submit to them.

The last time I wrote one was in 2000...or maybe it was even before that.

29. Saw that there's a whole website about Fahey's Gnomebrook documentary.

I'm too tired to look deeply into it.

30. Watched the trailer of the documentary.

I'm wondering how it paints the gnome collectors.

I have a feeling it's one of those films that finds the most outlandish people in the group and then makes it seem like everyone in the group is that extreme.

Another thing they do, in the type of programs I'm imagining, is take relatively moderate people and edit the footage in a way that makes them seem as nuts as possible.

31. Decided one way a documentary filmmaker could figure out his aim in making a film is to imagine what he'd like the audience to feel about the human subjects. Does he envision the audience thinking. Wow. That's pretty interesting.  Those people seem cool.  Or does he envision the audience laughing at the people in the film thinking, They're so creepy! What total losers.

It's like me. I'm definitely weird. I'm a homeschooling mom who's obsessed with Australia. A documentary filmmaker can make me and my weirdness seem like a good-weird thing.  Or the filmmaker can make me seem creepy, deranged, and unrelatable.

I've gotten a few emails asking me to appear on documentaries—both for the unschooling and Australia-obsession. I've said no for various reasons. But the main reason is I had a feeling I'd be put in as negative a light as possible.

I mean really. Think about it.  With the people displayed on freak show documentaries, do they receive an email saying. Hi! We think you're really odd and want to give our audience something disgusting that they can laugh at and gossip about. Would you please honor us by appearing on our show?   

32. Felt MAYBE I'm being unfair.

Maybe Gnomebrook treats gnome collectors in a fair, balanced, and respectful way.

Maybe the people who wanted me in their reality TV documentaries thought it was delightfully quirky that I am obsessed with Australia.  Maybe it would all be positive.

But I have my doubts...unfortunately.

33. Wanted to say that when I was on TV,  I was asked to do things I wouldn't normally do. If I remember correctly, they wanted me to hold up an Australian flag and wave it.  I'm sorry. But no. I don't usually walk around the street waving a little Australian flag.

I do sometimes wear Australian T-shirts, but usually this is at home, the lakehouse, or casual places like Disney World.

Then for a show I declined, they wanted me to throw a barbecue or party where I would feed Australian food to my friends and family.

I've never done this before in my life. Well, I take that back. Sort of.  For one of my birthdays, one year, I brought some Australian treats to share.  But it was just the lake house family—a small group.

I don't throw big parties with prawns on the barbie for all my neighbors.

But see, the show wanted to portray me in that way.

These reality TV documentaries can be very manipulative.

Maybe the gnome thing isn't that way. Maybe they present people as they truly are. But there's a chance they don't. There's a chance, these gnome collectors were told to act in ways they don't usually act, SO they'l appear even weirder than they really are.


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Youthful Cast, Herbert Hoover, Kevin Rudd in NYC, and Cairnes' Horror Stuff

1. Started to watch an episode of Scooter: Secret Agent.

2. Saw that Bud Tingwell is in this episode.

He looked familiar to me, but I didn't know who he was. IMDb had to inform me.

Another person I recognized, on the episode, is Nikolai Nikolaeff from The Saddle Club.  I knew right away it was him, but this might because I saw his name, a few weeks ago, when I first looked at Scooter: Secret Agent on IMDb. 

3. Started watching an episode of Home and Away. 

4. Decided I might enjoy Home and Away more if I consider it a teen show.

It's more similar to shows like Charmed, Pretty Little Liars, Vampire Diaries, and Beverly Hills 90210 than it is to shows like Neighbours and Coronation Street. 

The other day I tried comparing it to Days of our Lives, but from what I used to watch on DOOL, it was not as youth-oriented as Home and Away.

The main characters of Home and Away seem to all be under thirty and very attractive. There are some older adults, but they don't seem to really have their own storylines. Their roles seem to be more about supporting the younger cast.   

5. Thought of 1988-1990 Home and Away. It was definitely less youth-oriented.  

6. Learned about Herbert Hoover in our history class today. It turns out he spent a lot of time in Australia doing mining work.  

7. Saw that Herbert Hoover actually has an entry in the Australian Dictionary of Biography.

Wow! I'm not sure if I've ever seen a non-Aussie in there. 

8. Learned that Hoover came to Western Australia when he was in his early twenties. 

9. Got the idea that Hoover's contributions to Australian mining were more positive and impressive than his contributions to the US as our president.  

10. Learned about the Herbert Hoover Bed and Breakfast in Gwalia Western Australia.

Hoover directed the building project but then moved away to China before it was finished.

He did, however, stay in the lodging for some time in 1902. 

11. Saw from Google Maps that Gwalia is around nine hours west of Perth.  

12. Thought it would be a good driving trip for those interested in mining. You'd also pass through Kalgoorlie. 

13. Saw that the rates for the Herbert Hoover Bed and Breakfast are quite reasonable. It's $150 for an ensuite room.  

Since the price is low, it kind of makes me wonder if it's lacking air-conditioning.  

I would think it gets very hot in that area.

14. Read some reviews of Herbert Hoover Bed and Breakfast on Trip Advisor. They're very positive. And the place DOES have air-conditioning. 

15. Wondered if Herbert Hoover spent more time in Australia than any other US president.

16. Wondered which Prime Minister of Australia spent the most time in the US?  Did any of them ever live here? I don't think any did, but I could be wrong.  

17. Learned from Lord Wiki that Kevin Rudd lived in the US in 2014.  He did/does foreign policy type work.

Is he still there?

18. Found an article/interview, from October 2015, about Rudd living in NYC. I'm guessing, since it's only three months later, that he's still there. 

19. Learned that Rudd goes to China about every two months. This makes sense, because his job in New York is being head of the Asia Society Policy Institute.

20. Liked what Rudd says here. By instinct I’m a global citizen, and I have lived out of Australia for many years – I feel very much at home in different parts of the world.

I like the mindset of being a global citizen.

21. Liked what Rudd calls his three-year-old granddaughter—a threenager.  Did he make that term up?

We had a threenager in our family, and now she's a REAL teenager.

22. Googled and saw that Rudd didn't invent the term threenager.

23. Read definitions of threenager, and it pretty much sounds like a typical three-year-old to me—moody and stubborn.

I was picturing something else, but I'm not sure I can explain it.

Maybe it would be a child who seems quite keen to join the teen and/or adult world.

I picture little divas who want to be the center of attention.

24.  Thought about something I read in my old blog post that I read today. It was along the lines of behavior not being determined by age.

Age is a factor to some degree. Of course. But I think temperament trumps that. A flexible, easygoing teenager was probably fairly flexible and easygoing as a toddler. A shy ten-year-old was likely also shy when she was three. A bossy preschooler will probably be bossy when she's college-aged.

Then again, it could go in the opposite direction. An easygoing three-year-old might have bottled up feelings of rebellion that she finally lets out when she's fourteen.

25. Felt I might be wrong, but I don't know.

Is our behavior determined more by age or our general temperament?  Does my personality have more in common with other people in their early forties; or does it have more in common with Dina at age seven and Dina at age twenty-two?

26.  Went to the Tropfest website.

Today I'm going to watch a 2008 film called "Beggar's Belief".

27. Started watching the film.

A beggar is telling people his wife has cancer and their car was stolen.

Is he telling the truth?

28. Saw that the guy is probably lying.

It's another case of someone lying about cancer.

With all this fake cancer in the world, how are the real cancer victims going to be believed?

29. Thought that film was a great morality tale.

It was creepy and suspenseful.

30. Looked at "Beggar's Belief" on IMDb.

It was filmed in Ballarat, which makes sense. It takes place in Ballarat.

31. Saw that the movie was written by Colin and Cameron Cairnes.

I'm going to guess they're brothers.

32. Saw that Colin Cairnes was the director. I wonder if he wrote most of the movie or if the writing was split pretty evenly?

33. Wondered why I'm asking dumb questions.

34. Felt I was actually being a bit dishonest.

I don't really give a crap what percentage of the film was written by which Cairnes brother.

I think I was just trying to be conversational.

It's like when you're at some social event stuck talking to someone you'd rather not talk to. And then you ask rhetorical questions you really don't give a crap about just to fill the silence.

35. Saw that Cameron Cairnes was the writer and director for 100 Bloody Acres.

I might have heard of that before. It sounds familiar.

36. Saw that I knew of some of the actors in the 100 Bloody Acres cast—Damon Herriman, John Jarrett, Anna McGahan, Angus Sampson,

37. Noticed that Cameron AND Colin Cairnes wrote and directed 100 Bloody Acres.

I missed that before.

I'm tired.

38.  Watched the trailer for 100 Bloody Acres.

It looks gruesome.

The jokes didn't make me laugh, but maybe they work better in the actual film than the trailer.

Sometimes I think jokes in trailers feel too forced.

Or there's that feeling that the movie is saying, Look I'm funny! I have jokes. Come see me!  

And then I want to reply.  Are those all your jokes? Are they your funniest? If those are your best jokes, why do I need to see the movie?

If I see a trailer for a comedy and nothing makes me laugh, it's hard to feel motivated about seeing the movie. If it does make me laugh, then I wonder if that's it. Is there any point in seeing the movie? What if the funniest parts are in the trailer, and it doesn't get any better?

I think sometimes, though, it works out that the movie is funnier than the trailer...or at least more entertaining.

There are movies better than their trailers.

There are also trailers that are better than their movies.

39. Looked at the Cairnes' upcoming film. It's a horror movie called Scare Campaign.

Ian Meadows, from The Moody's, is one of the stars.

40. Saw that John Brumpton is in the movie.

I feel like I've seen his name on IMDb recently, but I don't know why.

He was on many episodes of season one of Tangle, but I don't remember him.

41. Saw that the cast of Scare Campaign has two actresses from SeaChange—Sigrid Thornton and Cassandra Magrath.

I remember Thornton's character. I don't know who Magrath played.

42. Wondered if maybe Magrath played Thornton's daughter.

43. Got idea from Lord Wiki that I'm right.

Thornton's and Magrath's characters both have the last name Gibson.

44. Watched the teaser trailer for Scare Campaign.

It looks scary and gruesome.

45. Felt that from what I saw in "Beggar's Belief" and the two trailers, the Cairnes brothers are good with horror.

46. Hoped I wasn't making a mistake about the brother thing.

47. Saw, that in 2007-2008, Colin Cairnes directed a TV show in Singapore called Parental Guidance. 

Surprisingly, it doesn't seem to be a horror thing.

48. Learned from Lord Wiki that 100 Bloody Acres received positive reviews from critics.  I actually saw that mentioned in YouTube comments, but I didn't give it much attention.

One of the critics compared the movie to Shaun of the Dead.  I liked that movie, so maybe I'd also like 100 Bloody Acres.

49. Saw that the movie was nominated for awards—best screenplay, best supporting actor, best actor, and best actress.

50. Found an interview with Colin and Cameron Cairnes.

I think I'm going to read that, and then end this.

I'm really tired.

51. Learned that the brothers have been working together since they were teenagers.

52. Felt relieved to learn that they are indeed brothers.

It seemed highly likely that they were—same last name and the first name alliteration.

But I felt guilty making assumptions.

53. Reminded of my own sibling relationship when reading that Cameron and Colin watched a lot of 1970's and 1980's horror movies.

My sister and I did that; though probably more 80's than 70's.

54. Looked at another article even though I said I wouldn't. It's just I feel conflicted about quitting too soon.

Plus, the article is in Fangoria. I remember looking at that magazine back in the 80's. I might have even bought a few issues.

Anyway, the article/interview says that 100 Bloody Acres has more Aussie references than the other Australian horror movies that have been released recently.

Because of that, I'd really like to see it. Maybe it's on Netflix or Hulu?

55. Checked my to-watch list and saw 100 Bloody Acres is already on it.

So...that's probably why it sounded familiar to me.

Hopefully, I'll end up watching it soon.

Edited to add 4/12/2024- Last night I was listening to the most recent episode of the podcast Weird Crap in Australia.  The episode is about the Cowra breakout.  But what stood out to me is in their rambling they mentioned the new movie Late Night with the Devil. I looked it up and watched the trailer.  I'm very intrigued.  I haven't been this hyper-focused on possession since around Halloween time in October 2022 when I happened to learn about Ronald Hunkeler .

In the past few days, I've taken a few steps back into watching short films.  I decided to watch one of the films from the writer/director of Late Night with the Devil and ended up seeing indication that I had watched or at least started to watch Beggar's Belief already.  And then I saw that I had already given it a thumbs up.  I figured I had watched it for my blog...since it's Australian.  I expected to find I had mentioned it briefly and was pleasantly surprised to find I had blabbed on quite a bit about it.

Also I had recently watched an interview with Taika Waititi and Jemaine Clement where one of them complained about American movie trailers.  While watching it, I thought about how I agreed with them.  And so I was also pleasantly surprised that 2015-Me not only agreed but had written about it.

Read my novel: The Dead are Online