Time, Setting, Simon Wincer, and Lost

1. Had a lovely dream about Geoffrey Rush.

I'm at a spelling bee show.  Geoffrey Rush is one seat away from me. The announcers of the show ask in Spanish for people not to dance.  They seem to be joking around.  In response, people (probably Spanish-speaking) get up to dance.

I have a bag of chocolate bars. I've already eaten one and think of eating another. I decide not to.

The person sitting next to me asks Geoffrey Rush how long the show is going to last.  Rush says something. Then I say, "It's going to go on forever".  I start to think the person next to me probably asked that so he could have an excuse to talk to Geoffrey Rush.  I feel kind of bad for butting in.  But Geoffrey Rush smiles at me, and I like that.

2. Looked back at the Aussie horror movie article.  

I decided I'm just going to look at the article every so often and find movies to look up.

3. Looked up Snapshot on IMDb.  

It was hard for me to find at first, because the name has been changed for American audiences.

Here it's called One More Minute. And in some instances, it's called The Day Before Halloween OR The Day After Halloween.

Are they not sure when the story takes place?

Well, maybe the plot begins the day before Halloween and ends on Halloween.

4. Saw Snapshop was directed by Simon Wincer.

He's the one who directed the Disney TV movie I used to love—The Girl Who Spelled Freedom.

It's funny. I think I wrote about the movie on my blog, but I don't know if I knew the director was Australian.  I think I just brought it up, because I was blabbing on and on about refugees.

I could be wrong.  Maybe I did find out the director was Australian.

Anyway, back to Snapshot.....

It was released in 1979.  

5. Found a website that talks about Snapshot. 

They say the movie is about murders among the modeling industry.

The website says, In the US, the film was retitled The Day After Halloween (The Night After Halloween on video) to cash-in on the popularity of John Carpenter’s hit Halloween (1978). It should be pointed out the film has no connection to Carpenter’s film nor is it even set on November 2nd.

That's pretty funny...and pathetic.

6. Looked at other movies Simon Wincer has made.

His most recent project was a movie called The Cup.  It's about the Melbourne Cup.

I feel like I've mentioned the movie recently. Did I?  I'm not sure.

Other Simon Wincer movies include Quigley Down Under, Free Willy, and D.A.R.Y.L.

7. Saw Australia mentioned on America news.

It wasn't anything exciting...at least not to me.

It was something about Kim Kardashan making an announcement on Australian TV.  

8. Ate dinner at a revolving restaurant.  When we got back, I showed Jack the Dame Edna revolving restaurant scene.



9. Had an Australian related dream.

Jack complains his ear is swollen.  It doesn't look swollen to me, and I pay it little attention.  But then other people, like Tim, can see that it's swollen. And it starts to bother Jack. We take him to the doctor.  They suggest giving him children's Tylenol and cookies with Eucalyptus. 

I woke up after the dream and thought maybe it was trying to tell me something. Jack has had swollen tonsils for over two months now.  We've been to the doctor twice about it. She's trying to help us fix it.  The weird (but good thing) is it doesn't bother him. I mean he doesn't have a sore throat.  And he's not having snoring issues. 

I think my dream combined his health problem with Tim's.  Tim's ailment seems to be related to his ears.

Anyway, maybe Eucalyptus will help Jack's throat?  Isn't it good for sore throats?  Maybe I'll order something, or see if the grocery store has something.  I want lollipops, though.  I don't like giving him hard candy without the stick.  I'm paranoid about choking.

10. Struggled to find Eucalyptus lollipops online.

Maybe they don't exist.

11. Saw there's Eucalyptus tea.  Maybe that will help?  

12. Felt better after I read this on a medical website.  Enlarged tonsils without any symptoms are common among kids. Left alone, enlarged tonsils may eventually shrink on their own over the course of several years.

13. Had urges to quit my blog.

I won't do it.

I love it too much.

There's just aspects of it that I don't love.

What do I love?

A) All the research, reading, and Australia-seeking that I do.  It's very fun for me. 

B) It brings people into my life that are fascinating.

What do I not love?

All the insecurities it brings into my life.

What if people hate me?

What if I'm too boring?

What if I'm too weird?

Why doesn't he visit my blog anymore?  Did I offend him?  

Do people think I'm pathetic?

Do people WISH I would stop blogging?  Are they reading only out of obligation or some anal habit? 

I'm guessing, though, that many bloggers feel this way at times.

14. Sat in the Star Wars ride at Disney Studios.  I looked around at my fellow tourists and imagined, what if we got caught in some type of science fiction scenario together?  What if we were trapped together for weeks or months?

I have fun imagining stuff like that.

Anyway...that got me thinking about Lost.

I started wondering why weren't there more Australians?   It was a flight from Sydney to Los Angeles.  Shouldn't there have been more Australians visiting America?  Why was Claire the only one?

I talked to Tim about this.   My guess was that there were Australians...theoretically.   But they were among the extras and not the main stars.  Tim suggested maybe they were killed in the crash.

The other thing I'm thinking now: Were there any plain old tourists on that plane?

It seemed like everyone was there for some kind of serious reason.

Jack was there to pick up his dead father.

Claire was there to give up her baby.

Kate was escaping from the law.

Sawyer was seeking revenge.

Michael was picking up his child that he hardly knew.

Locke was on a major life quest.

And....I'm not going to name everyone.  But I can't think of anyone who was visiting Sydney just for the fun of it.

15. Listened to Jack talk about American's perceptions of Australia—ones who know very little about it.   I asked him if he knew what people usually think is the capital.   He guessed (or knew?) that it was Sydney.  

I don't think most Americans know about Canberra. I didn't until I became obsessed with Australia.   Jack might have.  He's really good with geography.

Anyway.....

Then I realized America might be similar in that regards. For people who don't know much about America, they might guess that the capital is NYC instead of Washington D.C

But then other capital cities are the most well known cities (in their countries) to foreigners. London and Paris are the ones that come to my mind.   

16. Went to bed crying and woke up in the middle of the night crying.

I guess I sort of have what some Australians call the black dog. Although I don't like the term. It's kind of rude against dogs who happen to be black.

I prefer to say I have a dark cloud hovering over me.  Or I imagine I'm plagued by Dementors.

And fortunately my dark cloud is one of those that disappears frequently to let the bright sunshine through.

Most of the time I'm having fun at Disney World.  I can still smile, laugh, and have fun.  I still have energy.

But sometimes I feel sad.

Why?

One of the reasons.....

I feel there's no one I can easily depend on for encouragement, sympathy, and support.  The best I can usually hope for is not to be insulted or barricaded.  

The only one I can often depend on for encouragement, sympathy, and support is myself. And sometimes I'm not up for the job.

It might be because I feel several people depend on me to get a large portion of THEIR encouragement, sympathy, and support.  I think it's making me feel drained.

There's that thing about bucket filling.  How does it go?  If we're nice to people, we fill their buckets.  If we're mean to people, we take from their buckets.   I'm trying so hard to fill other people's buckets, but mine is running on empty.

So....it's getting hard.  

17. Learned from Lord Wiki that the black dog metaphor didn't originate in Australia.   It comes from Horace and was popularized by Winston Churchill.

Oh well.

I associate it with Australia.

I think the first time I heard it was from an Australian.  So...that's probably why.

If I had a black dog following me; I wouldn't be sad.  I would turn around and pet it—give it cuddles.  Although I'd prefer a cat.

Or a bunny would be nice.

18. Decided to get my mind off my pity party by looking at another Aussie horror movie.

If anything, it will remind me that there's MUCH bigger problems than mine out there.

19. Looked at the movie Harlequin on IMDb.

It's another Simon Wincer movie.

I read a brief plot description, and it didn't provide me with enough over-the-top angst to diminish my self-pity.

However, the movie is about politicians. And when I saw that, I thought about Stephen Colbert.

That cheered me up, because Colbert is one of my antidepressants.   

20. Started to read Harlequin's trivia page on IMDb.  

There's some interesting stuff here.

The movie is inspired by two things that happened in history. One is the Rasputin thing—a mysterious doctor curing an illness in a politician's family. The other is the disappearance of Harold Holt.

The movie was filmed in Perth.   It's an Australian film.  Yet there's no concrete references to location.  IMDB says that it's inferred the movie takes place in America.

I guess then the characters have American accents?

21. Started to wonder if I've looked into this movie before. The Rasputin stuff is giving me a sense of deja vu.   I remember watching clips from the movie for this blog, and there was a Rasputin connection.

Maybe the movie was on the Australian screen site?

I'll go look......

22. Found Harlequin on the Australian Screen website. 

I DID watch clips of it before.

And when I saw stills from the film, I remembered that one of the actresses in the movie had a role on the American soap opera Another World.  

23. Felt a little better after doing this research.

At least my tears are all dried now.

My blog is one of my other antidepressants.  

24. Read more of Harlequin's trivia.

IMDb confirms what I suspected.

The characters spoke with American accents.

No.  I don't feel like Einstein for predicting that.  It would be hard to infer a movie took place in the United States if everyone was speaking with an Australian accent. 

25. Thought more about the lack of tourists on Lost, and realized we also didn't go to Australia for purely tourism reasons. We went, because I felt I had some kind of spiritual connection to Australia.

I would have probably fit in well as a character on Lost.  I often feel so lost. 

But still....

I am guessing that there are SOME Americans who go to Australia just for the fun of it. Right?   And/or there'd be Australians who come to America just for the fun of it.

Then again, it's such a long and expensive flight.  Maybe you do need to have some kind of deep reason for buying those plane tickets.   Otherwise most  people would probably choose a cheaper and less lengthy flight.

Deborah Mailman, Flinders Street Station, Rachel Perkns, and Waffles

1. Had lots of dreams; some of them were Australia related.

In one: I'm in a car with people I know, and Deborah Mailman is there.  Someone (not sure who) grabs Mailman and pulls her towards them so they can get a closer look at her.  Mailman is quite taken aback and doesn't seem pleased. I tell her how recently I was talking to Jack about Offspring.   Jack had interrupted me to ask about Deborah Mailman. I say the fact that people in my life seem particularly interested in Mailman indicates the two of us might have some kind of spiritual connection.   

Deborah Mailman doesn't seem overly pleased by this. She doesn't seem to like me much; yet she's not leaving us, so I'm thinking she doesn't hate me. She seems to like Jack. She's very interested in a paper he has—something he's drawn and/or written.

At one point I think about announcing that she and the woman who plays Billie Proudman (Kat Stewart) are my favorite actresses on the show.  But then I worry Asher Keddie will find out, and this might offend her.

In another dream...

An Aboriginal man has been fighting for native title. At one point, awhile back, he had announced he won't get a TV until the native title thing happens.    

It finally happens.  As a jovial token of good will, the government buys him a small TV.

In the third dream, I'm writing to one of my Australian email-pals while in the closet.  I can sort of see him while writing—like I'm getting glimpses of what he looks like.  I try to explain why I don't like Ayn Rand (we've been talking about her in real life).  I say that one of my friends read her book and admires her.  I don't like the political beliefs of this friend, and I describe these views to my email-pal.  Since I don't like her views, and I know she got many of them from Rand, I assume I probably won't like Rand.

Then I panic a bit, because I've been sending this same email pal a fictional story.  I worry he'll think it's true; and I don't like the fact that I may have unintentionally lied to him.

In real life we did exchange fiction, but we both knew it was fiction.

2. Reminded about Mike Rann leaving his Premier job from Kevin Rudd's Twitter.   I thought Rudd's Tweet about it was sweet.

Actually there were three Tweets. I'm guessing he did them all in a row—a way to get around Twitter's word count quota.

He said: Mike Rann leaves the office of Premier of South Australia today with a first class record of achievement for the state.   Mike has been attacked relentlessly in office. History will be kind to him. 10 years ago, SA had a narrow and vulnerable economy. Now it is broad and strong. Mike's leadership made a difference.

From what I know of the story, Rann was pushed out.  He didn't want to leave. I'm sure Kevin Rudd can relate to that a bit.


3. Read article with accompanying video about Mike Rann.  

Although Rann has been angry with the faction that got him pushed out of office, his goodbyes were done graciously. He says he feels malice towards none.

I'm not sure if he REALLY feels that way.  But it's nice that he's trying to feel that way.

4.  Went to Tallygarunga.

Today I'm going to read the continuation of The Next Step.  

It's the love story of James Young and Sergei. I'm not going to type out of his last name.  I'm too lazy.

James has been waiting for Sergei's call. He's been wondering if it will ever happen. Then it does!  The phone rings.

5. Started to read where I last left off.

James has stubbed his toe.

Hopefully, it's a minor injury.

I once stubbed my toe and it hurt for several weeks.

6. Reminded of myself when I read this on James' post. In truth, James wasn't really interested in 'dating' anymore. He wanted to find someone and settle down. He didn't know why, but he felt like Sergei was that person (or at least had potential to be).

I think the first time I talked to Tim on the phone I wrote in my diary that I was going to marry him; or I wanted to marry him.  It sounds quite romantic, since I did end up marrying him.

If I take a more skeptical stance, though, I probably believed that about a lot of people.

I probably assumed every guy I had a crush on was my soul mate.

7. Saw that my Australian of the day is John George Appel.

He was the son of yesterday's Appel.  

8. Learned that John George Appel was born in South Brisbane in 1859.

9. Learned that Appel went into law. He became a solicitor.

Appel became law partners with his sister's husband.

10. Saw Appel had local government type jobs—mayor and stuff like that.

In 1893 he tried to get into local parliament. He lost the election.

In 1908 he finally got a seat.  He kept it for about 21 years.

11. Learned that Appel died from drinking tainted water.

That's kind of scary.

12. Started to look at another John Lampard Flickr set.  This one has art from a cafe in Randwick Sydney.

The cafe is called Stack Cafe. 

13. Liked the first picture in a set.  I guess it's part of a mural?  John describes it as a kaleidoscope.

Yeah.  It does look like that.

14. Thought this crocodile was very scary.

I don't like crocodiles too much.

15. Reminded myself that humans are scarier than crocodiles.

Yep.

But....we're cuter.

16.  Thought this mural was very well done.  It almost looks like a photograph.

Well, it IS a photograph...of course.

I mean the painting inside the photograph looks like a photograph.

17. Thought these women's eyes were a bit spooky.

Then I realized they kind of look like olives.  

18. Looked at the Australian Monopoly board.  

I'm now on Melbourne.

Well, right now I'm at a station which I think is equivalent to the four railroads in Monopoly. Then tomorrow I'll be on the yellow properties, and those are Melbourne places.

It turns out, though, that that train station for today is a Melbourne one—Flinders Street Station.   I've heard of it before; and I've seen pictures. It's a lovely building.

19. Found Flinders Street Station on Google Maps.  It's located where Flinders Street meets up with Swanson Street.  But it looks like, right below the station, Swanson turns into St. Kilda Road.

20. Learned from Lord Wiki that Flinders Street Station is a popular meeting place for people.

21. Learned that a station was first built in the location in 1854. It was the first train station in Australia.

The current fancy station wasn't built until later.

It started with an architecture contest in 1899.

Is that particularly common in Australia...having contests to pick the design of things?   Do we do that in America too?

I know the Opera House and Canberra's design came about in that way.  

22. Learned from Lord Wiki that a design partnership called Fawcett and Ashworth won the contest.   They designed Flinders Street Station.

The station was built in stages and officially opened in 1910.

Since then there's been a lot of refurbishments.

23. Watched a flash mob at Flinders Street Station.




It's for a group called Youth Decide.

24. Went to the Youth Decide website. 

Their mission is preventing climate change.

25. Started to watch another flash mob at Flinders Street Station.

This is one in which people freeze.



It's interesting.

I think it would be more effective seeing it live.

Some of it seemed a bit far-fetched.  There were people playing Twister in the middle of the station.  Does that really happen?

Maybe....it does in Australia.
 
26. Watched another video of the frozen Australians.




I think this one was much more effective.  I even got a little bit of the goosebumps.

I still don't understand the Twister game.

27. Bombarded by Jack with questions about One Night the Moon.   He brought it up because he saw I was reading a book called The Girl Who Chased the Moon.  One thing reminded him of the other.

He asked me to sing the title song from One Night the Moon. 

I did that.

Well, I sang a line or two.  

Then I told him about Rachel Perkins, the director of the movie.  I told him about the documentary she made...The First Australians.   

I also told him about Paul Kelly—how he was in the movie and how he is also the one who sings "From Little Things Big Things Grow".

28. Remembered that Rachel Perkins made a movie with Deborah Mailman.   I don't remember the name offhand.  It involved cremation.  I saw only a few clip, but I liked what I saw.

I'll go find it.

29. Found it.

It's called Radiance. 

And while I was looking for that, I saw Rachel Perkins also made Bran Nue Dae.

I totally forgot she made that.

Deborah Mailman is in that as well.

30. Watched clip from Radiance.  I think it's the cremation scene. 

No....that's not the scene.

Here's the scene. 

31. Disgusted with story about man in Sydney who incited his pit bull to attack four people. 

It's like the guy in Ohio. I was totally obsessing over the story yesterday.

At first I was angry at the police for shooting the animals. But the more I read about it, I couldn't really think of a better option.

I AM disturbed by imagining that some of the police might have enjoyed the thrill of hunting the animals.  But I'm hoping most are sad and regretful about what happened.

Anyway, I put the blame on the horrible criminal who selfishly kept the animals and selfishly released them before committing suicide. 

I disagree with people who say suicide is selfish.  I don't think it is. But SOME types of suicide are very selfish.  And I would put the Ohio guy in that category.

It's horrible that people are allowed to keep dangerous animals, especially when they have a criminal record.  Supposedly the guy in Ohio had a record, and he had been in trouble previously for animal abuse. Yet he managed to keep all these beautiful and exotic animals.

As for the guy in Sydney, he should never be able to own a pet again. That's for sure.

He purposely put the dogs in harms way by pushing it to attack people. The dog has probably been euthanized by now.

The Sydney guy mistreated both animals and people.

32. Went to Langers8294's YouTube Channel.

And....

I didn't look at much because our internet has turned off.

We're having someone work on it right now, so it's probably going to go off and on. 

33. Got the internet back.

34. Started to watch a video of a guy named Jon making waffles.



I think Langer2894 is filming the ordeal.

I've gotten the idea that waffles are perceived to be an American thing. That's funny, because I think of them as a Belgian thing.

When we were in Hawaii, though, our Aussie friends were excited about our rental house having a waffle maker. They made some comment about it being so American.

Tim and I had never made waffles in our lives.

No wait. I just unintentionally lied. We had made waffles before. At some cheap hotels they have free breakfasts. Sometimes they'll have a waffle mix ready and waffle maker. You can make your own waffles.

But the first time we really did it on our own was in Hawaii.

Then recently I was reading an Australian novel. Some of the characters were talking about waffles or making waffles. When they did this, one of them imitated an American accent.

So...I don't know.

Maybe as Australians ride kangaroos to school, Americans all make waffles with their waffle makers.

35. Saw one of the waffle-cooking Australians pick something up with his foot.

I do that sometimes.

Read my novel: The Dead are Online 

I Didn't Have To Wait

Guess what.

I got to see The King's Speech tonight.  I loved it.  Geoffrey Rush is now my favorite Australian...celebrity.  I think he and Jaclyn Moriarty top my list right now.

What happened is Tim emailed my parents to tell them that he saw True Grit.  They had seen it, and I think it pleases them when we see that type of film....you know award-nominated stuff (vs stuff like Harry Potter and Spiderman)  So Tim shared that news with them.  They replied by saying, okay that's good, but now you gotta see The King's Speech.  

I said okay, and they offered to babysit.

Geoffrey Rush plays an Australian in the movie.  I didn't expect that. I assumed he'd be British. 

Lord Wiki has an entry on the guy.  Lionel Logue.  I'll have to read it and see what in the movie was true.

You know.  Now that I think of it.....we DID see another award-winning type movie.  The Social Network.  I loved that movie but then learned about 75% of it was a lie.  Now I'm a bit skeptical about movies based on true stories.

Anyway.  Let's read about Lionel Logue.

He was born in Adelaide. 

Lord Wiki says his dad was a clerk.  The movie says he worked in a brewery.  Maybe he was a clerk in a brewery?  Maybe he was a clerk at some point, and a brewery person later? 

Lionel Logue worked in a gold mine at some point. Interesting.

Lord Wiki says that Logue became a spiritualist after his wife died.  I guess maybe he tried to talk to her?  Alfred Deakin was a Spiritualist.   Right? 

Wow.   I just googled Alfred Deakin and Spiritualist to confirm if I was right or not. I found this whole interview regarding his spiritual life.  Did I read this when I wrote about Deakin? I can't remember.  I'm going to have to read it (or read it again) later.  

Oh!  The Australian biography dictionary website has a page about Lionel Logue. I haven't been to that site in so long. I've missed it.  I just added it to my list of Aussie websites to stalk.   

Like Portia De Rossi, Logue lost his Aussie accent. 

Really.  What is it with Australians losing their accents?  

If I can manage to keep my damn American accent, they can manage to keep their Australian accent.  

Logue was a Christian Scientist.

I feel bad saying Logue, because in the movie he was really into calling people by their first names.   I should call him Lionel.

You know. I was going to do a quick post, but I'm mildly obsessed with now.  I'm going to go more into depth. FIRST though.....I gotta feed Mu Shu and Max.  I'll be right back.

See you soon, Lionel......

I'm back.

Let's look at the life of Lionel.

His mother's maiden name was Rankin. So if you're an Australian, and your last name is Rankin....you MIGHT be related to Logue.  Same goes for Rankin people NOT living in Australia (because family members don't always live in the same country). Logue folks might be related as well.

Lionel went to Prince Alfred College.   

Who was Prince Alfred?  Was he related to King George VI?  Probably.  

I need a royal family tree.

Oh good. Lord Wiki has one.

It's a bit too complicated for me to understand.     So...never mind.

Lionel and his lovely wife got married at St. George's Cathedral in Perth.  Why not a Christian Scientist Church?  Maybe his wife was Anglican?

Lionel did some teaching work at Scotch College with the Young Men's Christian Association.I guess that's Scotch College in Melbourne.  The guy moved around a lot.  Adelaide, Perth, Melbourne, London.....

He also did some teaching at Perth Technical School.

As said in the movie, Lionel worked with shell-shocked soldiers during World War I.

He later helped King George VI with his speech problem. The movie said that too.

Lionel Logue was one of the founders of the Royal College of Speech and Language Therapists.     The organization's website has a letter to the king from Lionel.

Logue and the King died sort of around the same time.  The king died in 1952, and Logue died in 1953. I wonder if Logue tried to talk to King George VI after he died.  I mean not when Logue died, but when the king died. Maybe Lionel applied his spiritualism beliefs to the king. AFTER Lionel died, he probably did chat with George VI/Bertie.  

This paranormal website has an article about Lionel Logue and his spirituality.  It says that Lionel consulted with a medium named Lillian Bailey.   

The paranormal website says that, as a token of his gratitude, King George VI gave Lionel Logue a fancy chair.  Then later Logue gave the chair to Bailey.

Yeah.  I know.  I'm having trouble sticking to the first name thing. Sorry, Lionel.  Do you hear me out there?  If you do, I hope you like the movie they made about you?  Are you able to watch movies where you are?

The guy on the paranormal website is unhappy with the fact that they left the spiritualism bit out of the movie.  I can sympathize.  I'm bothered that they left the Dursley scene out of The Deathly Hallows.  I'll be VERY upset if they leave the Snape stuff out of part 2. 

I feel a little bit in love right now.  I'm not sure though if it's Geoffrey Rush I'm loving or Lionel Logue. Maybe a little of both?  Oh, and then there's Helena Bonham Carter as well. She is so damn fantastic. 


I better end this.  I want to read about Alfred Deakin and his spirituality.   

Errol Flynn

I think most American adults know who Errol Flynn is, but I don't think most of us know he was Australian. Or maybe they do. I didn't, until a year or so ago.

I don't know much about the guy, besides the fact that he was from Tasmania and became a Hollywood actor. I think I remember hearing he was a bit wild. Maybe he was a womanizer? A party animal?

I think he was in a Robin Hood movie.

There's that saying...in like Flynn. I can't remember if it's an American or Australian saying.

Well, I guess I shall begin.

Baby Errol was born in Hobart, Tasmania on 20 June 1909. Tim and I got married on that date, ninety years later.

Daddy Flynn was a biologist at the University of Tasmania. Theodore Thomson Flynn had some celebrity of his own, at least enough to warrant some discussion in the Australian Dictionary of Biography. His wife, and Errol's mom, was a descendant of one of the Bounty mutineers. I guess that would make Errol a descendant as well. Lord Wiki disagrees with the Australian Dictionary of Biography. He says that evidence shows that Flynn is NOT a descendant of the Bounty mutineers.

Who is right here? Who is wrong?

Here's something interesting. Mommy and Daddy Flynn got married five months before Errol popped out of the oven. I'm guessing it was a bit of a shutgun wedding.

At some point, the family moved to Sydney. They lived at McLean Avenue in Chatswood. I'm going to look for it on Google Maps.

Now I'm looking a Street View. McLean looks like a fairly typical Australian street. One of the houses has a belly dancing school.

I just zoomed out to get a sense of where Chatswood is in the scheme of things. It's North Sydney, in between Parramatta and Manly.

Flynn went to the Sydney Church of England Grammar School. He was classmates with Prime Minister John Gorton. Although John Gorton wasn't Prime Minister yet. Wouldn't that be cute...a Prime Minister still in high school?

Flynn was a bit of a bad boy. He was expelled from the school, and Lord Wiki says he was also expelled from schools in Tasmania. There were allegations that he had sex with the school laundress. Wow.

In his early twenties, Flynn moved to New Guinea, and did tobacco farming. That venture was a failure. He tried copper mining, and this failed too.

In the 1930's, Flynn went off to England. And that's when his acting career began. He did theater stuff in England.

I think I'm going to use Lord Wiki for the film career stuff. Flynn's filmography on IMDb looks very overwhelming. I'll still use it as a source though. I guess I'll go back and forth.

Flynn's first movie was an Australian film called In the Wake of the Bounty.

IMDb weighs in on the descendant issue as well. They say that Flynn claimed to be a direct descendant of the character he plays in the movie (Fletcher Christian). But in reality, he was a descendant of another character in the movie, Edward Young.

This website has information about Young. They say he was popular with the women. Maybe that trait is one that's inherited.

YouTube has part of In the Wake of the Bounty. I'm going to keep it on in the background as I write.

In 1934, Flynn did a British movie called Murder at Monte Carlo. Lord Wiki says that one is now considered a lost film. That's sad. I've lost screenplays and novels. If I really tried hard, I might be able to find some on old floppy disks. I'm not sure I'd be able to read the files though. It's kind of sad when stuff like that happens.

It was during the filming of Murder at Monte Carlo that Flynn was discovered by American film scouts. Flynn migrated to the United States, and by 1942, he was a citizen.

In 1935, Flynn had a very small part in an American Perry Mason film called The Case of the Curious Bride. The IMDb trivia page says Flynn had less than two minutes screen time, and for part of it, he was a corpse.

Lord Wiki says that Flynn's first big movie was Captain Blood. This came out in 1935. My grandparents would have been in their late teens back then. I wonder if any of them went to see it.

The movie is classified as a swashbuckler film. I've heard that term before, but wasn't sure exactly what it meant. Lord Wiki says it's an adventurous romantic film, containing lots of sword fighting. The Pirates of the Caribbean, and The Princess Bride would be modern examples.

Captain Blood is a pirate thing. Before Captain Blood was a pirate, he was a doctor. He was convicted for treason because he helped a friend. I guess the king didn't like that friend.

The IMDb trivia page says that Flynn was a prankster. He scared his co-star, Olivia de Havilland by putting a dead snake in her underpants. Is de Havilland the one from Romeo and Juliet?

Nope. I'm wrong about that. She was in Gone with the Wind though. I was thinking that she was, but then I thought....no, that was Vivian Leigh. It turns out that de Havilland was in it too.

There's lots of other trivia here.

Flynn was very nervous in the beginning of the shoot. They had to refilm stuff once he gained confidence.

He and the director would work together many more times. Despite this, they never really liked each other.

Flynn had a romance going on with one of his co-stars, Ross Alexander.

Here are some scenes from Captain Blood. A sword fighting bit begins at 5:47.

In 1936, Flynn was in The Charge of the Light Brigade. It was a war movie. Lord Wiki says that for one of the battle scenes, dozen of horses were killed during filming. This forced the U.S Congress to do something to ensure the safety of animals in movies. That's good. Because of it's disturbing history, the film hasn't been re-released by Warner Bros.

IMDb says that over two-hundred horses were killed.

In 1937, Flynn was in The Prince and the Pauper. Was he the prince, pauper, or neither? I always thought that story involved children switching places.

Yeah. I'm right. Flynn didn't portray one of the switchers. He's the guy who helps the prince get back to the castle.

Here are some scenes from the movie. Flynn does some more sword fighting. This time he battles a whole crowd.

In 1938, Flynn was in The Adventures of Robin Hood. Olivia de Havilland co-starred with him again. The IMDb trivia page says that Flynn privately confessed that he found working on the movie to be boring. I guess the director, at one point, tried to make things more exciting. He instructed an actor, who was to sword fight with Flynn, to take the protective piece off his sword. Flynn was able to feel the difference during the fight, and wasn't too happy with the director.

The movie got an Academy Award nomination, but lost to You Can't Take it With You.

Here's a trailer for The Adventures of Robin Hood.

I'm still torn about whether I should only mention movies that Lord Wiki mentions, or go through all the movies on IMDb.

I'm thinking that what I'll do is mention any of the movies that have clips on YouTube. I like watching scenes from old movies. So, that will be fun.

I'm seeing for a few of these movies, YouTube doesn't have clips of the actual movie, but instead clips of radio performances of the same script. That's pretty interesting, but I'm going to skip those....only because of time restraints.

Flynn and de Havilland did another movie together in 1938. This was a romantic-comedy called Four's a Crowd. It also had that same director (Michael Curtiz)...the one that had allowed Flynn to be stabbed.

Flynn plays a editor of a newspaper.

Here's the beginning of the film. Is that women in the beginning, de Havilland? No, wait. I just watched the credits again. She's Rosalind Russell.

I'm not sure if Flynn is going to be in this. I'm fast-forwarding. Is that him at 2:47? I'm so bad at recognizing faces.

No...that's Patrick Knowles.

Here's Flynn! I found him. His scene begins at around 5:30.

Also in 1938, Flynn did a movie with Bette Davis called The Sisters. The IMDb trivia page says that originally the film titles were to read Errol Flynn in The Sisters. Bette Davis fought for equal billing, AND she pointed out their original wording had a sexual connotation. That's pretty funny.

Here's a trailer for the movie.

I'm not used to seeing Bette Davis looking young. When I think of her, I think of Watcher in the Woods, and Whatever Happened to Baby Jane.

I'm getting the hint that this movie was based on a book; well, the trailer keeps showing pages of a novel.

1938 was really a big year for Flynn. He was also in The Dawn Patrol, a movie about World War I.

Here's the trailer.

Lord Wiki says the movie had an all male cast. He also says that although the movie glorifies war in some ways, it also shows how a commander becomes emotionally scarred from to having to send men to their death. Yeah. I think that would be hard, but also hard to be the man who faces death.

In 1939, Flynn and de Havilland did Dodge City together. And once again, their director was Michael Curtiz. It looks like it's a western.

Here's some scenes from the movie.

I guess that's the black hat villian at 2:19. They're making the barber awfully nervous.

Don't worry. Errol Flynn is a good match for these bullies.


Also in 1939, Flynn teamed up with his two past leading ladies....Bette Davis, AND Olivia de Havilland. This was for a Queen Elizabeth movie called The Private Lives of Elizabeth and Essex.

The IMDb trivia page says the movie was based on a play called Elizabeth the Queen. Flynn had wanted it to change, so it would include mention of his character.

Davis and Flynn didn't like each other. Have I mentioned that before? I forgot. It kind of seems that Flynn had trouble getting along with many people. Anyway, there was a scene in which Queen Elizabeth was supposed to slap the Earl of Essex. Davis took the opportunity to hit Flynn for real.

Here's the trailer. I think the scene beginning at 2:08 is pretty funny.

The infamous slap is at around 2:42.

In 1940, Flynn did another Michael Curtiz film, but this one didn't have Olivia de Havilland. Humphrey Bogart was in it though. It was the western, Virgina City.

Here's the beginning of the movie. I think that's Flynn at 3:50.

Flynn did two other movies in 1940. One was The Sea Hawk, a pirate movie. And again, Flynn was directed by Curtiz. The IMDb trivia page says the film crew saved money by reusing some of the stuff from Elizabeth and Essex. That's cool; it's both economical and green.

Here's the trailer. Claude Rains is in the movie. Who is he again? I'm looking at his filmography. He's been in a ton of stuff. But I think I know him as the Phantom of the Opera.

The other Curtiz and Flynn 1940 movie featured Ronald Reagen. This was Santa Fe Trail.

The movie takes place in the days preceding the Civil War.

Here's the beginning of the movie. I'm guessing the horses in this film were treated with more care.

Both Flynn and Reagen can be seen beginning at 1:27.

In 1941, Flynn and Curtiz did Dive Bomber. Flynn plays a military surgeon who tries to find a way to combat altitude sickness. This is dangerous because it can cause pilots to black out.


Here's the trailer. I'm guessing this movie was war propaganda in some ways. 1941 was the year America joined the war. I'm embarrassed to say I had to look that up. Hey, but at least I know which DECADE the war was in.

Also in 1941, Flynn did another civil war movie; They Died with Their Boots On. I think I've heard the title before.

Ah! This movie was NOT directed by Michael Curtiz. But it did feature Olivia de Havilland. The IMDb trivia page says this was the last film she and Flynn did together.

Here are some scenes.

You know what I've just wondered...whether or not Flynn still had an Australian accent by this point. I know some actors start using the alternate accent off-screen. Did that happen to Flynn, or did he speak Aussie when the camera wasn't rolling?

In 1942, Flynn teamed up with Ronald Reagen again in Desperate Journey. This movie was directed by Raoul Walsh, the same guy who directed They Died with Their Boots On.

Here are some scenes.

Walsh and Flynn also did Gentleman Jim in 1942. This was a boxing movie.

Yikes. The IMDb trivia page says that Flynn had a heart attack while filming. How old was he?

I just played with my calculator. He would have been about thirty-three. That's so young. I wonder if he had a bad heart. Oh, okay. I just read down further. He did have a bad heart, and it's what prevented him from fighting in World War I.

Here's the beginning of the movie. Flynn reminds me of someone. I've been thinking that for awhile, but I can't figure out who I'm thinking about. Maybe I'll figure it out eventually.

I got it! I saw it at 1:37. He looks like....crap, now I forgot the actor's name. He's from Eli Stone and Titanic.

Victor Garber! That's it. I'm going to google, and see if anyone else has noticed this.

No. I'm not easily finding anything about that.

In 1943, Walsh directed Flynn in Northern Pursuit. It's yet another war movie. Here's the trailer. It takes place in Canada, and involves an avalanche.

In 1944, Flynn and Walsh did a movie called Uncertain Glory. I like that title.

The movie takes place during World War II. Flynn plays a French criminal who was about to be executed. But a German raid interrupts, and saves his ass.

Here's the trailer.

The IMDb trivia page says that Flynn received criticism for doing all these war movies. I guess this came from the fact that he played heroes, but avoided fighting in real life. The thing is Flynn TRIED to enlist, but his health kept him out. He saw doing the films as his way of contributing. I think that's a valid position.

In 1945, Flynn and Walsh did Objective, Burma! It's about American men fighting Japanese men in Burma. Here's the trailer.

The IMDb trivia page says the movie had some major controversy. Why? Because in the real Burma thing, it was predominantly a British and Australian operation. Yet, the movie makes it look like it was an American thing. When I read stuff like that, it gives me some sympathy for those Australians who hate Americans. And I don't think this is the only and last time Americans have done something like that.

The next Flynn movie that YouTube has clips of is The Adventures of Don Juan. This came out in 1948, the year my mom was born. The IMDb trivia page says that Raoul Walsh had been scheduled to direct the film, but he and Flynn had a falling out. So, someone else took on the director role.

Here's the trailer for the movie. No, wait....actually, it's a clip. There's sword fighting, so I guess it would be swashbuckling thing.

In 1949, the year my dad was born, Flynn was in That Forsyte Woman. Janet Leigh was in it. This was eleven years before Psycho.

Here's some scenes from That Forsyte Woman. I'm not sure if they're going to show Flynn. Is that him at 1:29?

Yeah, I think it is. I think the character he plays in this is less of a hero than his previous characters.

The dance card bit makes me think of Meet Me in St. Louis.

Oh! Wow! Here we go. In 1950, Errol Flynn played an Australian character. This was in the western Montana.

Here's the trailer. Flynn doesn't really SOUND Australian...at least not yet. Oh now, I'm hearing it. It's kind of subtle....VERY subtle.

Also in 1950, Flynn did the Rudyard Kipling story, Kim. Here's some good trivia. The child who plays the title character is Dean Stockwell, the guy from Quantum Leap.

Here's a clip from the movie. I think that's Flynn at 3:15.

In 1952, Flynn was in Against All Flags. It was another pirate movie.

Maureen O'Hara played the female lead. The IMDb trivia page says Flynn was a pleasure to work with in the mornings. But then he'd drink, and by 4 pm, he was a disaster. It's sad what alcohol can do to some people.

Here's the beginning of the movie.

In 1953, Flynn was in The Master of Ballantrae. It's based on a novel by Robert Louis Stevenson. Here's the trailer. It's a brother against brother thing....but don't forget the romance!

From 1956-1957, Flynn hosted a British TV show called The Errol Flynn Theatre. Here's a clip from the show. I can hear a slight Australian accent.

In 1958, Flynn did a movie directed by John Huston. This was The Roots of Heaven. Orson Wells was in it. It's about people trying to save elephants; a bit of an animal rights film.

Here's the beginning of the movie. It shows how even fifty years ago, people were concerned about conservation issues. I don't think Flynn is in that clip. Let's try part 2 I'm not seeing Flynn yet, but I'm liking the scene around 6:30. It shows a bully inferring that the elephant savior is crazy. There are those in the world who stand up and defend the powerless. And then there are those that ridicule those who stand up to defend the powerless. It's nice that the world has roles for everybody.

Is that Flynn at 8:21? I think it is.

Flynn did his last movie in 1959. It was called Cuban Rebel Girls. And Flynn didn't just act in it. He wrote the screenplay. Flynn plays a guy who helps Castro overthrow the government. Castro gave Flynn permission to make the film in Cuba.

Here's the beginning of the movie.

Now I'm going to read Flynn's trivia page on IMDb.

His career ended in 1959 because he died in 1959.

He was quite a womanizer, even to the point of being accused of statutory rape.

If I'm counting right, he had six kids. And he had three wives. The third marriage began in 1950, and lasted until his death.

One his daughters did stunt work on Poltergeist II. I used to love that movie.

One of his sons did some film work, but then became a photojournalist during the Vietnam War. He disappeared.

The in like Flynn saying comes from the statutory rape case.

While Flynn was on trial, he started chatting with the woman who worked at the courtroom snack bar. She'd end up becoming his second wife.

Oh! Now I see why Americans might not know Flynn was Australian. Warner Bros. tried to pass him off as being from Ireland. That's pretty funny.

This is sad. Flynn had a yacht, and loved it. But he ran into financial difficulties, and had to sell it. It was around this time that he had a massive heart attack, and died.

His addiction wasn't only to alcohol. He also had a relationship with opium.

A biographer in the 1980's alleged that Flynn was a Nazi sympathizer. Later biographers say this wasn't true. IMDb says he was politically left, and he did support Fidel Castro. Well, I could tell that from his last movie.

I'm reading through more stuff here. Basically, Flynn had really horrible health. Some of it was stuff he was probably born with, and then other stuff came from lifestyle choices.

I'm back to reading Lord Wiki stuff now. Various actors have portrayed Flynn in movies. Here's Jude Law in The Aviator. Here's a scene. Law gives Flynn an Australian accent. I'm going to guess that Flynn had one then. The Aviator makers probably did their research.

The movie My Favorite Year was inspired by Flynn.

Well, THIS is timely. I just looked at Google News. An article just came out today saying that Queensland travelers think they have found the body of Earl Flynn's son. That's the one that disappeared during the Vietnam War.

Sean Flynn looks like his dad. He also looks a lot like my brother-in-law Fred.

It's believed that Flynn was beaten to death after digging his own grave. That's really sad. How can people be so cruel?

I'm going to see if there's any more interesting videos to watch.....

Here's Flynn on the game show What's My Line. Flynn's laugh is a bit strange. He seems nervous. Oh....I got it. He's disguising his voice.

Here's a clip from a documentary about Flynn. In this part, they're talking about Robin Hood. The movie cost 2 million to make, which was very expensive in those days. This website says that an average house cost around $4000 dollars in 1938. So for the cost of the film, they could have bought about five hundred houses. Yeah, so that is a lot.

Oh. There was a soap opera going on backstage. Flynn was pursuing de Havilland, even though he was already married to someone else. Like many men in that situation, he assured Havilland that he would be soon divorcing his wife. The marriage was close-to-over. Havilland told him they shouldn't see each other until that happened.

Then one day, Flynn brought his wife on the set. The marriage, to Havilland, didn't look like something that would soon end. Poor Havilland. She sought a unique form of revenge. They had a kissing scene, and she purposely made mistakes, so the kissing would have to be done several times. And as she delicately puts it, Errol Flynn got really rather uncomfortable, and he had , if I may say so, a little trouble with his tights. You know, sometimes I think it would be horribly embarrassing to be a man, cause sometimes you just can't hide stuff. Women have to worry about period accidents though, so I guess we're even.

Anyway, I think I'm done for now.

Edited to add-10/1/2024: Thanks to any criticizing comment a few months ago, I've been slowly reading Flynn's autobiography.  I read a little bit on most days.

Today I read something that resonates with me, because it's something I've argued about.

On Page 204, Flynn writes:

I have always resented that the artist should be relegated by the politician to a place with no voice in political or human affairs. The politician and even the press seem to feel that the artist should have a lesser voice than others in public affairs.

It is a little unfair of the world and its leaders to think that we who entertain are marionettes to be tossed about at the end of their string and to be told to do and say what (hey think we should do and say. Authority and philosophy and truth reside in their hands. Ours to entertain; not to reason why - just let (them continue to make the mess of the world which they have made.

In the history of man the entertainer has often achieved a position in the public mind that perhaps is or is not deserving. He has a stature that in many cases has put him apart from politics and in many cases has pul him into politics. Spartacus, a gladiator of ancient Rome, led a revolt of slaves. History still remembers it.

Paderewski, the pianist, became a leader of Poland. Chaliapin could certainly, if he’d wanted to, have had nearly as big a voice as Trotsky in the Russian revolution, but he chose to remain an artist. I am quite sure that if Will Rogers had wanted to run for high office he would have secured it.

In my case, curiosity is a sickness. It gets me into all my troubles and experiences. It got me into Spain and more recently into the Cuban situation. I am quite capable of doing my own thinking and my own living and I don’t need somebody somewhere running some jerk organisation to tell me what is right and wrong and 

where my province ends and his begins. My province as a human is the same as yours: it’s the world.

I'll admit that it was easier to hold this opinion when most artists and I were on the same side of world  issues.  But I will try to keep on holding this opinion.  Because no matter what...I believe it's the right one to have.   

Edited to add 2/19/25- I dreamed about Errol Flynn last night; that we were friends. Or almost friends.  I told him I loved him, and I loved his book, and I wanted to read more books like his.  He recommended three books to me.  I was taking it in a more casual way but then realized I should be writing the books down.  I struggled to hear/understand the first author.  He spelled it for me but was too fast, and I couldn't write it down.  I was embarrassed and intimidated to ask him to repeat it....repeatedly. I mean I might have asked him once; still didn't get it and didn't have the nerve to ask again.

His appearance in my dream didn't come out of left field.  I'm still reading his autobiography.  I read two pages a day, so it's taking me quite awhile to get through it.

In today's reading I read another passage that I liked a lot:

The screen-writer is in about the same position as the actor. As you know, the writer is hard put to it to recognise his own work It is the same HMth the actor. A screenplay is never, regardless of what anybody tells you, the work of one man. It is hashed, rehashed, rewritten. The actors change the lines. So does the director on the set. The final cutting and editing is in the hands of the producer. The actoi may have a bit more prerogative than the writer in so much that he if he is in a position, and given the material, to do so - can give his own interpretation of it.

But film-making is not solo work - like doing a novel, or playing the violin at Carnegie Hall, or writing a poem, or being your own exclusive creator - in so much as it is anyone's perquisite to be entirely himself. It is an assembly-line operation.

• The effect this has on you is that you always feel you could have done better if - if you had been left alone, if you had worked harder, if you had been more artistic - a constant series of ifs, which leads to regret.

These past several months I have wondered (with regret) if I would have been a successful writer/creator if I hadn't been so solo about it...if I had collaborated with others. Because I have often kept my distance from other creators. Or at least I hadn't reached out enough.  

The past few days, though, I have considered that maybe I've been too hard on myself and that the reason I went solo is because I'm not great at socializing and/or getting people to like me.  And when I have been social and connected fairly well to others, they've often not been fellow creators/writers.

Or maybe some of them were but less into creating fiction?

I think my most happy social-time with other writers was around 2000 on American Zoetrope.  I have regretted not staying involved there.  Though I can't remember any talks or offers of collaboration.

I wonder if I had ever done something collaborative...would I have had the type of regrets that Flynn talks of?  I guess if, in that universe, WE had been unsuccessful...I might be sitting there thinking...if only I hadn't wasted time with them and instead worked solo.  

Another scenario I just imaged: I write a screenplay and then it gets worked on by other writers.  It ends up being very wonderful and successful.  But the praised parts come from the other writers...though I still get credit and paid.  I think I'd be somewhat ashamed and often feeling the need to confess that I don't really deserve the praise, because it wasn't me who did the great stuff, blah, blah, blah.  

Read my novel: The Dead are Online 

Heath Ledger

I don't know where to begin.

I added Heath Ledger to my list on a day I was feeling brave...probably knowing it would be months before I got to him. So why worry?

Now I'm feeling less brave.

Last night I cried in bed thinking about him.

I'm being awfully melodramatic.

I know.

And I didn't even give the guy much thought before he died.

I remember the day he died, though. I went with Jack to our friend's house. I managed to have fun and be sociable even though I was pretty depressed. When I got home, I checked my email. There was one of those CNN breaking news things. I opened it and saw that Ledger had died. I felt like I had been punched in the face.

My reaction probably came from being obsessed with Australia and being incredibly holiday-sick for Australia. But there was also some slightly eerie stuff surrounding it all. That probably weirded me out a bit.

I think his death increased my depression, especially when I read about the awful Westboro Baptist church getting involved. I couldn't understand why people would be so horribly cruel.

Anyway, before he died I hadn't seen much of Ledger's work. I think I had seen only The Patriot.

Later after Heath Ledger died, I saw Ten Things I Hate about You which I thought was darling. And I saw most of The Dark Knight.

I think I also saw bits and pieces of other things. I'm sure my memory will be refreshed as I do the research.

I'm going to try to concentrate more on his life rather than his death. I feel I've already read so much about his death and funeral. I don't know if I want to go back there. We'll see.....

I guess I'll go have my morning date with Lord Wiki.....

Ledger was born on 4 April 1979.

Birthday website time!

He is an Aries like my awesome brother-in-law.

He's a 7 like me. The 7 is all about learning. We want to KNOW things.

Ledger was born in Perth. I knew that.

His mother was a French teacher.

I'm all confused about whether to use past tense or present tense.

Dead people grammar confuses me.

If I say his mother IS a French teacher, it sounds like Ledger is still alive. If I say his mother WAS a French teacher, it sounds like she's no longer teaching.

I really don't know what to do.

I guess I'll try my best.

His dad was/is a race car driver and a mining engineer. The family owned something called Ledger Engineering Foundry. I'm guessing that was owned by Daddy Ledger's family? 
Little Heath went to Mary Mount's Primary School in Gooseberry Hill. Gooseberry Hill. That is so cute. It sound like the setting of a children's book.

I'm going to look it up on Google Maps....of course.

Gooseberry Hill is about twenty minutes east of Perth airport. According to Lord Wiki, the town is known for a plane crash that happened in 1945.

Ledger also went to Guildford Grammar School. It was here that he had one of his first acting experiences. He starred in the school's production of Peter Pan when he was ten. How cute. I love Peter Pan.

Ledger's parents divorced about a year later. I didn't realize they were divorced. Maybe I knew and forgot, though.

Lord Wiki explains his sibling situation. It's a big confusing. I think he has one full sister. That's Kate. Then there are half-siblings as well. I think it's two half sisters; one from his father and one from his mother. All right. Well, that's not too confusing.

Ledger played chess. He won a junior championship when he was ten. Wow, that was a big age for Ledger. He stars in a play. He wins a chess championship. Oh and this is also when his parents separated.

Lord Wiki says when Ledger was an adult, he'd sometimes play Chess in Washington Square Park. We saw the chess stuff when we lived in NYC. I mean I don't think we saw Ledger playing, but we saw other people playing. I remember the chess shops around there too. They had all kinds of cool chessboards. When we went back to visit there on holidays, Jack and I would look at the shop windows.

I'm thinking Ledger was a pretty intelligent guy.

He graduated at the age of sixteen. Then he and his friend drove from Perth to Sydney. I bet that was a fun adventure.

In 1992, he returned to Perth to have a small role in a show called Clowning Around. Ernie Dingo was in it! Ledger played an orphaned clown.

All right. Something is wrong with Lord Wiki's information here. If Ledger graduated high school when he was sixteen, that would put the year at 1995 not 1992. IMDb agrees with Lord Wiki...that the movie was made in 1992. I'm guessing that's correct. I think what must be false is the idea that Ledger did the movie after he graduated. It sounds kind of weird anyway. Why would he travel all the way to Sydney and then rush back to get a small uncredited role in a movie? I mean I know actors can get desperate, but that just doesn't seem worth it.

I think he came back for something else.  Another project. It could be this thing called Sweat; a TV show in which Ledger played a gay cyclist.

It looks like the show was on for only one year. There was twenty-six episodes, and I think Ledger was in all of them. Here's a clip from the show. Unfortunately, it's dubbed in Spanish, and I have no idea what they're saying.

Ledger was on other shows as well.

He had parts in a series called Ship to Shore. He played a cyclist again. Aaron Jeffries from McLeod's Daughters was one of the stars. Jeffries played a character named Nick which is funny because in McLeod's Daughters that was the name of his brother.

In 1997 Ledger was on a show called Roar. Oh! He was actually the star of this one. It was an American TV show. I can't say I remember the show at all. It was produced by Shaun Cassidy who once sang this song.

He had a part in Home and Away. He played Scott Irwin, a student accused of cheating. Sometimes I feel as if all Australian actors have been on that show. No. I know that's not true. It just sometimes SEEMS that way.

Ledger was in a movie called Blackrock. The title makes me think of Lost. It looks like Ledger had a pretty small role in that...unless the actors are listed by order of appearance. You know who else is in that movie? Jessica Napier from McLeod's Daughters. I'm wondering if Heath Ledger has worked with everyone in the cast of that show at some point? You know.....I just realized something. I think I dreamed about McLeod's Daughters last night. It was about Jessica Napier's character Becky learning to box, and that guy who was interested in her when Brick went missing.

In 1999, Ledger starred in Ten Things I Hate About You. I guess he would have been about twenty at the time. In that same year, he starred in an Australian comedy about crime called Two Hands.

Okay, now I'm moving onto the 2000's.

The year 2000 is when The Patriot was released. I remember Tim and I saw that in a theater. This was when we often went to movies. Now we rarely go. Although I think we're actually going to see a movie tonight. The three of us are might see Up.

Ledger was in a movie called Monster's Ball. That sounds slightly familiar. It looks VERY interesting.  At least the plot does. It's about a racist prison guard who ends up falling in love with an African-American woman. She's played by Halle Berry. Is this the movie she won an Oscar for?

Okay. Yes. It is. I feel so ignorant these days when it comes to movies.

Ledger was in a Knight's Tale in 2001. I've seen bits from that film.

There was The Four Feathers in 2002. I don't think I've ever heard of that. Ledger is pretty low down in the credits so I'm guessing he didn't have a huge part in it. Although his face is on the movie poster, so I don't know.....

Wait. Lord Wiki has him as the star of the film. I guess I'll trust Lord Wiki here and assume IMDb is listing in order of appearance or something. Nope. I'm wrong. They've listed their cast alphabetically. Oops. My mistake.

In 2003, Ledger was in The Order and Ned Kelly. I've seen bits of the latter. I don't think I've heard of the Order.

Ah. The Order sounds like something I might like. Religious horror. I sometimes love those types of films.

In 2005, Ledger was in four movies.

There was Casanova which I've never heard of. No. Wait. I think I've heard of it. I might have even seen part of it. I think I might have gotten that movie confused with First Knight.

He was in The Brothers Grimm. I think I wanted to see that but have never gotten around to it. That's the one that's directed by Terry Gillian, right? Have any of you seen it? Is it good? Stupid? Gilliam made two of my favorite movies: The Fisher King and Twelve Monkeys.

The third movie is a skateboarding movie called Lords of Dogtown. It doesn't really seem like my type of thing.

And then there was Brokeback Mountain. I need to see that movie someday. It was directed by Ang Lee. I used to love his movie The Wedding Banquet.

Brokeback Mountain earned Ledger awards and nominations. He won an award from the New York Film Critics Circle. For the Golden Globes and Oscars, he was nominated but didn't win. Who ended up winning?   Philip Seymor Hoffman did...at least for the Oscars. I'm too lazy to check the Golden Globes.

Anyway, it doesn't matter whether he won or not. Getting nominated is an honor in itself. And it seems the critics adored him.

After Brokeback Mountain, Ledger starred in an Australian movie about heroin called Candy. It doesn't sound like something I'd like. I rarely like drug movies.

Then more recently he was in that Bob Dylan movie. I'm Not There. I usually don't like musician bio pics, but this one seems a bit intriguing. Different actors play Bob Dylan. I guess they each represent a different part of his life. Here's a Ledger scene from the movie. He has such a beautiful sexy voice; whether he's doing an American or Australian accent.

And then came The Dark Knight in which Ledger played a psychopath.

He won awards for that movie.

Before his death, he had completed work in another Terry Gilliam film called The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus.

I remember hearing about that movie. Whatever happened to it? Was it ever finished?

I have vague memories of reading that they thought of using one actor for part of the film and then switching to another actor.

Okay. Yes! That's what they did. But it was actually four actors: Ledger, Johnny Depp, Jude Law, and Colin Farrel. That's quite a cast. I need to see this movie. Christoper Plummer is in it too. Wow.

The movie hasn't come out yet. I didn't miss it. I hope it's good. It sounds like it has a lot of potential.

Lord Wiki says Ledger wanted to get into directing. He did some music videos.

Here's something sad. He wanted to make a documentary about a singer named Nick Drake. Drake died at the age of twenty-six from an overdose of antidepressants. Ledger wasn't that much older when he died. And I think he died from an overdose of prescription medication as well. Maybe he was attracted to Drake's story, because there was part of him that knew the same thing was going to happen to him.

Now Lord Wiki talks about his controversial relationship with the paparazzi. He had problems with the ones in Sydney. That surprised me because I always thought they were more tame than the American ones. But Lord Wiki says things were so bad that he got up and moved to NYC.

There were rumors that Ledger spit on some reporters. He denied this. Then some reporters got their revenge by squirting him with water guns on the red carpet. All that sounds fairly silly and tame to me. Spitting and squirting. Although sometimes it's not the action that hurts but the intent and emotions behind the action.

Ledger giggled when presenting Brokeback Mountain as a nominated film. People got on his case about that; thinking he was making fun of the movie. No. He just had some stage fright/nervousness. I totally believe him, because I sometimes giggle when I'm nervous.

All right. Now onto Ledger's sleep problems. Oh shit. I can relate to the insomnia stuff. Fortunately, I don't have a chronic problem. But he talks about taking sleep medicine, and it not helping. I had a night in April 2007 where I didn't sleep AT all. Unlike Ledger, I didn't take any strong sleeping medicine. I just took Benadryl and something else fairly innocent...maybe cough medicine? I think I actually had a respiratory thing going on, so I had an excuse to take that stuff. These past few weeks, I had a lot of problems sleeping. I slept about 2-4 hours on some nights...even with Benadryl.

I hate insomnia.

It makes me feel like crap during the day, and since it usually happens when I'm anxious or depressed, I end up feeling even worse. Plus, I love my dreams, so insomnia makes me feel really cheated.

Anyway, it turns out Ledger too had a respiratory thing happening. And he couldn't sleep. I think the difference between him and me is he took stronger and more dangerous drugs. I didn't. I've always been weary of drugs, and I'm even more so after Ledger died.

This story makes me feel even more negative towards psychiatric drugs. This poor guy was so messed up. And what do people do for him? They give him drugs and more drugs. Obviously it didn't help. He just felt he had to take more and more drugs.

I feel so incredibly sad for him.

All right. The rest of Lord Wiki is about his death and all that. I'm not going to go into it. I might want to read more about what LED to his death, but I'm tired of hearing about the other stuff.

I'm going to read his Enough Rope interview. I've seen part of it on YouTube. Ledger looks incredibly uncomfortable to me...nervous or maybe drugged? He avoids looking at the camera. Maybe he's simply feeling shy. OR maybe the poor guy is just TIRED.

The interview was done in 2003. Ledger talks about not ever being invited to the Oscars. He doesn't claim not to care or dislike these types of events. He says he'd like to go. Well, I guess a few years later he was invited.

He talks about how he lives a fairly normal life. He raised two puppies. He makes lasagna. He cleans his house. That sounds like fun.  Sort of. Puppies take a lot of work. My sister got a puppy. Now she has a human baby. Guess which one was more of a challenge for her?

Yeah. That's why I have cats.

Denton and Ledger attended the same school but not at the same time.

Ledger did choreography for the school.

He says he remembers his second year birthday. Wow! That's a very early memory.

His birthday cake came out. Ledger was all excited and then his cousin rudely blew out the candles for him.

Denton and Ledger talk about the Ned Kelly movie. There were rumors that Ledger purposely rented an apartment overlooking the Melbourne jail. But Ledger says that's not true. It did overlook the jail, but Ledger didn't know that when he got the apartment. One of his co-stars pointed it out to him. Ledger, says from his apartment, he could see Kelly's final walk and the place where he was hanged.

Ledger talks about the war in Iraq. He was very much against it. Denton asks if people have warned him that he's risking his career by being outspoken. Ledger says: Yeah, but at the end of the day, what am I going to blow? My career? At the end of the day, my career is so insignificant in this…this war. It just is, and I'm willing to lose a few jobs over it.

I like that. Sometimes we have to risk our relationships and reputation to stand up for what we believe in. It reminds me of lyrics from Wicked.

Too long I've been afraid of
Losing love - I guess I have lost
Well, if that's love
It comes at much too high a cost

Those are lyrics I need to tattoo to my brain. I need to say them when I rise up in the morning and go to bed at night.

This website has a transcript of an interview with Ledger from The Sydney Star Observer.

It was done in 2006, and is about Brokeback Mountain.
 
Ledger says he found leaflets attached to the scrip warning that the film was risky and controversial. His opinion of the script was: What I was left with once that all disappeared was this incredible story and one of the most beautiful screenplays I’ve ever read. And an opportunity to play this incredibly complex, lonely man. And so I was really excited.  I didn’t find it risky. Whether or not it’s controversial I think is completely relative to the person you are, and I never found the subject controversial, nor should it be.
 
Amen to that. Will we ever live in a time where homosexuality isn't controversial? I doubt it, but I hope I'm wrong.

You know. I was just having my own prejudices. I started thinking how weird it would be to be a man doing romantic sexual things with another man....I mean if you're not gay. But what about all the homosexual actors who play heterosexuals? They're pretty much in the same boat. 

Maybe what's harder is having an onscreen relationship with someone you actually ARE attracted to. I think one of the hardest things would be kissing someone you have a crush on--pretending for the film that you're in love with them. But at the same time you try to hide that you really have feelings for them....I mean if they were already in a relationship with someone else, and/or you knew they had no interest in you. And wouldn't that be hard as well? What if you were in love with your co-star and he had no feelings for you? But in your scenes together, he acted like he was madly in love?

I'm not quite sure I could handle any of that. No wonder actors are such emotionally messed up people.

Ledger says this which is made even more poignant by what happened after his death.... it does disappoint me that there are still people in this world who go out of their way to protest and express disgust over the way in which two people choose to love one another. Why aren’t they using all that energy to go out and protest the ways in which two people would express anger and violence toward each other? I don’t know, it baffles me. It’s just really immature I think at the end of the day.
 
I think immature is an understatement. I'd prefer to call it pathologically disgusting and evil.

I think it's bad enough that there are people out there who go out of their way to protest homosexuality. But to want to go to the funeral of Ledger and say nasty things about him in front of his family and friends....that's inexcusable.

Why are there such horrible people in the world?

I wonder what's worse, though. People who loudly protest against the love of others, or people who stand silently as violence, hatred, and/or abuse occurs right in front of them.

I guess to me they're both pretty awful.

Oh. I think I totally love Ledger. I love what he says here about whether he asked for help from gay friends in playing the character.

I don’t have to go out and find out how to play gay, because I think that’s what the problem is – labels. I don’t think it’s as black and white as that. I think sexuality is a continuum and it was about just playing a human being who’s in love with another man. It is a gay story because it’s between two men, but it was important to have him just as a human being, filled out with human flaws and faults, and let the story carry.

At the end of the film, Ledger talks about synchronosity. It's very sweet and romantic. He says, The amount of synchronicity that has come from this one choice, one day, just deciding to do this movie. And now I have just the two most beautiful girls in the world, who I fall deeper and deeper in love with daily.
 
It's amazing to look at our children and think about the small and/or big choices we made that led to them being born. I like to think of all the experiences that led me to marrying Tim, and how that all led to us having Jack. And I think almost all parents have stories like that.

Here's a disturbing blog entry about Heath Ledger and insomnia. It talks as well about other celebrities who have died from insomnia related causes.

The author of the post says In my research on insomnia, I have spoken to quite a few people who told me that they had reached a point at which they just didn't care, they'd do anything to sleep.

I fortunately have not yet reached that point. My recent insomnia was due to being upset and stressed. As soon as I worked out my feelings, and had a somewhat healthier attitude towards what happened, I was able to sleep. But even in those few days, the insomnia was horrible. I can't say I wouldn't become desperate if it lasted longer.

The blogger talks about how people believe that insomnia is a symptom of depression and anxiety. But it could be the other way around. Insomnia may CAUSE depression and anxiety. In my case, it usually works in a more circular way. I'm depressed or anxious. Then I get insomnia and it makes the depression and anxiety even worse.

The blogger talks about how we gloat at the death of these celebrities sometimes; or at least declare that they deserve their demise. They were wild and reckless. But the blogger says, Maybe it satisfies our sense of drama to see their ends as somehow fitting -- spectacular endings to spectacular lives, poetic justice, the price of fame. But probably some of them were just trying to get to sleep.

This is a really powerful blog post. The blogger says, But the stigma attached to this disorder -- that it's neurosis or psychopathology or a condition we bring on ourselves -- makes many of us choose to quietly increase our dosage rather than reach out to seek help.

Stigmas....bringing it on ourselves. It's really hard to have a psychological/medical condition that people don't take seriously. It's hard to call out for help and feel like you're not truly heard. It's hard to feel like total shit inside. Sometimes people become desperate. They might take drugs. They might drink. They might cut themselves. In my case, I returned to my eating disorder. I feel ashamed about that, but at times it feels like the only thing I can do to keep myself from falling into a deep dark hole. It's bad, but at least eating disorders are SLOWLY destructive. I can make bad choices, but there's hope that I can pull myself out of it. With drugs, one desperate mistake and/or wrong choice might bring death a few hours later.

After reading about Ledger, I am going to vow never to go on any type of strong sleeping medication or sedative. It would just be too easy to get incredibly upset and make a rash stupid decision.....or just get DESPERATE and make the wrong decision.

I don't know.

I think we should stop drugging people so much and instead find other ways of helping people with their problems.

Or maybe not.

Maybe there's no solution.

A lot of people talk about mental illness as simply another medical disease. You're sick. Don't be ashamed. Just take this medication, and you'll start getting better.

I don't deny that there are biological and genetic components to depression, insomnia, anxiety, eating disorders, and addiction. But I believe it's MUCH more complicated than that.

The world is too painful. There's way too much shitty meanness. Some of us can cope with it. Some of us can't. We in the latter group sometimes turn to bad stuff that makes us feel better; that allows us to deal with everything.

I'm lucky in that my problems come and go. My life isn't THAT bad. I have more good days than bad. On the bad days, I sometimes deal with things by making unhealthy decisions and having unhealthy thoughts. Then I have a good day, and I make healthy choices again. But there are people out there who have MUCH worse lives--who don't have breaks from hell. We can look down at them for overdosing on their psychiatric drugs, overeating, or starving themselves, but really. What is the alternative?

I know. I know. There's yoga and herbal tea.

I have this blog. It's my personal savior; probably a huge mistake to take that hiatus, by the way. That was probably the LAST thing I needed.

We the emotionally disturbed have our cute little healthy ways of coping. But sometimes life sucks too much and those little things don't quite help enough.

I am so sorry that Heath Ledger is no longer with us.

I am so sorry for all the other less famous people who also suffered and are no longer with us.

This is a depressing post.

I know.

And THAT is why I dreaded writing it.

Now I'm glad to be done with it.

Read my novel: The Dead are Online