Wednesday, June 16, 2010

A Timeline of My Life In this Century

I've been going through our photos on Ofoto, trying to delete some. Because if I can get down to 2 GB, than I can pay a lower fee each year to keep all our photos up there.

It's fun going down memory lane. It's made me all inspired to do a little timeline on my life. Well, I'm not going to do my whole life. That would be tedious. I'll just start with 2000.

2000-Tim and I left NYC, and moved to Fort Worth. I worked at two preschools that didn't impress me much. We got ourselves pregnant.

2001-2004-Jack was born. The Twin Towers fell down. I got angry at Tim a lot.

During this time, I was very obsessed with parenting. I read way too many parenting books. They told me I should wean Jack when he's a year-old, breastfeed him until he's four, never let him sleep in our bed, never let him sleep in a crib, hold him all the time, make sure I don't get him addicted to falling asleep in our arms, be wary of babysitters (they might be child molesters), don't use TV as a babysitter, never ever let the baby out of my sight (not even for a second!), make sure I have weekly dates with my husband, make sure I carve in time for myself, happy. Sad moms aren't good for babies.

Around this time, my weird dreams began. They were interesting, but sporadic. I didn't give them that much thought.

Australia was in our lives a little bit. Jack liked The Koala Brothers and The Wiggles. This is when I started doing the Aussie accent thing. We would play the shows, and I'd pretend to be Josie the kangaroo, and Dorothy the Dinosaur. Jack had Dorothy, Henry, and Wags stuffed animals. He was especially attached to Dorothy, and sadly we lost her and the others in a hotel one time. That was a bit tragic.

2004-The weird dreams became more frequent....enough for me to really take notice. This led me me to an interest in dreams which led me into an interest in spirituality. And that led me nowhere. I'm joking.

2005-I started getting this idea that I should lose weight for my sister's wedding. Plus, all the spiritual stuff was making me feel weird and confused. I felt going on a strict diet might make me feel a bit more in control of my life. Thus began my eating disorder adventures.

I became even more obsessed with the spiritual stuff. But instead of becoming a deep soulful person, I became very superficial. I was really into being skinny, and caring about fashion stuff. I even watched style shows on TV, and I wore tight jeans. I HATE jeans. Shit. It's like I was possessed in those days.

Around this time, my weird dreams led to my secret little love of Australia. It wasn't an obsession really...kind of a minor mysterious affection.

Meanwhile....I was beginning working on a major project for my sister; a video for her wedding. That took up a lot of my time and brain power. Oh, and also....I was taking care of a high need 3.5 year-old, and trying to move us to a new house. Life was a bit stressful!

2006-We traveled a lot that year...NYC and Florida. We went to both places several times. I was still into spirituality, and still into being very thin. I also became a total foodie. I thought about food almost constantly.

Then towards the end of 2006, I started to un-thin myself....both in body and in spirit.

- I decided to go back to trying to be a novelist. I worked on revising a book I had written years before. I had hopes that this time it would work for me. I worked hard with the writing. I worked hard with the trying-to-find-an-agent. I got nothing encouraging, and decided to give up.

In August, we went to get Passports for our upcoming whole-family Disney Cruise. Tim jokingly asked where we should travel, since we now had these lovely passports. I gave him a look...a reminder that we had decided not to do international travel until Jack was much older. A few weeks later, I had a moment of insanity, and decided it would be nice if we all went to Australia. Tim came home from work, and I shared my idea with him. By bedtime, we had bought plane tickets. And that's when I became TOTALLY obsessed with Australia.

At the end of 2007, we made it to Mecca (uh...figuratively speaking). I totally loved Australia with all my heart. The good thing was I wasn't disappointed or disillusioned. My obsession grew instead of fading. The bad thing was I was a bit depressed about coming home to the Empire of George W. Bush.

2008-My year of hell. I was depressed. We had MAJOR marriage problems. I had huge fights with my parents, and a huge fight with my sister. I had fights with my sort-of Australian cousin. I was like a drama magnet. My life was a soap other ways I won't go into.

I tried to get psychological help. But when I emailed some therapists, none of them wrote back. So that was that.

There was some good stuff. Despite our major marriage problems, we had a fun family trip to Disney World. I started a friendship with someone who helped me through the bad times. And the big awesome thing (in the midst of all the shit) is I began this blog. That kind of saved me.

2009-An awesome year for the most part....especially in it's comparison to the year before. We went to Australia again. How fortunate am I! I assumed the second time wouldn't be as good as the first, but it was a million times better.

I got really into my blog.
My relationship with my parents got much better.
My marriage improved in some ways.

There were a few dramas, and I had to take a bit of a blog hiatus to pull myself back together. But everything worked itself out okay.

2010-This has been an amazingly great year so far. Hopefully, it will continue to be great....or not awful, at least.

Edited to Add (6/27/12) Today I altered a line in this post because I now feel the original statement was far from the truth, and only wishful thinking.   I feel bad about lying to my readers; but even more so....I feel awful that I lied to myself.