Sunday, March 6, 2011

Dreams, Food, Tears, and Realizations

1. Started reading The Gift of Speed by Steven Carroll.  It's about sports, but I still might manage to like it. The first chapter didn't torture me too much.  

2. Dreamed about an Aussie blogger.  I'm at someone's house, attending a Weight Watcher's meeting.  The leader is the Aussie blogger.  I stand around in a clutter of other women around my age.   The Aussie blogger wants us to do this initial exercise where we all declare "I am weird".  We do it one by one.  I'm feeling shy, and don't want to say the whole sentence.  Instead I simply mumble the word weird.  Some of the other women do the same thing.  Then we have to go around and say what we don't like about ourselves (I think I got that from talking about Nip/Tuck yesterday).   I'm planning to mention my stomach. One of my Livejournal/Facebook friends goes first, and she says what I was going to say.  I'm then wondering if I should say my stomach; or can I just point to my friend and say something like "the same thing as her".

Other women have the same complaint about themselves.  The Aussie blogger says at one time she let her stomach, get big so a meddling aunt would finally leave her alone about having children.  She let her aunt believe she was pregnant.

I start questioning whether I even want to do Weight Watchers.  I don't want to deal with a point system.  I don't even feel like eating.  I am thinking it would be easier and better to just stop eating.

3. Read a name and shame article regarding restaurants in New South Wales that have repeatedly failed health inspections.  Yuck.  I was going to say I should save this list for when we go to Australia.  But I'm thinking (optimism here) that these places will either be shut down, or they'll work to make major improvements.  

I'm not too worried about the restaurants with bugs in the food.  I figure it's just extra protein. What concerns me is stories like Rozelle's Larn Thong Thai Cuisine.  They were found to be keeping their chicken at 25 degrees.  That would be fine if we were talking about Fahrenheit instead of Celsius.   Unfortunately, we're not. 

We had a gross restaurant experience the other day.  But it wasn't really the restaurant's fault.   We were at one of those places where you get to put your own toppings on your frozen yogurt. There were two women there with a little girl.   One of the women had a bad cough, bad enough that she was coughing into a tissue.  I'd like to give her the benefit of the doubt, and assume she had some chronic non-contagious problem.  But you never know.  Judging by their other behaviors, I'm doubting it.  I'm more likely to guess she's recovering from a cold or flu.

Anyway, while we were getting our toppings, the little girl was putting her face in her yogurt cup and licking it.  That's not so terrible, really.  But it seemed a little risky because they were still in line getting toppings.  I figured as long as they're careful not to touch the serving spoon with her yogurt, it's okay.  But no.  One of the women got some nuts with the serving spoon.  She didn't just drop them in the child's yogurt cup.  She used the spoon to push the nuts into the yogurt.  Then she put the spoon back.

I should have just been assertive and spoken up.  I might have pissed off that women, but maybe they would have learned something.  Instead I was passive-aggressive and blurted out to Tim and Jack not to eat the nuts. When they left, the yogurt man was apologetic and shared our annoyance.  He took the nuts away.  Then he said something like people do this type of stuff a lot.  I got the idea he probably regretted saying that. I don't know if I'll be brave enough to eat at those places anymore.   Anytime you eat at a buffet type place, you have to have faith that other people are using good hygiene and/or that they're not carrying awful germs.  

4. Saw that people have watched my singing video.  I appreciate that.  Singing is another thing I dreamed about last night.  Tim and I are with my old elementary school friend, Elizabeth.   We're on a sidewalk, or something like that.   Nearby there's a music group playing and we comment on it.   Tim starts to say something like "Dina sings.  She even sings better than.... "   I'm super impressed that Tim's about to give me a compliment, and in front of other people, too!   I am thinking he's going to say I sing better than the music group, but instead he says that I sing even better than him. Since Tim doesn't think he sings good, it doesn't mean much. But I figure at least it's something.   

Elizabeth says she sings too, and she seems to think she has a good voice.  I'm excited and want us to sing together.  But she says she never sings in front of anyone.  I encourage her to sing for us.  She finally agrees to do it.   She sings "Friday I'm in Love With You" by The Cure.  I don't think she sings that good, but I'm guessing maybe she's nervous.  We plan to sing together.  I don't really want to sing The Cure song, but don't want to push my luck.  I agree to sing it, but say I don't know the words. She'll have to feed them to me.  

I think Elizabeth represented me.  I've always loved to sing, but was usually to shy to sing in front of people (minus my grandparents, sister, and maybe one friend).   Later I started gaining confidence and started singing more in front of people; and also got the delusional idea that I might have talent.    I have no idea why The Cure song was in the dream.  It seems pretty random.  

5. Listened to Missy Higgin's "Where I Stood".  I think it's such a beautiful song.

Today I could strongly relate to these lyrics.

There were voices in my head
Little Voices Whispering
That I should Go and This Should End
Oh, and I found myself listening
cause I don't know who I am, who I am without you
All I know is that I should.

Usually, I picture the song being about a mother giving her baby up for adoption.  I'm not applying it to my life with anything that dramatic.  It's just the singing thing again. I think maybe I was more attached to the idea that I had talent than I imagined.  I was sad yesterday. Then I was okay, and now I'm sad again.  I guess it's going to be one of those things that take a few days to get over.   Sometimes we need time to mourn over our delusions. 

6. Read article about Julia Gillard being very cooperative with the American government.  I'd be very happy with that if I wasn't so strongly disliking the American government right now.  It's kind of like getting married.  It's great if your boyfriend's parent's get along well with your parents.  But what if your parents were awful?  Would you still want your boyfriend's parents being all chummy with them?

7.  Read article about online scams in America.  It says Australians are losing 63 million dollars a year. 

Oh.  Wow.  They're getting clever.  The scammers look for information on genealogy sites.  Then they write to people with claims of inheritance; or they claim to need money for medical purposes.

So if you get an email from a long lost relative, do some background checking before you send money.

8. Read article about Australia's Governor-General spending way too much money on flowers.   And this comes from taxpayer money.  That's really shameful.  The article says her spending has been reduced to $400 a week on flowers.  That still seems like a lot. I think dying flowers are such a waste of money. 

9. Read article that says the average age for first time moms is 29.  I almost fit that. I was 28 when Jack was born, but only three months away from being 29.

10. Read article that says Australia might get Euthanasia clinics.  They don't think many people will die there.  Instead they'll get some pills, take them home, swallow the pills, and then die.   Although I strongly support Euthanasia, the thought of it makes me feel really depressed. I know it's probably better than wasting away from a disease.  But the thought of taking all those pills and then knowing it's the end....  Or WATCHING someone take all those pills.

11. Got a compliment on my singing.  I don't know if I should feel happy or confused...or just believe the person was being nice.  I guess I'm just REALLY lost right now.  I've also been feeling helpless and powerless lately.

Now I'm listening to a really sad film score, and it's making me cry.

I'm a mess.  But I will find a way to cheer myself up.

12. Tried to feel encouraged when The Seeker's "Some Day One Day" played on Pandora. No.  Never mind.  When I read the lyrics, it all just sounds corny.  

13. Faced the fact that it's NOT my singing that I'm sad about. I wish it was. I'm not going to apologize for being vague.  I'm not in an apologetic mood.

14.  Heard Kate Miller Heidke's song about bullying; "Caught in the Crowd".  I love the lyrics, although it's so sad.

The corridors were crowded as we came out of the rooms
Three guys I knew pushed him into the cement
Threw away his bag and said he had no friends

He yelled that he did and he looked around
Tried getting up but they pushed him on down
That's when he saw me, called out my name
And I turned my back, and just walked away

I was young and caught in the crowd
I didn't know then what I know now 

And I'm sorry
If I could go back do it again

I'd be someone you could call friend 

Maybe the song will inspire people to stand up for each other.  That would be nice.

15. Tim mentioned that he's looking at places for us to stay in Melbourne and Sydney.

16. Amused because I was listening to children's music on Pandora.  "You are My Sunshine Came on".   I read the little info thing under the song and it said.   Not to be confused with the television actress of the same name who co-stars on the hit series Lost, Elizabeth Mitchell is a folk-rock singer and guitarist with a widely varied background that incorporates coffeehouse-style folk singing, moody and contemplative alt-country, and playful children's music. 

Okay, well that information has the total opposite effect on me. Now I'm listening to the song and totally picturing Juliet singing. I think it kind of sounds like her.  I picture her on the porch of one of those little yellow houses in Otherville, playing the guitar.  

17. Conflicted because I just got an email from Pandora saying I've almost reached my limit of 40 hours of music a month.   I'll need to upgrade if I want to listen to more.

I don't really need to.  I could just stop and listen to my iTunes.  But I feel then that I'm taking too much advantage of a free service.  Then again, they do have a lot of ads. I guess it's really no different than watching network TV.  I actually don't mind the ads.  I find them entertaining.  I guess I'll just stick with the free version for now.  When my time runs out, I'll listen to something else. 

Pandora is nice though.  They give you ideas of how to conserve your hours.  They suggest pausing the music instead of muting it.  I remember to do that sometimes.  I've also been bad about leaving the room when the music is on. I'll stop doing that.

18. Watched a trailer for the 1994 Russell Crowe movie; The Sum of Us. It was mentioned on the Australian Film Festival's Facebook Page.  It's going to be playing on 9 March. 

The movie looks cute.   I think I'd like it.  

19. Read an article about The King's Speech.  It lists ten things we didn't know about the movie.    I didn't know #1, #4, #5, #7 #8, #9, and #10.     Tim and I talked about #6 this morning because he asked if I had finished reading The King's Speech.   He asked if I had liked it, and I told about some of the differences between the book and movie.    There's actually some differences in the article that I didn't know about; such as Logue not calling the king Bertie. It was a pretty big thing in the movie.  

The book had much less tension between the two men.  The movie had that whole buddy-film thing going on.   This website has a great definition of buddy films, and I think it totally fits The King's Speech:  A film subgenre that mainly focuses on the relationships of men and their friendships, often strained and strengthened in the face of difficult situations or certain challenges. Most often it depicts a bonding between two men, usually people who often squabble and have differences but nonetheless compliment each other nicely.
That really wasn't present in the book.

20. Looked at Mardi Gras photos on the Sydney Gay & Lesbian Facebook Page.   It looks fun, but much too crowded for my taste.  I much prefer just looking at the pictures. 

21. Looked at the weather of the Australian capital cities.  This is around the time we plan to visit next year.  So I'm wanting to get an idea of what temperatures will be like.  Sydney would be perfect for me.  24 degrees.  I like that type of weather.  Melbourne and Adelaide are both over 30.   That's too hot for my taste.  Hobart is perfect with 23 degrees.   Because of that, I just gave a point to Hobart in my Hobart Or Adelaide thing.  Adelaide's still winning though.  But that could change. 

22. Decided I will post my Adelaide/Hobart thing.  I've been keeping track on a unpublished post.   But I'll backdate it, and then post it.  Here's the case anyone happened to be interested. 

23. Continued to feel lost, but that's only a small part of me.  I also feel happy. 

24. Watched videos from an Australian singer/video-maker in Australia.  His name is Kevin Guanzon.   I found him, because I heard this really pretty song called "Falling Slowly".  I decided if I found an Australian cover of the song, I'd have an excuse to write about it.  Yeah. That's the way I work....sometimes.

Here's Guanzon's cover of Falling Slowly.   It's weird, but I sort of like it. 

I'm impressed with his Mango Tree video....especially the video part.  I think this guy has some major filmmaking talent.  

25. Watched Kevin Guanzon's cover of Across the Universe.   I love that song.  This one doesn't have a cool video with it.   But that's okay.  It's not my favorite cover of the song, but it's interesting. 

26. Looked at list of current top films, books, and singles in Australia.  I don't think there's much Australian stuff on it.   Australians need to start paying more attention to other Australians.  

The 4th movie on the list is Unknown.    Is that the title, or could they not figure out the answer?  Oh.  Okay.   It's a movie—the one with Liam Neeson.  We saw the trailer when we saw The King's Speech.

27. Saw that there's a sort-of Aussie movie on the list.  The 10th movie is The Way Back, and the director of that is Peter Weir.   Here's the trailer.   It's looks pretty okay to me.  I felt like they were trying to get me to laugh with the snake joke, and I didn't. It was an awkward moment. 

Oh yeah....forgot.  There's another sort-of Aussie movie on the list.  The King's Speech.   The director is half-Australian.  Two of the actors are Australian, and some of the characters are Australian.    

28. Noticed that most of the top singles are by American singers.  So, there you go.  America may have a scary government sometimes. But on the bright side, we seem to have some good musicians over here.  OR we're just good at promoting them.  

29.  Looked at the list of books.   Three out of ten are written by a dead Swedish guy.  There are at least two Australian books on the list. There's Di Morrissey's The Plantation.  You know, I haven't read any of her books yet.  I need to!  I added one her books to my Powells wish list. 

The other popular Australian book right now is by Bryce Courtenay; Fortune Cookie. I still haven't read his stuff either.  I need to do that too.