Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Obsession

I'm about 95% over my desire to move to Australia.   I was previously 99.9% over it, but Halls Gap gave me a tiny bit of a set-back.  

I'm fine being American now.  I like living here.  To be honest, I was a bit homesick in Australia.  It might have been mainly about the price difference in ice-cream, but I think there are other things I missed as well.  

I thought I had evolved even further.  I thought I was over the need to travel to Australia.  I figured we'd come back in a decade or so.  No big deal.  In the meantime, we'd explore other corners of the globe.  There's Canada...Sweden...Costa Rica.  Ireland!  Maybe even Iceland.  The world is full of so many places.  Why keep returning to the same damn country?

But then we got home and I started to rethink things.  

I thought of going to places that have no kangaroos, cockatoos...no Jaffas or meat pies.   How sad to turn on the television and not see ABC or SBS.  Yeah, I was usually bored by what's on SBS. But I like knowing it's there.

I like walking by a restaurant with a TV playing and seeing Bill Shorten on the screen.

I like seeing Julia Gillard on the front page of the newspaper.

Yes, Costa Rica has parrots.  But they're not Aussie parrots. Could I still love them?  I want to say yes, but I'm not quite sure.

I thought about recent previous trips that were not Australia. The whole time I was trying to make it as Aussie as possible.

In San Francisco, I was obsessed with walking to this Australian store.

Did I buy any San Francisco souvenirs when in San Francisco?  No, I bought Aussie chocolate bars and some Aussie coffee table books.

At the San Francisco zoo, I rushed off on my own to see their Aussie animal collection. 

In Washington D.C, my main goal was to get to the Australian embassy. Then I also obsessed about getting to the used bookstores so I could see what Australian books they had.

When we talk about going to a city, one of the first things I do is google to see if they have Aussie restaurants.

I thought about going to Costa Rica.   Can I make it interesting for myself if it's not Australia?   Should I go to the bookstores and try to find Australian travel books in Spanish?   I guess that might be a nice thing to add to my collection.  

It's not completely hopeless. I do have interests outside Australia. For example, I want to go to Georgia and see The Walking dead sets.  That's something.

One day, a few months ago, I was obsessed with Finland.  Key words, though: One day.  Or maybe it was two days.

On the bright side, I'm better than I was a few years ago.

There was a time that I was desperate to move to Australia.

There was a time that I read only Australian books.  Now I read other stuff. My horizons are expanded.

It's not ALL Australia for me.  But it's kind of sort of close to that.  

I am so mystified by my Australian obsession.  Sometimes I'm annoyed by it...or at least bewildered. But I don't wish for it to go away.   I guess in some ways it makes me feel grounded.  It makes me feel safe.  It's kind of like the walks in Halls Gap. It feels better to stay on the path. At least for me, it does.

I think Australia is my path or at least one of them—a very important one.   If I left that path, I'm afraid I'd feel horribly lost.  

Oh well.   No big deal.  I'm sure if I dig deep enough, I can find ways to satisfy my Australia-desires in travel destinations that are not within Australia.  

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