Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Siany Young American Culture, Parents and Soulmates

1. Followed a link on one of my old 2011 blog posts.

It's a YouTube Channel called Siankummer.  It belongs to an Aussie girl named Siany who sings and plays a ukulele. Back in 2011, I thought she was adorable; and I liked some of her singing.  

Sadly, she stopped posting. Her last video is from a year ago, and there's just one video. She stopped posting regularly three years ago.  

2. Listened to Siany sing "Pumped up Kicks". I think it sounds quite nice.  

3. Continued to think that Siany is adorable. She reminds me a little bit of Cristin Milioti. 

4. Started to listen to Siany sing "Cupid". It's the Sam Cooke version— the same that was used in Blackpool

5. Had to watch the Blackpool Cupid

6. Hoped that Siany is doing okay, and that she's still working on her music. 

7. Tried to do some Siany stalking.

I found a blog written by her sister-in-law. She talks about her brother getting engaged to Siany.  

Though that was in 2009, before all the singing videos. I'm not sure if the wedding actually happened. So maybe the blogger isn't Siany's sister-in-law.  

8. Saw from this post that they DID indeed get married.

I feel like such a stalker right now. 

It could be because Siany herself has a blog, but it's private. So I'm digging into the life of someone who might want to be hiding.  

9. Found an Instagram for Siany Young. I think Young might have been her name before getting married. Then after getting married, she became Siany Kummer. Well, I know Kummer is her married name, because that's her sister-in-law's last name.

But yeah. The YouTube channel has both Young and Kummer. Kummer is in the address, but the name listed on the channel is Young.  

10. Looked at Siany Young's most recent Instagram post. It's of her cat. He's cute. The picture is from a week ago, so Siany hasn't dropped off the face of the Earth. 

11. Saw that Siany got an Apple Watch.  My niece bought one. I'm not sure if it's wonderful, or not. I remember her making a big deal when she first got it. But I can't remember hearing anything recently.

12. Saw that Siany still has her ukulele. That's encouraging. 

13. Saw a cute photo of Siany and another one of her cats. Or maybe it's someone else's cat. It's very cute, though. 

14. Found a short Instagram video with Siany singing. It's from 23 weeks ago.  

As far as I can see, she hasn't posted any music for about a year.

Why? Or is she posting it elsewhere?

15. Hoped that Siany would get back to pursuing her music.

Maybe she's singing, but just not singing online anymore.

16. Started to watch an episode of Neighbours.

17. Learned that Sonya (Eve Morey) is NOT exploring her lesbian side. It's another one of those misunderstanding storylines.  Toadie (Ryan Moloney) thought Sonya had met a woman with a dating app. And yes, Sonya did that. But it turns out the dating app has a friendship section.

This is the second time in recent episodes that Sonya and Toadie have had a misunderstanding. A few episodes ago, Sonya thought Toadie had bought her a too-large blanket robe thingie, but then it turned out the robe was supposed to be for his mother.

18. Had respect for Brad (Kip Gamblin) for trying to set boundaries between himself and Lauren (Kate Kendall).

Lauren argues that they're just friends. Brad tells her it's really more than that. They share a history together, and a child.  It's not very appropriate for them to drink wine together and fall asleep on the couch with their bodies touching.

19. Did not respect Lauren for acting hurt and annoyed by Brad's rejection. But I did sympathize with her. I can imagine myself feeling the same way if I was in her shoes.

20. Learned that Susan (Jackie Woodburne) was once married to Nate's (Meyne Wyatt) uncle.

I had no idea!

Is this a recently invented fact. or has it been mentioned before?

21. Saw from The Perfect Blend site that Nate's Uncle Alex was a real character on Neighbours.

22. Saw that Alex homeschooled his kids, and they were characters on Neighbours too.

23. Started to watch an episode of Packed to the Rafters.

The Rafters have a surprise birthday party for Chel (Gillian Jones), Dave's (Eric Thomson) newly found mother.

I think it's very sweet, because Chel gave up Dave when he was two-years-old. They finally reunited, but things were a bit rough in the beginning. Dave resented Chel for giving him up.

I love stories of reconciliation.  I think it's lovely that this woman, now, not only has her son but also a daughter-in-law, grandchildren, and the rest of the Rafter gang.

24. Thought that forgiveness is lovely in itself, but even more fantastic when it leads to friendship.

25. Liked expat Nikki's blog post describing her excitement over American mailboxes.

I remember learning that, in Australia, no postal worker comes to your house to pick up the mail you want to send.  It's something we take for granted here. Although I rarely mail anything anymore.  We pay most of our bills online, and we rarely write letters or send cards.

26. Loved what Nikki wrote at the end of her post.  Well, at some point she shows a picture of American flag stamps, and says, The stamps, could you get any more ‘American’*?

The asterisk indicates there's a footnote thing.  The footnote says,  American – to clarify is not a derogatory term, just a term used to describe something that really has no other way to refer to it, that we associate with the way we see American culture as an outsider. You may have to be not American to truly get it.

I am NOT a not-American, but I think I get it.

Many not-Americans have a certain imagine of America, and it's exciting for not-Americans to see Americans fulfilling this image.

From spending some time with Australians, I have an image of what not-Americans see as being very American. I think it involves yellow school buses, Pop-Tarts, and Trick or Treating.  There's probably a lot of other stuff.  I think, though, that if an Australian came to the US and saw children eating Pop-Tarts; and then those kids were picked up by a yellow school bus; the Australians would be quite pleased.

27. Wondered what else Australians imagine when they think of American culture.

28. Tried to think of Australian cultural things that make us excited as American tourists.

Vegemite is probably one of the biggest one. Oh my God! Look! They're really putting Vegemite on their toast! Real Australians using real Vegemite. And we're here to witness it! 

The other thing would be hearing "G'Day" or "Mate".  Jackpot if we actually hear the two words together.

29. Decided that simply hearing the Australian accent is a huge thrill...especially if it comes out of the mouth of an adorable young child.

30. Read comments on Nikki's post that had other American-culture things. Walmart!

When our Australian friends met us in Hawaii, they were overly excited about Walmart.

And there's summer camp. I think that's a huge one.

31. Felt very bad for Rachel (Jessica Marais) on Packed to the Rafters. She tries to talk to Jake (James Stewart) who dumped her a few weeks ago because of his excessive mother-love.  Jake totally gives Rachel the cold shoulder.

I think that's one of the worst feelings. You try to talk to someone who has rejected you, hoping they'll be a bit less rejecting.  But they're not. They're cold, and it makes you feel cold.

What's also bad is when they don't act cold. They're friendly. Your hopes go up, but then later, the person acts cold again, and the hopes are squashed.

32. Wondered if Jake and Rachel will get back together. Will Jake finally realize his mother (Mercia Deane-Johns) is controlling and unfair?  Or maybe his mother will realize her mistake and start acting decently?

33. Wanted to say that I see nothing wrong with mothers and sons who are close. I'm very close to my son, and I hope we'll always be very close.  I love hearing of close mother and son relationships. But there is something wrong when a mother is possessive and tries to scare a perfectly nice girl away.

Really. I think Norma Bates is a better mother than Jake's mom. Norma and her son get uncomfortably physical at times, but at least she TRIES to let him live his life. Jake's mom might think she has it tough raising a child with Cerebral Palsy,  but Norma deals with a son who has blackouts and murders people.

Has Jake's mother ever had to hide a body or lie to the police?  No, I don't think so.  She needs to get over herself.

34. Learned that Rachel did get through to Jake's mother. Jake didn't give any indication of that, but his brother, Alex, (Kristian Schmid) shares this information with Rachel.

Thanks to Rachel's lecture, the controlling mother has backed off a bit. Not only did she let him out of his cage, but she helped him get a job.

35. Disgusted with Jake. Rachel comes to talk to him, and she mentions Alex, working at the skate shop.

I think Jake SHOULD have said, Oh yes. Thanks, by the way, for saying what my mother needs to hear. Now she's giving us the freedom adult sons deserve.

He doesn't say anything remotely like that. Instead he warns Rachel not to talk about his mother. She gives him an undeserved apology, saying she shouldn't have pushed his mother. Yes, she should have!  Then Jake tells her she should apologize to his mother.

I think Rachel should forget about Jake, and date his brother instead. Alex is much less full of himself, doesn't seem to have Mommy-issues, and has a great sense of humor.

36. Touched very much by the episode.

It ends up that Char is HIV positive, and has been that way for over twenty years. She doesn't want to burden her son and her new family, so she tries to back away. They pull her back in again.

37. Felt lots of love for the Rafter family.

I'm really loving this show.

I do wish Rachel would find a new man, though. I'm not liking Jake.

38. Liked the song at the end of the episode. It's called "All Turn to Love", and it's sung by Galleon.

39. Saw that Galleon is a band from Adelaide.

40. Looked at Galleon's Triple J Unearthed Page. They don't have "All Turn to Love" there, but they do have some of their other songs.

41. Listened to Galleon's Kamikaze.

I like it.

42. Tried to understand my feelings about love, relationships, jealousy, and possessiveness. I'm still struggling with all this.

Right now, because of Packed to the Rafters, I'm thinking of it in terms of parent-child relationships and romantic relationships.

I feel ideally parents should love their children with all their hearts and put them a reasonable degree.  However, the love shouldn't be about capturing and keeping the child. The parent should want the child to fly free and eventually find its own family.  Or if the child isn't meant to find a partner and make babies; then at least they might find happiness in other ways.

The parent shouldn't want to be number one in the child's life. It's fine when the child is very young, but as they grow older, the parent should be fine with becoming less important to the child. Of course, it's fine to miss the good old days, and feel a little sadness. It's not okay to feel angry towards the child or guilt them into giving up their social life for you.

Note: If you cook them their favorite meal; they know you're doing this, but they then rush out to meet their's okay to be upset and somewhat bitchy about the whole thing.  There's a big difference between expecting respect and common decency and keeping your offspring as emotional prisoners.  This doesn't count if you cook their favorite meal every night as a method of keeping them in your prison. 

43. Felt that although possessiveness shouldn't be part of parent-child relationships, it does have some place in romantic relationships.

There's a such thing as being too possessive. A person shouldn't expect to be the only important person in their lover's life. They should be okay with their partner having friends, siblings, parents, etc. They shouldn't expect to be conjoined twins with their partner. They shouldn't be overbearing.

But what I feel is that in an ideal situation, the two people will usually prefer to be with each other.

If this is not the case, it's not because the couple doesn't work hard enough; are not dedicated enough; are selfish; or are failures at commitment. Well, sometimes these might be the case.  But I think mostly, it's because they're not a super match.  I'd say they're probably not soulmates.

It doesn't mean the relationship won't work. But that type of relationship TAKES work to keep it going. It takes effort and deliberation. I think in an ideal relationship, there's much less work. It comes more naturally.

44. Felt that ideal soulmate situations are probably very rare.

45. Came up with ways to determine if we are possessive parents and whether we have soulmate relationships.

As for the the parent thing.  I have two questions. First: When we see our child having fun with friends, does this make us feel happy and good about life, or does it make us feel sad and uneasy? Second: If our child has a falling out with their friends, do we feel sad and anxious? Or do we secretly (or openly, Lord Forbid) feel relieved?

I don't think I need to spell out what the answers to the questions mean.

Note: If the friend is a dangerous criminal, it's probably okay to feel somewhat relieved. Though I think there should also be some amount of empathetic sadness.

As for the soulmate issue. Let's imagine we're on a cruise ship with our lover. What makes our heart sing more; the idea of partying and meeting lots of new people—having an exciting social experience; OR finding a quiet corner up on deck to watch the stars with our partner.

It's totally fine to want both, but I think the one we prefer says something about our relationship.

46. Thought that if we're having fun hanging out with people on the cruise ship, and we think to ourselves, I need to be a good spouse and find my partner before they get mad; then we're probably not in a soulmate relationship.

If we're having fun hanging out with people on the cruise ship, but start getting tired of it, and desire time alone with our spouse; then we're probably partnered with our soulmate.

47. Decided to apply my crazy ideas to Neighbours.

I think if Brad and Terese (Rebekah Elmaloglou) were soulmates; Brad wouldn't have ended up falling asleep on the couch cuddled up next to Lauren. He would have been kind enough to have dinner with Lauren, but would have ended the evening early.  Instead of sitting on the couch drinking wine with Lauren, he would have said good-bye to her and then spent the evening texting Terese.

So, yeah. I don't think Brad and Terese are soulmates. But I do think they put a lot of good effort into their relationship. I think they can work to make things work.

48. Wondered if some people have no soulmates.

And I also wonder if some people have multiple soulmates.

Do soulmates even exist?

Yes, I think so.  It doesn't have to be a magical spiritual kind of thing.  It could just be two people who are very highly compatible; and along with that, there'd be a strong chemical attraction.

But I like to believe in the spiritual thing. It's fun.

49. Decided it's time for me to watch a Neighbours backstage video.

Today, I'm going to watch a set starring Harley Bonner. He plays Josh. I often want to say he plays Chris, but no. He hit Chris. He isn't Chris. There's a difference between hitting someone and being them.  Probably?

50. Started watching part one.

Harley Bonner says he's been around the Neighbours set since the age of eight, because of his mom.

What's that all about?

51. Started watching part two of the video.

52. Thought it was cool seeing the Neighbours wardrobe collection.

53. Found an article about Harley Bonner and his mom.

54. Learned that Harley Bonner's Mom, Carla Bonner, acted on Neighbours as someone named Steph Scully.

55. Looked at Harley Bonner's Instagram.

One of the posts freaks me out a bit, because the girl in the picture looks like Justine Clarke. That wouldn't be freaky in itself, but she looks like 1980's Justine Clark.

56. Read the caption on the photo and saw that it's Bonner's mom.

57. Liked photo of Harley Bonner eating ice-cream (or yogurt). He looks good with a hat. And I prefer Bonner's fashion sense to Josh's.

58. Liked Photo of Bonner with Tim Phillips. They both have beard-things.

59. Disagreed completely with the little inspirational message Bonner posted. Whether You Think You Can or Think You Can't; You're right.

The other day I felt very tired and my arms felt weak. Jack wanted me to open a jar, and I had serious doubts about my ability. Then I tried, and it ended up I could open it.

I think there have been other days where I imagine I can open something, and it turns out I can't.

So there!

60. Watched video of Ariel Kaplan licking Bonner.

61. Noticed that Bonner has a lot of photos of Kaplan. Are they dating?  Or...maybe just really good friends?

62. Saw photo of Bonner with the three Kaplan girls, plus two other guys. The caption says it's a wedding. I'm thinking Bonner was Kaplan's date?

63. Concluded that Bonner and Kaplan are together.

That's very cute.

So now I know of two sets of dating Neighbour's actors—Kaplan and Bonner; and Jenna Rosenow and Chris Milligan.

I wonder if there are any more.