Thursday, August 20, 2015

Secrets, Doing Nice Things for People, Mother/Son Reunion, and Turning Anger into Joy

1. Dreamed that...we're coming to the end of a short trip to Australia. We only went to Melbourne. I remember that I had planned to update my blog everyday, but realize I forgot to do that. I think about how we didn't even go to Sydney.  I think about the expensive plane tickets, and worry that we've used money that would have been saved for our future regular-length Australia trip. 

2. Read my blog post from May 1, 2011. It's the first time I heard of Offspring. That day I ended up watching some of the show on Youtube. I also watched some scenes from Rake,  and saw some of Mel's death episode on Packed to the Rafters.

I'm thinking maybe that day was a turning point for me—when I started to make more of an effort to learn about Australian television.

3. Went to the grocery store, and enjoyed the change in weather.

When we were in the parking lot, I suddenly thought of one of my favorite episodes of The Secret Life of Us. It's the one where they go to the laughing yoga session in the park.  Alex (Claudia Karvan) has been depressed about her abortion. Evan (Samuel Johnson) tells her a story which talks about the winter being over.

It's very beautiful.  I have a little tear just typing about it.

4. Started to watch an episode of Neighbours.

5. Decided I'm totally on Mark's (Scott McGregor) side about kicking Tyler (Travis Burns) out of his house.

Tyler worked for a criminal, even though he's living with his brother who's a cop. Yes, it would have been hard to come forward and say, hey, this guy is forcing me to do illegal work for him. But Tyler should have been brave enough to do that...early on.  Mark could have helped him.

Finally, when he pretty much has no choice, Tyler confesses. But he tries to put a lot of blame on Mark. It's Mark's fault, because Mark didn't have enough faith in Tyler. Tyler liked working for the criminals, because they made him feel he was capable of something.

Really?

If Tyler boosts his self-esteem by working with stolen cars, maybe there's a reason why Mark didn't have faith in him.

6. Saw that Paige's (Olympia Valance) other mother is now on the show.

She's played by a woman named Gina Liano. I see from IMDb that she's on the show The Real Housewives from Melbourne.

7.  Started to watch an episode of Packed to the Rafters.

8. Saw that this episode is about secrets—to tell or not to tell. And if you're going to tell, when do you tell?

I can relate to all of that.

Is there anyone who can't?

I doubt it.

9. Saw how secrets can be passed on and cause rifts in a relationship.

Mel (Zoe Ventoura) sees Sammy (Jessica McNamee) in a bar. The Rafters all thought Sammy was in London. Now Mel knows the truth. Sammy makes her promise not to tell anyone.

Mel struggles to keep it a secret; but but the secret puts her in a mood. The mood worries her husband Ben (Hugh Sheridan). He thinks Mel's upset with him about something.  Mel tells Ben about Sammy, but first gets him to promise he won't tell anyone.  Ben immediately feels obligated to tell his brother Nathan (Angus McLaren) that his wife is still in Sydney.

10. Felt that Sammy is to blame for the mess. She should have done a better job at staying hidden.

Well, yeah. Sometimes coincidences happen. In a huge city, you sometimes randomly see someone you know.  Fine. But then Sammy shouldn't have asked Mel to lie for her. It's not fair.

11. Thought about Rachel's (Jessica Marais) jealousy issues. She's upset, because she learns that Jake (James Stewart) sometimes does his electrician work in the homes of beautiful women who flirt with him.

Jake winds Rachel up, trying to make her more jealous. He's amused when Rachel falls for it. Then when she gets really upset, he assures her that his heart is with her.

That's all fine. For now. But I can imagine that it in a few years, when the honeymoon stage of their relationship is over; there might be problems.

It makes me think of Hollywood relationships. If your new husband works with beautiful co-stars, there's probably not a huge need to worry.  If your not-so-new husband is working with beautiful co-stars, I wouldn't be surprised if your love triangle soon ends up on a tabloid.

12. Got message from this Packed to the Rafters episode. Sometimes we keep secrets to protect someone we love. Other times we keep secrets to protect ourselves.

I think one is about not wanting to hurt someone, and the other is about not wanting to get into trouble.

13. Decided that many times a secret is about both things. We don't want to hurt someone; and we also don't want to endure the other person's sorrow and fury.

If we're directly to blame for the sorrow and fury; then maybe it's more about protecting ourselves.

14. Thought about Nate's (Meyne Wyatt) secret on Neighbours.  He was keeping a secret from Karl (Alan Fletcher)—that Tyler was the one who stole prescription sheets out of Karl's prescription pad. In that case, it's a matter of being caught in the middle.

It's the same kind of thing with Mel keeping Sammy's secret on Packed to the Rafters.

15. Amused to see A Welsh Girl in Australia's post about her blogging style.

Her husband read her blog and told her it was a bit too flowery and pretty.

It's kind of strange to read that, because I had been thinking of taking her blog off of my bookmarks, because of the same reason. To me, her blog is a bit too Martha Stewart. There's that aura of...Look at my beautiful life. Here are some ideas that will help you have a beautiful life too.  

There's nothing wrong with that kind of blog. There's actually a lot of great things about it. It's just not my type of thing.

Sometimes it's hard to decide whether or not to quit reading a blog. I quit one a few days ago, after several weeks of reading, because it was too crafty. Almost every post was about something the blogger had made. It's just not my type of thing.

I haven't quit A Welsh Girl in Australia's blog yet, because sometimes she does have posts that I find interesting.  For one thing, she has lovely photos of Aussie animals. I like that.

Today, I quit a blog I bookmarked a couple of days ago. I didn't even finish reading the whole post this afternoon. Why? Because the blogger's paragraphs were too long.  I like short paragraphs.

Some people might quit my blog because of these crazy numbered posts. I might bore them with all my talk of Australia television. Or they might want craft ideas and recipes, and I don't have that.

16. Felt that people should blog what they want to blog about—all styles of blogs are fine. The good thing is there are usually readers out there to match the writers.

17. Started watching another episode of Packed to the Rafters.

This episode is about marriage, sex, and romance.

Does marriage kill sex and romance; and do you need sex and romance for a marriage to be happy?

18. Had a thought while watching Jake admire some beautiful models.

It's not really a problem when your partner enjoys looking at other women or men. It's like window shopping.  No harm done. I think the problem is when your partner enjoys talking and being with other women or men. Well, actually it's fine for them to enjoy talking to other people besides you. Otherwise, they're going to be really clingy, and annoying. But if they PREFER talking to people other than you, that probably signals a problem.

19. Saw Ben doing very nice things for Mel, so she'll have sex with him.

It makes me wonder what's worse—a guy who expects sex without doing anything nice...like helping with the chores. Or a guy who does nice things for his partner just for the purpose of getting sex.

Well, if the partner wants sex as well, probably both are fine.

If the partner doesn't, then both are probably annoying.

20. Thought it would be especially annoying if partner only does the nice things when he or she wants sex.

21. Thought of certain people who act in a certain way ONLY when they want something.  It's annoying because I know they're only doing it, because they plan to ask for a favor.

22. Thought of various reasons why we do nice things for someone.

A) We want to see them happy, and/or make life easier for them.

B) We want to improve our relationship.

C) We want to impress them.

D) We receive mutual benefits.

E) We want to impress other people.

F) We want a favor in return.

G) We want to exhibit power over them.

H) We're jumping through hoops in order to avoid someone's relentless wrath.

23. Decided to give examples of all the things above, because they might be clear only in my head.

A) Buying a donut for someone because we know they love pastries.

B) Asking someone out to lunch, because we feel we should spend more time together.

C) Cooking them a fabulous meal so they know we have good cooking skills

D) Asking someone to go on a walk, because we want to spend time with them, and hope they feel the same.  (Similar to C, but maybe slightly better)

E) Surprising our wife with a huge bouquet of flowers at work, so her coworkers know she has an awesome husband.

F) Spending twenty minutes playing a board game with our daughter, so later when we tell our wife we're going to the pub with some friends, she doesn't complain.

G) Taking our financially challenged friend out for an extravagant dinner, so they fully understand that we're more successful than they are.

H) Going to our cousins's dog's birthday party, so our cousin stops complaining that we're selfish and don't care enough about family.

24. Thought that Jake and his mother (Mercia Deane-Johns) had a bit of Norma/Norman Bates action going on.  Last season, Jake's mom tried to scare Rachel away from dating her son.  Now Jake is unhappy about his mom dating someone.

25. Thought of two other things to add to my list.

I) Obligation.  I think the most common example of that is birthday and holiday gift-giving.
J) Pity.  An example of that would be inviting someone out to lunch, because we imagine no one really likes them much, and they must be lonely.

26. Thought of yet another thing!  

K) Improving someone.

An example of that would be buying someone a new coat, because we think they look ugly in their old coat.

27. Loved the concluding lines of the episode.  It's not about how much, how often, or how hot it is. A good husband just loves being with his wife.

I think that idea can be applied to other relationships.

A good parent loves being with their children. A good sister loves being with her sisters and brothers. A good grandfather loves being with his grandchildren. A good aunt loves being with her nieces and nephews.

I don't think in any of those relationships, anyone is going to love being with someone ALL the time or most of the time. But if the relationship is a good one, they'll enjoy spending at least some time together.

38. Went to the Triple J 2014 list.

Today I'm going to listen to the 24th song.  "Roll Up Your Sleeves" by Meg Mac.

I think it's the first song I'm listening to, on the list, that's a woman.

39. Realized I'm wrong.

I listened to a song by Sia. She's a woman.

40. Started to watch video for "Roll Up Your Sleeves". It's the US video. I'm not sure where I could find the Australian video.

41. Didn't like the video, but I can imagine the song might grow on me, eventually.

42. Started watching a Neighbours backstage video, starring James Mason.

I think I've watched one with him before.

This might be like a sequel.

43. Found that this episode has an exciting twist.

Morgana O'Reilly was feeling ill, and couldn't make it to work. So a scene, she was supposed to be in, was rewritten. James Mason has acquired some of her lines.

44. Saw James Mason getting his hair done.

I started thinking, gee, it would be really nice to have a professional do my hair everyday.

Then I felt really stupid thinking that, because I haven't gone to get my hair done professionally in about twelve years.

The thing is though, it's annoying when it's every few months.  The stylist makes you look great, but then you wash your hair a day or so later; and you can't recreate the look.

I think I want it every day, or not at all.

45. Remembered that I got my hair done for my sister's wedding. That was ten years ago.

So it hasn't been twelve years.

I don't think I was happy though with what they did to my hair.

46. Wondered if there is anyone out there who has aspired to be an actor just so they could get their hair and make-up done every day.

47. Looked at my recommended videos on YouTube.

One of them has Kylie Minogue finally meeting her son!

I have to watch this.

48. Thought it was very cute.

She didn't literally meet Tim Phillips. She just watched video greeting from him.

It was all quite funny.

Kylie Minogue says she doesn't really keep up with the show anymore. That's kind of sad. I wonder why? Negative memories? Not interested? Too busy?

I guess sometimes it's hard to keep up with our past. If we do, there's not enough time for our present and future.

49. Thought of what I wrote about yesterday in my post—about how you shouldn't try to get support  from someone if they're huge fans of the person you're mad at.

I really wish I had listened to my own advice.

I was so angry at someone today, and tried to talk to people in my life who SHOULD be supportive.

But no. As of yet, I've gotten absolutely no sympathy, support, or understanding. Because the person I'm so mad at is so high on their pedestal. They told me I should be happy about what I'm upset about.

That pissed me off to no end. If someone is upset, they don't need to be told to be happy.

Saying that didn't make me happy. It just made me a hundred times more angry.

I'm so mad at them.

I'm also mad at myself, because I try very hard not to turn to people for my problems. This is what usually happens. They say something to make me feel much worse.  But I was stupid enough to hope that this time it would be different.

50. Wished I had the power to curse every single person in the world who tells a sad or angry person that they should be happy.

What would I curse them with?

How about temporary facial paralysis?  It would last only a day or two, because I'm not super evil. But for those days, their face would be forced into an ugly evil-looking smile.

Or maybe I'd give them one hour of unrelenting depression; and they'd be bombarded with the type of people who say things like Turn that frown upside down, or Smile! It can't be that bad.


Edited to add

51. Wanted to say that one person I turned to for support ended up being lovely and very sweet. The other person? Well, I hope they never expect me to be there for them when they're feeling upset.


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