Brad Willis, Feeling Useless, Neural Clones, and Friends

1. Started watching an episode of Neighbours.

2. Felt disgusted and angry with Brad (Kip Gamblin).  Not only did he interfere with Lauren's (Kate Kendall) chance at a new friendship and possible romance, but he also took away a chance for her to pursue her love of art.

Brad is being incredibly selfish and possessive. I'm sure his excuse is that the dying Matt (Josef Brown) asked Brad to take care of Lauren. I'm pretty sure Matt didn't mean keep her for yourself and make sure she doesn't make any friends or pursue anything that might make her happy.

3. Wondered. Who is Ned? Brad mentions him to Josh (Harley Bonner) when they talk about Josh getting enough money for Amber's baby. From the context, it sounds like Ned is Brad's son. But I don't remember ever hearing about this Ned.

4. Learned about a Neighbours Ned from Lord Wiki. I don't see anything about him being connected to Brad Willis.

5. Found that there's another Ned.

The Perfect Blend Site says he's Brad's child with Beth.  I have heard Beth mentioned; or at least I've  heard that Brad was married before.

6. Learned that Beth was played by Natalie Imbruglia!

I didn't even know Beth was actually on the show. I guess I imagined it was a created backstory type thing.

7. Proud of Lauren (Kate Kendall) for telling Brad off. She tells him to stop interfering in her life and worry about his own wife and marriage.

8. Saw that residents of Erinsborough can now get Almond or Cashew milk at Harold's.

I used to drink almond milk, but lately I've been drinking the cow stuff. I think the main reason is it's mostly just Jack and me in the house.  He wants cow milk, but it's doubtful he'll drink it all before it goes bad. It seems better to just share.

9. Wondered if I'm wrong, and that maybe we do go through the milk before it's expired.

Maybe I'll buy almond milk next time we're at the store and see if we manage to go through both that and the cow milk.

10. Felt bad for Karl (Alan Fletcher). He's excited to be working at the new bar and is eager to be helpful and useful. But twice people reject his help, because his wife Susan (Jackie Woodburne) beats him to it.

It kind of reminds me of what I go through in life with Tim...particularly one certain lake house weekend.

I often feel that people prefer Tim to me.

This one weekend, my sister invited her friends to the lake house. I had met the mother in the family on multiple occasions at my nieces' birthday parties.  When we greeted each other, she took it upon herself to tell me she didn't remember me, but she DID remember my husband.

For many people, that wouldn't matter. But because of my chronic, underlying feelings about these things, it bothered me a lot.

Other things bothered me that weekend. But there was some fun bits, including time I spent swimming with my niece Ellie in the lake.  I thought we had a nice bonding time together. Then later, she approached me and asked me if I knew where Tim was. Why? She wanted him to take her swimming in the lake.

Yeah. What am I? Chopped liver?

Things have gotten better, though—at least with my family.  I'm starting to feel that they like me as much as Tim.  I'm feeling I have value beyond just being the daughter who brought the beloved son-in-law/brother-in-law/uncle into the family.

11. Annoyed with Susan and not just for helping her husband feel useless.

She tries to accuse Terese (Rebekah Elmaloglou) of having ulterior motives in setting Lauren up to work with Robin, the art guy (Max Brown).  Is Terese trying to get Lauren a new man, so she'll keep away from Brad?

Terese says she's not.

But what if she was?

Would it be so bad to help your friend find new friends, so she spends a little less time with your husband?

Personally, I don't think it's bad at all.

12. Started to watch Farscape.

I have two more episodes of this season. Then I'll go to Random.org to pick my new show.

I'm kind of hoping it's an old show.

I have so many Australian shows in my heart, and I'm eager to get back to them.  I'm not sure if I have room in my heart for a new one.

13. Looked at my list of shows I haven't watched yet. There's actually a few I'm eager to try...and some movies as well.

14. Started to watch my last episode of Farscape. Well, at least it's the last for now.

15. Saw that Crichton (Ben Browder) is possessed by Scorpius (Wayne Pygram) —or really, he's possessed by Scorpius's neural clone inside Crichton's head.

16. Saw that Crichton is probably only partly possessed by Scorpius.

I'm thinking partial possession is probably more dangerous than full-on possession.

If someone is fully possessed, then their family and friends will probably notice in a timely fashion. Then they can hire an exorcist, witch doctor, or other helpful entity.

If someone is partially possessed, then the entity doing the possessing will probably do a better job at going undetected.

17. Imagined that whether someone is partially or fully possessed, it's likely to go undiagnosed, because most people are going to suspect it's a drug problem, a neurological issue, or mental illness.

18. Imagined that if someone told their friends they are acting strangely because someone implanted a neural clone inside their head, they'd be probably diagnosed as schizophrenic.

19. Wondered if there are any fantasy or science fiction writers who got their ideas from talking to schizophrenic people. OR there might be writers who got ideas from their own delusions.

20. Realized that this episode will probably end with a cliffhanger, and I'm not going to get a resolution for quite awhile.

I don't think I'm a fan of season finale cliffhangers. They sometimes end up making me anxious.

21. Thought scene with Aeryn (Claudia Black), in danger was very emotionally intense. Although I didn't have any tears. It's like I can observe the heartbreak, but I'm not feeling it. I don't know why.

22. Wondered if it's because I know Aeryn will be all right in the end.

23. Saw that I was right. Season two of Farscape ended on a total cliffhanger.

Aeryn (Claudia Black) seems to be dead, and Crichton endured unfinished brain surgery that has left him speaking gibberish.

24. Went to Random.org to pick my next show.

It's The Slap.

I'm pretty excited about that.

I read the book a few years ago.

The only thing is, I've been mildly anxious and depressed the past few weeks. I'm not sure if The Slap is going to help me feel better.  If it's like the book, it's not going to be uplifting.

But maybe it will be cathartic in some ways?

25. Looked at the cast of The Slap.

There are a few names that jump out at me. Though some appear for only one of the episodes.

It looks like the main star is Jonathan LaPaglia. Is he the slapper?

I know LaPaglia is related to Anthony LaPaglia. I'm not sure if I've seen Jonathan acting in anything?

26. Saw that Jonathan LaPaglia was on the TV show Camp.  I kind of remember that now. I think he played Rachel Griffith's ex-husband.

27. Googled, and was told by Lord Wiki I'm right about LaPaglia's role on Camp.

28. Looked at Alex Dimitriades. He plays Harry in The Slap.

I thought his name sounded a bit familiar. Then I saw that he was in a Farscape episode I watched recently.

29. Wondered if Harry is the slapper.

30. Consulted Lord Wiki.

He says that Harry is the slapper, not Hector (the character played by LaPaglia).

31. Saw Melissa George in the credits. She plays Rosie in both the Australian miniseries and the American remake.

She's the one whose child gets slapped by Harry.

32. Recognized Anthony Hayes' name and face.

I think I saw him in the credits of Farscape recently. And looking at his filmography again, I see I'm right.

I would have also seen him in Bikie Wars and an episode of Slide.

He's also appearing in the upcoming adaptation to the novel, The Light Between Oceans.

He plays Vernon Knuckey.  I don't remember who that is.

33. Saw that Diana Glenn is on The Slap.

I liked her a lot in The Satisfaction. Though my first encounter with her was on The Secret Life of Us. She was the girl who made Evan's (Samuel Johnson) room smell like fish sauce.

34. Went to the Triple J 2014 list.

Today I'm going to listen to another Chet Faker song.  This one is called "1998".

35. Started watching the video for "1998"

36. Saw that the video uses animation.

37. Didn't really like the video or the song.

I did find the video visually appealing. But boring. I wouldn't mind having it as a background visual as I do something else.  Sitting there, though, and watching the video?  Well, I daydreamed through most of it.

38. Looked at the lyrics to "1998". There's nothing really specific about the year 1998. It's pretty basic, actually. The song is about good friends who are no longer good friends. I guess something bad happened between them...probably in 1998.

39. Started to watch a Neighbours backstage video.

This one features Josef Brown who used to play Matt.

Matt is dead, so it's unlikely Josef Brown would return to Neighbours.  UNLESS Matt had an evil twin brother. Or maybe Matt was cloned before death. Those are the kind of things that would happen on Days of our Lives.

40. Saw that Josef Brown was very proud of his new puppy.

41. Thought that Josef Brown reminded me of Matt—kind of soft spoken.

42. Laughed, because Brown talks about how the episode they're filming is Mason's (Taylor Glockner) departure. He says the cast has been debating why Lauren and Matt aren't driving him to the airport themselves. Brown suggests that it's because they want to watch a cricket game on television.

43. Started to watch another episode of Neighbours.

Unfortunately, it looks like it's going to have the Tyler (Travis Burns) and Paige (Olympia Valance) storyline.

44. Disliked Josh's outfit.



Lately, I really don't like his clothes. I don't remember having a problem with it in the past. I also liked Josh in the past. I thought he was kind and courageous. Am I disliking his clothes now, because I'm liking him less?  Or is he wearing ugly clothes now that his character has taken a negative turn?

45. Proud of Imogen (Ariel Kaplan) because she bitched out Josh for trying to make people feel bad about their bodies in order to sell his fitness product.

I wonder how many companies would go bankrupt if people felt secure about their physical appearance?

46. Realized it might be ironic that I'm mad at Josh for being negative about someone's physical appearance when just awhile ago, I was a bitch about his clothes.

47. Wondered if I'm a better person, because I'm not trying to sell Josh new clothes.

I'm just being a critical bitch. I'm not a money-hungry one.

48. Felt somewhat envious when reading Bec's post about the small group of girls she's been friends with since high school.

I've never had long-term close female friends.

I've had a few close friendships, but they never last long.

And I've had some not-so-close friendships that have lasted a few years.

Is there something wrong with me?  Or have I had bad luck finding the people who'd be a good match for me?

In the past year or so, I've decided I don't desire that kind of friendship anymore. I wonder then. Why do I feel envious?

Am I in denial about not wanting friendships? Or am I fine not having close female friends, but I'm scared that there's something wrong with me?

Maybe I'm sad that it seems I'm not the type of person who deserves close friends...even though I don't want close friends. But I DID at one point. So, maybe that's the thing.