Sunday, January 7, 2018

Examples of Everyday Misogyny

There are men who loudly and proudly act hateful towards woman. And there are men who love women, but see them as a lesser species, and/or feel a woman's sole purpose is to serve and support the men in their life.

Then there are men who see themselves as allies of women. In some ways, they are. But there are little things they do and say that tell an opposing story.

I've decided to list some of these things.

1. Believing that in order for men to be happy, they need to feel they have a purpose in life, while believing the only thing women need to obtain happiness is the flash of some cash.

Yes, some people can be bought with gifts alone.  But I think most of us would rather feel like we ARE a gift rather than be given gifts.

2. Being more concerned for men's health than women's. For example: being concerned for the heart health of the men that you know, but not even considering the fact that heart disease also happens to women.

3. Using anything female as an insult. You throw like a girl. Don't be such a pussy. Hey, Ladies (when speaking to a group of men you want to insult—either seriously or jokingly).

4. Shaming a boy or man for liking or doing anything that's traditionally female. I was thinking lately that yes, men too face gender discrimination. But I came to realize that most of it is actually misogyny.  Why else do most people not seem to have a problem when their daughter likes Star Wars or trucks, but heaven forbid a boy want to paint his nails or take ballet lessons?

Why is it often seen as cool for a woman to be a police officer or construction officer, but it's seen as embarrassing for a man to be a nurse?

5. Writing jokes, performing jokes, or laughing at jokes in which the theme is, it's absolutely disgusting to imagine a woman over a certain age having sex.  And this also goes for any other behavior that pushes the idea that women lose their worth over the age of 25.

6. Giving less credit to mothers than fathers. If you're going to think a man is wonderful for spending the afternoon with his children, then please think the same thing of a mother when she does the same.

7. Be ignorant and unsympathetic about menstrual cycles and other gynecological issues.  Yes, it's natural for women to bleed every month.  But periods come in different shapes and sizes. Some women go through mild discomfort. Others go through various levels of hell.  And sometimes there is an actual medical problem that needs to be examined and taken care of.  It's not up to you to decide whether or not a woman's period merits her crying in pain or wanting to stay in bed all day.  The commercials might lead you to believe that a period is where a woman puts on tight jeans, climbs up on her white horse, and ignores the blue liquid lightly dripping out of her body.  But reality has a much different story.

8. Believe that you are a nice guy who can't get a girlfriend because girls prefer bad boys.  Really. If you are that quick to believe it's always her and not you...than you are NOT a nice guy.  If you believe that treating a woman with kindness should guarantee that she fall in love with you, you're not actually being that kind.  What IS kind and decent?  Being nice to someone because you like them and want to see them happy, but at the same time recognizing that unfortunately unrequited love exists. No one is to blame for that.

9. Say and do things to indicate that you feel the only acceptable type of women is one that's physically attractive, well-groomed, thin, constantly smiling, bubbly, and fawning all over you. If you prefer women like that, it's fair.  I can't fault you too much. I probably have my own superficial prejudices when it comes to men.  BUT if you privately or publicly label women outside those realms using statements like, She's a fat, ugly, bitch.  Well, that's pretty shitty and misogynist.

10. Show interest in and/or speak out against sexual harassment and assault ONLY when it's done by a man you dislike for other reasons.  If you're fine with what Donald Trump has done, you should also be okay when the same thing is done by that neighbor who reported you multiple times for loud music. 

11. Have any of these statements as the main theme in your mind when hearing MeToo stories:

A) Not all men
B) Witch-hunt
C) She's just out for attention
D) Innocent until proven guilty
E) What about all the shit that women do? Why isn't anyone talking about that?

Speaking of the shit that women do, unfortunately the stuff on my list doesn't apply to only men.  Unfortunately, women also do these things, both to each other AND to themselves.  We ALL need to become less misogynist.  I think if we work on that, the world will be a bit better.