Friday, January 12, 2018

How Men Can Stop the MeToo Witch Hunt

I want to provide men with some advice on how to stop the MeToo witch hunt.

So, here are some things that might help.

1. Stop raping women.

2. Stop masturbating in front of women.

3. Stop inviting women to watch you take a shower.

Edited to add (1/18)-Just reread 2 and 3 and realized I definitely need to make an adjustment.  If a woman finds it kinky to watch you masturbate or take a shower, by all means continue with the behavior.  But please make sure, she actually enjoys this, and make sure you're not being fooled by a narcissistic-delusion.

4. Stop verbally abusing women when they reject your failed flirtations.

5. Stop reminding us that men are victims too. We know that, just like we know all lives matter whether they are white, brown, black, yellow, green, multicolored, etc.

6. Stop putting women in positions where they can't say no to you without risking their careers.

7. Stop blacklisting women.

8. Get over the idea that you're a God-like gift to every women "lucky" enough to be in your presence. 

9. Don't fake innocence when you're not. You're ruining it for any man who truly is falsely accused.  If almost every man accused claims they are innocent, how the hell are we going to distinguish between the fake false-accused and the truly false-accused?

10. Take Dan Harmon's advice, and think about your past and present behavior. Take twenty minutes out from judging the behavior of other men and think about YOUR behavior.  Do some self-reflection.    

11. Stop gaslighting women...about ANYTHING.  If your wife, sister, daughter, friend, etc. confronts you about something you've done, don't try to lie and say it didn't happen.  Don't twist the story around to make yourself look like the victim. If I hadn't been gaslighted by (the most important) men in my life, I think I'd be much more open-minded when hearing men try to proclaim their innocence. 

12. Listen to the women who are supposed to be able to trust you and depend on you when they talk about being hurt by other men. Don't laugh at them. Don't try to convince them that what happened to them is not a big deal. Don't make excuses for the men who hurt them.  

You know, sometimes I feel guilty about bitching about things on my blog.  A little voice says, Dina you should settle things privately. That's more fair.  But when I try that, I'm too often ignored, manipulated, lied to, dismissed, pushed to get over it, etc.

The trial by social-media will end when more women feel they can speak up AND be listened to. 

We should be able to depend on our mothers and fathers.
We should be able to depend on our sisters and brothers.
We should be able to depend on our spouses and partners. 
We should be able to depend on our supervisors and coworkers.
We should be able to depend on your friends.

13. Understand that if you have caused pain to any women in the past, you are NOT making things better for yourself by speaking out against harassment on social media, wearing trendy pins, following the MeToo dress code, etc.  Now if you do these things AFTER admitting your wrongs, and apologizing. And it's a genuine attempt to right your wrongs...that's pretty okay in my book.  

But if you're doing it because you think it will help you hide from your crimes or you feel pressured to do it?  No, it's not going to help you. It's very easy for me to imagine how victims feel when they see their past abusers wearing the costume and faking the sympathy. It makes my blood boil.  

My advice to men who have done shitty things and don't have the guts to admit it and apologize?  Hide your ass. Stop posting on social media. Stop appearing in movies and TV shows. Stop attending award shows. Stop publishing books. Stop climbing the corporate ladder. Stop running for office.  Disappear...from the limelight.  Maybe one day, you'll be brave enough to own up to what you did and you can apologize.  Until then...let your victims have a break from seeing your guilty ass enjoy prosperity and adoration.