Tuesday, February 5, 2019

My Fake/Wonderful Life

October 2- My dad texted me this morning. He wanted to know if I wanted to go out to lunch with him.

I told him I didn't want to, because I was mad about what he had said about my neurology stuff.  After all those conversations I had with him, the emails, the article links, etc. he still doesn't understand the difference between my tremor and my myoclonus!  I told him I felt that if we went to a restaurant together it would turn into a public fight.

Okay, maybe I shouldn't get mad about something like that. But it bothers me when I feel someone hasn't listened to me...especially about something that's important to me. Is that immature? I don't know.

Well, my dad majorly apologized!!! He was so sweet.  He said he's sorry for getting confused and saying something stupid.  I accepted his apology. Really. How could I not?  Then we ended up going to the Thai restaurant he's been wanting to go to.

It was a lot of fun. I really love my dad. We have a great relationship.  I feel so lucky to have him.

October 7- My dad sent us an email today kind of being pushy about selling our house. He and my mom have been generously helping us live in a house that's now beyond our financial capabilities. Tim and I have been talking about moving for the past few months, but we haven't really put our heart into it. We've been LAZY.

Well, my dad has helped us along by telling us that they're going to stop helping us with the bills for the house.  Yikes!!!!

It's cool, though. 

It was the kick that we needed.

And we're both excited about living somewhere new.  I used to move so move so much when I was younger, and now I've lived in the same damn house for fourteen years.  It's time for a change!!!

That being said, moving is supposed to be one of life's most stressful experiences. And whether my issues are caused by psychology or neurology, stress is probably not good for me.

My parents made sure that I know that they understand this. They said they are happy to help in anyway they can...minus financial stuff, of course! Oh and also no cat sitting, because my mom is allergic.

November 5-Tomorrow I have my neurology appointment.  I've been so anxious and upset about it, since the last neurology experience was awful.  But Tim has been SO sweet and supportive.

He said after my appointment, we'll do something special together. And after that, he'll be by my side for the rest of the night.

I'm so glad to have so much love and support at this difficult (and annoying!) time.

Wait! Please don't get me wrong. I'm not that high-maintenance!! I don't need all this TLC every time I have a doctor's appointment. But because of the nightmare with the last neurologist, I'm needing some extra love this week.

November 6-My neurology appointment went okay.  I didn't get any answers yet...but maybe someday soon?

Tim was wonderful. We all went out to eat after my appointment.

Okay, he wasn't by my side ALL night. And if he had been, I'd probably feel suffocated. But we did spend a lot of time together....mostly just on the couch watching TV, talking, cuddling, etc.

We watched some of the election together. We're both so happy Beto won!!!!!

November 22-Happy birthday to me!!!!

No gifts, because I'm not really a gift-loving person.  And I especially don't want to add more clutter to our house.  But Tim bought me a yummy dessert from the bakery.  He knows I love sugar.  He's good at making me feel loved and special.

January 3- Sorry. I haven't written in awhile. I've been busy. WE'VE been busy!!!!! You know...with the house and stuff.  It's not like we work day and night.  We still have time to do fun things like watch our favorite TV shows. Tim plays his video game.

But we get a lot of work done each day. A lot of times we work together.  We'll go through a room together, decluttering, cleaning, talking, listening to music, etc. We make fun of our old stuff and sometimes have little debates about what should be thrown away.  It's actually very romantic.

To me, things like walks on the beach and candlelit dinners are not romantic. What's romantic is working side by side with someone...having a common goal and getting there together.

February 1-I felt so sick earlier tonight.  I'm feeling better now, but....

I just felt really weird. I didn't know if it was my neuro issues or if I was getting a stomach illness. I felt like I might have to run to the toilet...for something. It's like something was going to happen, but I didn't know what.

I asked Tim if he minded if we stopped watching our show and continue tomorrow.

He was very concerned. I guess I looked awful. Or...well...really, he's concerned anytime I'm sick. He worries a lot.

I told him I was going to go to the bathroom. He asked if I needed him, and I said not right now. He asked if I'd be okay if he took a shower.  I said, yes. Actually, I needed some space....

I had some time alone.  Then when I felt a little better I went in the kitchen to feed the cats. Tim rushed in and told me to go back to my room and go to bed. He'd feed the cats.

So sweet!  And it WAS nice to crawl into bed.

February 3-  Things are going very well. Our house is looking so much better. I'm so proud of all of us for working so hard.

Things aren't perfect, of course. I still have my neurology symptoms. But that's okay. And Tim is so incredibly supportive.  Every day he asks how I'm doing, if I'm feeling okay, if I'm having any new symptoms, etc.  It's very sweet.  And it makes me feel that although I have problems, I'm totally not alone. Do you know what I mean?

There are times that I do more of the housework than Tim. He's busy with a big, exciting project. But I'm okay with that, because he has already DONE a ton of work. Also, he's apologetic and very grateful when I do extra work. I love that he notices what I've done, and he acts so impressed. It's very sweet.

My life is wonderful.