Lately I've been watching the first season of Lucifer.
I'm loving it.
And finding it a bit therapeutic.
The show is about Lucifer (Tom Ellis) rebelling against his father, The Almighty God.
Lucifer leaves his job as the guardian of hell and comes to Los Angeles to learn about humanity.
He has a wicked sense of humor and is vain, but he's a nice guy. He's honest. He has compassion. I like him a lot.
He's a good guy with a very bad reputation. And he has a father with a very good reputation...a reputation that Lucifer disagrees with. He tries to get other people to see his viewpoint and seems to usually fail. Not many of the characters argue against him. They just kind of...ignore him? They give him a blank look. They humor him.
The Devil-God relationship, on the show, reminds me a lot of narcissistic parenting. Although since we're not shown conversations between Lucifer and his father, we don't get to see any gaslighting. And personally, I feel that gaslighting is the hallmark to toxic, narcissistic parenting. So, the analogy isn't complete for me. BUT....besides that.
Let's start with the blank looks and humoring.
I think children of narcissists probably get this a lot when they speak their truth. If their parent is not openly and passionately defended by the listener, at best the listener will probably just give a noncommittal response. There's a underlining message of, I am here for you. I am going to listen to you. I'm not going to argue with you. But I don't believe a word you're saying. OR I believe that YOU believe this is what happened.
Now I'm thinking...since we don't actually see Lucifer's father on the show, we don't get to see any narcissistic behavior in action. I guess it's more about what we see from his other children, believers, and followers.
And they're the flying monkeys.
In narcissism situations, flying monkeys are the ones who defend and fight for the narcissist.
Then there are two other narcissism vocabulary words that fit well with Lucifer—golden child and scapegoat.
The scapegoat is the one who's seen as the black sheep—the one who is deserving of punishment. Daddy and Mommy are wonderful parents. Their family is ALMOST perfect. It's just they have this awful glitch they are forced to work with.
The golden child is the one who's adored. The favorite.
And this isn't necessarily static in a family. The golden child can do something that drops them to scapegoat status. The scapegoat can learn to properly lick boots, and they'll rise to the golden child status.
From what I know of Judeo-Christian mythology, Lucifer was God's favorite son. And then he did something wrong? I'm not sure what. If God is like the typical narcissists, my assumption is that Lucifer insulted him and/or complained about one of God's choices. Or maybe he failed to show God enough gratitude and adoration.
Oh! Wait.
I don't need to depend on the TV show to see evidence of God's narcissism.
I forgot.
Through life I got glimpses of it when worshipping at Temple.
Really? Who, besides narcissists, demands to be worshipped?
Who else would expect you to accept the shit thrown at you with a smile and at the same time be eternally grateful for every crumb dropped your way?
Like a narcissistic parent, God demands adoration and excessive gratitude.
Although to be fair, there's no proof that God demands any of this. He could be this really cool guy (or woman or Octopus) who rolls their eyes when people do the worshipping and says, Man...I really don't need all of this. Thanks. But how about you go and find something more fun to do. Enjoy yourself! And maybe he'd say, I appreciate all the gratitude, but I'm also totally cool if you have some constructive criticism. I'd love to hear some of your ideas about things.
Anyway....
Back to the flying monkeys.
On Lucifer, the main one so far is the angel Amenadiel (D.B Woodside). He seems to be the golden child of the family.
He tries to convince Lucifer to go back to hell. When convincing doesn't work, he tries more manipulative tactics. He befriends Lucifer's therapist (Rachael Harris) in an attempt to get her to unknowingly manipulate Lucifer into doing what God wants.
And when that plan doesn't work?
Amenadiel works an angelic, medical miracle. The plug is pulled on Malcolm, a dying, crooked police officer (Kevin Rankan). Moments after the equipment is unplugged and his loved ones are crying, Malcolm comes alive again. We later learn he visited hell for 30 seconds; then was brought back by Amenadiel.
Amenadiel's miracle doesn't come for free, though. In order to not return to hell, Malcolm has to murder Lucifer. The idea being that if Lucifer is killed, his soul will be returned to hell. (Maybe his body too? I'm not sure how that all works with angels)
Yeah. So God and his angels are supposed to be the good guys.Yet they're forcing someone into a life he doesn't want, because it works with THEIR plans. And when he tries to rebel, they use manipulation to try to force him back back into line.
While some flying monkeys are calculating and cruel; maybe narcissist themselves; other flying monkeys are good people—just misguided. They usually avoid manipulation and just speak from their heart. I think he does love you. I think you just misunderstood him. I think he just wants what's best for you. He really cares about you! He talks about you all the time, and he gets all teary-eyed.
These people aren't about helping the narcissist win, and they don't want to hurt you. They listen carefully and attempt to understand. They don't say manipulative things or insulting things like, It's too bad you only see the negative.
They just want there to be peace and happiness between everyone. And they want to believe the narcissist is the hero they have imagined him to be. They love you. They care about you. But they want you to be wrong.
And that's still very frustrating (and often hurtful). But at least it comes from kindness.
On the last episode I watched, "A Priest Walks into a Bar", this type of flying monkey comes in the form of a priest (Colman Domingo). He's kind to Lucifer. He befriends Lucifer. He seems to be a really nice guy. But he's a supporter of Lucifer's narcissist father, and he gently defends God when Lucifer vents about him.
Lucifer complains about God's plan for him, and the priest suggests the plan isn't over.
Flying monkeys do that. They try to get you to second guess your opinions and assumptions. Does he really hate you? Or is he just using tough love?
And maybe the priest is right. Maybe God loves Lucifer as any father should love their child. And the punishment was more about helping Lucifer in some way. Or maybe what seems like a punishment was actually an honor.
OR maybe Lucifer's right, and God's plan didn't go beyond wanting Lucifer to be miserable. Maybe it's just about God being arrogant, spiteful, and vengeful.
