Saturday, November 22, 2014

Today I am Hating Nurse Bronwyn

I just saw something absolutely ridiculous on All Saints.  I wish I meant ridiculous as completely unrealistic and silly. But no. With what I saw...I can totally imagine it happening in real life.

Jaz, who does administrative work for the hospital, has been raped. Before the rape, she was this very sunny cheerful person—incredibly sweet. Now she walks around like a depressed zombie.

She finally tells her boss Terri what happens and gives Terri permission to tell the other staff on the ward. She wants people to know what has happened to her, but she doesn't want to have be the bearer of the news.

Later Doctor Luke sees Bronwyn who used to work with them. He tells her about the rape. Once Bronwyn learns it's date rape, she pretty much puts the blame on Jaz. That girl needs to learn to be less trusting. If you go to bed with someone, you have to look after yourself. Luke defends Jaz, saying no should be enough. And Bronwyn disagrees. You have to know what to do when the guy won't listen. Oh, and according to her, Jaz has been reading too many happily ever after stories.

So it's Jaz's fault for being raped because she's nice and doesn't have the physical strength to fight for escape when a man is raping her?  Lovely.

Then to make things worse and more ridiculous, Bronwyn asks Luke why didn't Jaz come to them—meaning why didn't she tell them. First of all, she DID tell them. It just took a few days. Second, seeing how Bronwyn reacted to the news, why should have Jaz told them? So people could talk about her behind her back and blame her?

It really bothers me when people blame the victim. I've heard it done with certain people in my family. They're told of a tragic tale, and they talk about how they would've have had a happy ending because they would have done this, this, and that. Or they just do the should've game.

One example I can think of was the roller coaster death at Six Flags. A woman got on the ride; then questioned the attendant about her restraint which didn't seem to be working correctly. He told her everything was fine. She rode off. Her restraint didn't hold her, and she plunged to her death. Someone in my family blamed her. She shouldn't have stayed on the ride when she suspected something was wrong.

But I could totally picture myself being in the situation. I picture myself worried. Then I'm reassured everything is fine, and I feel stupid for bringing it up. I trust the Six Flags employee to ensure my safety and to know what he's talking about what. So I shut my mouth and continue on the ride.

We can all look at victims and say should have, could have, and I would have. But we should really be showing sympathy towards the victim, and our wrath should be directed towards the who or what that caused the problem.

For Jaz's rape, I blame the guy who wouldn't listen to her insistence that they stop. For the roller coaster death, I blame the Six Flags attendant who ignored the woman's concerns. And yeah. Both stories are examples of a woman's needs and fears being dismissed and ignored.  Sometimes humanity can be really pathetic.