I've been gaslighted before. It's painful.
It's confusing, because something happens that bothers you. In a better world, you'd be able to express this hurt and anger. There'd be acknowledgment and remorse. There'd be apologies. There'd be some sort of resolution and closure.
Instead, with gaslighting, there's denial and/or minimizing. You're left wondering if there is something wrong with YOU. Did you remember things wrong? Are you insane? Are you too sensitive? Are you over-reacting?
And unless you have witnesses that stand by you, it can be really lonely. There's often no one around to say, Yes. That happened. Yes it was awful. Yes you have every right to be upset.
So I think that's where Trump's gaslighting is different from personal gaslighting. I think it's less lonely because we experience it together. There are MANY people saying yes, that happened. Yes, it's awful. And yes we have a right to be upset.
Not only do we have other witnesses, we have it on record. We have the Tweets and videos.
Trump can say he didn't say something, and we can watch a video that says otherwise.
Maybe that will actually be my first question.
A) Does it help (psychologically) to have actual video/Tweet documentation that Trump is gaslighting us. Or does that actually make it more frustrating? And how about with personal gaslighting? If we have an email, recording, text, etc that proves that such and such happened and that we're being gaslighted, does that make things easier? Or is frustration less detrimental than self-doubt?
Other questions....
B) Are passionate Trump-haters more likely to have been gaslighted in their life? And is this one of the main reasons we hate Trump? If Trump had the same policies but was relatively honest, would we hate him with less passion?
C) And how about for conservatives who are anti-Trump. I'm guessing they'd be okay with most of his policies. So does the gaslighting play a big part in their dislike of him? Or is it usually more about the Russia and Ukraine mess?
D) For people who are big Trump fans, are they bothered by the gaslighting at all?
I'm guessing they're not...in most cases.
So....
E) Are they ignorant about the concept of gaslighting?
F) Are many Trump fans gaslighters themselves? Are they not bothered by the gaslighting, because they themselves do the same thing?
G) How about anti-Trump people who happen to be also guilty of gaslighting? Are they less bothered by this aspect of Trump than victims of gaslighting? Or...if they are bothered, do they deny their own gaslighting? Or has seeing Trump's gaslighting been a wake up call, and they're trying to change their own behavior?
H) For anti-Trump people who have never been gaslighted but speak out against Trump's gaslighting, do they really hate gas-lighting or is it just a matter of Trump-can't-do-anything-right? Like if Trump wore purple glasses, then purple glasses would be a horrible thing to wear.
I) Do people on the right gaslight more than people on the left? Are people on the left more likely to be bothered by gaslighting?
If one day we end up with a Democratic president that gaslights as much as Trump, will the left tolerate the gaslighting as much as the Trump fans tolerate/support Trump's gaslighting? I imagine we will, in general, be much more tolerant of the president, because we like his/her policies. But will we speak up against the gaslighting? And is there a point where we'd say, Enough is enough. We like what you stand for, but you're toxic. We want you out.
It's confusing, because something happens that bothers you. In a better world, you'd be able to express this hurt and anger. There'd be acknowledgment and remorse. There'd be apologies. There'd be some sort of resolution and closure.
Instead, with gaslighting, there's denial and/or minimizing. You're left wondering if there is something wrong with YOU. Did you remember things wrong? Are you insane? Are you too sensitive? Are you over-reacting?
And unless you have witnesses that stand by you, it can be really lonely. There's often no one around to say, Yes. That happened. Yes it was awful. Yes you have every right to be upset.
So I think that's where Trump's gaslighting is different from personal gaslighting. I think it's less lonely because we experience it together. There are MANY people saying yes, that happened. Yes, it's awful. And yes we have a right to be upset.
Not only do we have other witnesses, we have it on record. We have the Tweets and videos.
Trump can say he didn't say something, and we can watch a video that says otherwise.
Maybe that will actually be my first question.
A) Does it help (psychologically) to have actual video/Tweet documentation that Trump is gaslighting us. Or does that actually make it more frustrating? And how about with personal gaslighting? If we have an email, recording, text, etc that proves that such and such happened and that we're being gaslighted, does that make things easier? Or is frustration less detrimental than self-doubt?
Other questions....
B) Are passionate Trump-haters more likely to have been gaslighted in their life? And is this one of the main reasons we hate Trump? If Trump had the same policies but was relatively honest, would we hate him with less passion?
C) And how about for conservatives who are anti-Trump. I'm guessing they'd be okay with most of his policies. So does the gaslighting play a big part in their dislike of him? Or is it usually more about the Russia and Ukraine mess?
D) For people who are big Trump fans, are they bothered by the gaslighting at all?
I'm guessing they're not...in most cases.
So....
E) Are they ignorant about the concept of gaslighting?
F) Are many Trump fans gaslighters themselves? Are they not bothered by the gaslighting, because they themselves do the same thing?
G) How about anti-Trump people who happen to be also guilty of gaslighting? Are they less bothered by this aspect of Trump than victims of gaslighting? Or...if they are bothered, do they deny their own gaslighting? Or has seeing Trump's gaslighting been a wake up call, and they're trying to change their own behavior?
H) For anti-Trump people who have never been gaslighted but speak out against Trump's gaslighting, do they really hate gas-lighting or is it just a matter of Trump-can't-do-anything-right? Like if Trump wore purple glasses, then purple glasses would be a horrible thing to wear.
I) Do people on the right gaslight more than people on the left? Are people on the left more likely to be bothered by gaslighting?
If one day we end up with a Democratic president that gaslights as much as Trump, will the left tolerate the gaslighting as much as the Trump fans tolerate/support Trump's gaslighting? I imagine we will, in general, be much more tolerant of the president, because we like his/her policies. But will we speak up against the gaslighting? And is there a point where we'd say, Enough is enough. We like what you stand for, but you're toxic. We want you out.
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