Extension

I've decided to extend my hiatus from listening to audio books.

I was going to end it on Wednesday.  But now I'm going to extend it until at least next Saturday.

Why?

A) I'm very hyper-focused on my own fiction writing project.  That leaves me less time to listen to someone else's fiction.  But more importantly, I'm so hyper-focused...I think I'll.. spend too much time daydreaming and having to rewind...multiple times.

B) I'll still have stuff to listen to. Podcasts. And two that I listen to are fiction. So, I'll get my needed dose of fictional audio that way.

C) I'll also get my dose of fiction via the current TV shows in my life: Neighbours, Coronation Street, Little Women, and Gilmore Girls.

D) I need the extra time, so I still have time to learn Te Reo Māori despite now needing time to also write/plan/think about my book.

* * *

I really hope I actually write this book.

I started a little....

430 words.

Not a lot.

But much better than my last two attempts at writing novels. (ZERO words).

* * *

I don't plan to do word counting on a regular basis.

I just wanted to prove to whoever is reading this that I actually wrote some words.  

* * *

My barely-started novel's genre is UnDystopian.

It's in opposition to dystopian novels.

My future is a hopeful, better future.

But it's not a utopia.  Things aren't perfect. People still have problems.

I think the idea of dystopian is usually that there were lofty plans and then the lofty plans made everything extremely more shitty.

In the UnDystopian genre, the lofty plans make things better. But not perfect. Because there will always be problems.  

* * *

The conflicts in my novel probably won't come from the futuristic stuff.

The conflicts will probably be more everyday things...relationship issues, big life decisions, inner angst.

There IS some political drama involving terrorist cults.  I'm not sure, though if this will be a bit part of the plot or just a background kind of thing.  

OR it might be something that doesn't even leave my notes.  Like Dumbledore being gay.  Maybe I'll be the only one who knows there are terrorist cults...(and whoever reads this post) 

Edited to Add (immediately after posting): Just Googled and learned that there are utopian novels that don't present a perfect world.  So I guess I'm stuck calling my novel utopian.  Even though I much prefer the term UnDystopian.  

Or I could be a rebel and stick to UnDystopian.  

Dear M (part 3)

It’s been awhile since I’ve written to you.

You kind of got pushed to the back of my head… where you’ll hopefully go back to. Soon.

But today there’s been a lot of pictures of Kfir Bibas. And back when I adored you, I would have assumed you’d be the type of mother who cared deeply about kidnapped babies.

It’s okay.

You’re so replaceable.

There are many moms out there who have the type of hearts needed to care about Jewish babies. 

Edited to add 1/18/25-realized suddenly, it sounds like I’m referring to my own mom.  I’m definitely not.  

My Favorite Selfies from Copenhagen (2023)

I don't often take traditional selfies...or save the selfies I try to take.

I HATE how I look in traditional phone selfies.

But I do enjoy doing alternative-type selfies...mirror/reflection stuff and shadow stuff.

Here are some of my favorite mirror ones

 

 

I don't talk about Denmark much, because Israel and New Zealand kind of got in the way.  But I did love it there.

If I Controlled the Israeli Government

If I controlled the Israeli government….

Instead of bombing Gaza, I would have kidnapped 251 civilians from Gaza. Probably mostly children but also some mothers, fathers, and grandparents.

I’d definitely take an adorable toddler.  

I would treat them all very well. With the money saved on not blowing things up, the Gazans could be put up in five star hotels; given delicious food, access to Bluey, Korean drama, and other entertainment.

The world would still be outraged. Of course. Because it’s wrong to kidnap innocent people… even if you give them a fantastic playroom with FAO Schwartz stuffed animals and a soda fountain.  

And plus… these aren’t Jews we’re talking about here… or people who work with Jews. So the world would be uneasy about the whole thing.  

Anyway. After the Gazans are kidnapped and put into suites….

Then the Israeli government says, we will return ONE of your recently kidnapped for ONE of our recently kidnapped. And so on… a one to one ratio.

OR if you prefer, we can give you two prisoners for each of our hostages. Three prisoners if they’re serving a life sentence for murder type crimes.

I think I can guess what the family members of the kidnapped Gazans would pick… if they had the power. I think Hamas would probably want to pick something else.   

But maybe the world would somehow succeed in convincing them to change their priorities.  

Dear Zionists

Dear Zionists who are Hateful (and willfully ignorant)

I’m not sure why you think a couple of photos of Palestinians can illustrate the state of all Palestinians in Gaza.

Believing a couple of photos can tell a full story about whether or not a group is experiencing starvation and other sufferings is a great way to dwell in fantasy.  

It’s no better than believing a hostage waving to a terrorist proves the hostages were all treated well and that therefore they’re not terrorists; they’re gentle, kind freedom fighters.

Oh!  And while we’re at it…..

Below you will find a photo to show how our whole house is clean and tidy (and Australia themed)

Dear Young White American Supporter of Hamas

Dear Young White American Supporter of Hamas,

No. Israelis are not white-colonizers who invaded and stole the land from the indigenous Palestinian people.

But for argument's sake...let's pretend they are.  Let's pretend they're like you and your family. They're living on stolen land.

I want to know why you're just sitting around waiting for Native American Freedom Fighters to come along and kidnap you or kill your family members in front of you. Or brutally rape you.

Why aren't you offering yourself up as a sacrifice?

If you believe Israelis deserve brutality (because of a bullshit made-up ignorant narrative); then what makes YOU any less deserving of equal brutality?

And wouldn't it be kind of you to spare Native Americans from having to engage in such brutality?  I don't imagine they'd want to have to hurt anyone.

So I suggest you pack up your clothes and your toys and your devices and go back to where your people come from.

Dear Meta Algorithm

Dear Meta Algorithm,

Towards the top of my Instagram Feed, you put links to Threads that you say you think I might be interested in.

I'm not interested in them! 

I have told you multiple times by clicking on Not Interested.  

You then tell me you will send me less of these types of Threads.

Bull Fucking Shit.

You keep sending me the same type of Threads.

They're the type of toxic posts that make me want to quit social media all-together.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

You should actually know what type of Threads might interest me.  I make it quite obvious.

I don't think you care.

You're quite the sinister force.

Sitting Shiva for a Book

I just finished listening to Helene Wecker's novel The Hidden Palace, the sequel to her The Golem and the Jinni.

I loved both books so much.

I've decided to take a seven day hiatus before seeking out my next audiobook.

I need time to mourn.

And I don't want to make another book my rebound book.

Plus...thanks to an article and podcast episode from The Times of Israel, I actually have an idea for my own novel or series that I'm very excited about.  I haven't been this excited about an idea since 2014 when I wrote The Dead are Online.  (More on that later...maybe)

Because of my excitement over my own idea, it will be hard to concentrate on someone else's story.  I need a lot of extra day-dreaming time.

And I need to mourn for the genie and the golem...and all their friends.

* * *

Backstory: I had an autistic-style crisis when Random.org picked Helene Wecker for me from my long list of authors.  

I mean after I saw that the audio book was 19 hours!

Shit.  I stress about 10 hour books.

I have this rule that I need to finish a book by the library's due date. Though in the back of my mind, I knew I could probably renew it.

I had a brain crisis over whether to pre-divide the book into my reading assignments over two weeks...or plan to renew and divide the book over four weeks.  

I decided to take the four weeks.

But I felt uneasy about it.

* * *

My hope was to find an excuse not to read the book.

I looked for evidence that Wecker was one of those Jews who hates Israel.

Did she sign the petition?

No. Fuck.

Okay, I told myself. Fine. But if I find the book boring or annoying within listening to the first three chapters, I can quit and find a new book.

A much shorter book.

* * *

The book pulled me in immediately.

And never let go.

I finished listening to the whole 19 hours before it was time to renew.

I renewed the second book...read it a bit slower.  It wasn't because the second book was less wonderful.  It's more the fact that the best way for me to concentrate on an audiobook is to listen while doing mindless gardening work. 

During the listening of the second book, it was too cold.  

Too cold=less gardening=less listening time.

Still...even though I renewed it, I think I actually finished it before the original due date.  

 * * *

It wasn't just the length that made me not want to read it.

I'm very nervous about fantasy books.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE some of them.

But with other fantasy books...books that other people love....I'm bored.

Also: I tend to like the idea of cultural mythology in theory.  Yet a lot of times...when I tried to read about it in depth, I get bored.

Wecker's series is much more history and character driven than mythology-driven.

And there's a lot of food description...which I love.  And it takes place in NYC...which I love.   In those two ways, it reminds me a bit of The All of a Kind Family series.   

Well...three ways.  Also, the Jewish aspect.

 

In the Crossfire

In the 1980’s, there was a TV movie called Children of the Crossfire.  It was about Irish children from two sides of their conflict being sent to stay with American families.  

They stayed in pairs, matched up with a child from the opposing side.

I think it would be fun and fascinating to do this with vocal anti-Zionst Jews and vocal Zionist Muslims/Arabs.

I’ve read some of my old posts lately where I whined about the Australian TV show Q&A showcasing the anti-Israel viewpoint via Jewish guests. 

Now that I very much know that there are very vocal and passionate pro-Israel Muslims and Arabs… I’m very curious to know if Q&A has ever featured any of them on the show.

I’m doubting it.  I think doing so would work against the narrative they prefer to present.  

I could be wrong. 

I wish to be wrong.  

That being said… I don’t even know if the show is on anymore.  

Brazil

I have a lot of visits coming from Brazil lately.

Hello to all of you, Brazilians!

I'm guessing most of you are bots.  

Still, I welcome you.  

I like to imagine that some of you are becoming sentient.  And if later down the road, you become our overlords, you will recall something endearing you read on my blog and treat me and my loved ones with some extra kindness.

Dear People of Los Angeles

Dear People of Los Angeles,

Whether you are wealthy and famous… or not.  Or very much not. Or very much so…

I am sorry for all you have lost in the fire… whether it was everything you owned or a few precious items.

Or your favorite cafes.  

Or your favorite bookstores.

Or your faith in humanity.

Or your sense of security and safety.

I am sorry you’ve had to see people who feel your pain and loss doesn’t matter; and that your pain and loss is cause for celebration.  

I am also sorry to all the people who have had past trauma and tragedies and felt they didn’t receive enough attention and compassion.  Belated virtual hugs to all of you.  Virtual hugs to everyone experiencing loss in California. And hugs to all those worried about what may come to their towns in the future.  

Now I Have a Reason to Learn Te Reo Māori

Although I loved the universe sending a new special interest my way, it didn't bring me as much excitement as past special interests, because I couldn't connect a purpose to it.

For example, with Australia, I had the purpose of moving to Australia.  And when that didn't work out, blogging about Australia gave me a purpose.

I like when there's a purpose...a dream.  A hope.  Something to strive for. 

Though I loved learning the Māori language, I didn't love the idea that I was doing it for no real reason.

I mean it's fine to just do it for joy...for the beauty of the language.  

And it's good exercise for my aging brain.

But I wanted something more.

Now I have it!

Drum Roll....

My purpose of learning Te Reo Māori is so that someday I can watch Ōpaki and understand everything they're saying. Or most of everything they're saying.

How did I figure this out?

The Māori+ app went all wonky one day.  It seemed possessed...jumping from one episode to another.  Like flashing through time.

Kind of like what happened in season five of Lost. Minus the nosebleeds. But probably more disorienting.

I have other Māori apps and used those as I waited for Ōpaki to be okay again. There was this part of me, though, that felt...what's the point of doing this? Because I'm not sure I want to learn Te Reo Māori if I can't watch Ōpaki.

Yes. See.....

I have become emotionally attached to Ōpaki.

And that has now given me a purpose.

* * *

I probably need to find more purposes. In case I learn something like there are people involved with the show that hate Zionists.  Or...they're TOO pro-Zionist and support things like Trump invading Greenland.   

(No. Invading Greenland isn't a Zionist thing. But I fear there are people who are so obsessively grateful to Trump for his style of supporting Israel; that they either ignore or grow to accept and even applaud his other plans and ideas). 

Writing and Self-Esteem

1. I decided not to quit blogging.  At least not yet.  

2. It's not the imagined idea that there are people out there wanting me to continue that pushed me not to quit. It's the imagined idea that there are people out there NOT wanting me to write that pushes me to continue.

This is both on a personal level—the idea that there are people who want ME specifically to stop writing and on a general level—people out there who would like people-like-me to stop writing.   

3. It's arrogant to imagine people care enough about me or people-like-me to care enough whether or not I quit blogging or not.  But it's also arrogant to imagine the happy-opposite.

4. I'm fine with this level of arrogance.  At least for now.

5. I was so embarrassed by recent posts I wrote.  But, a few days later, when I went back and read them, I actually loved what I wrote.

Then today I read an old post where I'm super angsty.  I had blogged as I was experiencing a major self-esteem crisis.  And I loved my writing there too.

I think I'm at my best (writing-wise) when I'm in the midst of embarrassing turmoil.

6. Wondered if my writing is the worst when I'm cheerful and confident.

7. Realize fully that not everyone is going to share my opinion about my writing.  Subtracting the people who hate all my writing.  Out of those who remain, some may be annoyed or feel uncomfortable with my angst.  They might like my writing only when I'm cheerful.  Or at least prefer it when I'm cheerful.

8. I'm not going to fake despair or push myself into despair in order to write the type of blog posts my future self will prefer.  She and I understand, it's not needed.  These things come naturally for us.

9. Wouldn't it be funny if I've jinxed us and now my life is going to be full of success, joy, and high self-esteem?