Showing posts with label Australian television. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Australian television. Show all posts

Radhika Budhwar

I finally finished watching Dumb Drunk and Racist (not Dead, Drunk and Racist).  

During the credits, they listed the four Indian stars. I paused the program so I could do some stalking.

I love Internet stalking.

I found one absolute treasure.

One of the stars (Radhika Budhwar) has a blog about the show.  

I actually didn't know who she was at first, because when I watched the show I didn't really pay attention to the names.

It took a little reading to figure it out.

The blog is great.  Radhika is insightful and hilarious.

It's also a great reminder that reality TV is not entirely real.  I mean it's not necessarily fake.  But it's heavily edited and gives us only a tiny glimpse of a much bigger picture.

Radhika says: It moves so fast in the 1st episode I just saw! The tightest editing possible. 50k miles of experiences and footage condensed into a few minutes- the edit suite must be full of really determined talented scissor-hands. 

Radhika had adventures that were not shown in the program. For example, she did the shark dive thing.  And she had some lovely Chai tea moments at her hotel.  

The other thing that my brain knows, but often forgets when watching (I'm sure it's the same case with a lot of other people): the trip wasn't a five person thing. It wasn't just Joe, Amer, Mahima, and Gurmeet.  There was a crew.

On this post she has a photo. There are five extra people.  

There's the director, and other helpful people. 

It's one of those illusions of television.

I used to do a lot of video and editing back when Jack was young. I'm rarely in the videos, and it looks like I was hardly around.   

There was one video in particular.  We were in Florida. The three of us went to get breakfast at the hotel.  I edited the video later, and it ended up looking like a lovely father-son bonding time. It looks like the mom went off to get her nails done or something.  

In reality, I was totally there.  

Then there's the question of whether reality TV provides a true portrait of someone. 

I didn't dislike Radhika on the show, but I didn't particularly like her. She didn't really seem like my kind of person.

Her blogging personality is a totally different story. She's totally my type of person. She's adorable and hilarious.  I love her writing style.

Was this a case of bad editing? Or is it simply a case of different sides of one person's personality? 

I'm very different on my blog than I am offline.  The blog is more me.  I let my hair down. I'm more relaxed.  

I went through a stage where my offline me began to resemble my blogging me.   But that's died down a lot.  

I think the only person who gets a more true-to-form relaxed version of me is Jack.  ALTHOUGH.... that me is quite different from the blogging me. The blog gets the pour-my-heart-out version of Dina.  Jack gets the very-silly version of Dina.  Both of them are really me. It's not like one side is fake.   It's just different sides of me.

The rest of the offline people get a very tiny proportion of me.  I feel guilty about that sometimes, but they seem totally fine with it.  So I shouldn't feel guilt. At least not on their behalf.    I think they prefer another version of Dina: quiet, reserved, helpful, good listener....maybe somewhat mysterious. I get the feeling that they're not big fans of Blogger Dina. 

I wonder if people who read my blog on a regular basis would like offline Dina. Would they prefer that side of me?  Or would they dislike it?

I liked blogging Radhika better than the documentary Radhika. I wonder if other people felt the opposite. They night see the program and think she's adorable; then read her blog and become disappointed. 

For those of you who blog.....

Question:  Do you feel your blogging self is very similar to your offline self?   If you feel you're very different offline, do you wish that wasn't so? 

Who do you like better?  Your blogging self or offline self?  

The Nominees For Most Racist Country Are.....

On the June 18 episode of Q and A, one of the panelists was an American-Australian astrophysicist— Brian Schmidt.  

The subject came around to racism.

Tony Jones asked Schmidt if he thought Australia was more racist than America.

Schmidt said yes.  Or at least Australia is more tolerant of racism.

I'm not going to argue against his personal experience. We all have our own lives and observations.   If I saw what he saw, maybe I'd agree.

For now though.  I'm going to write from my own experiences.

From this, I feel, past and present, that Australia and America are equally racist.

Things have gotten better in both countries; but they're still not great.  

Not only are Australians and Americans equally guilty of racism; but we both also are equally guilty of accusing the other of being more racist.

I've witnessed Americans accusing Australia of being more racist. The astrophysicist wasn't the first.   And I've seen Australians stating or inferring that America is more racist.  

We may not have the same accent. 

We may pronounce schedule in totally different ways.

But we're pretty much the same when it comes to racism. 

Hopefully both countries will improve for the future.

Hopefully ALL countries will improve.

Are there countries less racist than America and Australia?  

If there are, I don't imagine they're MUCH less racist.  

Amanda Vanstone

Thanks to the Q and A episode from March 5, 2012; I've been introduced to Amanda Vanstone. 

She was a senator from the Liberal Party.

I consulted Lord Wiki about her.  If my first introduction to Vanstone had been from him, I probably wouldn't be too fond of her.  I mean I don't think I'd despise her.  But I can't imagine reading it and thinking, She's my type of person.  

But on Q and A, she seems pretty cool.

She supports gay marriage.

On Q and A, she had a nice little speech about how she believes in people being independent from the government, but what helps that along is people being dependent on another within a marriage. So, I guess she's very pro-marriage, whether it be heterosexual or homosexual.  

I also like her attitude towards wealth.  She believes it doesn't necessarily make you a good person; but it also doesn't guarantee you're a bad person.  She's against villainizing the wealthy. I like that.

Then also, in the beginning of the program, she shared her mother's philosophy.  

Vanstone says that some people are born less lucky than others.  Whatever God you believe in is going to be very busy taking care of these people.    If you are one of the lucky ones, it's rude to take up God's time if you can easily take care of yourself.

Hearing it in context, I'm thinking she's using god as an analogy for the government. 

What she says makes sense to me.

I can't get in line with some conservatives.   They have the believe that hard work will give you a good life.  Period.   If you want it enough, and you work hard enough, you'll be successful.   Your ethnic group, gender, socioeconomic background, etc?  None of that matters.

They don't believe in luck.

Then there are conservatives who might believe in luck, but they follow a social Darwinism view of life.   Help yourself. Help your own family. If the unfortunate have awful lives, well, that's their lot in life. 

Anyway....

I guess what I'm saying is Amanda Vanstone's viewpoints irritate me less than most other conservative viewpoints I've encountered.

Maybe that's because she's not overly conservative.  

David Campbell

Lately I've been thinking it would be funny if celebrities auditioned for the blind auditions on The Voice. 

Well...my wish has come true.

In my music research adventures I came across a guy named David Campbell.   He's a celebrity, and he snuck into the blind auditions as a joke.  



None of the coaches seemed to recognize his voice.  Keith Urban and Delta Goodrem recognized him as soon as they turned around.  They seemed amused.  The American and British coach looked completely lost.  I feel put off by their ignorance, but I shouldn't. I didn't know who David Campbell was until about five minutes ago.   

Lord Wiki has informed me that he's the son of Jimmy Barnes.

Cool!

I know Jimmy Barnes' daughter also auditioned for the show...for real and not as a joke.  She got put on a team.

Well, and I just saw she was eliminated in the battle rounds.

I'm seeing all kinds of interesting things from Lord Wiki.

Such as....

Jimmy Barnes has Jewish ancestry.

David Campbell was raised by his grandmother and didn't know at first that Jimmy Barnes was his father.  He thought he was a family friend.  I'm guessing the grandmother wasn't Jimmy Barnes' mother.   Otherwise I imagine they'd try to pass Jimmy Barnes off as Campbell's older brother. Isn't that what people usually do in those types of situations?

Here's a video of Jimmy Barnes and David Campbell singing together.



Oh....I found something else fun.

David Campbell was in an American animated film called Joseph: King of Dreams.   He did the singing voice for Joseph.  

Here is a video from that movie.



I'm guessing that's supposed to be Joseph. If it's not, than it's not David Campbell singing. But I think it probably is.

Australian Songs on The Voice

I was so excited while watching the recent episode of The Voice.

One of the contestants (Juliet Simms) sang an Aussie song!  And it's the song I recently talked about in a post—Natalie Imbruglia's "Torn".
  
On top of that, I consulted Lord Wiki about the Australian version of The Voice. 

I made a mistake in my last post and assumed the auditions were over.  But they weren't.

There was another two rounds.  And in the last round, three contestants chose to sing Australian songs.

Virginia Lillye sang "Highway to Hell" by AC/DC.   Matty Chap sang "20 Good Reasons" by Thirsty Merc.   Tamara Stewart sang "Dumb Things" by Paul Kelly.    

Sadly, two out of those three did not get chosen for a team.   I don't think it's a tragedy for them though, because I'm not convinced winning these contests is that much of a boost to anyone's life and/or career.



Anorexia, Quotas, Fears, and Gundagai

1. Felt guilty when I saw that one of my iGoogle headlines, from the ABC, was about the rise of childhood Anorexia.   

I went to read the article.  They said the Westmead Children's Hospital in NSW told them that admissions for childhood anorexia has tripled in the last decade.  

That's very sad.

Mia Freedman, a body image specialist, talks about how parents are so stressed about the two monsters looming on the opposite sides of the fence.   On one side you have the terrifying obesity monster.  On the other side, you have the crazed self-starvation monster.

How do we protect children from both obesity and anorexia?   

One thing Mia Freedman says is we should be good role-models.  We shouldn't complain about being fat in front of our children.  This is probably especially true if we're not fat.

Last night I complained about being fat to Tim, in front of Jack.

I was feeling awful about myself.  I needed reassurance. So I partook in the awfully pathetic activity of fishing for a compliment.

I said to Tim.  I'm not as fat as I look.  

I wanted to hear What? You don't look fat.  And you're not fat.

What I got was, You're right.  You're not that fat.

I fished for a compliment and got a boot...that kicked me in the gut.

We fought about it.  I became even more whiny and pathetic.

Tim claimed he meant that we all HAVE fat. We're all fat.

I think there's a big difference between having fat and BEING fat.

Is it even medically possible to have 0% body fat?  I doubt it.

Anyway,

I guess my thing is, medically speaking I'm not fat.  My BMI is in the normal range.  Every so often, it creeps up into the overweight range, but never more than a few pounds.

But with today's standard of beauty, I'm a fatty.  I look at myself in the mirror and in pictures and don't see what equals beauty in our society,

A part of me wonders, even if I'm a good woman and keep my negativity to myself, will it matter to the children in my life?  Can it counteract all the messages of skinny=beautiful that they receive?

I tried to fight against it.  I have failed. Can I expect them to fare better?  

Well, I'll try my best to have a better attitude—at least when talking out loud.

2. Finished reading Dragon Man.  Finally.   

It took a long time because I alternated my reading time between that and a zombie novel.  

3. Started reading Mac Slater Hunts The Cool by Tristan Bancks.  It's a kids book.

I wonder if Jack would like it.  

4. Had a movie playing in the motel room.  It's with Hugh Jackman, and has vampires and werewolves.  Maybe it's Van Helsing?  

We don't have the internet here, so I can't look it up.

I think maybe David Wenham is in the movie as well. 

5. Watched credits of movie.

David Wenham IS one of the stars. Richard Roxburgh is in it too.  

6. Had a lucid dream in which I'm searching for Julian McMahon.  I used to have these dreams a lot.  Now I have them every so often.

In last night's dream: I'm in a new location, not one I usually go to in my lucid dreams.  It has a big sports arena.  I go up to people and ask if they've seen Julian McMahon.   A few say yes, and say he's here.  I feel hopeful that this time I might actually find him.  

At one point I tell people I'm a stalker, but they don't need to worry because I'm not dangerous.  I only do the stalking thing in my dreams, not in real life.

Later I go near the sports arena.  I find this blond guy with an accent.  He seems to be German, maybe?   I ask him if he's seen Julian McMahon.   He says he IS Julian McMahon. But his name is spelled a bit differently.  I get the idea that this is the Julian McMahon everyone has been talking about when I asked.  

7. Wondered what my dream self plans to do when I find Julian McMahon.  

Maybe I'll try to sell him Girl Scout Cookies?

8. Looked at my Statcounter.  Several Americans  have come to my blog using keywords along the lines of Qantas and Jews.

What's the deal with that?

9. Counted the Americans.  There were seven of them. The first came at 9:25 pm and the last came at 12:01 am.

Maybe there was something on the news about Jews and Qantas.

Maybe some comedian made a joke?

10. Saw another topic bringing Americans to my blog today—Thelma Keane.  I've had nine people visiting via keywords related to the Keane family.

What's up with that?

11. Googled and found out that Bill Keane died today.

Jack and I are both fans of his work.  I loved The Family Circus when I was a child; then a few year ago, Jack got really into it.

Well, I'm hoping Keane's reunited with his wife...out there...somewhere.

12. Went to bed, had a long sleep, and lots of dreams.  Some of them were related to Australia or Australians.

In one, I seem to be part of a new family or group of friends.  I feel loved and accepted by them.   At one point, I think of telling one of them that when I die I'd like to be buried with an Australian flag.   In my mind I'm picturing an Australian flag towel.  Then I decide not to say that, because it sounds melodramatic.   

In another dream, we're living in Chattanooga Tennessee in some kind of temporary situation.  A bunch of other people are part of this temporary situation, including some Australians. And one of the Australians is my friend Gina.

It's not like we're on holiday.  We're living regular lives. Gina has a job working at a shop nearby.

I think about how I love living here, and I begin to wish it wasn't temporary.

That dream ended for awhile.  But then it came back....sort of.

Tim has cooked this elaborate dinner for my family. It includes some fabulous desserts.   I start to think there's way too much food for us.  I decide it would be better if we had more people to eat with us.  I think about Gina who works nearby.   I consider inviting her over for dinner.  It would be very last minute because we're eating in 20-30 minutes.  But I figure there might be a chance she's available.

I consider asking my family first, and then decide there's no need.   They won't mind.

But then I start to question that.  Maybe there's enough food in my eyes, but my family might see things differently.  

13. Angered by what I read on this editorial by Nick O'Byrne.  Apparently a group called Commercial Radio Australia wants to put an end to the rule that says radio stations have to dedicate a portion of their playing time to local artists.

According to O'Byrne, contemporary commercial radio stations in Australia must use 6.25% of their playing time for Aussie music.  I think that's not enough Australian music.   Some people from the radio stations think 6.25% is way too much.  They don't want to torture their poor listeners with songs by Missy Higgins, Cold Chisel, Nick Cave, Angus and Julia Stone, Hilltop Hoods, Sarah Blasko, Jessica Mauboy, etc.

I don't know.  It's just a horrible thing for these radio stations to say. What they're saying is that Australian music isn't good enough.

That's ridiculous. The problem with Australian music is that it's ignored.

I think it's sad enough that it's ignored here in America.   There are so many fantastic Australian songs, and I'm sad that so few Americans have heard of many of them.

But for musicians to be rejected by their own local music stations?

It's crazy.

Personally, if I was in Australia, I'd protest this attitude by never listening to commercial radio stations.  I'd stick to the ones willing to play a LOT of Australian music.   

14. Went to the website of Commercial Radio Australia. I'm wondering if I can get some insight into the issue.

15. Found page about supporting Australian artists. They say they have quotas to fill, but the page itself doesn't express complaint about these quotas.

I'm wondering if it's a faction within Commercial Radio Australia that wants an end to the quotas, rather than the organization as a whole.

16. Found an article about the radio issue.  

Commercial Radio Australia's complaint is that they have to follow the quotas while internet music stations do not.

So is their complaint that people are listening to the internet more than regular radio?

I don't know statistics; but I know that I rarely listen to the regular radio anymore.

Then again, I don't really listen to internet radio either.  I listen to iTunes or videos on YouTube.

I think it's fair for Commercial Radio Australia to want the rules to apply to internet radio as well.   But I don't think they should be fighting against the quota.

They should be eager and proud to play Australian music.

17. Reread some of O'Byrne's editorial.

I misread the statistics a little bit.

Australian radio stations are actually required to dedicate 25% of their playing time to Aussie music.   That's fair.  It's better than only 6.25%.

The 6.25% refers to NEW Aussie music.   New Australian artists are getting only 6.25% of radio-playing time.  It's going to be hard to boost their careers at that level.  How are they going to compete with other artists who are getting much more playtime?

18. Went to Tallygarunga.

Today I'm going to be reading a story thread called Fear, Itself.

I wonder if I'll feel totally lost while reading it.

Did a lot happen while I was away?

19. Saw that the story involves Jack Dalton and Reade Ainsworth.

It takes place in the dueling classroom in the Eureka Underground Hallway.  

20.  Confused.

The story is supposed to take place on November 11.

Yet the first two posts were posted on October 14.   I've never seen Tally writers go so far in the future.

I'm wondering if originally the story was supposed to take place in October, and then maybe they changed it?   

21. Started reading.

The story takes place after the Quidditch field incident.  That's when Reade fought back and hurt Jackson.  Now Jackson is seeking revenge by meeting up with Reade after their potions class.

22. Felt sad for Reade. He's going through all that crap with Arti being in the hospital. Then he has to deal with Jackson as well.

One thing I've learned, in the past few years, is that some people don't hold back their meanness when you're having a hard time in life.

People will kick you when you're up, and they'll also happily kick you when you're down.

That's not to say that people should hold back all complaints and be sweeter than Stevia when we're having a bad day, week, month, or year.  But they could try to have a LITTLE extra compassion.

Couldn't Jackson wait until Arti was out of the hospital, and then attack Reade?

Well, no because he's a bully.  And bullies tend to lack compassion and empathy.

23. Confused by the story again.

But now I've figured it out.

There were these people talking to Jackson while he had Reade paralyzed with some spell. I couldn't figure out what was going on.

It turns out Jackson his having some type of hallucination-type thing.  He's seeing/hearing his parents.  They're there to criticize him.

That's the thing about parental criticism.   It sticks around even when your parents are far away.  

24. Found out that Jackson isn't having mental-type hallucinations.  He's encountered a Boggart.   In the Harry Potter universe, these are spirits that take on the form of our biggest fears. The way to fight them is to imagine the fear in a silly way.

Jackson imagines his parents roller skating in spandex.

25. Learned that Jackson himself brought the Boggart into school.  He planned to use it against Reade.  He's still planning to do that, but he himself got a little taste of the nastiness.  

26. Got an explanation for the weird timing of the post.

In small print Jackson's role-player says OOC: Due to my unexpected hiatus, the date of the scene in this thread has been moved forward to present time.

That makes sense.  And I think it was a wise choice.

27. Hoped nothing bad happened to cause the unexpected hiatus.  Jackson's role-player is very nice.

That's not to say I'd be okay with a bad thing happening to a not-so-nice role-player.  

Maybe something great happened to cause the hiatus.  That would be fun.

28. Touched by Reade's ability to have empathy for Jackson.

His post says, From what they were saying Reade started to realise that they were Jackson's parents and that they were very disappointed in their son. Despite the current situation, being body-bound and scared he was about to get beaten up, Reade's heart went out to the other boy. He couldn't imagine what it would be like if his own parents spoke to him like that.

Reade does have very nice parents.  He's lucky. But he could still find excuses to be miserable and cruel.

And there are probably lots of kids who have disapproving parents.  Not all of them turn out to be bullies.

29. Left with a bit of a cliffhanger.  Reade is about to face his biggest fear. He doesn't know what that is, and I don't either.

I guess we'll find out soon.

30. Thought of my two biggest fears.   I've faced both of them in nightmares and bad dreams.   I survived.   As long as it's not real, it's not too bad.  Since the scary things don't happen in lucid dreams, I don't know they're fake.  I think it's real.  But then I wake up and I feel relieved.

31. Saw that my Australian of the year is Caroline Lillian Archer.   

She was a telephonist.

I'm not sure what that means.

Maybe it's an operator?

Archer also worked with causes involving Aboriginal rights.

32. Saw that Archer was born on February 22 in 1922.   That's a lot of 22.   In numerology, 22 is a master number.

Oh...and February is the 2nd month of the year.

Archer had a lot of 2's in her birthday.  It would be 2/22/22.

33. Learned that Archer was born in an Aboriginal Reserve in Cherbourg, Queensland.  Her father was white, and her mother was Aboriginal.

Back when Archer was born, Queensland had a policy of segregating the Aboriginal people from the other people. So that's why she was living on a reserve.

Archer had a rough childhood.  She didn't get enough to eat.  This caused ill health and a permanent limp.

34. Learned that when Archer was fourteen, she went to work for some white people—the Kay family.  It seems they were fairly decent. They paid Archer a white person's wages and they also gave her career encouragement.

Encouragement is a really nice thing. I think it gives us strength, and that strength makes it more likely we'll succeed.  But if we do end up failing, it hurts less when we know people have been genuinely behind us.

35. Continued to read about Archer.  The Australian Dictionary of Biography says she gained switchboard skills.  I'm guessing that refers to being a telephone operator.

Archer was able to obtain full citizen's rights.  This was not something that came automatically to Aboriginal people. But Archer was able to obtain it by meeting some standards.

36. Learned that Archer was involved with an organization called OPAL (One People of Australia League).  The purpose of the organization was to bring Aboriginal and non-Aboriginal people together.

37. Found information on the National Museum of Australia's website about One People of Australia League.  

It was a pro-assimilation organization.

I'm guessing that means they wanted Aboriginal people to act more white.

It fits in with what the Australian Dictionary of Australia says about Caroline Archer.

They say.....she was consciously 'middle of the road' in her views; she had little regard for radical solutions to racial issues and referred to herself as an 'Australian first and then an Aborigine.  

38. Thought about the way people define themselves.  In some ways, it can make us feel more secure.  It helps give us an identity.  But then I also think it can put up a wall between us and others.

If I define myself by my gender, then I put up a wall against men.

If I define myself by my nationality, I put up a wall against people that are not American.

If I define myself by my spiritual beliefs, I put up a wall against those who believe differently.

If I define myself by my ethnicity, I put up a wall against those who aren't from the same ethnic group.

39. Decided I'll just define myself as being weird.

I guess I'll have a wall up against those who aren't weird—those who are boring, blah, and don't show ability to think for themselves.

40. Decided most people though are at least a LITTLE weird.

41. Wondered if maybe all people are weird. It's probably just that some folks try harder to hide it.  

42. Liked that non-human animals can also fit into the weird catagory.

Both my cats are very weird.

All my childhood dogs were weird.  

43. Wished I could divide the world into nice and mean people. It would make life a lot more easier for me.

I'm so confused right now about things.

Right now I have a wall up against pretty much everyone.  Or at least I try to keep it up.   At weak moments I let it come down.  Then I usually regret it afterwards.

I feel this collective anger towards almost everyone. The exception is Jack.

Then someone will say or do something sweet.  It will usually give me tears, and then I'll feel guilty for sticking them in the same category of all those who are annoying me right now.  What makes things worse is I'll then start thinking of other nice things they've said and done in the past.  I'll feel awful for forgetting those things.

But then just as I'm starting to think, maybe I DO have people I can stick in the can-be-counted-on category, I remember times that they weren't nice to me.

44. Figured the best way to be able to love people is have extremely low expectations of them.

But then when I do that....

Well, I feel like a total snob.

In most of my relationships, I let the other person do most of the talking.   They talk about their lives—their achievements, problems, and news.   Some of them read my blog and so it evens out somewhat.  I may not give a lot on a one-to-one basis, but they get some stuff by coming here.  

Other people don't read my blog and it's usually a one way street. They open up to me, and I try hard to stay as closed as possible to them.

It makes me feel strong in the same way I felt strong when having an eating disorder.  It's that feeling we get watching other people eat huge sundaes while we have the self-discipline to sit there eating a raw apple.  

There's a sense of superiority.

But there's also a huge sense of loneliness and deprivation.

Sometimes we might give in and eat the big sundae.  It feels so good.  It tastes so good. There's a sense of relief...of belonging.   There's that question.  Can I leave this deprivation behind?   Can I allow myself to be like everyone else?   At the same time, though, there's worry and guilt.  There's a feeling of weakness and failure.

Then later the good feelings go away. We're left with a stomach ache and higher numbers on the bathroom scale.

Note: I'm just being symbolic here.  These days I'm usually perfectly happy to eat a sundae.  We shared three at Disney World.    

45. Thought about my talking-anorexia.  I'm borrowing that phrase from John Marsden's novel I Have So Much To Tell You.  Although her cause was much more severe.  She literally stopped speaking.

I still speak.  I haven't become mute, or anything.

Anyway, it all started in February 2008 and I've had the problems off and on since then.

It started with something so stupid.  If I told a therapist, they'd probably have to leave the room in order to not start laughing at me.

So...here's the story.

I was having MAJOR marriage problems.   I had been feeling the problems for many years, and kept them secret.  Then, finally, I started opening up to people.   Some tried to be supportive, but I could tell they thought I was a cold-hearted bitch who should just shut up and be happy.

In February.....

We had recently been in Australia, and I was very depressed about coming back to America.

My sister was leaving in a few weeks to go to Australia.  I was extremely jealous of her.

For Valentines' Day, Tim took some of our Australia trip photos and turned them into a poster.  I was supposed to love it.   Instead I hated it and felt so angry.    I didn't see it as Tim giving me an Australia-related gift.  I saw it as him showing off his photography and making it look like he was the most romantic husband on the planet.    I knew my family would see it and think, how lucky you are to have Tim.  Why can't you appreciate him? He gives such thoughtful gifts!

But I saw the gift as being thoughtful only on the surface.  The main reason for this, were the pictures Tim chose for the poster.  For example, there were ones from Luna Park, and I didn't like Luna Park.   Jack got hurt there and the clown was creepy to me.  It was one of the few things about Australia that I didn't like.  I felt if Tim really knew me and loved me, he would have known that and kept off the pictures of Luna Park.

I also thought he should have included some of the pictures that I had taken—displayed some of my photography.   It kind of symbolized the way I often felt in the relationship.  I have often felt Tim LOVES to do things for me. But I often feel he doesn't love and appreciate what I do for him, or what I do in general.  

It all sounds very silly. I know.  

And....

Yeah. I'm very picky when it comes to gifts.  But you have to understand that my mind was already very troubled at the time.  My heart was blackened.  At other times, I'd likely appreciate the gift and shrug my shoulders at the choice of photos.  

The other thing was that I had recently opened up to one of my sister's about my marriage problems.  She wasn't very empathetic.  Then a few days later, she called (or emailed) Tim behind my back to get help on something.  She made plans with Tim to come over so she could get help from him. I do believe that in-laws can have friendships regardless of the relationship status of the spouses.   But for her to do that so soon after I had talked about my marriage problems?  It was a slap in the face.

 Something snapped in me and I spent the next few months not opening up to anyone. I built up a huge wall.  Not many people noticed. Or at least they showed no evidence of caring. Some people seemed to love this side of me. They loved that they could talk and talk while I'd just listen.   I wouldn't bore them with the details of my own life.

In late Spring, I got over it and slowly started opening up to people.  Some of the results of this were positive.  Some of them were very negative.

Relapses started to occur when I realized more often the results were negative than positive.

Having this blog has helped probably in some ways.  It's the one person who will sit there and listen to me.   It's not really a person, though.  It's an internet program, but it's made up of people listening.   Maybe.

Sometimes I think people skip over all this personal stuff.

Actually, I often think that.

Or I figure they roll their eyes at me.

I'm rarely able to imagine people reading and feeling sympathetic.

I think they're bored.  I think they're saying, Just shut up and get back to the Australia stuff. 

46. Thought about something someone has said to me recently—about no longer caring what people think of them.  I wish I could get to that point.  And maybe I AM getting there.

I started to think, I'm going to lose readers if I keep blabbing on and on about all this. Then I thought, I don't really care at this point.

I'm sick of doing things to please other people.

I'm sick of worrying that I'm going to alienate people.

I'm sick of forcing myself to make jokes so I don't sound absolutely miserable. And no I'm not absolutely miserable all the time.  Most of the time I'm happy.  Despite my angst, I had a GREAT time at Disney World.   We all did.  But there have been moments in the past few weeks where I've felt awful.  And I'm sick of feeling I have to lighten the mood (during these moments) so I don't scare people away.

I guess maybe now I WANT people to go away—at least the ones that make me feel I have to be happy, funny, and self-sacrificing all the time.  

47. Figured I'll have a ton of regret if I don't delete this stuff from my blog.

But I think I'll have even more regret if I DO delete it.

Oh well......

48. Decided to get back to the Australia stuff.

Right now I'm not feeling a lot of the Australia love.

I think it's because I'm wrapped up in my own problems.

And then there's that uncertainty of whether we're going to Australia or not.   That complicates things.   I look at names of places and think, We're going to go there!  No wait we're not going to go there.  Or maybe we are going to go there.  Are we going to go there? Maybe we're going to go there.  Then again....maybe we're not going to go there.  

Seriously.  I'm a mess.

I should just love Australia—every little bit, and not worry if I'm going to see it in person or not.   If I give love to only the places we plan to visit,  I'll probably be sick of them by the time we get there.

49. Thought about another one of my psychological issues. I've felt stupid, ashamed, and annoying by keep changing our we're-going-to-Australia news.  Why?!

How is it going to hurt or bother anyone by us going to Australia or not going to Australia?   I know there are a few people who will be happy to see us, but they won't be destroyed if we don't come to visit.  And even if they're sweet enough to be disappointed, I don't think they'll blame us for having to change our plans.

Most people understand financial restraints, health restraints, etc.  

At least I hope so.

50. Looked at the Australia Monopoly Board.

Today my space is Sydney Station.

What is Sydney Station?

I don't remember a Sydney Station.

I remember a Central Station.  Is that what they're referring to?  Or is there an actual Sydney Station?

51. Found out from Lord Wiki that the board is referring to Central Station.

Thank you, Lord Wiki.   Now I feel a little less dumb.

52. Learned that the main station in Sydney used to be called Sydney Station.  

Lord Wiki is talking about it's history.  I'm a bit confused. But there's some station that was built over a former cemetery.  They had to move the graves.  Hopefully, they moved the bodies and not just the headstones, like the realtor company did in Poltergeist.  

53. Did some more reading.  The station built on the old grave site was Redfern Station.

If I'm understanding things right, this was the main station prior to Central Station being the main station.

54. Learned that part of Central Station has been transformed into a hostel. The rooms look like old train carriages.

Didn't I read about that recently?

55. Looked at a website about the Railway Square Hostel. 

I don't think I've been to the site before, but the idea sounds so familiar to me.   Maybe I read about it somewhere else?  

56. Read reviews about the hostel.  Apparently the rooms are right near the platforms of the working trains.  You can hear the people waiting for the trains.  

57. Found a new Flickr account to stalk.

I didn't find it in my usual way.

I found it because I looked on Flickr for photos of the Railway Square Hostel.

I found some photos on an account called Fredweng. The account belongs to a guy named Ling Chih Weng.

I looked at his sets.  There's a bunch of Australian ones.   I thought, this might be a fun account to stalk.

I'm excited.

But I'm probably going to wait until tomorrow to start my stalking.  

58. Thought about my issues again.

Sometimes I'll feel guilty for holding things back from people.   I get the delusion that people want me to open up and talk more.  I'll decide to say something. I expect that they'll be excited and eager to hear from me—that they'll listen extra carefully to make sure I'll keep on talking.

Usually, they end up looking really bored. They interrupt. They seem eager to get the conversation back towards themselves.

This happened with a friend.  I had gone back to a stage of holding back from her.  I let her do all the talking.   She went on and on about happenings in her life.  I dutifully listened.  Then I had a moment of weakness and said something about my own life.  No, actually it wasn't even about my life directly.  I shared a fact about boomerangs.

She gave me this look.

I don't know how to interpret it really.  I mean MAYBE she was interested and just didn't know how to show it.  Maybe I misread her facial expression.  But to me she looked annoyed that I dared to bring up something that wasn't about her life.  

59. Wanted to clarify that I didn't randomly bring up boomerangs.  Then my friend's look would have been along the lines of, Oh, that's so random.  Why is she bringing that up now?  

No.   We were in the swimming pool.  And there was a Nerf boomerang.   I told her that not all boomerangs come back to you.  The ones for hunting aren't supposed to do that.   I wanted her to say Oh cool.  Really.  I never knew that.    It would be a bit less fun if she already knew that.  But then she could have said,  Oh yeah.  I heard that before!   Instead she gave this kind of uh huh response.  Or maybe she said nothing.  It was either nothing or close to nothing.

60. Thought about how my eating disorder and talking issues are very similar.  In both, I have delusions that people will want me to get well.   I imagine they want me to talk more, eat a healthy balanced diet, and have a positive body image.

But in the end....in most cases, it's bullshit.

Most people want me to be quiet and they want me to be skinny.

61. Decided "most" is probably too strong a word.

Maybe instead I'll say "too many"

Or I can just say there's enough people with that attitude to make me feel a bit sad.   

62. Decided to take a Funtrivia quiz about Gundagai. 

I'll probably get most of it wrong.

I can't even remember what state Gundagai is in.  I want to say New South Wales. But it could be Queensland or South Australia.

63. Got the first question wrong and learned the name Gundagai is derived from the Aboriginal phrase gundabandoo-bingee.

64. Wished I knew the lyrics of one of the Gundagai songs.  That would probably help me answer the questions.

65. Got the second question wrong and learned the Aboriginal group originally in the Gundagai area are known as Wiradjuri.  They sound familiar to me.

The quiz answer mentions New South Wales.  So maybe I got at least that bit right about Gundagai. 

66. Consulted Lord Wiki about the Wiradjuri people.  He says they're from the central part of New South Wales.

Mum Shirl was one of them.

67. Got the third question right and the fourth question wrong.   Now I know that there was a bad flood in Gundagai in June 1852.

The quiz answer says the town was moved because of the flood.

It was another one of those moved towns—like that one in the Snowy Mountains.  I forgot the name.

I'll read about the moving of Gundagai after I finish the quiz. If I look now, I'm afraid I'll end up accidentally cheating on the quiz.

68. Got questions five, six, and seven right—mostly from guessing.

I got the eighth one wrong thinking, of course, Jack O'Hagan didn't write a song called "When a Boy From Alabama Meets a Girl From Gundagai".

It turns out he did write a song with that name.

69.  Finished the quiz.   I got a 6/10 which is the average score.   It's not too bad for a tough quiz.

I'm not that proud of myself, though.   Most of my correct answers were a matter of good luck.

I did well on guessing today.

70.  Consulted Lord Wiki about Gundagai.  The original town in it's original location was founded in 1838.

In 1852, the flood killed 78-89 out of the 250 inhabitants. Then the town was moved.

71. Tried to remember the name of the town in The Snowy Mountains that was moved.

I know it starts with an A.

I'll look on Google Maps. If I see it, I'll know it.

72.  Found the town on Google Maps.

The name is Adaminaby.  

On the map, you can see the old and new location of the town.  The old one seems to be in the middle of a lake....and it is.   A few years ago, during the drought, some of the town started to resurface.  

73. Wanted to remind people that Tim eventually ended up giving me a fantastic Australia-related gift.   He struggled and succeeded in getting me access to watching Offspring. 

I really loved that gift.   It was thoughtful, enjoyable, and I was very impressed with what he went through to get me the gift.  

I like when people do things for me.  But what I love is when people show they KNOW me.   I like when people show that they've been listening and paying attention.  I liked that Tim knew how much I wanted to watch Offspring.

74. Wanted to add a piece of information about my dream last night. I meant to talk about it earlier; but I forgot.

There was another dream that might have been connected to the one in which I'm part of a new family.  I had a new man in my life (which might explain the new family).  He was a sports player of some type.  He had a problem with his liver and he wore a retainer.

I don't know.

I think it's kind of funny that I dreamed I was dating a sports guy.  Then the night before, I had a lucid dream involving a sports arena.

Maybe something is telling me I should get more into sports.

75. Decided I'll just ignore that message.

I can't imagine getting into sports.

76. Remembered Gina works in the sports field.   And I also dreamed about her.

Wow.

This is all getting a bit eerie.

Balmain, Redfern, First Fleet, and Pretend Julia Gillard

1. Reminded by my new Treasures of Australia book that the Sydney suburb of Balmain was named after a surgeon on the First Fleet.

William Balmain.

Lord Wiki says he delivered the first baby on the First Fleet.  I wonder whatever became of that baby.  Did it survive?  Does it have descendants?

2. Learned that William Balmain ended up getting together with a convict named Margaret Dawson.   They ended up having a child together.

Did I do a post on Dawson?

I can't remember.

I'll go check.

3. Saw that I did do a post on her.

I shall read it and relearn what I learned almost two years ago.

I wonder if I mentioned William Balmain.  

4. Read some of the post and saw that I did mention Balmain.

I also mentioned the fact that Redfern was named after a surgeon as well.

I was thinking before that Balmain had impressed me for some reason; but now I'm remembering that it was Redfern. There was something I liked about the guy, but I can't remember what it was.

5. Consulted Lord Wiki about Redfern.

That surgeon had William as a first name too.  

William Redfern was a convict.

What got him into trouble was being part of a mutiny.

He was a doctor before becoming a convict, and in New South Wales he became a doctor again.

William Redfern spoke up against the sanitary conditions of the ships.  His words were heard and improvements were made.

Lord Wiki says Redfern can be considered one of the fathers of the Australian medical profession.

6. Read article that says there have been huge storms in south-east Queensland.   

It sounds very intense.  I hope people and other animals stay safe. 

7. Read Andrew's distressing post about the mistreatment of chickens.

This is timely for me since I accidentally bought products with egg in it.  

I guess on the plus side, the protein bars probably don't have a lot of eggs.  I think there's a difference between eating an omelet which uses a 2-3 eggs per serving and eating a baked good or other product that uses 1-2 eggs for many servings.

8. Agreed with what Andrew and Anonymous discussed in Andrew's comment section. Anonymous says.

The fact is modern farming practices and thinking have reduced animals to products where the bottom line is the almighty dollar - farmers and corporations want to make high profits and consumers want cheap, plentiful food. To get either, food animals must live appalling lives where terrible cruelty is commonplace and sanctioned at most levels of society.

Andrew replies, You may well be a few months younger than me, but you would remember when chicken was a luxury. It was a luxury because it was expensive. Now it is so cheap, because of the mass production of chicken meat. 

Yeah.  I think meat and other animal products should be expensive.  I don't think everyone needs to be vegetarian.  But I do think meat should be something people have once in awhile, rather than on a regular basis. 

Meat shouldn't be mass produced and cheap.

9. Thought maybe there's a correlation between the obesity issues, that people worry about lately, and factory farming.  People want to pay low prices for huge portions. To keep up with that, there needs to be factory farms.

10. Went to Kevin Rudd's Twitter page.   I thought this Tweet was cute:  The students at the model UN were first class. A few too many future foreign ministers for my liking… I better watch out. KRudd.

11.  Read article about asylum seekers.  It sounds like good news. Although some of it confuses me.  

Some people who come by boat are going to be put into what's called community detention rather than mandatory detention.

Rather than being isolated from the community, they'll live in the community. But they'll be monitored and required to check in with officials.

12. Read the article more closely.  People won't automatically get released into the community.  They'll spend a short time in the detention centers for medical and identity checks.

I wonder how long they'll be in there?  Days? Weeks? Months?

The people released into the community will have what's called a bridging visa.

A human rights advocate named Marion Le worries nothing will change. She's concerned that the bridging visa is just another name for the protection visa.  With the protection visa, sometimes it would take three to four years for people to get one.

Hopefully her suspicions aren't warranted, and people won't get locked up for that long.  

13. Read editorial in the Sydney Morning Herald about the best characters on television.

Only one character is Australian and it's Tim Mathieson from At Home With Julia.  I heard of that, but I didn't know it was an actual show. I thought it was a one time special.

Most of the characters on the list are from American shows.

I don't watch a lot of Australian television, so I don't have much to go by.  But my favorite characters are probably Maggie Beare from Mother and Son and Billy Proudman from Offspring.  

14. Went to the website for At Home With Julia.

I was sort of right.  It was a miniseries—not an ongoing thing.  

15. Started to watch the video clips they have on the website. The actress who plays Julia Gillard does a good job of imitating Gillard's voice.

I laughed a few times during that. The show looks pretty good.

16. Watched more of the show. I'm finding that I agree with the editorial's pick of best character on the show.

17. Went to Tallygarunga.

Today I'm going to read History of Magic: The First Lesson. 

It looks like there's a new professor for that.

I think last semester the class was taught by Professor Rodrigez.

Now we have Edvard Adalwin. 

18. Started to read.

Professor Adalwin is a bit nervous about teaching his first class at the school.

He eats a Bernie Botts bean and gets pumpkin pie.

I think of pumpkin pie as being an American food. I guess because of Thanksgiving.  I wonder if other countries eat it as well.

I peeked at Adalwin's biography.  He's from Norway.

I wonder if Norwegians eat pumpkin pie.

19. Consulted Lord Wiki about the history of pumpkin pie.

It's pretty interesting.

He said pumpkin seeds were first found in Mexico. They made their way to France, and then to England.  The British started using pumpkin as a pie-filler. Then it was brought, by the pilgrims, to America.

20. Went back to reading about the Tally class.

The students are entering the room.

21. Wondered about Reade's line here.

Sure, he was still feeling the lowest he ever had, with the Arti situation hanging over him, but History was his favourite class and it was brightening up his day considerably just thinking about attending it.

So what is the Arti situation now?   This story takes place on October 10. I need to go see when the coma storyline took place.

According to Reade here, is Arti missing?  Does he know she's in the hospital?   Does he know what has happened to her?

22. Went to the coma storyline....or the awakening-from-the-coma story.    

It takes place on October 5.

So by now, Reade should know Arti is in the hospital—unless she's being hidden.

23. Intrigued by the fact that the class is going to be learning Australia history.

Riley's not at all excited about it.

I wish I could trade places with him—well, just for a few hours.    

I'd love to hear about Australian history through the eyes of a wizard.

24. Read Sarah Kent's post.  She's very excited to see Victor Hartwell in the classroom.

That triggered my memory.  Victor's the one who has recently found out he's William Kent's son.   This means he's Sarah's half-brother.

I'm guessing, from her excitement about seeing him, that she knows they're siblings.

Or maybe she doesn't know and adores him as a friend?

25. Finished reading the story thread.

Most of the students are not at all excited about history. The exceptions are Reade and Juli Preston.

26. Wondered what kind of magic was happening in the beginnings of Australia.

Any witches and wizards on The First Fleet?  

Maybe that baby, William Balmain delivered, was a wizard.   Or maybe the intrusion of Muggle medicine in his childbirth messed things up, and the baby became a Squib.  


27. Went to the biography of Mr. Edvard Adalwin.

His face claim is Vincent Furnier, who is also known as Alice Cooper.   I didn't know that. Lord Wiki had to tell me. I'm usually ignorant when it comes to music stuff.

I know of one Alice Cooper song: "Welcome to My Nightmare".



I think,  for some of the Tallygarunga students, they're biggest nightmare is attending history class.

28. Learned that Edvard is in his early sixties.

He's tall.

It sounds like he's a skeleton.   In fact, one won’t find an ounce of fat or muscle on his body.

What is he? Skin and bones?

29. Reminded of myself when I read this.  He loves natures and strolls out through forests and wooded areas but cannot stand humid, stick heat or the frigid, chilling cold. This is why he so often spends his time indoors.

I'm very picky about weather. Anything over 82 degrees is too hot for me, and anything under about 70 degrees is too cold.

30. Liked this detail about Edvard. Also when out on strolls, assuming his attire has pockets, his hands will typically be shoved deep into pockets. 

I think it provides insight into both his appearance and personality.

I'm not sure what it says about his personality though.  What kind of person sticks their hands in their pockets?

Maybe....

My guess is it's someone who's a bit nervous and insecure. They may be trying to hide a part of themselves, in a subconscious way. They also might be holding something in their pocket to give them security.

In the story, Edvard had candy in his pocket.  I wonder if that's usually the case for him.

31. Learned that Edvard has the type of face that makes him look grumpy, but it doesn't match his personality.  He's pleasant and likes to joke around.

32. Reminded strongly of someone I know when I read this line about Edvard.

He can keep his cool around certain company like strangers or pupils, but behind closed doors, if one is disrespectful or overly-insulting with their words, he will not hold back his fury.

Some people are very good at controlling their temper in some situations, but unable to control it in other situations.

33. Started to read Edvard's history.

His mother is a witch but worked at a Muggle department store.

His father made money casting runes.  He would do this for both Muggles and magical folks. The Muggles saw it as mostly entertainment.

34. Learned that, although Durmstrang is the closer and more logical choice of wizarding school for Norwegians, Edvard was sent to Hogwarts. The reason is his parents didn't like the school's association with the dark arts.

35. Learned that Edvard was sorted into Hufflepuff.

He would have started school around 1970.

Who would have been there then?

36. Consulted Lord Wiki's cousin about Sirius Black.  He was born in 1959, the same year as Edvard.

So he'd probably be in the same year as a lot of Harry Potter people—Black, James Potter, Lily Potter, Snape, Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew.

37. Saw that when Edvard finished with Hogwarts, he went to London's Magic University.

He didn't do so well there—too much partying.  He was kicked out. His dad was very angry about that.  He refused to pay for any more of Edvard's education.

Edvard worked instead.   After struggling, he made enough money to pay for his own education.   That's where he learned the history stuff.

38. Intrigued by these lines.

His luck took a turn for the better though in his early forties when at least a teaching position had opened up. The Hogwarts History of Magic professor had grown deathly ill and had to take an extended leave of absence; unfortunately, the professor’s conditions never improved and died a few months later.

I wonder if that's referencing a Harry Potter character.

39. Did the math. That would have been around 1999, and that's after the battle at Hogwarts took place.

It still could be a Harry Potter character though.

Who taught History of Magic?

40. Consulted Lord Wiki's cousin again.  The class is the one that's taught by a ghost.  

I'm guessing the ghost wasn't the one who got sick. And it really couldn't have died. 

Maybe someone else was hired to do the job, and then he or she got sick?

41. Did another Australian accent practice video.  I followed the advice of a friend who suggested I try reading nonfiction.  So I read about Broken Hill in my new Treasures of Australia book. 

I think (hope) that this time I sound more Australian and less British. That's not to say I don't love British accents.




42.  Went to the YouTube channel of Stephniijane. 

She's another singer, and has done a lot of videos.

Her profile says she has a degree in zoology and is a wildlife demonstrator.

At the time she wrote the profile, she was living in London as an au pair.  I wonder if she's still doing that.  I also wonder if she liked the job.

43. Listened to Stephniijane sing the Glee version of "Defying Gravity"



It's interesting. I don't think I've ever seen an interesting cover on Glee. I need to check it out.

44. Listened to Glee's version of "Defying Gravity".

It's less interesting than what I hoped for.

It sounds very much like the one in the musical.



45. Thought it would be funny if Stephniijane was simply singing the song wrong, and I'm liking it because it's different.

I think her version sounds different from the Glee version. 

46. Listened to Stephniijane sing Katy Perry's "Firework".



In some parts, her voice sounds good.

Often I can't hear her well over the guitar.

47. Watched Stephniijane do one of her animal demonstrations.

This is with her pet potoroo. I've never heard of that.




She mentions that her most popular video is of her singing Lady Gaga's "Just Dance."  She talks about how she gets mixed reviews.  Some people love it and some people hate it.

I decided I'd watch it and see for myself.



I don't think she has a very powerful voice, but she does have a cute one.

48. Consulted Lord Wiki about the potoroo.

He says there are four types. Two of them are endangered. One of them (Gilbert's Potoroo) is the most endangered animal in Australia.  There's not many of them left.

49. Learned from my Treasures of Australia book that the main streets in Broken Hill are named after minerals.   

I'm looking at it on Google Maps.  

I see Silver City Highway.

There's Argent Street. Is that a mineral?

Lord Wiki says it's a tincture. I wasn't sure what that was; so I asked him.  He said it's a color used on a coat of arms.

50. Saw Galena Street.

Lord Wiki says Galena is the mineral form of lead sulfide.

There's a Gypsum Street.

Gypsum is made of calcium, sulfate, and water. 

Lord Wiki says gypsum is used in the making of tofu. Interesting......

51. Saw that my Australian of the day is John Macquarie Antill.   He's the grandson of the guy I wrote about two days ago: Henry Colden Antill.

Henry worked with Lachlan Macquarie, so I'm guessing that's why John Antill has Macquarie as his middle name.

52. Saw that John Antill did military work.

He won medals for that.

53. Saw that one of Antill's pastimes after retirement was "bowls".   I'm not sure what that means.

He also liked gardening, woodwork, reading, and writing.   He and his daughter wrote a play about William Redfern. It was called The Emancipist.

It's funny to read that since I was thinking about Redfern last night.   

54. Amused because I saw, from IMDb that the woman who plays Julia Gillard in At Home With Julia was one of the stars of The Upside Down Show. 

Her name's Amanda Bishop, and she played Mrs. Foil.   I don't remember her...except maybe vaguely.   It's been a long time since we watched that show.  

55. Saw that Phil Lloyd, the guy who plays Tim Mathieson, is also the writer of the series.  

56. Started to look at more of John Lampard's Flickr photos.

Today I'm going to look at his Spot Food and Film Festival pictures.

It's part of the Australian Film Festival.

Here's their website.  They have a page about the Spot thing.  

57.  Thought  these cupcakes are cute and colorful.  

58. Saw different names on a walk of fame type thing.   Here's one for an actor named Steve Bisley.

Lord Wiki says he was in Mad Max and currently he's on Sea Patrol.  He was also on Water Rats and Sea Rescue.

I really haven't seen any of that stuff. 

59. Saw Claudia Karvan has a circle on the Walk of Fame.  

60. Saw that Peter Garrett was at the festival.

I have to admit, it took me about three seconds to remember who he was.  

But I'm pleased with myself for figuring it out eventually.

61. Continued to watch At Home With Julia.

It has a lot of funny parts.

62. Found article about At Home With Julia.   It's about Tim and Julia having a sex scene involving the Australian flag.   I saw the headlines a few days ago, but didn't pay much attention. It wasn't of interest to me. Now that I've seen the show, I'm interested. 

Some people were offended by the flag thing.   

A spokesman for the show responded.

If it's OK for others to drape themselves in our flag for all manner of occasions, I really don't see why it can't be draped over our prime minister as a symbol of love.

Yeah...why not.

63. Read blog post from someone who found the show to be funny but disrespectful.  

Scarlett Harris liked the first two episodes and felt it made Gillard seem more human.  But she pointed out anti-feminist aspects of the program.  

She doubts a show like this would be made about other Prime Ministers. She acknowledges that Rudd and others have been mocked in comedy, but it was about their public lives and not their private ones. 

I don't know.  She might have a point.  There's probably some gender prejudice involved in the motivation behind the show.

But I still like it.

Gillard and Mathieson are portrayed as being kind of buffoons.   But I think they're very sympathetic characters. 

It would be nice if we lived in a world where no one would think twice about a female Prime Minister being in a de facto relationship with a hairdresser.  Someday that will probably be the case.   But I CAN imagine that there's truth behind the show.   It can't be too easy being Mathieson in today's society.   We still cling to the idea that in heterosexual relationships, it's the man who should have the more powerful career.

I imagine it's hard enough for most men to be in a relationship where his partner has more power and money.  I think it would be even more difficult when you're constantly under media scrutiny.

That being said...is the show adding more salt to the wounds?

Maybe?   Or maybe Tim and Julia find it funny.  Do they have the ability to laugh at themselves while watching the show? Or do they feel it goes too far?

Do they even watch it?

64. Decided I personally feel the show isn't disrespectful or cruel.  Why? Because it's actually made me kind of LIKE Julia Gillard.

I don't often give Tim Mathieson a lot of thought, but after seeing the show....I'm liking him too.  

The characters are a bit silly, but they're also very lovely.   

Now instead of seeing Gillard simply as the anti-gay marriage person who stole Kevin Rudd's job, I also see her as the woman wearing a bathrobe who doesn't know her way around Canberra.  

65. Looked at the Australian Monopoly board.  

Today's street for me is Victoria Square.

Well, I guess it's not really a street.

Lord Wiki says it's a public square.

66. Learned from Lord Wiki that Victoria Square has a statue of Queen Victoria.

67. Found Victoria Square on Google Maps. 

It looks like there actually is a street called Victoria Square.

It's to the east of the square.

68. Read article from May 2010 about fixing up Victoria Square.

It seems for a long time there has been talk about fixing up the square, but people were slow at making actual plans to do something.

There's a Hilton in/near the square.  The general manager of the hotel, Michael Schmitt feels revitalizing the square will be good for business. He says, Victoria Square at the moment is the centre of the city but not the heart.

I'm not sure if that's true or not; but I think it's a great quote.

69. Went to the Adelaide City Council's page about the redevelopment of the square.

One of their taglines is a bit off to me.  They say, think inside the square.

I'm guessing it's a play on, think outside the box. 

And in that saying , thinking INSIDE the box is a negative.   The whole point of thinking outside the box is to be original.

So what's the point of thinking inside the square. Does it have a meaning? Or did they just like how it sounded?

I think it sounds cute, but I'm not sure if the message works for me.

70. Decided it probably works all right if you don't connect it to think outside the box.   

Racism, Controversial Videos, Jewish Stuff, and Fangs

1. Loved these lines from The Distant Hours.

Well, first I should explain their context.

Edie has found a book she loved from her childhood. She starts rereading it and is transported to the fictional world.

Here are the lines:

At the sound of the bell, the world of Bealehurst withered, the clouds receded quickly in all directions, the moat, the castle vanished, the step on which I stood turned to dust so that I was falling, with nothing but black text floating in the white space around me, dropping through the hole in the middle of the page to land with a bump back in Barnes.

It's all symbolic. This isn't anything like the Neverending Story.

I love it though, because I think there IS a sort of magic to reading.

I love getting very involved with a book. I love that feeling of being transported to a whole other place.

The only negative is that books end. Then I feel a bit alone—abandoned.

It was hard for me to leave Katniss and Peeta last week, especially Peeta. I really liked that guy.

2. Learned that north Queensland had a small earthquake. Fortunately there was no damage or injures.

I like those types of natural disaster things.  It's exciting enough to give locals something to talk about for the next few days, but not exciting enough to kill anyone.    

3. Read more of The Distant Hours.  I'm really loving it.

4. Went to sleep and had lots of dreams.  One brief one was about Australia. We're driving a car on the highway; well, Tim is driving, actually.  There're many other cars and we're all going fast.   I'm a little nervous. I check around to make sure we're on the correct side of the road.  I don't check the road sides.  I check the lane.  All the other cars in our lane are leaning more to the left.  We're more to the right.

When I woke up, I thought of the dream and realized we weren't driving on the left side of the road.  We were driving on the right. In the dream, it was more about being left instead of right within the lane.

I guess the lanes were pretty wide.

5. Wondered if the dream had political symbolism.  The road might represent right-wing politics and left-wing politics.  Then within each of those, there's a wide variation.

6. Read more of The Distant Hours.

I think I'm sort of in love with the book.

It's one of those novels in which I can relate to certain things in an almost therapeutic way. Reading it is kind of cathartic for me.  

7. Started to watch an embedded video on Fruitcake's blog. It's of Dame Edna on The View.  She proudly confesses to being a bully.

She's a funny woman...sort of.

And thanks to that clip, I now know about Vajazzling.

8. Read more of Fruitcake's post.  It's mostly about Dame Edna and her type of humor.

I like what Fruitcake says here.  When Dame Edna insults short people, or Roman Catholics, or gay people, I’m not quick to take offense or feel insulted - I’m delighted. The truth she is selling is not that any of these groups ought to be second class people, but that members of these groups are sometimes treated as second class people.

There's such a fine line between funny humor and offensive humor. It's sometimes hard to divide the two, and different people divide them in different ways.

9. Thought more about Fruitcake's blog post because she mentioned Harry Connick jr. and The View ladies speaking out against Australian comedians painting their faces black to imitate Michael Jackson's family.

I have various questions about the whole thing.

A) Why is it so offensive to so many Americans?  Why is that not acceptable; but it's acceptable for a man to dress up as a woman?   If we're offended by white people portraying black people in a comedy skit, shouldn't we also be offended that Barry Humphries dresses up as a woman for his comedy?  

B) Is this painting-your-face-black type of comedy common in Australia.I know of one other instance besides the one that made Harry Connick Junior angry.  Have there been others?

C) Do white Australians paint their faces black to imitate Aboriginal-Australians? Would this be accepted by most of the Aboriginal-Australian community?  

D) What would happen if roles were reversed? What if Missy Higgins came on an American variety show and saw American comedians with painted black faces imitating Aboriginal Australians in a silly way. Would Missy Higgins laugh?  Would she keep her opinions to herself? Would she speak out against it?

10.  Watched the embedded clip of The View women's response to Harry Connick Jr, on Fruitcake's blog.  

It includes a clip from the music-comedy routine and Harry Connick Jr's response.

Whether I agree with his assessment or not, I greatly admire Harry Connick Jr for speaking up the way that he did.   He said he understood it was supposed to be comedy, but from where he's coming from (as an American) it wasn't funny.  If he had known the show was going to have that segment, he wouldn't have agreed to come on.  He was stern and honest, but not nasty.

The reaction of The View ladies is less tolerable to me.   It went along with one of Australian's and American's favorite game to play with each other. You're More Racist Than We Are!   The ladies bring up the treatment of Aboriginal Australians and talk about how Australia has never had Aboriginal stars like The Jackson Five.  I guess the idea there is we're less racist because a few black people in our country have become huge mega-stars.  

Then commenters on Fruitcake's blog joined in on the game by providing examples of American racism.  We speak out against immigrants yet hire illegals to do our work.  In World War II, black serviceman were treated better in Australia than they were in America.  Ding ding ding—points for Australia!

We should put together a game show.  Australians against Americans. You try to prove we're racist and we'll try to prove you're more racist.

Or we could call a truce and agree that Australia and America have a history of bigotry and discrimination.  And in both Australia and America, it's not that easy being green—or any other color that's not white.

11. Started to read blog entry by Eurasian Sensation.

His response to the whole blackface controversy is different from the ones I usually hear from Australians.

He points out that many Australians excuse the skit by saying Australians don't have the same negative history with the whole blackface thing. His blog post includes a letter written by an Aboriginal woman. She says,  

In the 121 years between Henry Melville’s first Australian minstrel and Chauvel’s Jedda there have been countless white actors who have played Aboriginal characters by smearing Blackface across their skin and misrepresenting our languages, songs, dances and traditions.

There is a history of Blackface in Australia. It is a hurtful and degrading history that denied our right to self representation and helped to create the racial stereotypes that plague our nation today. 


It does make me wonder.  If blackface is frowned upon in America, why is it acceptable in Australia?  What makes our two countries so different?  Is this Aboriginal woman's opinion an anomaly? Were most black Australians totally okay with the skit?

And why are Americans so uptight?  Are we too politically correct?  Do we not have a sense of humor? Are we too sensitive?

Do Australians have a thicker skin?

Eurasian Sensation doesn't think so.  He says, I have heard, time and time again in response to this issue, that Aussies are an easygoing people with a good sense of humour, and we are not as sensitive as those Americans, who just need to grow a thicker skin. But this is shown just how sensitive we are to any criticism, and how insensitive we can be to anyone who is different to us.

12. Re-watched a video I think is hilarious. It's made by an American poking fun of some Australian icons. The Title is "The Australians are Fooling Us All".

Well, unfortunately I can't embed it; but here's the link.  

I saw the video when I first became obsessed with Australia.   It left me feeling disillusioned.   The video itself didn't bother me.  What shocked me were the responses from some Australians.  I had read all this great stuff about Australia and Australians.  They're a funny bunch. They have a great sense of humor.  They'll make fun of you.  You can make fun of them.  They're not easily offended.   We'll all laugh together.

Then I saw the responses to the video. Many Australians were VERY offended.   It's mocking Australians, but in such a silly way.  I can't really understand why it would offend people.  Maybe it's one of those things in which you have to be the target of the joke to understand why it's offensive?

I don't know.

The Aussie commenters are offended on so many levels.  The American is making generalizations.  He does the Australian accent wrong.  He can't pronounce Vegemite correctly. He didn't do his research before making his judgements.

They fail to understand that it's all a joke. Or maybe they understand that it's a joke, but feel it's morally wrong to joke about Australia.  

There's so many comments declaring extreme offense. I'll just cut and paste two of them. 

JellyBeanJade2558 says, okay first YOU CANT SAY VEGEMITE ( VEG-E-MITE) btw we dont say vegemite or even talk about it in public let alone in our national anthem
second DONT EVEN THINK ABOUT DISCRIMINATING OUR NATIONAL ANTHEM why are u saying that stuff when u dont even know it
thirdly boomerangs are part of our aborigine history dont think that u can talk shit about my country ( we dont kill kangaroos , we use them to kick people like u in the face ) BTW ITS SPELT ROOS,
UR ACCENT SUCKS BTW I HAD VEGEMITE TODAY

These Crystal Keys says, why dont you come to Australia and say that? you narrowmined dipshit. say it in front of all the indigenous people you've insulted, and the rest of the Australians who's culture you've offended. in some places, you'd be shot for your disrespect
but you know what? im glad you'll never come to my beautiful country and see the wonderful beaches and amazing outback and enjoy friendly Australian hospitality. it would be wasted on you, stay away from Australia, and dont talk shit about my country.

Fortunately, there are a few people who get the joke.  Otherwise, back in 2008 I would have probably lost all faith in Australians.   

JohnJay469 says, You have penetrated our dark plan and have therefore been reported to ASIO (Australian Satire International Or something). However due to recent budget cuts they can't afford black helicopters. Please consider yourself under arrest and questioned rigorously about Australian secret plans, submitting the answers on Form 32B-441-16C-978-22L to the nearest ASIO office.
Nice one mate, I liked the video.   

I like JohnJay. 

13. Wanted to say that I don't fault people for not getting the joke and being offended.  Like I said before, we all have our own ideas of what is funny and what is not funny.   But there's a difference between doing what Harry Connick Jr did—speaking out against something in a polite, civilized way; and speaking out with anger, hatred, and nastiness. 

And anytime I hear an Australian say that Americans don't have a sense of humor, I can remember the responses to the video and know it goes both ways.

14. Wanted to clarify that the comments I just cut and paste are recent and I didn't see them back in 2008 (because I don't have a time machine).  But back in 2007 there were comments similar to the ones above.  

15. Started to watch CommunityChannel's response to The Australians are Fooling Us All.



I can't believe what that bitch said about America.   We're not like that!   Does she not know ANYTHING??????????   She better not ever come on my front porch.

I'm joking.  It's very funny. I especially like how she poignantly defends Vegemite.   

16. Liked this response to the extremely controversial video.


It's adorable.

I laughed at what he said regarding Americans and butter. I'm sure it doesn't apply to all Americans, but it does apply to me.

17. Watched very fun Jewish video about Rosh Hashanah.  It makes reference to Australia-invented Fruit Ninja.



It's so cute.   It almost makes me want to get all back into the Jewish thing.  

Maybe something is trying to tell me something.  I just saw the video and it warmed my Jewish heart.  But that's not all.  Last night I dreamed about going to a Jewish playgroup and liking it. Then this morning I checked my Yahoo Groups (which I rarely remember to do).  There was a message in a group for Jewish homeschoolers in Dallas/Fort Worth.  I then realized that I was the administrator of the group, and the creator.  I didn't remember creating it, but I had the power to moderate the message and the description of the group sounded like something I'd write.

I accepted the message.  Then I panicked and deleted the whole group.  I feel kind of bad now...especially after seeing the Rosh Hashanah video and getting that Jewish pride feeling.  But oh well.  Hardly anyone was trying to post to the group.  There was one message within a 2-3 month time period.  

18. Figured I would still be involved with the Fort Worth Jewish Community if the rabbi hadn't said homeschooling was one step away from child abuse. There were lots of things that annoyed me before that incident; but I think the rabbi's comment was the straw that broke the camel's back.

Still, though. If one single comment could turn me off of my passions, I wouldn't have any of them left.

19. Read article that says it's very warm in Sydney.—about 30 degrees Celsius (86 Fahrenheit). That wouldn't be surprising for summer or late Spring, but it's not too common for Sydney in the beginning of Spring.

The article says they usually get a day of 30+ weather every other year.

This is fun though.  As our weather in Fort Worth gets cooler, Australia shall be getting warmer and warmer.

I hope both of our countries have nice (not too extreme) weather.

Actually, I hope that for everyone on Earth—and other planets, if applicable.

I'm trying to be inclusive here.

20. Went to Tallygarunga.

Today I'm going to read the continuation of a story called I Really Like Your Name.

It's with Riley Lightfoot and Riley S. Aberdeen.

It's been a long time since I read it; but I can't remember where I left off.

I might have to search through my blog to jog my memory.

21. Found my old blog post about the story thread. It's from July 25.

So looking at the dates....I think the last post I read was #5.

There's been six posts added since then.

I was thinking of rereading the first five to help me remember what was happening.  Then I realized I could just read what I wrote in my blog.

Hopefully I'll understand myself.

22. Finished reading what I wrote in July about Riley and Riley

The basic premise is both Rileys are in the candy shop. Riley L. comes over and chats with Riley A.

23. Started reading posts #6-11.

25. Embarrassed because I just noticed in my old blog post that I referred to Riley Lightfoot as Riley S. instead of Riley L.

Why did I do that?

I'll fix it now.

26. Bewildered by something in Riley Lightfoot's(not Sightfoot's) post.

It says, As he talked, Riley couldn’t help but notice that she kept quiet. Oh god, the quiet people were so boring. They were usually wallflowers who had no idea how to have fun. And there was something sinister about those who were silent. It bothered him that he didn’t know what they were thinking. Of course, people deserved privacy, but the curiosity was unbearable at times. Plus, it was extremely hard to keep a conversation going with a person who refused to talk.

First of all, as someone who used to be very shy, I'm a bit offended.   Shame on you, Riley!

That being said, though, now that I'm not shy, I get frustrated with overly quiet people. I can reluctantly understand Riley's viewpoint.  Shame on you, Dina!

The thing is, though, if Riley L. is talking, why would Riley A. be talking?  Wouldn't she then be rudely interrupting?

Or was it the type of talking in which the other person is supposed to respond with something like

Really?

Are you serious?

Uh huh.

Interesting....

It's annoying if you're trying to tell someone a story and they just stare at you like they're catatonic.   If that's what Riley A. was doing, I wouldn't blame the other Riley for being annoyed.

Still.  He didn't have to trash all quiet people.

27. Continued to read the story.  Riley A. proves to Riley L. that she's not too quiet by babbling bit.

28. Saw that Riley A. accidentally offended Riley L. by thinking he was thirteen instead of fifteen

I can relate to that.

When I was sixteen I was at some Cystic Fibrosis event.   A woman told me she thought I was twelve, and she was naive enough to believe this would be a compliment to me.   I guess she forgot that while older people want to look younger, kids and teens usually want to look older.

Now that I'm almost thirty-nine, I'd be very happy to have someone say I look four years younger than that.

Back when I was sixteen, it was very insulting—even though I understood it wasn't said with malice.

29. Saw that my Australian of the day is Sir John Keith Angas.

He's the grandson of the first Angas guy I wrote about, and the nephews of the other two Angas guys I wrote about.  

30. Saw that Sir John Keith Angas was born in Adelaide in 1900.   By then the Angas family had been in Australia for about sixty years.    His Uncle John Howard had arrived in South Australia in the early 1840's.

31. Learned that Sir John Keith Angas went to Africa and killed a lion that had mauled someone.

What if cows decided they should seek revenge on humans each time a cow was slaughtered?

We'd probably be in big trouble.

32. Saw that Sir John did work in the military.

I  think most people I encounter on the Australian Dictionary of Biography have military work in their biography.

33.  Learned that, like his uncles, Sir John was good at painting.  I wonder if his father was as well.

Are painting skills genetic?  How about art in general?

My guess is yes...at least partly so.

34. Saw that there's an Angas Road in Adelaide.   I'm betting it's named after the Angas family.  

35. Learned from this website that there's a town in South Australia called Angaston. It's named after the Angas family.

Here it is on Google Maps. It's about 25 minutes east of the Barossa Valley.  

36. Looked at another Australian YouTube person.

This guy's name is Rob Clifford.  He plays the ukulele.   That's good.   I love the ukulele.  It might be my favorite instrument.

37. Decided Rob reminds me a little bit of Jack on Lost. 

38. Listened to Rob play Bohemian Rhapsody.



It's so beautiful...so peaceful.   It makes me feel like I'm in Hawaii.

I wish we were in Hawaii.

If I can't go to Australia soon, I hope we can all meet in Hawaii.  Then we can do my game show idea—who's the least/most racist?

39. Watched Rob play the Super Mario Bros. Theme.



That is very cool.   

40. Decided if I had the Ground Hog Day phenomena happen to me, these are the skills I'd want to perfect.

A) play the ukulele
B) Learn how to speak many languages including Mandarin Chinese, Spanish, and some Australian Aboriginal Languages.
C) Be able to identify all plants—be one of those people who can safely find things to eat in the wilderness.
D) Know tons more about Australia

41. Decided I can at least put a dent in my plant wishes by looking at more of Arthur Chapman's Flickr photos.  

42. Thought this Ruby Saltbush looked like it was beckoning someone to come closer. 

43. Learned from the Victorian government that the berries from the Rudy Saltbush are edible. 

44. Thought these Tasmanian Blue Gum flowers looked a bit eerie.   I think it's the coloring.   There are these little things that are greyish-white.   They remind me of the coloring that would be used in a horror movie.

45.  Thought these Pear-fruited Mallee were cute. 

46. Thought the shedding bark on this eucalyptus looked like a frog or lizard...or maybe a Tawny Frogmouth.

47. Consulted Lord Wiki about the Beach Cherry.  

He says the plant is prevalent in Queensland's Cedar Bay National Park; and in the 1970's it was popular with hippies in the area.

48. Found Cedar Bay National Park on Google Maps.  

It's way up north.

It's about five hours north of Cairns and Cairns itself if pretty far north.

49. Thought this Wombat Berry looked incredibly odd.  

This website says the fruit is edible, but isn't worth the trouble because it has little flesh.  However the roots of the plant can also be eaten.

50. Thought this Strangler Fig would look good in a Harry Potter movie. 

51. Wondered more about my earlier question.  Why is it okay to dress up as the opposite gender for a joke, but it's not okay to dress up as a different ethnic group as a joke?

52. Remembered that for one Halloween I dressed up as an Asian.

I didn't do it to be funny or to be racist.   I did it because I liked Asian culture and I had Asian clothes available.

I wouldn't be surprised though if Asian people found it racist.

It's hard to know.  Other Asian people might take it as a compliment....if they understood the context.

53. Decided it's nearly impossible to tell a joke, make a movie, write a blog post, etc. without offending at least one person.

If we all edit what we say, the world's going to be very sterile and boring.  We'll have to lie all the time.  We won't be able to be ourselves.

Yet I think if we're going to be controversial, we have to be open to disagreement.  We have to learn to be civil with those who disagree with us.  If someone disagrees with what we've said, we don't need to swear at them and tell them they're no longer welcome here.

We don't have to accuse people of having no sense of humor if they don't get our joke.

From what I've seen from the Harry Connick Jr. incident, the host of Hey Hey It's Saturday reacted in a very kind way to Harry Connick Jr's complaint. I admire him for that.  



At the same time, the offended parties have responsibilities of civility as well.  If they're offended, they can speak up in a polite way and explain why they're offended. They don't need to be hateful.  They don't need to attack.

 I admire Harry Connick, jr for speaking up against what he found offensive.  It makes me think of the dinner party where someone says a racist joke. Many people laugh and a few people don't because the joke makes them uncomfortable. How many uncomfortable people would be brave enough to speak up?

I'm not saying the person speaking up is the necessarily the right one.  Jokes are subjective.  What's funny to some is offensive to others.  

The controversial Michael Jackson skit doesn't amuse me much. But my opinion is just one of many, and not really worth more than other people's.

Some people might find the skit hilarious. There might even be some black people who like it.

We all have different opinions.

It would be nice if we could share them peacefully.

As Godric said....

Retract Your Fangs.