Sunday, July 25, 2010

My Love Speech To Heath Ledger

I dreamed about Heath Ledger last night...which seems kind of random to me. I don't think he's been on my mind, or anything. But I guess it's usual for me to dream about people I'm not thinking about during the day. I guess certain people just fall into my subconscious. And other certain people are STUCK in my subconscious.


Heath Ledger is with me. I feel protective of him, and worried. He has scratches on his arms. I think there's an idea that this was a self-harm injury (I think I got this from watching iCarly last night. There was a character with scratches on his back). I hug Ledger and he feels frail to me.

For some reason, I get the idea that we're going to be in a relationship. This is not discussed. It's just an idea I suddenly accept as reality. And I suppose Ledger knows this too, because we start to talk about it. He tells me that he's worried that this love won't last forever. Then I give him this speech about how love isn't supposed to last forever. I say I think he's absolutely fantastic right now, but by next week (or month) he'll be a little less great to me. By next year, I might still love him, but I'll be mostly sick of him.
That's not the most cheerful thought, but probably close to reality. But maybe I'd exchange the word love for passion. I think you can love someone indefinitely. The passion (I hate every hour we're apart!) usually fades. It's amuses me, in a cynical way, to see people being all lovey-dovey with their new boyfriends, girlfriends, new wives, husbands, etc. Well, it's not really the affection that makes me inwardly groan. It's that attitude of... we're definitely soulmates. This is REAL love here, and we have the right ingredients to make a relationship work. Therefore, we're going to blab on and on about it everyday on Facebook and Twitter.

I want to tell them, come back in twenty years. Then I'll be impressed with your relationship. Hell, I'll even be impressed in ten years.

I have a video clip of my mom and dad at my sister's wedding rehearsal. By this point they had been married close to thirty-eight years. They're both sitting next to each other and laughing hysterically together. THAT is real. That impresses me....and that inspires me.