Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Too Many Pets and Making Up My Own Song

I had some Australia/Australian related dreams last night. 

1. Jack and I are with my friend from Ballarat. She has two pet lions, and that disturbs me. She seems to feel they're not dangerous, but I worry they'll end up hurting Jack.   

Then later this friend comes to live with us in Texas.  She brings all her pets with her. Now there's no lions. Instead she has two jaguars....or some kind of big cat that has spots.  Maybe it was a leopard?   

When she's not around, I sneak upstairs to Tim's game room where she keeps all her animals.   I want to see all that she's brought.  She has a TON of animals. There's a fish tank with fish.  There's a bunch of cats in cages. And there are other animals....too many animals. I think about how it's probably not legal to have all these pets in Texas. I decide I'm going to have to talk to my friend about this, and tell her it's not okay.

I end up being fairly harsh. I tell her she collects animals the way I collect Australian books, and it's really not right to treat animals that way. To my surprise, she doesn't get angry.  She doesn't even act hurt. She accepts what I say, and agrees with me. She agrees to make changes in her life, and she says something really sweet like I'm like a cousin to her.    

I really have a LOT of these big cat dreams.  Seriously. I know I've written about some of them in this blog, but then there are others as well.  Something is probably trying to tell me something. What? I don't know. 

2.  I'm part of some kind of performing arts group or school.  For some reason, I'm expecting/wanting Julian McMahon to show up. It's as if he's SUPPOSED to be there. But he's not.  

I don't really fit in at the school, or participate.  I'm too shy.  I act aloof and sad.  

Then I'm in a big seminar type environment. I'm acting very quiet and solemn.   We're all planning to go to some event.  These two girls sitting near me, turn around and ask me not to come along.  Sad people aren't welcome. Their tone and words are gentle, but their meaning is harsh. I get angry, and suddenly lose my shyness and inhibition. I stand up and start singing in front of all these people.   I make up my own lyrics, and insult the girls who rejected me. I sing about how they have no talent, even though I think they DO have talent.   

Oprah is there.   Maybe she's the teacher?

People seem very amused by my outburst, and impressed with my singing. Then I feel bad about insulting the talent of my fellow students. I think I sing a sort of apology. 

3. I'm swimming in the ocean, trying to get to Port Stephens. As I swim, I write a blog post in my head.  I talk about how Port Stephens ended up disappointing us, but we still had fun.  

4. (maybe a continuation of #2).  I'm at a school.  It's like I have control of the story.   I get to decide who I am in the story, and everyone else simply follows along. I decide to be a child star who's TV show has ended.  Now I'm back in the real world.  I'm a solemn lonely kid.   I have trouble finding a place to sit.  I think we're supposed to join a group, and I don't know where to go.  The teachers are very nice, and help me.  Instead of being this child who brags about being a celebrity, I'm very serious and honest about the whole thing. I say it's unlikely I'll ever get another acting job. And I say when I grow up and find another career, people will remember my TV show and tease me about it. 

In this story I've created, my co-stars are supposed to visit me.   I've decided that Julian McMahon is one of them.   I wait for the visit.

They show up.  One person is a young Asian woman. I think she may be holding an a violin.   But I've decided she was my friend, the costume designer.

Julian McMahon and the other actors finally show up.  The other actors are nice and play along.   Julian McMahon does not.  He doesn't seem happy at all to be there.   And he's the one person there who knows this is all my made up game. He's not happy about being brought here under false pretenses, and he's not happy to play my game. He doesn't want to pretend that I'm a child actress, and he's my co-star.

But then we talk...I don't remember too much. But he's less angry, and things become okay between us.

Later I hear there has been a drowning around the school.  Some man in a suit drowned.  I worry it was McMahon because he had been wearing a suit.   I rush off to see.   Then I'm in the water with these young people who have drowned.  They try to pull living people into the water to drown them too.  The idea is that if you can get yourself to dry land, they can't reach you, and you're safe.   I manage to escape, but it's all very slow and tedious