Ulterior Motives, Violent Fantasies, Magical Powers, and Old Books

1. Had a science fiction adventure dream involving Aeryn Sun.

My friends and I are captured by some group. I'm with some kind of male friend. We know Aeryn Sun is safe somewhere, but those holding us prisoner think otherwise. They believe Aeryn is dead or brainwashed.  

We're forced to walk through some kind of area. Maybe a ship?  My friend and I talk about how we've been assigned numbers. We have low ones— under six.  We know, though, that we are among many captured throughout the years. I'm curious to know what number we truly should be. I want to ask someone who works there but feel there's no time to stop and chit chat.

One of those holding us prisoner makes a comment about it being too bad that Aeryn is missing this—that she would have liked their plans when they came to fruition. 

2. Dreamed about Home and Away.

My friend and I are both fans of Home and Away. There's a channel on TV that shows reruns of Home and Away everyday. My friend tells me about a special episode that's going to be shown soon. I want to watch it, but I'm worried I'll end up missing it. 

I think maybe there was no such things as DVRs, PVRs or VCRs in my dream.

3. Started watching an episode of Neighbours.

4. Confused about why Terese (Rebekah Elmaloglou) is being painted with a bad brush for trying to keep/put Lauren (Kate Kendall) in a happy relationship. Yes, her main reason was to keep Lauren away from Terese's own husband Brad (Kip Gamblin). But is that so wrong?

It's not like she did bad things for a selfish reason. She did good things for a selfish reason.

Terese stopped Lauren's husband Matt (Josef Brown) from sleeping with Sharon (Natasha Herbert). Then after Matt died, Terese tried to keep the almost-affair a secret from Lauren. One of the reasons was to protect a grieving Lauren from learning that her beloved wasn't so beloved. Sharon wanted to tell Lauren the truth, and Terese paid for Sharon to go away on a cruise

Then later Terese tried setting up Lauren with an artist.

I don't know. Maybe it was better for Lauren to know the truth about Matt. And maybe it's too soon for her to start dating again.  But I think what Terese did, for the most part, were acts of kindness. If she had ulterior motives for this kindness; I think the motives are pretty legit. She wants to Lauren to be happy with her own man, so she's not clinging to Terese's husband.

5. Thought about what Terese has done and compared it to what Naomi (Morgana O'Reilly) did.

Naomi also did kind things for the other woman. She babysat for Sonya's (Eve Morey) child and she even paid for Sonya to get a massage. This is all quite nice, but Naomi didn't have a noble ulterior motive. She was the woman trying to steal someone else's husband.  If it were reversed. If Sonya knew Naomi was interested in Toadie (Ryan Moloney) and did kind things to keep Naomi happy, occupied, and away from Toadie; would that be bad?

6. Decided that Lauren, Paige (Olympia Valance) and Brad are acting like Terese is the villain, because, to them, she is. What they all secretly want is her out of the way, so Brad can get back together with Lauren, and Paige can have her mommy and daddy back together.

7. Glad to see that, after talking to Terese, Lauren is sympathetic and understanding towards what Terese has done.

Lauren tries to talk Brad into being a better husband. It's kind of pathetic that she has to do that.

8. Started to watch an episode of The Slap. This one is about Harry, the slapper.

9. Saw that Harry (Alex Dimitriades) looks happy and not at all bothered by the events in episode one.

Yesterday I talked to Jack about The Slap, and he said that if the slapping adult feels bad about what he's done; then it's probably not so bad. If he doesn't care, that's a different story.  I'm paraphrasing here. Those weren't Jack's exact words.

10. Got the idea that Harry is narcissistic.  He sees himself as the king of his family and maybe king of the world.

11. Did like how Harry handled a discipline problem at work. He finds out one of his employees is stealing from him. First he tries to get the employee to admit how much he's stolen. The employee says around twenty-thousand.  Harry tells him to double that. The employee doesn't argue, which makes me think Harry has the right number. Harry tells him he's going to deduct a third of the employees wages each week.  At the end of the conversation, the employee tries to shake Harry's hand. Harry refuses and says he'll shake the guy's hand when he starts acting like a man.

I don't know. I think he was firm, practical, and menacing, which was probably warranted in that situation.

Harry also threatens violence against the employee, but it seems like the typical stuff that guys say and don't literally mean.

12. Saw that Harry has another woman. He makes her give him a hand job while she's talking on the phone with her mother. Interesting...

It seems kind of greedy, desperate, and selfish to me.

13. Entered to win a trip to Australia.  It's five nights in Sydney, and you get a trip to the Blue Mountains and Hunter Valley.

I hope I win.

I doubt I'll win.

If fate has me winning, I wonder if you can add days to the trip.

If I'm willing to pay for extra accommodations, could I spend 10-15 days there instead?

It seems kind of crazy to take that long flight to Australia and then stay only five nights.

14. Saw that although Harry doesn't seem bothered about slapping a child, he does seem stressed about getting into trouble for it.

15. Saw that Harry's lawyer is played by an actor named Steve Mouzakis.

He played Paulo on The Secret Life of Us.  The name sounds familiar, but I can't remember who he is.

Maybe he dated Kelly (Deborah Mailman)?

16. Found the answer, thanks to the Australian Television website.  And I'm actually, right. Paulo dated Kelly. He was the one who worked with her on the pyramid scheme.

17. Liked conversation between Harry and Anouk (Essie Davis)

Harry tries to get Anouk on his side for the slap case. Anouk politely refuses. She plans to stand with her friends.  Harry then tries to manipulate her by saying that he thought she was the kind of person who has her own mind and is brave enough to speak up.  Yeah. Compliments are good tools when it comes to manipulation.

I thought Anouk might fall for it, but instead she countered with, And I thought you were a man who understood loyalty. 

18. Wondered what's up with Harry's wife Sandi (Diana Glenn). She's extremely nice to him, supportive, and sexually generous.  She almost seems borderline Stepford. Does she really love him that much? Is she that happy with their marriage? Or is there something dark simmering under the surface?

19. Saw Harry get violent with Sandi. He angrily holds her by the hair.

Sandi becomes extremely agitated and very apologetic. Does she act that way, because she fears this minor act of violence will escalate into more dangerous and intense violence? Or does she feel truly guilty for what she's done? Does she hate upsetting Harry, because she has such intense love for him?

20. Thought Rosie (Melissa George) acted quite badly.

Harry comes to apologize. No, he's not really sincere, probably. He doesn't feel bad about hitting Hugo, but he wants to avoid all the legal stuff.

In front of young Hugo, Rosie verbally attacks Harry. She says fuck repeatedly, asks Harry if he hits his wife, and is just very aggressive in general.

I don't think a young child will become damaged for life if they hear an accidental curse word here or there, but to witness that much anger?

Well, the kids in our family have probably witnessed that much anger between the adults in our clan. And that's probably not good.  We probably have left some scars here and there.

I think the thing with Rosie, though, is she presents this whole peaceful parenting persona. She doesn't scold him. She rarely stops him from being destructive.  But in front of him, she'll attack someone else.

21. Wondered about Harry's fantasies of violence.  It looks like he has them quite often. Usually, he restrains himself, and the fantasies don't become reality.

Do a lot of people have fantasies like this? Is it normal? Abnormal? Very abnormal?

I don't think I personally have a lot of violent fantasies. I do sometimes channel my anger when exercising.  I'll think about people who have angered me recently...or not so recently.  It gives me more energy.

If I'm in the middle of a fight with someone, I don't think I often have vivid fantasies of harming them.

Lately I've been doing this evil thing where I pretend I'm a witch. I imagine casting a spell of revenge on someone. For example, let's say someone makes a comment about weight that annoys me; I might wish for their metabolism to become very slow.  I used to avoid such thoughts, because of the whole rule of three thing— if you do a spell, it will come back and bite you with triple the force.

I think, though, that a powerless person casting an imaginary spell is as harmless as a person having a violent fantasy. If the fantasy doesn't become reality, no harm done.

If my wicked wishes start coming true, then I'll guess that I might have powers, and I'll tone things down a bit.

Since there have been incidents where Harry has acted violently and not just fantasized; maybe he needs to tone down the fantasies a bit?  Or would that be more dangerous?  If he tries to suppress the fantasies, is he more likely to lash out in reality?

22. Wished I was the God of Karma. I'd have fun with that. I think it would be an occupation that would bring me great job satisfaction.

I'd be gentle. I'd do enough for someone to regret their past actions. I'd try to make them feel a little guilty and sad and then hope that they'd change for the better.  I would try to avoid anything that would bring long term depression or anxiety.

I'd also avoid hurting someone's loved ones to teach them a lesson. For example, I wouldn't have Harry's son Rocco (Raffaele Costabile) be hit by an adult, so Harry could then feel bad about hitting Hugo (Julian Mineo).  That wouldn't be fair to poor Rocco. What I would do is give Harry nightmares about Rocco being slapped or punched. That might do the trick. Maybe?

23. Thought of another idea. Let's say a man rapes a woman.Then what I'd do is give him nightmares about his mother, sister, or other beloved female being raped.  If he doesn't have any female in his life, maybe I'd let him have nightmares about himself being raped.

24. Realized that if I became the God of Karma, with dream powers on the side, I probably wouldn't have time to watch all this Australian television. There'd be a huge pile-up of dishes in the sink. The cat wouldn't get fed.

The house would be a disaster. It already IS a disaster. But it would be even worse.

25. Hoped that if I become the God of Karma with dream powers on the side; that I might also be blessed with the ability to clean by twitching my nose or snapping my fingers. I imagine magical domestic powers would be one of the job perks.

26. Started watching the fourth episode of The Slap. This one is about Connie (Sophie Lowe), the young woman who has been flirting with Hector.

27. Wondered about Connie. She seems like one of those girls who are too good to be true, but they might actually be that good.

Is she a nice girl who has an unfortunate crush on a married man? Or is she a wolf in sheep's clothing kind of person?

28. Thought that so far, Connie seems very decent. She's an orphan who's very kind to her aunt. She's dedicated to her school work. She defends her gay best friend against homophobic bullies. She tries to control and end her crush on Hector.

I remember, though, that when I read the book, I didn't like her. So I'm predicting some kind of dark side is going to be revealed in the episode.

29. Saw that Connie isn't perfect when it comes to babysitting.

The kids whine for attention. She does her best to ignore them, because she's busy watching a movie.

30. Saw a bed commercial that used a kookaburra to represent jungle sounds.  There's a kookaburra call and also a big cat roar.  From what I've learned in the past, kookaburra calls are used to represent monkeys.

31. Remembered that in Australia what we call cantaloupe is called rockmelon.

I thought of that, because I'm eating some now.

It is so incredibly delicious.

32. Saw Connie snooping through Hector and Aisha's (Sophie Okonedo) things.

I wouldn't say that's evil, but it's quite naughty.

33. Heard farting noise twice in scene with Hector and Connie. Am I imagining things, or does someone have gas? No one is mentioning the farts.

34. Saw that Connie isn't so much into restraining her feelings for a married man, after all. She flirts with him in the car, and they end up doing sex stuff together.

She is definitely the pursuer in that scene.

35. Saw that Connie is happy and excited after getting it on with Hector. She even vague-posts on social media about it.  I think the fact that she feels like that, instead of being scared or remorseful, is a good hint to what kind of person she is.

36. Saw Connie's happiness fade. She works with Aisha at a vet clinic. She starts crying.

Does she feel guilty about having an affair with Aisha's husband? Is she sad about the injured/sick dog?  Is she upset that she has to share Hector with Aisha?

37. Disagreed with Rosie's breastfeeding philosophy—don't offer; don't refuse.

With a child under six months, I'd definitely go with not-refusing. As the child get closer to the first birthday, I think you can avoid refusing but maybe go for some distracting.

When the child is older—two, three, four, five...whatever; then I think it's okay to put in some restrictions. Breastfeeding a child at that age is natural and healthy, but I don't think it needs to be a free-for-all.

I guess if a mother wants to be on tap 24 hours a day; that's fine. But no mother (of a toddler or preschooler) should feel guilty about saying sorry, we're closed right now. Come back later.

38. Recognized the actress who plays one of Connie's friends.

I guessed that she (Charlotte Nicdao) was from Camp, and IMDb told me I'm right.

39. Read the Chalk and Talk's blog post about a early 20th century book called A Pair of School Girls.

It makes me want to read an old novel like that. That's kind of a big thing for me, because I haven't been in the mood to read any novels these past few months.

Maybe I should see if there are any old novels available at Powells. I still have a gift certificate there.

40. Changed my mind about buying books.

Sometimes I like old books, but often I don't.

Plus, I'm not really in the mood to buy more books. My book shelf is already quite full.

Maybe I'll just download a classic on Kindle or iBooks.

I wouldn't mind something gothic or horror.

41. Downloaded a novel by Bram Stroker—The Lady of the Shroud.  I liked Dracula, so maybe this will be good as well.

Maybe if this works out, that's what I'll do. I'll read the lesser known books of authors who wrote classics that I enjoyed.

42. Felt bad for Connie when Hector rejects her and tells her he doesn't love her.

No, it wasn't very moral of her to go after a married man. And it wasn't very nice.  But still. I think she imagined Hector loved her and probably believed they were meant together. The rejection is probably shattering.

43. Went to the Triple J 2014 list.

Today I'm going to listen to the song "Arcadia" by The Kite String Tangle.

That's a very cute band name!

44. Started watching the video of "Arcadia"

I don't really like the song very much.

It reminds me of being in the car at night, with my parents, when I was a kid.

It's probably because they'd listen to that type of music. Sometimes.

45. Started to watch a Neighbours backstage video featuring the recently departed Calen Mackenzie.

It's a two parter.

I hope it's fun.

46. Thought that I may be at the point of the video series where I started watching the show. Olympia Valance is there, and she arrived around the time that I started watching.

47. Remembered this scene.



Maybe?

I think Bailey was going to run away, and Paige tried to stop him. I think she called him a brat.

Wait. Was it when he stole the money from Harold's and let Paige take the blame for it?

Yeah, I think that was it.

48. Learned that Calen MacKenzie has big hands, and Ariel Kaplan has small hands.

49. Started watching part two of the video.

Morgan Baker and Calen MacKenzie seem to get along very well. That's sweet.

All the actors seem to get along quite well—at least the ones on the backstage videos.

I wonder if there's an actor that's a bit alienated from the rest.

Well, I don't think there's any work environment where everyone feels loved and happily gets along. I think there's always going to be someone who doesn't fit in.

It's doubtful they'd admit it when they're on the show. But maybe years later, they might confess.

50. Thought it would be depressing to be an actor on a show in which people pretend to be your friend but in real life, they're not.

51. Thought of Little House on the Prairie. That's a good example of the backstage stuff being different from what we saw on the screen.

A few years ago I read the memoirs written by Alison Arngrim, the girl who played Nellie. She talks about being friends with Melissa Gilbert and enemies with Melissa Sue Anderson.  From what she says, Melissa Sue Anderson sounded awful. But I did take it as being one person's side of the story.  Maybe Melissa Sue Anderson would have her own side of things.  Maybe she wasn't a bitch but just someone who didn't fit in well.

I don't know....

52. Thought of Portia de Rossi.  I read her memoirs, and was surprised to learn she didn't get along well with the Ally McBeal cast. From what I remember, they weren't bitchy towards each other. They just weren't friends.  I remember (vaguely) de Rossi being lonely. Alienated....