Sympathy for Depression, Paul Damien Williams, Desmond, and Jesus

1. Started watching an episode of Home and Away.

2. Thought that people were not being understanding enough towards VJ (Matthew Little).

His mother is in a coma and probably won't wake up. He's depressed.  His friends/family are trying to cheer him up and even going so far as pushing him to move on with his life.  I could understand if his mother has been in a coma for several months, or years have passed. But this just happened! 

Why can't they just let him be sad and comfort him?

They seem somewhat bewildered by his sadness. 

Well, not bewildered. It's more like they are dumb enough to have to try to figure out what's wrong.

If I go visit someone today and they're sad, I might ask them what's wrong. I might try to get them to open up.

But....

If I know their boyfriend just committed suicide a week ago, I think it would be really stupid to ask them what's wrong. I should just assume they're going to be really depressed.  

3. Thought of an exception. 

Let's say someone's going through a long difficult period. Maybe they're grandmother is dying and this process has been going on for the last six months. They'll probably have ups and downs. They could be happy sometimes and sad other times. If they're suddenly having a sad moment, you can't really assume it's about their grandmother. It would make sense to ask.  

Right now VJ seems to be in a 100% depression mode. His emotions and thoughts are fully with his mother. As time goes on, this will probably lessen. He'll be okay sometimes and not okay other times.  If he looks sad, it would be nice for friends to ask if he's okay and try to figure out what might be wrong.  He might be sad about his mom, or he might be sad about something completely different.  

4. Looked at the filmography of Daniel Webber. He plays the part of Ryan, a stalker on Home and Away.

Webber is appearing in the upcoming Stephen King miniseries 11.22.63 as Lee Harvey Oswald.  I haven't read the book, but I do know history. I'm guessing Webber's role is going to be pretty significant.  

Plus, he's in all the episodes.

5. Found another Aussie in the cast— Lucy Fry.  

Fry is playing Marina Oswald. I'm guessing that's Lee Harvey's wife?  

6. Googled.

Yeah. She's the wife.

7. Saw from the IMDb plot description that 11:22:63 is a time travel story.

It sounds good.

Maybe I'll read the book someday...and/or see the miniseries.

8. Watched another episode of Home and Away.

I think I'm beginning to kind of love the show.

9. Tried to figure out who Zac (Charlie Clausen) reminds me of.

Well, I used to get him confused with Nate (Kyle Pryor), but now I can better tell them apart.

There's someone else, though, that reminds me of Clausen.

10. Thought of Michael Keaton.

I think maybe there's a mild resemblance.  

11. Went to the Tropfest website.

Tonight I'm going to watch a 2008 finalist film called "Mouse Race!"

12. Started watching the film.

There's a cute mouse and lovely music box type music.

13. Saw that the film looks like a documentary. Is it? Or is it a pseudo-documentary?

14. Finished watching the film.

It was cute—nothing really earth shattering.

I'm thinking it's  a true documentary, but I'm not sure yet.

The mouse racing reminded me a little of the movie Spotswood.  Both involve adults getting very excited about a race that involves something small.  In Spotswood, though, it was toy cars instead of mice.  

15. Hoped the mice in the movie and those that race are treated well. 

I hope they're loved.

16. Learned from Lord Wiki that animal rights group are against the mouse-racing.

I don't know.

It seems better that they're racing than being stuck in mouse traps.

The animal rights people worry that the rats are stressed. That could be the case. In other cases, the mice might be having fun.

It probably depends on what I said above. Is the mouse loved or not? If a mouse is loved, he is more likely to be treated well. If someone just likes the fun of the race and doesn't give a shit about the mouse, he'll probably mistreat the mouse. Then the mouse will probably be stressed. 

17. Thought some racing mice might be mistreated and/or unhappy. But compared to other things that are done to animals, being encouraged to race seems pretty decent in the scheme of things.  

For example, yesterday we watched a science video that talked about mice being used to test deadly substances.

I imagine that mice are often used in medical research, and other experiments. If they had a choice between doing that and racing, they'd probably pick the latter.

It would be nice if all mice were free and happy. But I think the animal rights people need to choose their battles.  

18. Played around with Siri on my new phone.

She was Australian, and now HE'S Australian. Gender reassignment is very easy when you're a digital being. 

I thought Tim had made Siri Australian as a little gift to me. But he says he didn't. It just came that way.  

19. Wanted to say that I've never been into Siri.

I talk to cats, plants, spiders, insects, stuffed animals, etc. But for some reason I feel weird talking to my phone.  

20. Saw that Paul Williams, the director of "Mouse Race" has edited several short films. "Mouse Race" was his one directing adventure (that's listed on IMDb)

21. Went to the website of Sutton Grange Films. This is the production company that Paul Damien Williams works for.

I don't know if he works with a team or it's one of those things where an independent artist acts as if he's working for a team, so he'll appear more professional.  

22. Saw the word "we" is used a lot, which I hope means there's a team. But I'm pretty sure I've seen single workers using the word "we" when I'm thinking it really should be "I". 

23. Read the about page. It only mentions Paul Damien Williams. 

Although that doesn't guarantee that he works alone.

24. Wanted to say I'm not against people working alone...not at all.

I just don't know if it works to try to make your company look bigger than it really is. 

25. Thought of the TV show Very Small Business where the one guy was trying to make it seem like he had a large staff and different departments.  

26. Started watching a music video that Williams made. It's for a song by a guy named Tom E. Lewis.  I like it a lot—the song and the video.

Lewis's voice reminds me of a combination of Paul Kelly, Kev Carmody, and Neil Diamond. 

27. Loved the imagery in the video.

It reminds me a little bit of True Blood's opening credits—probably because both show a baptism.

I'm thinking, though, that William;s work would be great for a TV show opening.

28. Had a fantasy that my The Dead are Online novel becomes a TV show and Paul Damien Williams does the opening credits.  

29. Learned that Tom E. Lewis is an accomplished actor.

I thought he was just some random guy who had a lot of talent.

But. No. He played the title role in The Chant of Jimmie Blacksmith...along with other things. 

30. Checked to see if Tom E. Lewis is on Spotify.

He is!

I added several of his songs to my playlists.

31. Started watching another Paul Damien Williams video. This one is called "Berribob" It's part of a health-related series.

32. Finished watching the film. The basic premise is there's an Aboriginal guy who is very smart when it comes to finding food, starting fires, and living off the land. However, he also has rheumatic fever.  He didn't go to the doctor in a timely fashion, and he believes this delayment has made his health worse than it could have been.

Basically, the movie is pushing Aboriginal people to see westernized doctors.  

33. Annoyed somewhat by the message.

It's not that I'm against people seeking help for their problems.

It's just how many times have people sought help for real problems only to be turned away by dismissive doctors?  

We're neglectful of our health if we have a problem and don't rush to the doctor. If we go to the doctor with a problem, then we're silly hypochondriacs.

34. Thought of a storyline I've been watching on Coronation Street.

Steve frets about a new mole on his arm. He's worried.  

How many times have I seen messages about getting new moles checked out. How many stories have I seen about Melanoma? I don't blame Steve for worrying. Yet his girlfriend and other people laugh at him, are dismissive towards him, and call him a hypochondriac.

35. Started to watch another Paul Damien Williams project.

It's a public service announcement thing against sexting.  

36. Finished watching the movie.

I thought it was very good.

It's basically warning people to be careful what they share on the Internet. 

37. Listened to a Kylie Minogue song while exercising.

Now I can't remember what song it was.  

38. Found the song on my Spotify playlists.

The song was "Can't Get You Out Of My Head".

39. Decided to watch a part of Paul Damien William's documentary about a born again Christian. 

40. Thought the beginning of the documentary has lovely imagery.

I really love William's filmmaking style.

41. Saw that the subject of the film uses his hills hoist as a bird feeder.

That's pretty cool.

42. Saw that the subject of the film is named Desmond.

It might make things easier if I call him that rather than "the subject of the film" 

43. Thought that Desmond is very much into Jesus; maybe even more than I'm into Australia.

44. Saw St. Kilda in the film.

45. Wondered what it's like for Desmond to be so zealous in his beliefs.

Does he ever have doubts?

46. Learned that Desmond makes mixed tapes and gives them to people. He's sent one to Bill Clinton and the Queen.

I wonder if they ever listened.

47. Learned that the tapes consist of Desmond praying.  

Would that still be a mixed tape?  I think it would just be a tape.  

Or maybe he adds music as well?

48. Thought about how I'm not a big fan of Christianity. But so far, I like Desmond, because he's like a Jesus fanboy.

I do like fanboys...and fangirls.

49. Saw that Desmond believes people need to repent and come to Jesus or they will burn in hell.

I prefer fanboys who aren't so pushy about their fandom.

Can you imagine Star Wars fans threatening nonfans with damnation? 

50. Realized there were probably times that I sort of wanted non-Harry Potter fans to be damned.  

Or at least I wanted them properly converted.

51. Did like that Desmond doesn't belong to a church and doesn't believe God is contained in a building.  

He believes Jesus love can happen anywhere.

52. Thought Desmond was a bit overdramatic when he talked about people tolerating all kinds of crimes—including pedophelia-more than they tolerate the word of God.  

No.

I don't think so.

53. Did believe Desmond when he talks about being abused by strangers. And I feel for him.  I think some sympathy from me is subtracted, though, with his idea that he gets it worse than others.

People have spit on him.

Does he think murderers, rapists, and pedophiles have never been spit on? Does he really think the world is that tolerant of people who kill and abuse others?

54. Wanted to clarify that I don't think being Christian is equal or similar to being a murderer, rapist, or pedophile.

It's just that Desmond claimed, or at least implied, that he is less tolerated than criminals who have committed various atrocities.

55. Learned that Desmond drank, smoked, and had a lot of sex when he was a teenager.

And he says he was homosexual.

So I'm assuming he counts homosexuality as a sin. I disagree with him, of course. But I will give him credit if he doesn't give homosexuality more weight than other so-called sins. 

He probably believes all extramarital sex is wrong.  He did talk about saying no to a prostitute's offer.

56. Imagined Desmond is probably also against masturbation.

57. Felt it's much worse when people obsess over homosexuality as a sin but easily indulge in other "sins" without much care or guilt.

58. Learned that Desmond was once in a relationship with a guy named Barry. Now he looks back and feels that was wrong.

I think that's sad.

59. Wondered about Paul Damien Williams. Is he Christian? 

Does he have the same beliefs about homosexuality?

What was the aim of his film?

I think he's definitely sympathetic towards Desmond.  He treats the subject of his film with respect. I just wonder how much he's in line with Desmond's beliefs and opinions.

60. Thought, no matter what Williams personally believes, the film does kind of push a pro-Christian and anti-gay message.

If someone gay watched this and felt conflicted about their homosexuality, seeing it might make them more conflicted.

The documentary doesn't give a counterpoint. At least it hasn't yet. I still have about five minutes left.

61. Thought about the other William's films I watched.

There are definite messages—think before you share something on the Internet; go see a doctor.  

In the same way, this Christian video seems to have a message. Repent your sins. Believe in Jesus. Stop being gay.  

62. Felt maybe I'm being unfair.

Am I viewing the film as a propaganda message when I should be viewing it as a biographical profile?

63. Thought about the mice movie.

Should I see that as mice-racing propaganda?  

64. Disagreed strongly with Desmond when he said that God doesn't force people to do what they don't want to do.

Sending people to burn eternally in hell if they don't do what He wants —that's not forcing someone to do something?  

If I tell Jack that I'm going to stick his hand in a burning pot of water if he doesn't do his math work, how would that NOT be forcing him?  

If God sends people to Hell for "misbehaving", not only is he forcing people to do things, he's being extremely abusive.  

That's why I don't love Jesus.  Or at least I don't love the version if him that some people promote.  

65. Did not like Desmond's beliefs, and I don't like some of his opinions.

But I do like Desmond. He's very sweet and cute—in a fanboy kind of way.

I also liked the documentary a lot.

All in all, I'm very impressed with Paul Damien William's work.