Adults Not Feeling Like Adults

My sister wrote in a text that she had initiated plans for a cousin-dinner at our aunt's upcoming memorial. She told my mom it would be no-adults.

Our mom asked what she meant, and it took me a few hours to maybe understand why our mom was asking that.

The thing is, my sisters, our first cousins, and myself...we ARE all adults. All, but one of us, are in our 40's. And all, but one of us, have teenagers.  Technically, three of these teens are actually adults now.

If my sister is having age confusion, she's not alone.

A cousin group text thing was started several weeks ago. It was a break off from a chat group involving the older generation. In my mind, it became the chat group for us kids. 

But no actual kids were on it.

Now I don't always disconnect to the fact that I'm an adult.

For example, I felt very much an adult when we took Jack on his college tour. 

In general, I feel like an adult when it comes to mom stuff. And I probably usually feel like an adult when it comes to being a wife, mom, and aunt.

But when it comes to being a cousin, and when we're referring to our aunts, uncles, and parents; well, I feel like we're all fifteen again. 

Is this normal? Common?

Very common?

Or is there something wrong with us?

At least I know I'm not completely alone. At least I know at least one of my sister's is in the same boat. 

How about my other sister?  Does she see it the same way, or does she feel 100% adult?

How about my cousins? Where do they stand?

Do they have the sense of maturity that my sister(s?) and me sometimes lack?  If they do have it, and we don't...why?

I wonder about our kids. Or I should say...offspring.  I expect it's very common for older teens to not feel like bona-fide adults most of the time. 

But when you're in your forties?

Well, I did read this novel recently—Twenties Girl by Sophie Kinsella.  In that, a VERY old (and also dead) woman doesn't feel elderly. She feels like she's in her twenties. 

And I think I've read other places that people often fail to see themselves at their real age.  Maybe it's more common, though, for people to see themselves as younger adults rather than old adults vs seeing themselves as NOT-adults. 

I'm wondering about our parents, aunts, and uncles, How do they feel? Do they feel like adults all the time?  Or are they like my sister and me?  Maybe they feel like adults when they're with their children and grandchildren. But maybe when they're just among themselves...maybe they feel like kids again? 




How would our world change if we knew for sure there was life after death, and it was easy for our dearly-departed to talk to us via the Internet?   

The Dead are Online, a novel by Dina Roberts 

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