Not Me!

I finished listening to the rest of Liv and Mik's first episode of their podcast Living Autistically.  Towards the end of it, I found more stuff that I strongly relate to.

They talk about feeling validated in terms of being autistic; that although a diagnosis from a psychiatrist can help people feel validated, getting validation from fellow autistics can be equally or even more validating.

Validation can come from an autistic person telling us they think we're autistic, and it can also come from simply listening to autistic people and seeing how we relate so much to what they're saying.

BUT...sometimes the opposite happens.  

Sometimes autistic people say something, and we do not relate to it.  Then this can feed into our imposter syndrome.

In the podcast,  Liv says: 

Yeah.  And then I think it’s important to keep in mind that...For example, when you are listening to people that are autistic and their experiences that you can still be autistic even though you have different experience.  Because I think that happens to lots of us if we see a video of somebody saying oh I always have this when I do this. 

Liv and Mik then talk about how every autistic person is different, autism is on a spectrum, etc, etc.  

Mik then provides an example:

I had that a lot when I saw people… like a lot of autistic people cannot handle when their food touches each other; you know like when different compartments of foods touch each other.  I do not mind at all.  I love it when everything is mixed.

Liv interjects, Yeah. Me too. 

Mik says,  And I mean not if it’s a cold salad mixed with warm potatoes No please no. 

Liv seems to agree with this but then realizes they don't completely agree.  They seems to gain courage to speak their truth.  They say, oh, that can be delicious. 

Mik: Uh uh.  No.

Liv: You're not autistic. It's delicious.

I can relate to all that on multiple levels.

First, as I've mentioned in a previous post, I get the imposter syndrome when I hear autistic people talking about things I can't relate to.  

Second: I like my food mixed together.  And I'm team Liv in terms of mixing cold with hot. Although that changes sometimes if the food is in some sort of sandwich form.

I was thrilled to find a photo in my collection 
that fit well with this post 

The third thing is their joke about not being autistic...that reminds me of my own kind of sense of humor.

Anyway....

Something I've been thinking.....

When I wrote my post about autism in April, I thought I was kind of original and lonely in using the term imposter syndrome for something like autism rather than a career thing.  But no. Imposter syndrome seems to be very common among autistic people.

It's to the point that I'm wondering if imposter syndrome should be counted as an autistic trait. 

I wonder if autistic people commonly have a history of imposter syndrome with things besides autism?

I have. I had it with my eating disorder, my neurology stuff, being a writer... unschooling.

I even have it with fandom stuff.

Can I count myself as a fan of Lost? The Walking Dead?  Doctor Who?

Just as I compare myself to much-more-obviously-autistic people and feel very-much-not autistic, the same goes when I compare myself to much-more dedicated and intense fans.

Another thing I'm wondering is if imposter syndrome is more common in autistic people than allistic ones.

What if most people talking about imposter syndrome, in general...what if most of them are autistic?  

Circling back to getting imposter syndrome feelings from hearing things we can't relate to.  For me, this can happen when even ONE person says something I can't relate to.  But it's even worse when multiple people say it.  This could be two or three people on a video or podcast talking about something they have in common.  It could also be one person saying something and then many in comments agreeing with them.  

The thing I probably need to remind myself is that people who share the thing in common are probably more likely to comment than the people who don't.  But maybe this should be an incentive for people to speak up when they can't relate. Because it will help other people, who also can't relate to what was said in the video, feel less alone...and maybe stop them from having an imposter syndrome episode.  

How would our world change if we knew for sure there was life after death, and it was easy for our dearly-departed to talk to us via the Internet?   

The Dead are Online, a novel by Dina Roberts