A lot of the time, I am okay.
But other times...like right now, I feel this darkness setting over almost everything. I feel a darkness over our townhouse. I feel a darkness over my memories of our old house. I feel a darkness when I think about the new house we will be moving into...a darkness over the house and the new neighborhood.
Tonight the melancholy came around the same time the sun was setting. And I think I usually feel a bit awful when it starts to get all dark in the townhouse.
I really prefer day over night. I'm like a reverse vampire.
In a way, it doesn't make sense to me. I don't make sense to me. Because one of my favorite things about existing is sleeping and dreaming. And for me, like most people, that happens at night.
Tim and I also eat dinner together and watch our TV shows at night. That's another one of my favorite things.
My other positive night memory is carrying the bins to or from the curb at our old house. It was usually Tim's job, but I would take over when he was out of town. I loved looking up at the stars and finding comfort in being so insignificant. Until one day I imagined an intergalactic society happening....where being-canceled meant our mistakes being known by the whole damn universe.
Shit. I really don't know where to go with this post. I guess I just wanted to get my feelings out there?
And...right now the sun and daytime seems amazing and magical to me.
I would love to be at Epcot with Tim and Jack...and maybe others. Sometime in the future. Sitting on a bench in World Showcase, sharing one of those snow cones that Tim loves. It's maybe a little too hot. But that's okay. The snow cone syrup drips on our clothes. That alright as well. We don't notice that hardly anyone is wearing masks. We're not grateful that we hardly hear about Covid anymore. We're not thinking about how we're so lucky to be here. We're just sitting there happily taking it all for granted.
We talk a lot about the importance of remembering the past. I agree with this. I think it's very important. But I also hope that there are many hours where we totally forget...where we're just superficial, silly, and kind of stupid.
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| Sadly, I couldn't find an appropriate photo of a snow cone. But here's a lovely photo of an Epcot garbage bin. I love Disney World garbage bins. Though not as much as I love the carpets (and the food and rides and stuff) |
Those "just be" in Disney World are some of my favorite place/ moments. (World Showcase is one for me too.) They are great for "forgetting."
ReplyDeleteAlso the garbage cans are awesome.
Yeah. You know even though we kind of dread it...and wouldn't wait to be in a super long line, we started realizing that standing in the moderate-length lines is kind of part of the fun. Or at least part of the experience. There's so much about the little things. Like....just now. Popped in my head: After paying for our food in Sunshine Seasons, stopping by, getting condiments, finding a table, etc.
DeleteDisney lines are better than the attractions at many other parks.
DeleteOh yeah, fixins bar fun! I always forget how good the one at Cosmic Rays is, because I get distracted by Sonny Eclipse. (Yes, I am working on a proto grid now...here's hoping.)
Yes. I'm hoping! I look forward to reading your future Disney posts. We have tentative plans for May and November. Hopefully we will do at least one of those. The November one would be very likely without Jack...which would be kind of very sad. But also fun hopefully....when I'm not getting all nostalgic and crying.
ReplyDelete