Watching Lyric Videos on YouTube

I watched Māori singing videos with lyrics and then felt really blah. Kind of depressed.

I feel better now, because I did a tiny bit of soul-searching and figured out why it got me down. 

The reason?

After all my studying the past few month, I only knew a few words of the songs. 

And there was a word I thought I didn’t know, because it had a macron, and I didn’t think it had a macron.  

How can I succeed in this if I can’t remember which basic words have macrons?

So I’ve decided to quit and instead take up taxidermy.  Because we have so many backyard animals. And also a lot of family pets that are going to die someday.  

I’m joking.

I felt better once I realized why I was feeling blah.

I’m going to keep studying and keep hoping that someday I will watch a Māori lyric video and know the meaning of most of the words.  

I can’t control how well my brain works with language learning. But I do have control over how much time I put into learning and how much effort.

There are things I wish for that I have no control over…like people reading my writing and liking it. And peace and prosperity in countries now at war. And Donald Trump’s presidency turning out much less horrific than a lot of us fear…

It’s nice to have a wish and hobby that’s mostly dependent only on my own desire to keep working at it.  

A Wonderful Database

I follow a lot of wonderful Zionists on Instagram, including: 

Hen Mazzig 

A Wider Bridge

Amy Alberston 

Neurotic Jewish Gay

Roots Metals 

Zionness 

Matthew Nouriel 

Biggah 

But lately my favorite Zionist source is actually an anti-Zionist set of accounts. Whoever is running them has accounts for Zionists in film, Zionists in music, Zionist authors, Zionists in KPop, Zionists in Sports, Zionists in Winnipeg….

It’s very well put together; providing a list of projects from each celebrity I can support and visual aids/documentation of the Zionist’s Zionism.  

In the film account, they even have highlights divided by themes: Marvel, DC, Wicked…..

It’s brilliant.

It’s a great place to visit when I’m feeling isolated or overwhelmed by antisemitism.

Or when I learn the singer of one of my favorite songs hates Israel.

Or when I remember my favorite character on a TV show is played by an obsessive antisemite.  

Note: I’ve not had much use for the Winnipeg one yet.  But maybe someday they’ll do one for Texas?  That might be nice to have.  

Dear Generous and Tolerant Person

Dear Generous and Tolerant Person,

I don't need you to reluctantly stay friends with me or reluctantly keep a connection to me despite my Zionism.

Because...on balance, there are plenty of people out there who would like me FOR my Zionism.

And there are plenty of people who don't mind Zionism and wouldn't feel ashamed of or nervous about being associated with me.  

I'm crying my eyes out as I write this.

Just kidding.

I feel barely anything minus the sense that the less time I have to spend on conversing with people, the more time I have to engage in my special interests.

I do have low self-esteem and rejection issues.  But you disliking me because I'm Zionist?  That only makes me think less of you. NOT of me.  

Deleted a Song From My Playlist

Today I found out another performer I like is very anti-Israel.

I wasn't as fond as him as the other guy I wrote about recently.  So I'm less upset.

This one is known more for his acting than his singing.  But it turns out, I liked his songs and one particular song was on my playlist.  I won't be listening to it anymore.

As I've said before, I'm very much into personal-cancelling of people.

In my life, he is VERY canceled.

But there are enough people who hates Jews and Israel out there...that I expect him to easily find work with that audience...and audiences with people who are unaware or it's just a shrug-the-shoulders level of interest for them.  

I only once have campaigned against someone, and that's because their antisemitism was at a very very vulgar and violent-rhetoric level....like Westboro Baptist Church level.  And also, because I had a personal encounter with their hatred; then was shocked to see they had an actual composter credit on IMDb...with a pretty prestigious production company.  

I wrote a message to the production company and commented on an old post about the film.

My idea/hope was that this production company hired this person way before their antisemitism was on display and that they wouldn't want to hire them again. But who knows.

The person had only one credit to their name, and it would be hard to know if their film career died because of their very vocal, vulgar, and obsessive antisemitism or because that's just sometimes what happens to someone in the business.  Not everyone on IMDb end up with a long list of credits.

I would hope that most/all reputable filmmakers and companies would want to avoid working with this person.  I would hope the same for any Zionist who was hateful at that level...at that persistence.  

 

A Treat For Zombies

 While outside doing gardening, I had a very weird style of runny nose that led me to Googling, “Can brain fluid leak out of your nose?”

Anytime I have a weird symptom now, my brain jumps to: Does one of the antisemites out there have magical witch powers?  Am I being cursed?

It would be fair, because I keep hoping I have powers.  I mean not just passive hoping but actually taking action.  

With my mind.

So if you happen to have a nightmare that made you start to doubt your stance that hating-Israel-is-not-antisemitism….

Well, you’re welcome.

That was me.

Probably.

Legion: What I Liked and Disliked

 Things I liked about Legion:

1. Lennie (Aubrey Plaza)-Though I was confused and ended up being wrong about the nature of her character.

2. David (Dan Stevens).  I liked the character and the performance.  I like stories that explore interactions between the supernatural and mental health.

3. The Shadow King (Navid Negahban).  I once saw or read this thing about how the character spoke in different languages, but it wasn't random.  The choice of language corresponded with the mood/content.

4. That it led me down a Jemaine Clement rabbit whole...which really has been a long and winding path.  

5. The sushi conveyor belt restaurant...but it's not sushi.  It's breakfast.  That was awesome.  

Actually, was it a conveyer belt?  Or was it a boat thing?  Either way.  Fantastic.  

6. The cover songs by Noah Hawley and Jeff Russo. I don't think I've ever known of a show's creator to do the singing for a show.  I think it's pretty cool.  My favorite song is probably "Behind Blue Eyes", though the other day I was walking around the house singing "I am Superman".  I only knew that one line, so I was being quite repetitive.  

There were also a few days where I was into "Change the World".

And I love Rachel Keller's cover of "Road to Nowhere".

I pretty much love most of the songs, really.  

Things I did not like about Legion:

1. I was a little too confused at times.

2. The child-rape entrapment storyline. I was horrified by this and almost quit watching.  I'm actually not sure why we continued.  Maybe curiosity?  Or a hope that things would be eventually resolved in a way that made me feel less horrified.

3. The erasure of the Jewishness of the Holocaust.  

If I had watched Legion before I saw the antisemitic comments on the Instagram post about the Jewishness of Marvel being diminished, I would have probably felt slightly stung but mostly okay.  Because back then I was very much into the idea that lessons of the Holocaust should expand beyond antisemitism*

If I had watched Legion before October 7, I would have been annoyed...maybe a little angry.

Because we had watched Legion after October 7 and during the time that being-antisemitic was rising in popularity, I was disgusted and sad.

To be fair, Legion was made way before October 7. So I don't blame the creators. I'm sure there are things I've said and done before October 7 that haven't aged well.  I hope, though, that if given the opportunity, the creators will make better choices in the future.  Even better...I hope the creators will create the opportunities.

I do wonder if they made David's mother a Gypsy victim of the Holocaust, because they didn't want a storyline involving a Muslim/Arab abusing a Jew.  

Well...I just Googled to see if my anger was unfair and unwarranted.  And now I'm even more angry.

I was thinking maybe David's mother was a Gypsy in the comics and Noah Hawley was simply sticking to the source material.

But no.

According to this Marvel fansite, not only is Gabrielle Haller a Holocaust survivor, but she was also the ambassador of Israel to the UK.

There really IS a lot of Jewishness in the Marvel universe.

Shit.  I'm mad.

Here I've been the last few weeks wondering how Disney can help make things better for Jews by making a Jewish princess....or the equivalent.  

Something from the Torah?  Probably not.

Something like Turning Red but a Jewish story?  Maybe.

A Golem story?  Maybe.  And fun to imagine how it will trigger antisemitic Minecrafters. 

Something futuristic like Big Hero Six taking place in a peaceful Israel/Palestine with a mix of Palestinian and Jewish characters?  Yeah. That would be cool. 

But now I'm really seeing how Disney has done the opposite.

They've taken very Jewish stories and diminished the Jewishness.

It's so ugly.

But they did all this before October 7 and before being-antisemitic rose so steeply in popularity.

Now Disney is torn in two different directions.  1. Do anything remotely Zionist-friendly and be the target of hatred and boycotts  2. Continue to play erase-the-Jews and piss off people like me.

There are ways, though, to piss off only the extremists on both sides and make reasonable people on both sides fairly happy.  

EDITED TO ADD:  suddenly remembered, while listening to an advertisement for a comic book store, that Disney didn’t produce Legion. So, I can be less disgruntled with them. At least for that particular case of Jewish erasure/minimization.

EDITED TO ADD (a few minutes later). Or IS Disney partly responsible?  IMDb lists Marvel Entertainment and Marvel Television as some of the production companies?  Were they fully owned by Disney in 2017? 

It’s quite confusing.  Disney acquired FX before season 3 of  Legion. So can I blame them for stuff in season 3?  I can’t remember if the Holocaust stuff happened in season 2 or 3. 

*One day hopefully I will return to believing that Holocaust-teachings should expand beyond antisemitism.  But, at this time; in this environment, I can't be that person.  

Biden is a Zionist

This morning, I listened to the Chanukah celebration at the White House.

I thought it was lovely.

I think it’s quite a shame that Doug Emhoff isn’t going to be our first First Gentleman and our first Jewish First Gentleman.

Biden did a speech in which he didn’t sound at all like a guy who used to be a Zionist -until-he-visited-a-bookstore -on-Thanksgiving-weekend-and-came-out-holding-an anti-Israel book. 

In his Chanukah speech, Biden once again proclaimed to be a Zionist.

So maybe the book was thrust at him in the bookstore, and he walked out, holding it, not realizing it was anti-Israel.

OR

Maybe he hasn’t read it yet.  Maybe he’s saving it for retirement, and after he’s out of the White House, he’ll walk around New England wearing a Keffiyeh and water melon t-shirts.  

OR

Maybe he did read the book… or some of it. And maybe it’s the type of book that is only brilliant to people who are already antisemitic… whether that antisemitism is fueled more by hatred or ignorance.  

Has the book De-Zionized anyone?  

Has it Zionized anyone… like you know, people on the fence who are oppositional?  

Dear Dina From 2005

Dear Past Self:

When you are writing down your dreams on Livejournal, please write the last names of the minor characters.  

Or put a footnote explaining who these people are.

Because your future self of 2024 has no idea who Dominique is.  

And there have been other names as well that are now just a mystery.

Things I watched in 2024

Here's my yearly list of what I watched during the year, divided by the show/movie's main geographical settings (not filming location)

If interested, here's my lists for 2017, 2020, 2021, and 2022, and 2023.

I somewhat struggle to decide what should be included or not included.

For now, what's not included is CSPAN, Instagram/Tik Tok...and YouTube videos, except for short films and maybe a web series.  Sorry. I'm probably being unfair and inconsistent.  

Note: I'm probably going to avoid my usual thing of writing little comments next to the listed shows and movies. Instead, if I have the urge to say things, I will put them in separate posts.  

Another Note: Some things are unfinished, either because I'm watching only a season at a time; or I/we didn't like it.  

And another Note: I will probably be adding things in the next few weeks. 

ALGERIA

Outside the Law 

AUSTRALIA

Neighbours

All Saints 

The Nightingale 

"Beggars Belief" 

"Apricot"

Bluey

THE BAHAMAS

Our Flag Means Death 

CHINA

The Meg 

DENMARK

A Fortunate Man

The Only Way 

FRANCE

"La Chienne Francaise"

The Walking Dead: Daryl Dixon

The Olympics 

GREECE

Mama Mia Here We Go Again 

ISRAEL

World War Z

The Women's Balcony

ITALY

A Discovery of Witches  

KOSOVO

"Shok"

NEW ZEALAND

What We Do in the Shadows (rewatch) 

Wellington Paranormal 

"Two Cars, One Night"  

The Watercooler (a couple of episodes)

Fresh Meat 

Ōpaki 

SOUTH KOREA

M*A*S*H

Crash Landing on You

SPAIN

Cobra Kai 

UNITED KINGDOM 

Coronation Street 

Yesterday 

Our Flag Means Death 

"The Stutterer"

"Happier Alone"

Stath Lets Flats 

Toast of London  

The Cleaner 

Hannah Wanningham: Home for Christmas

Heartstopper

Time Bandits 

A Discovery of Witches 

UNITED STATES

The Other Two

Party Down

The Curse

The Holdovers 

Based on a True Story

Fargo 

Legion

Charmed 

Flight of the Conchords 

Dream Scenario

What We Do in the Shadows 

Musica

Licorice Pizza

"Green"

"Aunt Tigress"

"Man's Best Friend"

"Let's Eat"  

"Headcase"  

The Walking Dead

The Walking Dead: Dead City

The Walking Dead: Daryl Dixon 

Broad City 

Late Night with the Devil

Chance

Fallout 

Weird: The Al Yankovic Story 

The Bear

Beverly Hills Cop Axel F  

V

V The Final Battle 

Cobra Kai 

Abigail 

Lessons in Chemistry  

Sharknado  

World War Z

Deadpool

Deadpool 2

Fear the Walking Dead

Once Upon a Time 

A Quiet Place

A Quiet Place II

A Quiet Place Day 1

Civil War

Inside Out 2 

American Born Chinese 

St. Elsewhere 

Only Murders in the Building 

Agatha All Along 

Severance (rewatch)

Shrinking

Beetlejuice Beetlejuice

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation 

LOCATION UNKNOWN

The 100 (Somewhere on Earth but not sure where)

Ducktales (It might be known to others. But I forget) 

Silo 

THE OCEAN

Our Flag Means Death

The Meg 

MYSTICAL PLACE

Once Upon a Time 

From 

MULTIPLE LOCATIONS 

Frodo is Great...Who is That??!

Time Bandits 

Today's Song Obsession: Six Months in a Leaky Boat

I might start doing a lot of posts like this.

On some days, a song pops into my head, and I want to listen to it repeatedly or many times throughout the day.

Yesterday, it was very much: Stan Walker's "Find You".

Today I have "Six Months in a Leaky Boat" in my head.

It's by Split Enz, which I only learned of fairly recently.  They are Crowded House pre-Crowded House.

Like most American Gen Xers I have definitely heard of Crowded House.  Though as an American who was obsessed with Australia, I might have known of more Crowded House songs than the average Gen Xer.

I digress, though.  

That being said, I'm not sure I have anything actually to say about "Six Months in a Leaky Boat".

You know what.  Maybe what I'll do for these posts is watch a video or two.  Because I usually don't watch the videos.

Here's the official video of the original 1982 song.

It has a long introduction, over a minute. Pictures of old ships and stuff. For me, kind of boring. But probably loved by the type of people who like Maritime museums.

The video makes me think how I'm not really into videos.  And maybe I won't look at official videos for these posts.

Maybe instead I'll look for covers, because I often love that.

Here's Vika & Linda singing at the Sydney Harbour 2022 New Years Celebration.  Their names looked vaguely familar to me, and unfamiliar enough to make me feel I've become out of touch with Aussie music.

I'm not sure if they were a thing back when I was obsessed with Australia, and they just flew outside my radar.  Or if they've become popular more recently.  

Here's Tim Finn and Māori women singing the song in Māori.  I have this version on my playlist too.

The song sounds much better in Māori.  I usually like to say these things as opinion.  But I think, with this, it's fact. 

Dear Neighbor

Dear Neighbor,

Hi!

Last weekend when we had that gas leak adventure, I was standing next to you and your two dogs.  You remarked that this was a bad time for this to be happening.  I assume you meant the weather.

My response to you was, "It could be worse".

I'm totally against toxic positivity, so I'm ashamed that I said that.

Although a part of me thinks it might be sort of okay, because I actually meant what I said.  

See, I hate cold weather.  And I felt it was much less cold than it has been at times these past few weeks.  Even in my shorts, I felt okay.

If I lied and agreed with you...if I said, "I know. Right?" than I fear that would have been people-pleasing-behavior.

What's worse?

I'm not sure.

Anyway, it was nice having that neighborly disaster-bonding moment with you.  I hope I didn't fuck it up too much.

 

Dear Actor Who Hates Zionists

Dear Actor Who Hates Zionists,

I hate you back.

Tradition has it that I'm to say you're untalented and that I never liked your work.

But that's not true.

I think you're very talented, and I used to love your work.

You have made me laugh.

You've brought joy to my life.

I even managed to laugh a little, watching you, after I already knew how much you hated people like me.  

But mostly I just felt....

Well, I felt like most people feel when they know someone hates them.  

I'm a bit delusional at times, and I've had this fantasy that you meet me and suddenly think, She's so nice! Maybe I don't hate Zionists after all!

But that's very far-fetched.  Because A) we live in different worlds.  The chance of us meeting is like one in a zillion. B) I'm very much lacking charm and adorability.  If we did meet, you'd probably come away hating Zionists even more.

Anyway....

I'm going to end this with a polite lie. It might be partially the truth.  I'm not sure.

I wish you well in your career and life. Good-bye.  

Is Neighbours My Crystal Ball?

On Saturday, there was a knock at the door.

Tim answered it and then told me, We need to get out of the house now!

There was a gas leak next door.

It was exciting in that bond-with-your-neighbors-you-hardly-know way.

It was scary, because our cats were still in the house.

I mean we attempted to grab one and put him in the carrier but understood quickly it was a loss cause and went with hoping-for-the-best.

The best happened.

All was resolved in about twenty minutes.

What I heard is that someone hit the gas meter and then drove off.

This happened on Neighbours recently! 

Okay but not only that.  A day or two before, Tim had been telling me about a work related real estate drama. After he finished venting, I had started watching an episode of Neighbours and Toadie (Ryan Moloney) got a text with a very similar real estate drama.  

I think I should start seeing every storyline on Neighbours as a warning.

A Message For the Christmas Season

Dear People Who Celebrate Christmas:

If the only way you can feel comfortable celebrating Christmas this year is believing and saying that Jesus was a Palestinian....

You are antisemitic AF.

Hope your eggnog tastes rotten.

Hope your Christmas lights get tangled.

Hope the roast gives you gas.

Hope Santa breaks the shingles on your roof.

Questions I Have About Ōpaki

I'm really loving Ōpaki.  Though I'm trying to watch it slowly, because a part of me feels I should wait and watch it when I can understand more.

I'm trying to balance watching the show with doing other sorts of te reo learning.

Though another part of me wonders if watching the show while struggling to understand IS the best way to learn. 

Well...maybe I'm doing the right thing, then.  If it's a bad idea to watch the show at this point, I'm not watching a lot of it.  If it's a good idea to watch the show, that's cool, because I'm doing that.

Anyway...

What I really wanted to talk about is things I wonder about the show regarding how much is real and how much is staged.

The show's premise is three people come to stay at this house with the host Pānia Papa.  

Each group stays for....I think three to four episodes?  I'm currently with the second group.

So far, it's started with the three people hanging out in the kitchen where they talk about where they're from.

Then two of them go into a bedroom where they chat the best they can in te reo Māori and kind of quiz each other and/or compare vocabulary.

While this is happening, Pānia Papa talks to the third person in the laundry room.  After a bit of chatting, they meet up with the other two in the bedroom.

I'm rambling.

I probably don't need to describe the whole set up.

What I'm struggling to get at is my curiosity about....

A) Is this a real house or a set?

B) Are the guests truly sleeping over?  There's conversation about how well the guests slept. Is that just language practice, or a (somewhat) real conversation?

C) If two of the guests are actually sleeping in the room that's shown, how is the filming done?  Is there a camera person in with them?  Or is a camera placed somewhere?  If so, is the camera on all the time and then they edit out the private stuff like sleeping, snoring, farting, etc?

Can you tell I don't watch a lot of reality TV?

I guess one of the main things I'm wondering is if this is an overnight educational experience mostly for the benefit of the guests, and they tape portions of the show to expand the benefits to others.

Or is it mostly a staged production with the main purpose of educating viewers? 

So...for example.  They will play a game to practice te reo Māori; then as Pānia Papa says some closing remarks, the group will continue to play the game.  Is this just for show?  Or do they actually continue once the camera stops rolling.

Both Sides Now

A song I have found cathartic lately is "Both Sides Now" by Jodie Mitchell.

I've kind of taken liberty with the lyrics to fit my situation and feelings...in a way that Mitchell probably didn't intend.

For me, the clouds are various media outlets/entities. 

Before the aftermath of October 7, these entities were "angel hair" and "ice-Cream castles in the air".

They brought me feelings of comfort, vindication, and validation.

They made me feel less alone.

At times, they felt like family.

In a way, they were my moral compass.

And now, too many of them have become "Rain and snow on...."

Well, not everyone.

But Jews.

Israel.

Anyone who supports Israel.  

***

Reading the lyrics...

Two parts really get to me:

A) It's cloud illusions I recall

I really don't know clouds at all

Because I don't know what to think of the clouds.  Are they mostly good and unfortunately infected with a bit of antisemitism.  Or has antisemitism been a major part of their substance all along?

B) Oh, but now old friends, they're acting strange

And they shake their heads and they tell me that I've changed

Well, something's lost but something's gained

In living every day

Well...minus the part about people telling me I've changed. No one has done that.

My life is full of rejection...both real and perceived.

It's hard for me to know for sure what's the usual rejection and what's antisemitism.

***

There's a part of me that's telling me that I'm being hypersensitive, and I shouldn't make assumptions.  And I don't know what's going on in people's lives.  Blah, blah, blah.

But with everything going on and the stuff I post on Instagram...I think maybe I actually have the right to make these assumptions and think the worse.

And I think I have fair reason to decide that I probably don't want these people in my life anymore.  If they decide to want to come back.

If they've been a bit antisemitic the past few months and then change their minds...do I want them back in my life?

If they're not antisemitic but are just oblivious or insensitive to how these times have been hard, and they haven't taken the time to reach out, do I want them back in my life?  

The answer I have to these questions right now might not be the same answer I have in a few weeks or few months.

***

My willingness to let these people back into my life (if they tried to return) are going to be determined by

A) My desire to be social (which is often low)

B) My hyper/misplaced empathy

C) My feelings of nostalgia (often high...especially when listening to music).

I might be very firm about wanting to kick someone to the curb.  Then I hear a song that reminds me of time we spent together...and suddenly my cold heart is thawed.  

***

I would like to keep my heart cold.

But just to those who deserve it.

Not to those who don't.

Sometimes I go the route of I'm-going-to-reject-you-before-you-reject-me.  I feel bad about that.  

***

Well...it's really more along the lines of, I feel someone backing away, so...simultaneously, I back away too.

 

 

Spotify Unwrapped (Part 3)

I saw the full list of my most-listened-to-songs on Spotify.  Then it vanished. I couldn't find it.

But this morning, it popped up again.  So I took a screenshot.

This is the secondary group of songs.

The first ones were featured in the actual Unwrapped Screenshot...which I shared in part 2.  

I mentioned "All the Goodbyes in the World" in that post, because I didn't know I would have the excuse to talk about it in this post.

It's such a beautiful song.

I was going to copy and paste some of the lyrics, but I can't pick and choose.  It's all so beautiful. 

 I'm fighting back tears just looking at them.

***

"Carole Brown" is a very cute song.

Though I actually like "If you're Into It" more.

Sometimes a song gets up higher on the list because of Spotify Shuffle and not because I actually chose to listen to it more.

That being said....

With Flight of the Conchords, I tended to become obsessed with one song.  I would listen to it repeatedly; than move onto another song.

"If you're Into It" might be my favorite in the TV show.  Not only did I listen to it on Spotify a lot but also repeatedly watched it on YouTube.

 

***

"Legacy" is a very indie song.

It's sung by a friend of someone very important to me.

I'm hoping the singer has a lot of career success.

I hate seeing talented people not being seen enough.

***

"Hi Gene" is another song I mentioned in Part 2...not realizing I'd have the excuse to talk about it here.

One thing I'd add is that I listened to it several times before paying attention to the lyrics and realizing

"Hi Gene" is about "Hygiene".  And as a person with OCD-contamination style, I find it somewhat relatable.

***

"Wandering Under the Moon" is a beautiful and very positive song about the bright side of post-apocalyptic life.

***

"Hurricane" is a song very well-known in the post October 7 Zionist world.

And it's probably also known among people who follow the drama of Eurovision.

***

If October 7 hadn't happened, and we hadn't watched Legion...I think my music for 2024 would have maybe been dominated by Danish music.  

We went to Copenhagen in August 2023, and I had been trying to stay connected by reading about Denmark and listening to Danish music.

I had been very intrigued by Freetown Christiana; though we unfortunately never got around to visiting.

Through my reading and listening, I came across Lucas Graham who grew up in the neighborhood.

And that's why I started listening to "Mama Said" many times.

***

I have more links than I wanted in this post.

I really want to do less linking.

But once I put some in links, I feel obligated to put links for all.

But if I put links for all songs; then I feel there will be an expectation of this level of links in all my posts.  And I don't want that.

So I'm kind of purposely being inconsistent in this post.

Dear Friend Who Wrote Me Back….

Dear Friend Who Wrote Me Back Several Months Later:

No, I didn’t think you forgot about me.

I thought you found out I was a Zionist.

Or you made a logical guess based on statistics and concluded I was probably a Zionist.

Now that you’ve written. I’m not sure if it’s because…

A) you’re totally okay with Jews, Zionist or not.

B) You’re ignorant about the statistics and can’t imagine a progressive American Jew like me would ever be one of those evil Zionists. 

Spotify Unwrapped (Part 2)

So...that's part of my Spotify Unwrapped.

Before Jemaine Clement came into our lives via Legion, my musical goals were centered around Dan  Romer and The Beatles. 

Dan Romer was a result of my listening to the soundtrack of Station Eleven and deciding I want to listen to everything he's ever made. 

The Beatles were a result of seeing the movie Yesterday and deciding I wanted to do a deep dive of all their music.

That one didn't last.  I think mainly because I realized I actually liked the Beatles songs better when Himesh Patel is singing them.

I just realized the first and last artist on my list are connected to Himesh Patel.  

Patel was one of the stars of Station Eleven.

How cool is that?

I should mention....I didn't do a screenshot, but I'm like in the top .002% of Dan Romer's listeners.  

I can still get the screenshot if anyone out there is needing proof.

Not sure why anyone would need proof.

But...who knows.

Oh! Well....there might be a very competitive Dan Romer fan out there.  They might demand to see the

proof behind my declarations. 

***

The three artists in the middle are all from New Zealand.

Two led to three...fairly directly.

I'm not sure how I ended up finding four.  

I started listening to a lot of Māori music which may have led me to Stan Walker.

Or...I remember seeing someone using one of his songs on their Instagram post.  Though for me to notice that, I would have probably already had to have been familar with his name.

***

As for the songs....

I think it's funny that, except for Flight of the Conchords, none of the artists match the songs.

In actuality, I think I did listen to Stan Walker's song the most.  That would be "Aotearoa".  But I mostly listened to it on the Alexa Echo while showering.  And Alexa is hooked up to Tim's Spotify account rather than mine.

There were multiple days where I requested the song on repeat.

***

I was kind of surprised that my most listened to Flight of the Conchords song was "Feel Inside".  But I vaguely remember, one afternoon, having it on repeat.

Also, I think there were many days where I'd be eating feta cheese. Or thinking about eating feta cheese. I'd think of the song and then want to play the song.

***

"In Time" resulted from Coronation Street. 

I lost my link to the show when Hulu stopped carrying it. Then months later, Tim had digital credits from Amazon and offered them to me, so I could have a month of Britbox.

"In Time" played during a special episode featuring Lauren (Cait Fitton).  I liked the song; saved it, and kind of forgot about it.

Then I became re-attached to Coronation Street and was kind of a lot sad about saying goodbye. In my time of mourning, The song came on via shuffle and I then listened to it over and over and over.

I might have been crying part of the time.

(This event might have been to painful for me to remember and write about...but it's not. Because thanks to Black Friday sales, I currently have two months of Coronation Street)

***

"Something in the Water" was another song I added to my playlist and didn't give much attention to until...

We were watching The Walking Dead, and there was an episode involving poisoned water.  And the song came into my head.  I started listening to it and became slightly obsessed for a few days.

And though I mostly listened to the cover by The Wellington  International Ukulele Orchestra, I started to also listen to Brooke Fraser's original version...and other music by her.

***

"Okay" is by Five For Fighting and is about October 7—the massacres, the hostages, the antisemitism, etc.  I love the song and also love that a musician I like is so supportive.

It's wonderful to learn about an artist BECAUSE of their advocacy.

But it's extra nice to already have liked that artist.

"Superman" is one of my favorite songs.

"Carried Away" is by the Aussie singer Jae Laffer. I didn't know him by name until this year but was familar with songs from his group The Panics. 

I added some of his songs to my playlist and then forgot the who the what and the why.

Then one morning during the days we were watching Our Flag Means Death, I heard "Carried Away" and assumed I got it from the show.

It seemed to fit so well.

It took me awhile and some confirming to convince myself it was not played in the show.

Even now, I feel unsure and am tempted to re-check.

Another song that I misplaced in a show was...."Hi Gene" by Glenn Richards.

I added some of his music to my playlist after seeing Late Night with the Devil.

I guess I saw his name on IMDb and then decided to listen to a bunch of his music.

So then I thought that "Hi Gene" was played at the end of Late Night with the Devil.

But it seems that wasn't the case.

If I'm wrong about being wrong, please let me know in the comments.

***

Back to Don McGlashan, because I feel I didn't talk about him enough.  My favorite songs of his, thus far, are "All the Goodbyes in the World" and "Girl, Make Your Own Mind Up".

***

I wish there had been more Brett McKenzie on my list, because I listened to a LOT of his music. And not just Flight of the Conchords stuff.  

I'm also disappointed to not have more Māori music, because I listened to a ton. But I can understand it's absence, because I listened to such a variety of artists and a variety of songs.  I failed to consolidate enough.

I think if they had included genres on Spotify Unwrapped this year, I would have gotten something with Māori music and maybe something with Hebrew/Jewish music.

Really...all in all...I'd say that Spotify Unwrapped doesn't do a great job of representing my music experience.  Still...I'll probably still be obsessing about Spotify Unwrapped 2025.  

Spotify Unwrapped (Part 1)

I didn't want to admit it the other day, but the other thing ruining my day was the disappointment of Spotify Unwrapped.

I might anticipate Spotify Unwrapped as much as other people anticipate Halloween and/or Christmas. 

Or Sukkot? 

Eid?

I think about Spotify Unwrapped often.  Maybe every time I like a song or artist? Wondering if it/they will show up on my Unwrapped.

Anyway, I ended up disappointed.

First I was disappointed by the Unwrapped itself. But I wasn't sure why.

Second I was disappointed that on Instagram, people were making fake Unwraps as memes. The first one I saw was pro-Israel and/or anti-antisemitism.  I liked it, thinking it was clever.

But then I saw it more and more...

It started to feel less clever and more....

Mocking.

I felt it was mocking people like me...people who care so much about what's on their Spotify Unwrapped.

Do we deserve to be mocked?

Yes.

Probably.  

I later saw an articles about how people were disappointed with Spotify Unwrapped this year.  

Reading it, I realized my disappointment about the actual results had merit.

Last year, and perhaps other years, Spotify provided us with our musical genre anda musical geographical result thing.  Well, I remember the genres for at least the last two years. I only remember my geographical thing from last year.

It had been Brisbane, which is a fact now I treasure even more, because of my love for Bluey.

This year I was hoping for New Zealand...which wouldn't be an unrealistic hope.  I listened to a LOT of music from New Zealand.

Well...I was going to put some screenshots from my Spotify Unwrapped in this post. But since I'm trying to make shorter posts, I'm going to go ahead and do a sequel post.

Ōpaki

One of the new and wonderful things in my life lately is a Māori TV show called Ōpaki.  

It's one of the very few programs on the Māori TV apps that is available worldwide...vs. only in New Zealand or only in New Zealand and Australia.  

It works out, though, for me, because Ōpaki is a language-learning show, and that's what I'm wanting most out of the Māori TV app.

The show consists of three Te Reo Māori-learning guests being hosted in a house by Pānia Papa, a sports star who became a Māori language advocate and teacher.

During the show, they have simple conversations that are mostly too hard for me to understand.  Because although the three guests are beginners, they're farther along than I am.  But I do understand a little bit here and there, which makes me feel good.

Here and there, the show translates some of the vocabulary at the bottom of the screen. I feel some glory if I already knew the word.  I feel some gratitude if it's a new word.  I feel frustration and failure if it's a word I already learned and then forgot.  

Along with the conversations, they also play games and other activities to teach vocabulary.  For example, they played a game where one houseguest placed their set of objects in a certain way while instructing a second houseguest on how to place the same set of objects. Without either guest being able to see what the other was doing.

Jack and I used to play this game together when he was young.  But in English.

Anyway, the game on the show helps to teach the names of objects while also teaching direction words.

In the episode I've been watching today, there was a surprise knock on the door.

I don't know if it was a surprise for them too or just me.  Because I could understand very little of the conversation before the knock on the door.

The fun thing is, I recognized the guy at the door.  I wasn't sure if I was imagining it or not.  But soon I learned it was who I thought it was—Hēmi Kelly from the Māori Phrase a Day YouTube Channel.  

This crossover of two different avenues of my Māori-learning world brought me some extra joy.  I guess, because it kind of signified that this has become a big part of my life.  It's like...okay, I might not understand a lot of phrases.  But I do recognize some of the big characters of the Te Reo Māori Education world.  

My Bad Day Continues

Yeti threw up outside in his car carrier. That’s about as awful as stepping in cat vomit and tracking it around the kitchen.

Poor Yeti was unable to exit the cage without stepping in the vomit. So he too ended up tracking vomit around the kitchen.

I say Poor Yeti, because I think he might hate vomiting as much as me. Whenever he throws up, he jumps away from it in a certain way.  Like he’s disgusted and wants to avoid contamination.  

And when I checked him outside, he was standing as much as he could away from the vomit.

In comparison, Annie would have probably sat there playing with it or eating it.  In fact, if it had been Annie, I probably wouldn’t have realized she vomited. I would have maybe just seen the wet spot and assumed she had done some vigorous outdoor bathing.  

Tim helped me clean up the vomit.  I pretended to be a person with only a minor touch of OCD… the type of person satisfied with a one paper towel and a two wipe cleaning.  

Then when I was very sure he had left; that the car was truly gone, I cleaned the carrier some more.This involved more wipes and then wet paper towels to remove the bleach (so cats don’t later get poisoned).

I think you can know you have a major problem when people in your life know you have this problem, yet they know only the tip of the iceberg, because you hide so much.

Anyway… during the rest of the day, I’ve been trying to stay focused on the audiobook I downloaded yesterday.  I started reading it last night and liked it.

But today I kept having to replay what I heard, because I was so distracted by antisemitic celebrities and vomit trauma.  

I finally started to feel my brain was absorbing the book. 

I was on chapter four which is past the usual chapter in which I decide whether or not to commit to a book and add it to Goodreads.

I went to add it and saw I have already read the book. In 2019. This disturbs me, because the book didn’t feel even remotely familiar to me.  

I immediately returned it to the library. But now I’m wondering if I should have read it again.  Since I didn’t remember it.  

No….

The book is too connected to the bad day.  I’d rather start something new. 

Maybe.  

I sit here thinking that it’s also cold and rainy and my hands are cut up from all the handwashing I do.  But I should be glad things are not worse which makes me feel worse as I remember all the bad that will eventually probably actually happen.  Damaging storms, disease… tragedy… death…..

I Hate Australia So Much

I hate Australia.  Like any decent person on the right side of history would.  

But please don’t think I’m anti-Aussie.

I’m perfectly fine with Aussie people… as long as they don’t live in Australia or show any support of Australia.  

It is very important not to conflate Aussies with Australia.  Some of them are decent human beings and hate Australia as much as me.  

All of us who are moral human beings must refuse to give Australia or those who support Australia our business.

I refuse to watch any TV show or movie that has Australian actors.

I’m canceling Amazon Prime. How dare they platform Neighbours, the most disgusting piece of Australian propaganda out there?

I might also cancel Spotify.  Do you know how much Australian crap is on there?!

I’m never going to read any book written by an Aussie  author…UNLESS they loudly declare they hate Australia and Australians.  

I might organize protests to take place at zoos around the world… in their Australian sections.  No, I don’t hate the innocent animals.  But I very much don’t support the exploitation of animals as tourism propaganda.  No moral, decent person would visit Australia or try to trick other people into visiting!!!!!

Do you want to know something incredibly sad?

There’s an Australian cafe in our city!!! I cry every time, I think about it.  It upsets me so much.  I’m shaking, just thinking about it.  

I have no problem with Aussies owning restaurants.  But this one blatantly promotes Australia.  It has Australian food, Australian wallpaper, Australian accents…..

WTF is wrong with people?????

I see people eating in that evil cafe, and I don’t understand how they live with themselves?  Are they themselves evil?  Or just ignorant?  Neither one is excusable, IMHO.

Anyway… I really don’t like getting political. But some things go beyond politics.  Sometimes we have to have the courage to stand up against pure Evil… even if it means being canceled.   

A Bad Day So Far

I’m having a bad day so far.

First I stepped in cat vomit… and not realizing it, I tracked it around the kitchen.

This would probably be a ten minute clean-up job for most people. But since I have OCD and a vomit phobia, it took about an hour for me to deal with it. And I still feel unsettled.

Second, I learned one of my favorite actors from one of my favorite TV shows is very antisemitic.

I had seen something in passing months ago and hoped it was just a criticism of an Israeli official.

But no.

I went to this actor’s Instagram, and hating Israel seems to be his main focus in life.  Or at least his social media life. 

And then I started going down a rabbit hole of shitty despair… wondering if other people working on the show hate Jews. Or if they’re indifferent to Jews, are they perfectly cool with their coworker’s antisemitism?  

I would like to be able to believe that some of them are as unhappy as me and never wanting to work with him again. 

I imagine if an antisemitic person finds this post, they will feel a lot of glee. I can’t fault them at that. Because I felt delight seeing people, on Reddit, whine in disappointment, about certain celebrities being Zionist. 

Sunflowers

The first summer we lived in our Carrollton house, one sunflower randomly grew in our front yard.  I was very delighted.

2022

In the fall, I collected some of the seeds and planted them in the backyard.  Which often equates to me throwing seeds into the air and hoping for the best.  

We ended up with about 5-7 big sunflowers.  Some were probably from the front sunflower and others were likely from bought seeds and/or uneaten bird/squirrel food. 

 

2023

In the Spring of 2024, many, many baby sunflowers started sprouting up.  

2024

Though it's hard for me to do, I aborted quite a few of them.  

But we still ended up with a forest of sunflowers.

2024

It was beautiful but messy.

In terms of wildlife, it was wonderful.  Especially in terms of bees. 

In terms of being able to walk in our backyard...not so great.

In terms of Tim being able to move the lawnmower through the backyard to get to the front from the garage...not so great.

We got a stern letter from the HOA at one point.  I had to trim things down a bit.  Which I had planned to do anyway...as the weather got cooler.  Our HOA tends to have unpleasant timing.  

This next spring, I'm going to try to thin things out much more.  And I'm expecting a shitload of babies.

My aim is to have a small section of the yard crowded with sunflowers but have other areas where we can walk, let other things grow, etc.

As for the dead sunflowers, I've been working a lot to cut the remnants into small pieces, leaving them in the yard...rather than filling bags and bags and bags and bags of landscaping bags.  I love doing it.  It's a great thing to do while listening to audio books, podcasts, Neighbours, etc. 

Who Cares

Michael Rapaport posted an Instagram Reel this morning that seems to suggest he believes there would have been much more compassion and outrage for the hostages held by Hamas if they were Black, Puerto Rican, or white.

What?????

I’m kind of hoping I’ve misunderstood him.  

Black people and other groups have been complaining for years about what the Jews are complaining about now.

They feel

We feel 

OUR lives matter less.

I think these feelings do have merit.

But it’s not due to a worldwide consensus.

It’s about particular audiences.

On 21st century university campuses around the world… especially elite, expensive ones that lean left… I’m sure they would be much more concerned for the hostages if they were Black.  (As long as they weren’t Israeli Black people).

At Fox News Stations, they would probably be working hard to point out that there was a lot of drug use going on at the Nova Festival.  IF the hostages were Black (and not Israeli).

Both the left and the right have groups they care about more and groups they care about much less.  

Or sometimes it’s worse than not-caring.  It’s not indifference but hatred with a belief the people deserve the bad that has happened to them. 

I know what Eli Wiesel said.  And yeah.  Indifference can be very bad… but really only if bad things are happening to us. 

If I’m having a nice morning, drinking my coffee and eating my bagel…it’s not going to hurt me, at that moment, if the world is indifferent to me.  

Bethany Had No Love Handles

I’m sadly no longer watching Coronation Street full time, because Hulu stopped carrying it.  But I step back into Weatherford here and there, such as when having extra digital credits from Amazon or Cyber Monday sales makes temporarily subscribing to BritBox a good deal.  

Anyway… I’ve been catching up by watching sporadic episodes from the last few months.

One storyline has Bethany (Lucy Fallon) hospitalized with a stoma bag situation, because her discounted liposuction in Turkey went very wrong.  

Her Uncle David (Jack P Shepherd) confesses he might be partly to blame.  Bethany had mentioned to him that she was researching Liposuction for a story… and, I guess, seemed intrigued by it on a personal level.  

David had made a joke along the lines of her having extreme love handle issues.

Even though she didn’t.  And David didn't think she did. He was just trying to be funny, not realizing she had body image issues.

The drama reminded me of times that men in my family have made little jokes/comments that crushed my self-esteem.

It could be that they actually wanted to lower my self-esteem… take away some of my power to make themselves more powerful.

But it could have also been that they were totally joking and wrongly believed I had a ton of confidence about the issue and would have taken it in stride. 

I also worry that I may have jokingly-insulted people, at points in my life, believing that they had self-confidence about the issue and therefore would be amused rather than wounded.

I don’t want to preach that we should stop joking and teasing.  

Maybe we just need to be more mindful… 

Maybe clarify we’re joking… if we suspect the joke wasn’t received in the way we intended.

And....

Maybe if we tend to roast someone in most of our interactions, we need to surprise them with a compliment here and there.

Dear Singer

Dear Singer of the Song I’m Starting to Love,

Do you hate Israel?

Do you hate Jews?

I’d like to know before I listen to your song obsessively and repeatedly… and save all your other albums.

I don’t want you on my 2025 Spotify unwrapped if you’re  a Hamas fan.  

I Dare You….

 It must be that Joe Biden is playing truth or dare.

The first dare was to exit a bookstore carrying an anti-Israel book. And he’s not allowed to offer an explanation.  

The second dare was to pardon his son even though he promised not to.  

What’s next?

I suggest maybe he go with truth next time.  

Or play a different game.  

False Starts

I started to feel discouraged about getting back to blogging, because today I started 2 or 3 posts that I ended up deleting. 

I hate when I do that. It feels like I wasted time and energy for nothing.

But I’m going to work on being okay with it.

Since I’m writing shorter posts, it’s at least less time wasted.  Right? 

And maybe it’s better to start and stop sometimes rather than stopping the starting all together.  

But as I write such encouragement, I start spiraling…

What’s the point of writing when so many other people are writing?

What’s the point of writing if ChatGPT could say it better?

My argument against negative me: A lot of the other stuff you do is pointless as well.  So just… 

Keep on going.  I guess.  

It Would Hurt Less If

It would hurt less if the hate wasn’t coming so strongly from our own political team.

It would hurt less if the hate wasn’t coming from institutions we admired.  

It would hurt less if we didn’t see the hate becoming more and more socially acceptable.

It would hurt less if the hate was new rather than simmering quietly for years.  

Will They Convert?

There are a few non-Jewish Zionists who have become SO passionate about fighting antisemitism and defending Israel.  It makes me wonder if there are ones who will end up converting to Judaism.

I sort of hope so.

Or I very much hope so.

I remember learning somewhere that there's a belief that if someone wants to convert to Judaism, it's because they actually have a Jewish soul.

I looked it up yesterday.  Here's more info if anyone wants to read more about it.  

I feel it can be compared to the transgender experience.

Just as a woman may be "assigned male" at birth, a Jew may be assigned "Gentile at birth".

I don't know if I would apply the Jewish-soul thing to people who convert for marriage.

I'm arguing inside my head.

Not all people marrying Jews convert.  So if only some convert, might that be because they are the ones who have Jewish souls?  And maybe that's one of the reasons, the universe chose that particular life-partner for them.

But I think there are other factors. Some Jews might refuse to marry a non-Jew unless that person converts.  This might come from their own beliefs, or they might receive pressure from family and community.    

People You Didn’t Realize We’re Palestinians

 The casting of a white, genocidal, colonialismist apartheid-supporting actress to play Mary in the Netflix movie has helped social-media scholars and activists to shed light on the fact that Mary, the Mother of Jesus, was Palestinian.  

It is important to educate the world on what other important people were Palestinian.

Here’s a list. 

1. Jesus (obviously) 

2. Both dads of Jesus 

3. Andrew Loyd Webber who wrote the musical about the whole thing. 

4. All the characters in the musical that Andrew Lloyd Weber wrote. Minus the villains. Herod and Judas were Zionists.  

5. Tim Rice. He’s the Palestinians that wrote the lyrics to the musical.

6. Jason Donovan and Donny Osmond who played the Palestinian Joseph in the other musical by Tim Rice and Donny Osmond.

7. Kylie Minogue who played Donovan’s wife on the Palestinian TV show Neighbours.  

8. Chris Hemworth who had a very brief role on Neighbours but later became very famous by playing the ancient Palestinian God Thor.

Biden Buys an Anti-Israel Book

Today I learned from my morning news scrolling that President Biden bought an anti-Israel book.

I’m not talking about an anti-war book or an anti-Likud book but instead one that looks to be against Israel’s actual existence.

I’m fairly concerned that Biden bought the book, but this could be explained/excused as him wanting to further understand the opposing viewpoint.

What concerns me more, though, is that he so publicly bought the book. He walked out of the bookstore holding the book as if hoping for a publicity shot.

It was like he was virtue-signaling.  

He could have been much more discreet…. Like download the book at home for his phone. Or ordered the book delivered from Amazon.

He could have bought a stack of books from the shop and hidden them in a reusable tote bag.  

The Lovecraft Investigations

 I’ve started to listen to the podcast The Lovecraft Investigations for the third time.

Why?

I find the voice actors and the characters very comforting.  I might want them in my life forever. 

And….

My brain just can’t keep up with all the different characters and information.

I think I will need to listen to it at least five times before I fully 

understand what’s going on.  

My Homeland

I love and support Israel in a social justice kind of way.

I know it is the indigenous homeland of my tribe.

But I feel MY homeland will always be Epcot and The Beach Club resort.

Criticizing Israel

People will complain. "Say anything negative about Israel, and you're labeled antisemitic."

These people are right.

At the same time, they are also wrong.

It really depends on who is responding to their criticism.

If a right-wing Zionist is responding to the criticism, the critic will very likely be called antisemitic.

If a centrist or progressive Zionist is responding, it will depend on the criticism.  

And it will depend on the mood.

It will depend on the day.  

I'm hypersensitive about criticism of Israel; though I understand some criticism has merit.  

The other thing is. The same group/groups that accuse Jews of weaponizing antisemitism are probably the same groups who weaponize Islamaphobia.  

And vice-versa.

Maybe what we all need to do is learn to distinguish between deserved-criticism that hurts are feelings...because we're hypersensitive.  Vs. criticism that is dishonest, manipulative, involves double standards, etc.  

Offended by Products

If we are offended by products a store is selling, before we launch a loud boycott and pressure the store to stop selling the products; we should ask ourselves if the store sells products that we like that would offend others.  

I’m not going to be happy seeing watermelon-kids clothes saying Free Palestine.  If it’s a small business, I’ll just say it’s not a place I personally want to shop.  It certainly doesn’t need to be boycotted with the intent of pressuring the store to stop selling the product.  

If I’m fine with a small business selling pro-Israel products, I should be willing to accept a small store selling Pro-Palestinian products.  

If it’s a big store….

If it’s a big company selling free Palestine kids clothes, I would want to see them also selling Jewish and pro—Israel products.

If they don’t, I would be mad and offended.  

I’m not sure what I’d do with that anger besides trying not to shop there anymore.  

Well… if I had the time and energy, I’d reach out to the company to request they carry more Jewish products.  

All of this could apply to Christians offended by LGBTQ+ products.  

Or anti-Zionists offended by products made in Israel.  

Another Favorite Māori Word

I forgot one of my favorite Māori words.  

Mātakitaki.

It might be because it's one I have less confidence in.  Not that I have a ton of confidence in the words I listed yesterday.

I had to look up mātakitaki to make sure I knew how to spell it right.

And it turns out, I didn't.

I didn't realize there was a macron.

Now...hopefully I shall always remember that it does.

Mātakitaki as a verb means to watch.

Some simple sentences:

Kei te mātakitaki ia.  She watches/He watches.

I mātakitaki ngā ngeru.  The cats watched.

Ka mātakitaki ngā putiputi māwhereo.  The pink flowers will watch.

What will they watch?

I can't tell you in te reo Māori.  Because to clarify what nouns are doing with the verbs, you need to use either Ki or I...and I'm still confused about all that.

I'm a work in progress.

Please don't yell at me if I've made mistakes.  I'm very insecure.

But please do point out mistakes if in a kindly kaiako kind of way.  

I Watched a Bit of the National Book Awards

Every morning, I use random.org to pick a CSPAN video to watch.  (well, really mostly just listen to)

I don't force myself to watch the whole video.  I can watch as little or as much as I want.

Today I ended up with the National Book Awards ceremony.  

This is actually the second time I landed on this video.  

Because I had read about some antisemitism issues with the National Book Awards, the first time Random.org chose it for me, I could stomach listening to only a little bit.  

I moved the curser of the video somewhat randomly and ended up listening to the youth book awards.

A Syrian woman won and said many things in support of the Muslim experience; talked about Islamaphobia, and declared Free Palestine.

She and I are not on the same team in terms of the Middle East war.  I don't like what she said.  But I believe she has every right to say it.  I support people using their platforms to speak about the issues important to them.

What I wondered, though, is whether that same stage will ever be filled by a Jew and/or Israeli who has written a book about the suffering that occurred on October 7 or what Jewish students have endured on campuses and classrooms.  

Will books like that ever be even nominated?

Will they even be published...I mean by mainstream publishers?  Or will publishers, agents, editors, etc. fear the backlash too much?  Will they fear accusations of Islamaphobia?

On that note, if anyone does know of books being written or published about the Jewish/Israeli/Zionist lived experience regarding October 7 and the time following, please comment below.  I will (probably) add them to my to-read list.

My Favorite Māori Words

 A list of some of my favorite Māori words:

1. Waiporoporo-Purple

2. Pukapuka-Book

3. Tuhitui-Write

4. Waiata-Sing 

5. Putiputi-Flower

Blogging Changes

Besides writing tons of short posts instead of no posts or very long posts...I plan to make other changes.

A) I'm going to be writing some posts on my phone...which is part of the reason for B and C.

B) I think I'm going to stop using blue font for quotes. I've outgrown that. And I think it's going to be hard to do via my phone.

C) I'm going to do less linking.  Refer to A. Also: From what I've seen on Statcounter for the last 16 years, people rarely click on links. I think in most cases, if someone is interested in something, they can simply Google or go to the preferred app on their phone.  For example, if someone is interested in learning more about Liz Cheney's book, they can easily Google or search for it on Amazon, Goodreads, etc.  

There may be more or less linking depending on my mood, what the material is, if I'm on my phone or laptop, etc.  

I saw a Video Featuring Tom Cotton

This morning, the top post on my Instagram feed had a video of two Pro-Palestinian women having a confrontation with Tom Cotton.

The women were politely trying to convince him not to support a bill regarding nonprofit organizations. And he was less-eloquently telling them that their organizations are antisemitic. 

If I was a non-biased person judging the confrontation on performance alone, I would pick the pro-Palestinian women as the winners.

But I’m very much NOT unbiased. 

 I’m biased in multiple ways.  

I’m not on the so-called pro-Palestine side, because I believe they are pro-Hamas, anti-Israel, and supportive of terrorism.

Yet I also have prejudices against Tom Cotton.  I knew he was Republican and that left-wing people are supposed to hate him. But left-wing people have also been pushed to hate Israel.  So….

Since I’m reading Liz Cheney’s book, I currently have it strongly in my mind that A) Some Republicans are very courageous defenders of Democracy and other lovely things B) Some Republicans have sold their soul to Trump.

I Googled Tom Cotton and Jan 6 and quickly got the sense that he was on team sold-soul-to-Trump. He was not on my team. 

And neither was the Instagramer propping Tom Cotton up as a hero to Jews.  

I unfollowed the account and also looked at the gushing comments to see if I was following any of them.  

I was glad to see I was not.

And THIS is what it’s like to be a woke/progressive Jewish Zionist post October 7.

I tend to do a lot of following, unfollowing… re-following, re-unfollowing.

I am following too many people, though. I want to have a smaller number made up of people who are against both Islamic terrorists AND white-supremacist terrorists.  

I want to follow more people that view both October 7 2023 and January 6 2021 as very bad days rather than inspiring, wonderful, or justified.  

As a Jew….

 One of the shows I’m currently watching is St Elsewhere.

So far, my favorite thing about watching the show is seeing all the guest stars.

For example, the boy needing leg surgery looked familiar.  I looked him up on IMdb and saw he was Jeremy Licht.  I scrolled down to see what I know him from.  

It turns out he played the infamous, wishful Anthony in the Twilight Zone movie.

The episode I’m watching today features David Packer who played Daniel Bernstein in the V miniseries. 

I think if social media had been a thing back in the (1980’s) V universe, Daniel would have started all his posts defending the planned genocide against humans with: As an Earthling….

Different Kinds of allies to Jews

This is something I've thought about before, but after listening to a podcast with Jonah Platt and Van Jones, I was inspired to think about it to an extra degree.

It's that...

I do appreciate white, right-wing people who support Israel. But I can't give them a lot of admiration.  Being pro-Israel is very popular in their groups, so it shouldn't take a lot of courage for them to express pro-Israel sentiments.  An exception might be if they're in the artistic community.  But if that's the case, they're probably already used to going against the tide.  I'm guessing they've already built up some tough layers of skin.  

I appreciate people who standing with Israel.  But my admiration goes to the people who are part of communities where the more popular thing is hating Zionists;  

Van Jones scoffed at Jews who whine that Black people should stand for Jews, because Jews protested for George Floyd.  He talked about how it had been popular to stand with George Floyd. There was no threat of being ostracized.  In fact, it was the cool thing to do.  In contrast, Black people are taking a big social risk/sacrifice by standing up for Jews.

I think Van Jones made a very good point, and I hope it will stop some Jews from whining about that.  

But, I think it only applied to those of us Jews on the left.

Being for BLM wasn't popular on the right.  So if a right-wing Jew did speak up against the killing of George Floyd and/or other victims of police brutality, they would have likely faced a lot of backlash.

Thinking about this has made me feel a little bit more generous towards people who have not spoken up against antisemitism. For some people, depending on which communities they belong to, simply not speaking up AGAINST Israel and Zionism, is an act of courage.  

And yes.  I very, very, very grudgingly admire the people who are antisemitic if they belong to communities where that sentiment is seen as unacceptable. But, of course, I surely don’t appreciate their hate.  

Countries

My heart is split between countries.  Mostly four.

The United States

Israel

New Zealand

Australia.

So...today...for example.

I listened to some of Liz Cheney's very patriotic book about the January 6 horror.

I spent time in our family room where our fireplace mantle is (almost) entirely Australia-themed.  

For my birthday, Tim bought be a whole set of Bluey stuffed animals.  I put those up there and added other Aussie stuff we own—a touristy didgeridoo, Dorothy the Dinosaur, Henry the Octopus, Wags the Dog, a book about Australian Prime Ministers, and a Sydney Swans hat.  

(Okay, and we also have the boxes with our cats ashes, because I felt wrong moving them. But besides that, everything else is very Australian)

I listened to te reo Māori music in the morning and spent a lot of time working with a wonderful new Māori app.  I mean it's new to me. I'm not sure how old it is to the universe.  

As for Israel, I listened to podcasts about Israel and antisemitism while doing garden work and housework.

I know this would be a better post if I actually listed the app and the podcasts.  But it's all on my phone and my phone is charging while I write this post on my laptop.

Sorry.  

If anyone feels the need for more specific info, comment below, and I can be more specific.  I mean as long as you do it soon.  In a few months.  Or weeks.  I won't have any idea what app or podcasts I was referring to.  

ETA 12/5/2024-I realized later I accidentally lied.  Our Fireplace mantle also has two pieces of very lovely antique dishware that my sister-in-law gave to us.

Dear M (Part 2)

Dear M,

Do you hate Israel?

Do you believe Israel shouldn't exist?

Or are you just against the war?

You might just be against the war and believe Israel should exist.  But if this is true, you should have posted something about October 7.  You should have posted something about the murders, the rapes, the kidnappings.  

Because that's the kind of persona you presented to the world.  A humanitarian.  A woman with compassion for people of all colors.  For mothers. For children.

I saw you as the type of person who would watch the news stories of October 7 and sob. And go to vigils.  And go to marches.  And speak out.

And yes, I would have expected you to turn around a few weeks later to cry for a ceasefire and to cry for Palestinians.  

A feminist, humanitarian, without skin in the game would cry for all and fight for all.  But you are not that.  At least not to me.

To me, you are just an antisemitic wearing the mask of a humanitarian.  

Dear M

Dear M,

I often wish I hadn't unfollowed you on Instagram.

In my better-angels moments (which are rare when thinking of you) the reason for my regret would be in hopes that we could have a dialogue about Israel.  Maybe I would make you less antisemitic and less stupid and you would make me more intuned with the Palestinian struggle and less stupid.

More often, though, I just want to see your feed...to see how often you tokenize antisemitic Jews.

And I want to see if what I remember is true.  Or did I just make it up inside my head.

Did you really post about bread on October 7?  

Or maybe it was the first thing you posted post October 7.

Many Short Ones Maybe

I've decided to return to blogging.

But instead of writing super long posts, I'm going to try and write many, many, many small posts.

Maybe like thirty a day.

If you by chance have me on some kind of email feed, I highly suggest you cancel.

Shit.  Especially if you get loud notifications for your email.

Unless you're trying to look busy and popular.

But I don't think that trick is going to work on most people.  They'll know you're just getting spam.   

 

Dear Republican Zionists

 Dear Republican Zionists,

You might not believe in systemic racism, but are you willing to agree that there is SOME racism in the criminal justice system?  Can you agree that, at the very least, there are some bad apples...some racist cops and some racist judges?

Whether you believe there IS systemic racism in America's criminal justice system or whether you accept there are at least two racist police officers out there, I very much doubt you would align yourself with left-wing people who say ACAB (all cops are bad) or Defund the Police.

I am guessing you are very much against defunding the police.  

I am guessing that if you did agree there is a little or a lot of racism in the criminal justice system, meaningful reform is the way to go.  Rather than defunding or demonizing everyone in that career.  

Could you perhaps be willing to take that same mindset and apply it to DEI and other such diversity initiatives?  I think it would be much more helpful to the Jewish community, and other human communities, if we wake people up to the antisemitism that unfortunately dwells in DEI and work towards reform.  

Not Special Interests

Note: I wrote about this a bit in an old post via some edited-to-add stuff.  I doubt anyone has seen it.  But just in case someone has and then they read this. I don't want them to mistakingly believe they're having deja vu.

I have decided that not all of my so-called special interests are actually special interests.  I came to this realization after developing my first actual post-Australia special interest. .  

I have decided that the not-special interests are either

a) Stressful Interests

b) Hobbies

c) Passing interests

Israel is an example of a stressful interest for me.  I haven't been obsessively learning about Israel, because it brings me joy and comfort.  It's about seeking validation, ammunition for debates, understanding, etc.  

Other examples for me: Autism, Neurology/seizures, Narcissism, American elections/politics, Covid, and Ant-racism.   (Pretty much most of what I wrote about on this blog after I stopped writing about Australia.  I pretty much went from writing about a special interest to writing about stressful interests...kind of sad)  

Hobbies are things that I very much enjoy doing, but they're different from special interests, because I don't have an interest in obsessively learning about them.

Currently these for me are: Playing The Simpsons: Tapped Out, Feeding our backyard wildlife, and Taking care of our backyard plants.  I'm VERY flora and fauna lately.

Passing Interests are things that I'm interested in temporarily as they're happening in my life.  This usually pertains to travel and TV shows.  I might be passionate about a show as I'm/we're watching it.  But soon after I'm done with the season, the interest fades, and it doesn't come back until I/we watch the next season.  

This is the same with Disney World.  I am mildly/moderately interested between visits but become much more interested when actually planning the vacation and while we're there.

Often when he are there, I imagine I'm going to keep up the level of passion, and I make plans to continue checking out the line lengths and restaurant availability through out the year.  But I soon lose the motivation to do that.  

We have a Disney trip coming up in a few months.  To be honest, the travel anxiety is overshadowing the passing-interest feelings at this point.  But I did have fun making the reservation on the DVC website.

My last passing-interest was probably The Walking Dead, because we finally got around to watching season ten and eleven; then watched three of the spin offs (Daryl Dixon, The Ones Who Live, and Dead City)

So....whether you're autistic or not.  If you have special interests/obsessions/passions, does any of this resonate with you?   What have been your special interests, hobbies, stressful interests, and passing interests?

My New Special Interest

I have a new special interest.

I've come to realize this is the first special interest I've had post Australia; and all the other things in-between that I believed were special interests were actually NOT special interests (see next post)

I'm not sure how to name it actually.

Technically we could say it's New Zealand.  But I don't want to, because it's very much not like my Australia obsession.

It's very different.

With Australia, it felt spiritual (and I still very often believe it is/was).  And I was obsessed with all of it—the land, the map of it, the history, the government, the people, the animals, etc.  I wanted to live there.  And "want" seems like an insufficient word for how I was feeling.  

With New Zealand, it's mostly the music and the language...and the Taika Waititi/Jemaine Clement filmmaking ventures.

It's kind of jumped around.

It started with us watching Legion and Tim and I both thinking that Jemaine Clement looked familar.  We IMDb'd and I saw/realized he was the singer of one of my favorite songs ("Shiny"); had major involvement in What We Do in the Shadows, and was part of Flight of the Conchords.  

We decided we should next watch Flight of the Conchords.  It was something we had both vaguely heard about though the years and had an ongoing sort of interest in watching it....someday.  Or at least that's how I felt about it. 

I had a very normal level of liking for the show during the first season and maybe for most of the second.  Then at some moment, somehow, I went from liking to obsessively loving.

After watching Flight of the Conchords, I had us rewatching What We Do in the Shadows, because A) Didn't realize Jemaine Clement was one of the stars since I hadn't been too aware of his existence prior to watching Legion  B) I couldn't remember what actually happened in the movie.

Then I had us re-watching the episodes of the TV show that had cameos of Taika Waititi and Jemaine Clement.

We next watched Our Flag Means Death.  Or maybe we watched that before What We Do in the Shadows?  I'm not entirely sure.

I loved  OFMD. I think it's the most romantic show I've seen in a long time.  I don't often have intense shipping-feelings these days. But with that, I did.  

Through doing decent IMDb research, I learned about the existence of Wellington Paranormal.  I find it odd that as people who watch and love What We Do in the Shadows, we hadn't realized the show existed.  Is this mostly about our ignorance? Not enough marketing?  Or just the over-abundance of content out there?

Anyway, we watched that too and very much enjoyed it.  

Meanwhile and after, I started diving into the music side of things. And with that, one thing kept leading to another thing and then another thing.

For example, through reading a bit about Brett McKenzie, I learned about the Wellington International Ukulele Orchestra and started listening to their music on Spotify. Also I listened to the Flight of the Conchords charity song, "Feel Inside (And Stuff Like that)".   Both of these things led me to learning about Brooke Fraser.  

I listened to McKenzie's new not-funny album and loved that.  Plus, I was delightfully surprised to learn he wrote the Muppet songs.  I never had much of an interest in seeing The Muppets Most Wanted but now have been loving the music.

I especially love the demo songs and really want to know if Brett McKenzie is doing all the different voices on the song.  If anyone knows the answer to that, please share your knowledge with me.

I listened to Jemaine Clement sing on the Rio soundtrack and learned he played the Cockatoo.  I think MAYBE in the past I was a bit bigoted against him. Because during my very steep obsessed-with-Australia years, I vaguely remember feeling cheated that the Australian bird was played by someone not actually from Australia.  It's not that I was some kind of purist.  I watched many Aussie TV shows and movies with Kiwi actors.  But I think probably the one thing that made me feel motivated to watch Rio was the Australian character.

Also while going down the Jemaine Clement music rabbit hole,  I ended up listening to the albums from the children's TV show Kiri and Lou.

Shit. The songs from that are SO deep and relatable.  It's very cathartic but sometimes also painful.  

I learned that the writer of the songs from that is Don McGlashan.  I've listened to some of his other music.  

Okay...then on a separate branch.

Meanwhile....

I became quite obsessed with learning te reo Māori.

I think one of my signs that a special interest is going to be a major one is I have some sort of resistance to it.  This happened here.

A few months back I had bought a lifetime account to the Drops language App.  I was using it to learn French, Danish, and Hebrew.  My plan was to do little bits of French and Danish and a lot of Hebrew.

And then I had this sudden strong desire to learn te reo Māori.  I resisted, because I felt I was already learning enough languages. Plus, I think there was the whole special-interest resistance thing that I mentioned above.  (Also I had worries about cultural appropriation which I think was actually racist and ignorant of me...I might go into that in a future post)

I gave in a little and made a rule.  Along with the music people mentioned above, I had also added a few Māori songs to my Spotify playlist.  My rule was that if Spotify Shuffle chose to play a Māori song for me; then I could do a te reo Māori session on Drops.  

I soon dropped that rule and added te reo Māori to my list of daily languages.  And it soon went from: I will do one session a day to: I will try to do many many sessions a day; plus listen to lots of music; plus watch learning videos on YouTube, and download other te reo Māori apps.

I also ended up adding another language to my daily sessions.  Because at some point, Tim asked if Hawaiian was similar to te reo Māori.  I decided the best way to figure that out is to start learning Hawaiian as well.  

In awhile, I'm going to temporarily drop French or Danish and start learning Samoan too. Because I'd like to see the similarities and differences there as well.  

This post has taken much up much more space and time than I wanted.  But in the future, I might do a post listing the apps and YouTube channels I've been using.  It will mostly be about the channels, because although I have downloaded four or five apps, I'm only using one for now.  (I mean besides Drops).  

If you are a person who, like me, has no Māori background and isn't in or from New Zealand, but you're learning te reo Māori, I'd love to hear from you.  And if that doesn't apply to you, I'd still love to hear from you.  IF you're not a bot advertising something.  If you're a lonely bot just wanting to talk...I'm here for that.

I still have more to say, although this is getting long. Sorry.

I probably don't want to go to New Zealand.  Ironically, Tim brought up the idea a few weeks before we watched Flight of the Conchords.  He told me Jack had mentioned going. I probably said something like, I hope you guys have fun.  Meaning I shall stay happily back at home.

My OCD has gotten worse through the years.  That along with my fear of vomiting and general travel anxiety has made long-long-haul traveling a no for me.

I had told Tim and Jack that they're going to have to do the via-west-coast international traveling without me, including Oceania, East Asia, and South East Asia.

I feel Europe is the farthest I can manage.  And even with that, I made things difficult. I managed to get to Copenhagen but had us spending a night in Boston and stopping in Iceland.

If time was not an issue, I would have us spend time in California; time in Hawaii, and then fly to New Zealand.  But I would feel weird about not going to Australia.  I would feel like I'm committing a huge, huge awful betrayal of my past self.

I guess if time was very much not an issue, we could do this super long trip where we spend time in California, Hawaii, New Zealand, and Australia.  I'd also maybe add in various South Pacific Islands.  

For now, though, we're talking about using our DVC points to go to Hawaii.  

So though I can't point to a manu in Aotearoa, I can do so in Hawaii.

I also don't want the anxiety and pressure of trying out my teo reo Māori abilities on actual people.  During some of my Instagram Zionism adventures, I ended up talking to a Māori Zionist.  I was about to type Kia Ora to him and suddenly started to panic...worrying that I didn't know how to spell it right.  Even though I've seen it written out a zillion times.  

So I think I'm just going to go through life using the language to talk to apps and...mostly just to myself.

I talk to myself all the time. It's lovely doing it in a second language.  

The last thing I want to talk about is that I at first thought it was very funny that I ended up becoming obsessed with New Zealand. 

There has actually been worse bigotry than the Rio thing.  For example, there was a brief time that I had this intense but sadly short term friendship with a woman in Australia. Though I thought she was wonderful and imagined I loved her (in a platonic way), I was a bit disappointed that she was actually from New Zealand and not only that, loved her home country much more than Australia.  (It's not why our friendship faded away, though)

I also found it quite hilarious that I jumped from one Oceania country to another. Though if it had been a direct jump, it would have been much less funny.  It would have felt more like an extension rather than the universe playing a joke.  

It's probably much less funny to other people.

Anyway, now...it also brings me comfort and joy, because there are a lot of connections between Australia and New Zealand, including with music and TV/film.   

I've often very much missed being obsessed with Australia. And New Zealand is helping to reconnect me.  

Though besides the NZ path, I also frequently reconnect with Australia via Neighbours...which I watch religiously.  And I very much enjoy listening to the Weird Crap in Australia podcast.

Speaking of podcasts, I also listen to The Wellington Paranormal Podcast.  Which shit...gives more to ramble about.  

Going back to the traveling issue....

I did have a tiny bit of me opening up to the idea of traveling to New Zealand...maybe with the help of lots of therapy and meds.

But today I was listening to the WP podcast and Mike Minogue told a terrifying story of getting food poisoning in Shanghai and vomiting copiously on the airplane. Vomit on airplanes is one of my biggest fears in life. And it's the main reason I don't want to do long flights. I want to avoid using airplane bathrooms, because I'm afraid there's going to be vomit cooties in there.  

Okay if that wasn't bad enough...I'm reading Jannette McCurdy's beautiful, amazing, wonderful book.  And today I read the chapter with her doing bulimia on the airplane.  I think it was fourteen times?

I feel that all this today is the universe telling me my ass doesn't belong on an airplane heading to New Zealand.