Dear Actor Who Hates Zionists

Dear Actor Who Hates Zionists,

I hate you back.

Tradition has it that I'm to say you're untalented and that I never liked your work.

But that's not true.

I think you're very talented, and I used to love your work.

You have made me laugh.

You've brought joy to my life.

I even managed to laugh a little, watching you, after I already knew how much you hated people like me.  

But mostly I just felt....

Well, I felt like most people feel when they know someone hates them.  

I'm a bit delusional at times, and I've had this fantasy that you meet me and suddenly think, She's so nice! Maybe I don't hate Zionists after all!

But that's very far-fetched.  Because A) we live in different worlds.  The chance of us meeting is like one in a zillion. B) I'm very much lacking charm and adorability.  If we did meet, you'd probably come away hating Zionists even more.

Anyway....

I'm going to end this with a polite lie. It might be partially the truth.  I'm not sure.

I wish you well in your career and life. Good-bye.  

Is Neighbours My Crystal Ball?

On Saturday, there was a knock at the door.

Tim answered it and then told me, We need to get out of the house now!

There was a gas leak next door.

It was exciting in that bond-with-your-neighbors-you-hardly-know way.

It was scary, because our cats were still in the house.

I mean we attempted to grab one and put him in the carrier but understood quickly it was a loss cause and went with hoping-for-the-best.

The best happened.

All was resolved in about twenty minutes.

What I heard is that someone hit the gas meter and then drove off.

This happened on Neighbours recently! 

Okay but not only that.  A day or two before, Tim had been telling me about a work related real estate drama. After he finished venting, I had started watching an episode of Neighbours and Toadie (Ryan Moloney) got a text with a very similar real estate drama.  

I think I should start seeing every storyline on Neighbours as a warning.

A Message For the Christmas Season

Dear People Who Celebrate Christmas:

If the only way you can feel comfortable celebrating Christmas this year is believing and saying that Jesus was a Palestinian....

You are antisemitic AF.

Hope your eggnog tastes rotten.

Hope your Christmas lights get tangled.

Hope the roast gives you gas.

Hope Santa breaks the shingles on your roof.

Questions I Have About Ōpaki

I'm really loving Ōpaki.  Though I'm trying to watch it slowly, because a part of me feels I should wait and watch it when I can understand more.

I'm trying to balance watching the show with doing other sorts of te reo learning.

Though another part of me wonders if watching the show while struggling to understand IS the best way to learn. 

Well...maybe I'm doing the right thing, then.  If it's a bad idea to watch the show at this point, I'm not watching a lot of it.  If it's a good idea to watch the show, that's cool, because I'm doing that.

Anyway...

What I really wanted to talk about is things I wonder about the show regarding how much is real and how much is staged.

The show's premise is three people come to stay at this house with the host Pānia Papa.  

Each group stays for....I think three to four episodes?  I'm currently with the second group.

So far, it's started with the three people hanging out in the kitchen where they talk about where they're from.

Then two of them go into a bedroom where they chat the best they can in te reo Māori and kind of quiz each other and/or compare vocabulary.

While this is happening, Pānia Papa talks to the third person in the laundry room.  After a bit of chatting, they meet up with the other two in the bedroom.

I'm rambling.

I probably don't need to describe the whole set up.

What I'm struggling to get at is my curiosity about....

A) Is this a real house or a set?

B) Are the guests truly sleeping over?  There's conversation about how well the guests slept. Is that just language practice, or a (somewhat) real conversation?

C) If two of the guests are actually sleeping in the room that's shown, how is the filming done?  Is there a camera person in with them?  Or is a camera placed somewhere?  If so, is the camera on all the time and then they edit out the private stuff like sleeping, snoring, farting, etc?

Can you tell I don't watch a lot of reality TV?

I guess one of the main things I'm wondering is if this is an overnight educational experience mostly for the benefit of the guests, and they tape portions of the show to expand the benefits to others.

Or is it mostly a staged production with the main purpose of educating viewers? 

So...for example.  They will play a game to practice te reo Māori; then as Pānia Papa says some closing remarks, the group will continue to play the game.  Is this just for show?  Or do they actually continue once the camera stops rolling.

Both Sides Now

A song I have found cathartic lately is "Both Sides Now" by Jodie Mitchell.

I've kind of taken liberty with the lyrics to fit my situation and feelings...in a way that Mitchell probably didn't intend.

For me, the clouds are various media outlets/entities. 

Before the aftermath of October 7, these entities were "angel hair" and "ice-Cream castles in the air".

They brought me feelings of comfort, vindication, and validation.

They made me feel less alone.

At times, they felt like family.

In a way, they were my moral compass.

And now, too many of them have become "Rain and snow on...."

Well, not everyone.

But Jews.

Israel.

Anyone who supports Israel.  

***

Reading the lyrics...

Two parts really get to me:

A) It's cloud illusions I recall

I really don't know clouds at all

Because I don't know what to think of the clouds.  Are they mostly good and unfortunately infected with a bit of antisemitism.  Or has antisemitism been a major part of their substance all along?

B) Oh, but now old friends, they're acting strange

And they shake their heads and they tell me that I've changed

Well, something's lost but something's gained

In living every day

Well...minus the part about people telling me I've changed. No one has done that.

My life is full of rejection...both real and perceived.

It's hard for me to know for sure what's the usual rejection and what's antisemitism.

***

There's a part of me that's telling me that I'm being hypersensitive, and I shouldn't make assumptions.  And I don't know what's going on in people's lives.  Blah, blah, blah.

But with everything going on and the stuff I post on Instagram...I think maybe I actually have the right to make these assumptions and think the worse.

And I think I have fair reason to decide that I probably don't want these people in my life anymore.  If they decide to want to come back.

If they've been a bit antisemitic the past few months and then change their minds...do I want them back in my life?

If they're not antisemitic but are just oblivious or insensitive to how these times have been hard, and they haven't taken the time to reach out, do I want them back in my life?  

The answer I have to these questions right now might not be the same answer I have in a few weeks or few months.

***

My willingness to let these people back into my life (if they tried to return) are going to be determined by

A) My desire to be social (which is often low)

B) My hyper/misplaced empathy

C) My feelings of nostalgia (often high...especially when listening to music).

I might be very firm about wanting to kick someone to the curb.  Then I hear a song that reminds me of time we spent together...and suddenly my cold heart is thawed.  

***

I would like to keep my heart cold.

But just to those who deserve it.

Not to those who don't.

Sometimes I go the route of I'm-going-to-reject-you-before-you-reject-me.  I feel bad about that.  

***

Well...it's really more along the lines of, I feel someone backing away, so...simultaneously, I back away too.

 

 

Spotify Unwrapped (Part 3)

I saw the full list of my most-listened-to-songs on Spotify.  Then it vanished. I couldn't find it.

But this morning, it popped up again.  So I took a screenshot.

This is the secondary group of songs.

The first ones were featured in the actual Unwrapped Screenshot...which I shared in part 2.  

I mentioned "All the Goodbyes in the World" in that post, because I didn't know I would have the excuse to talk about it in this post.

It's such a beautiful song.

I was going to copy and paste some of the lyrics, but I can't pick and choose.  It's all so beautiful. 

 I'm fighting back tears just looking at them.

***

"Carole Brown" is a very cute song.

Though I actually like "If you're Into It" more.

Sometimes a song gets up higher on the list because of Spotify Shuffle and not because I actually chose to listen to it more.

That being said....

With Flight of the Conchords, I tended to become obsessed with one song.  I would listen to it repeatedly; than move onto another song.

"If you're Into It" might be my favorite in the TV show.  Not only did I listen to it on Spotify a lot but also repeatedly watched it on YouTube.

 

***

"Legacy" is a very indie song.

It's sung by a friend of someone very important to me.

I'm hoping the singer has a lot of career success.

I hate seeing talented people not being seen enough.

***

"Hi Gene" is another song I mentioned in Part 2...not realizing I'd have the excuse to talk about it here.

One thing I'd add is that I listened to it several times before paying attention to the lyrics and realizing

"Hi Gene" is about "Hygiene".  And as a person with OCD-contamination style, I find it somewhat relatable.

***

"Wandering Under the Moon" is a beautiful and very positive song about the bright side of post-apocalyptic life.

***

"Hurricane" is a song very well-known in the post October 7 Zionist world.

And it's probably also known among people who follow the drama of Eurovision.

***

If October 7 hadn't happened, and we hadn't watched Legion...I think my music for 2024 would have maybe been dominated by Danish music.  

We went to Copenhagen in August 2023, and I had been trying to stay connected by reading about Denmark and listening to Danish music.

I had been very intrigued by Freetown Christiana; though we unfortunately never got around to visiting.

Through my reading and listening, I came across Lucas Graham who grew up in the neighborhood.

And that's why I started listening to "Mama Said" many times.

***

I have more links than I wanted in this post.

I really want to do less linking.

But once I put some in links, I feel obligated to put links for all.

But if I put links for all songs; then I feel there will be an expectation of this level of links in all my posts.  And I don't want that.

So I'm kind of purposely being inconsistent in this post.

Dear Friend Who Wrote Me Back….

Dear Friend Who Wrote Me Back Several Months Later:

No, I didn’t think you forgot about me.

I thought you found out I was a Zionist.

Or you made a logical guess based on statistics and concluded I was probably a Zionist.

Now that you’ve written. I’m not sure if it’s because…

A) you’re totally okay with Jews, Zionist or not.

B) You’re ignorant about the statistics and can’t imagine a progressive American Jew like me would ever be one of those evil Zionists. 

Spotify Unwrapped (Part 2)

So...that's part of my Spotify Unwrapped.

Before Jemaine Clement came into our lives via Legion, my musical goals were centered around Dan  Romer and The Beatles. 

Dan Romer was a result of my listening to the soundtrack of Station Eleven and deciding I want to listen to everything he's ever made. 

The Beatles were a result of seeing the movie Yesterday and deciding I wanted to do a deep dive of all their music.

That one didn't last.  I think mainly because I realized I actually liked the Beatles songs better when Himesh Patel is singing them.

I just realized the first and last artist on my list are connected to Himesh Patel.  

Patel was one of the stars of Station Eleven.

How cool is that?

I should mention....I didn't do a screenshot, but I'm like in the top .002% of Dan Romer's listeners.  

I can still get the screenshot if anyone out there is needing proof.

Not sure why anyone would need proof.

But...who knows.

Oh! Well....there might be a very competitive Dan Romer fan out there.  They might demand to see the

proof behind my declarations. 

***

The three artists in the middle are all from New Zealand.

Two led to three...fairly directly.

I'm not sure how I ended up finding four.  

I started listening to a lot of Māori music which may have led me to Stan Walker.

Or...I remember seeing someone using one of his songs on their Instagram post.  Though for me to notice that, I would have probably already had to have been familar with his name.

***

As for the songs....

I think it's funny that, except for Flight of the Conchords, none of the artists match the songs.

In actuality, I think I did listen to Stan Walker's song the most.  That would be "Aotearoa".  But I mostly listened to it on the Alexa Echo while showering.  And Alexa is hooked up to Tim's Spotify account rather than mine.

There were multiple days where I requested the song on repeat.

***

I was kind of surprised that my most listened to Flight of the Conchords song was "Feel Inside".  But I vaguely remember, one afternoon, having it on repeat.

Also, I think there were many days where I'd be eating feta cheese. Or thinking about eating feta cheese. I'd think of the song and then want to play the song.

***

"In Time" resulted from Coronation Street. 

I lost my link to the show when Hulu stopped carrying it. Then months later, Tim had digital credits from Amazon and offered them to me, so I could have a month of Britbox.

"In Time" played during a special episode featuring Lauren (Cait Fitton).  I liked the song; saved it, and kind of forgot about it.

Then I became re-attached to Coronation Street and was kind of a lot sad about saying goodbye. In my time of mourning, The song came on via shuffle and I then listened to it over and over and over.

I might have been crying part of the time.

(This event might have been to painful for me to remember and write about...but it's not. Because thanks to Black Friday sales, I currently have two months of Coronation Street)

***

"Something in the Water" was another song I added to my playlist and didn't give much attention to until...

We were watching The Walking Dead, and there was an episode involving poisoned water.  And the song came into my head.  I started listening to it and became slightly obsessed for a few days.

And though I mostly listened to the cover by The Wellington  International Ukulele Orchestra, I started to also listen to Brooke Fraser's original version...and other music by her.

***

"Okay" is by Five For Fighting and is about October 7—the massacres, the hostages, the antisemitism, etc.  I love the song and also love that a musician I like is so supportive.

It's wonderful to learn about an artist BECAUSE of their advocacy.

But it's extra nice to already have liked that artist.

"Superman" is one of my favorite songs.

"Carried Away" is by the Aussie singer Jae Laffer. I didn't know him by name until this year but was familar with songs from his group The Panics. 

I added some of his songs to my playlist and then forgot the who the what and the why.

Then one morning during the days we were watching Our Flag Means Death, I heard "Carried Away" and assumed I got it from the show.

It seemed to fit so well.

It took me awhile and some confirming to convince myself it was not played in the show.

Even now, I feel unsure and am tempted to re-check.

Another song that I misplaced in a show was...."Hi Gene" by Glenn Richards.

I added some of his music to my playlist after seeing Late Night with the Devil.

I guess I saw his name on IMDb and then decided to listen to a bunch of his music.

So then I thought that "Hi Gene" was played at the end of Late Night with the Devil.

But it seems that wasn't the case.

If I'm wrong about being wrong, please let me know in the comments.

***

Back to Don McGlashan, because I feel I didn't talk about him enough.  My favorite songs of his, thus far, are "All the Goodbyes in the World" and "Girl, Make Your Own Mind Up".

***

I wish there had been more Brett McKenzie on my list, because I listened to a LOT of his music. And not just Flight of the Conchords stuff.  

I'm also disappointed to not have more Māori music, because I listened to a ton. But I can understand it's absence, because I listened to such a variety of artists and a variety of songs.  I failed to consolidate enough.

I think if they had included genres on Spotify Unwrapped this year, I would have gotten something with Māori music and maybe something with Hebrew/Jewish music.

Really...all in all...I'd say that Spotify Unwrapped doesn't do a great job of representing my music experience.  Still...I'll probably still be obsessing about Spotify Unwrapped 2025.  

Spotify Unwrapped (Part 1)

I didn't want to admit it the other day, but the other thing ruining my day was the disappointment of Spotify Unwrapped.

I might anticipate Spotify Unwrapped as much as other people anticipate Halloween and/or Christmas. 

Or Sukkot? 

Eid?

I think about Spotify Unwrapped often.  Maybe every time I like a song or artist? Wondering if it/they will show up on my Unwrapped.

Anyway, I ended up disappointed.

First I was disappointed by the Unwrapped itself. But I wasn't sure why.

Second I was disappointed that on Instagram, people were making fake Unwraps as memes. The first one I saw was pro-Israel and/or anti-antisemitism.  I liked it, thinking it was clever.

But then I saw it more and more...

It started to feel less clever and more....

Mocking.

I felt it was mocking people like me...people who care so much about what's on their Spotify Unwrapped.

Do we deserve to be mocked?

Yes.

Probably.  

I later saw an articles about how people were disappointed with Spotify Unwrapped this year.  

Reading it, I realized my disappointment about the actual results had merit.

Last year, and perhaps other years, Spotify provided us with our musical genre anda musical geographical result thing.  Well, I remember the genres for at least the last two years. I only remember my geographical thing from last year.

It had been Brisbane, which is a fact now I treasure even more, because of my love for Bluey.

This year I was hoping for New Zealand...which wouldn't be an unrealistic hope.  I listened to a LOT of music from New Zealand.

Well...I was going to put some screenshots from my Spotify Unwrapped in this post. But since I'm trying to make shorter posts, I'm going to go ahead and do a sequel post.

Ōpaki

One of the new and wonderful things in my life lately is a Māori TV show called Ōpaki.  

It's one of the very few programs on the Māori TV apps that is available worldwide...vs. only in New Zealand or only in New Zealand and Australia.  

It works out, though, for me, because Ōpaki is a language-learning show, and that's what I'm wanting most out of the Māori TV app.

The show consists of three Te Reo Māori-learning guests being hosted in a house by Pānia Papa, a sports star who became a Māori language advocate and teacher.

During the show, they have simple conversations that are mostly too hard for me to understand.  Because although the three guests are beginners, they're farther along than I am.  But I do understand a little bit here and there, which makes me feel good.

Here and there, the show translates some of the vocabulary at the bottom of the screen. I feel some glory if I already knew the word.  I feel some gratitude if it's a new word.  I feel frustration and failure if it's a word I already learned and then forgot.  

Along with the conversations, they also play games and other activities to teach vocabulary.  For example, they played a game where one houseguest placed their set of objects in a certain way while instructing a second houseguest on how to place the same set of objects. Without either guest being able to see what the other was doing.

Jack and I used to play this game together when he was young.  But in English.

Anyway, the game on the show helps to teach the names of objects while also teaching direction words.

In the episode I've been watching today, there was a surprise knock on the door.

I don't know if it was a surprise for them too or just me.  Because I could understand very little of the conversation before the knock on the door.

The fun thing is, I recognized the guy at the door.  I wasn't sure if I was imagining it or not.  But soon I learned it was who I thought it was—Hēmi Kelly from the Māori Phrase a Day YouTube Channel.  

This crossover of two different avenues of my Māori-learning world brought me some extra joy.  I guess, because it kind of signified that this has become a big part of my life.  It's like...okay, I might not understand a lot of phrases.  But I do recognize some of the big characters of the Te Reo Māori Education world.  

My Bad Day Continues

Yeti threw up outside in his car carrier. That’s about as awful as stepping in cat vomit and tracking it around the kitchen.

Poor Yeti was unable to exit the cage without stepping in the vomit. So he too ended up tracking vomit around the kitchen.

I say Poor Yeti, because I think he might hate vomiting as much as me. Whenever he throws up, he jumps away from it in a certain way.  Like he’s disgusted and wants to avoid contamination.  

And when I checked him outside, he was standing as much as he could away from the vomit.

In comparison, Annie would have probably sat there playing with it or eating it.  In fact, if it had been Annie, I probably wouldn’t have realized she vomited. I would have maybe just seen the wet spot and assumed she had done some vigorous outdoor bathing.  

Tim helped me clean up the vomit.  I pretended to be a person with only a minor touch of OCD… the type of person satisfied with a one paper towel and a two wipe cleaning.  

Then when I was very sure he had left; that the car was truly gone, I cleaned the carrier some more.This involved more wipes and then wet paper towels to remove the bleach (so cats don’t later get poisoned).

I think you can know you have a major problem when people in your life know you have this problem, yet they know only the tip of the iceberg, because you hide so much.

Anyway… during the rest of the day, I’ve been trying to stay focused on the audiobook I downloaded yesterday.  I started reading it last night and liked it.

But today I kept having to replay what I heard, because I was so distracted by antisemitic celebrities and vomit trauma.  

I finally started to feel my brain was absorbing the book. 

I was on chapter four which is past the usual chapter in which I decide whether or not to commit to a book and add it to Goodreads.

I went to add it and saw I have already read the book. In 2019. This disturbs me, because the book didn’t feel even remotely familiar to me.  

I immediately returned it to the library. But now I’m wondering if I should have read it again.  Since I didn’t remember it.  

No….

The book is too connected to the bad day.  I’d rather start something new. 

Maybe.  

I sit here thinking that it’s also cold and rainy and my hands are cut up from all the handwashing I do.  But I should be glad things are not worse which makes me feel worse as I remember all the bad that will eventually probably actually happen.  Damaging storms, disease… tragedy… death…..

I Hate Australia So Much

I hate Australia.  Like any decent person on the right side of history would.  

But please don’t think I’m anti-Aussie.

I’m perfectly fine with Aussie people… as long as they don’t live in Australia or show any support of Australia.  

It is very important not to conflate Aussies with Australia.  Some of them are decent human beings and hate Australia as much as me.  

All of us who are moral human beings must refuse to give Australia or those who support Australia our business.

I refuse to watch any TV show or movie that has Australian actors.

I’m canceling Amazon Prime. How dare they platform Neighbours, the most disgusting piece of Australian propaganda out there?

I might also cancel Spotify.  Do you know how much Australian crap is on there?!

I’m never going to read any book written by an Aussie  author…UNLESS they loudly declare they hate Australia and Australians.  

I might organize protests to take place at zoos around the world… in their Australian sections.  No, I don’t hate the innocent animals.  But I very much don’t support the exploitation of animals as tourism propaganda.  No moral, decent person would visit Australia or try to trick other people into visiting!!!!!

Do you want to know something incredibly sad?

There’s an Australian cafe in our city!!! I cry every time, I think about it.  It upsets me so much.  I’m shaking, just thinking about it.  

I have no problem with Aussies owning restaurants.  But this one blatantly promotes Australia.  It has Australian food, Australian wallpaper, Australian accents…..

WTF is wrong with people?????

I see people eating in that evil cafe, and I don’t understand how they live with themselves?  Are they themselves evil?  Or just ignorant?  Neither one is excusable, IMHO.

Anyway… I really don’t like getting political. But some things go beyond politics.  Sometimes we have to have the courage to stand up against pure Evil… even if it means being canceled.   

A Bad Day So Far

I’m having a bad day so far.

First I stepped in cat vomit… and not realizing it, I tracked it around the kitchen.

This would probably be a ten minute clean-up job for most people. But since I have OCD and a vomit phobia, it took about an hour for me to deal with it. And I still feel unsettled.

Second, I learned one of my favorite actors from one of my favorite TV shows is very antisemitic.

I had seen something in passing months ago and hoped it was just a criticism of an Israeli official.

But no.

I went to this actor’s Instagram, and hating Israel seems to be his main focus in life.  Or at least his social media life. 

And then I started going down a rabbit hole of shitty despair… wondering if other people working on the show hate Jews. Or if they’re indifferent to Jews, are they perfectly cool with their coworker’s antisemitism?  

I would like to be able to believe that some of them are as unhappy as me and never wanting to work with him again. 

I imagine if an antisemitic person finds this post, they will feel a lot of glee. I can’t fault them at that. Because I felt delight seeing people, on Reddit, whine in disappointment, about certain celebrities being Zionist. 

Sunflowers

The first summer we lived in our Carrollton house, one sunflower randomly grew in our front yard.  I was very delighted.

2022

In the fall, I collected some of the seeds and planted them in the backyard.  Which often equates to me throwing seeds into the air and hoping for the best.  

We ended up with about 5-7 big sunflowers.  Some were probably from the front sunflower and others were likely from bought seeds and/or uneaten bird/squirrel food. 

 

2023

In the Spring of 2024, many, many baby sunflowers started sprouting up.  

2024

Though it's hard for me to do, I aborted quite a few of them.  

But we still ended up with a forest of sunflowers.

2024

It was beautiful but messy.

In terms of wildlife, it was wonderful.  Especially in terms of bees. 

In terms of being able to walk in our backyard...not so great.

In terms of Tim being able to move the lawnmower through the backyard to get to the front from the garage...not so great.

We got a stern letter from the HOA at one point.  I had to trim things down a bit.  Which I had planned to do anyway...as the weather got cooler.  Our HOA tends to have unpleasant timing.  

This next spring, I'm going to try to thin things out much more.  And I'm expecting a shitload of babies.

My aim is to have a small section of the yard crowded with sunflowers but have other areas where we can walk, let other things grow, etc.

As for the dead sunflowers, I've been working a lot to cut the remnants into small pieces, leaving them in the yard...rather than filling bags and bags and bags and bags of landscaping bags.  I love doing it.  It's a great thing to do while listening to audio books, podcasts, Neighbours, etc. 

Who Cares

Michael Rapaport posted an Instagram Reel this morning that seems to suggest he believes there would have been much more compassion and outrage for the hostages held by Hamas if they were Black, Puerto Rican, or white.

What?????

I’m kind of hoping I’ve misunderstood him.  

Black people and other groups have been complaining for years about what the Jews are complaining about now.

They feel

We feel 

OUR lives matter less.

I think these feelings do have merit.

But it’s not due to a worldwide consensus.

It’s about particular audiences.

On 21st century university campuses around the world… especially elite, expensive ones that lean left… I’m sure they would be much more concerned for the hostages if they were Black.  (As long as they weren’t Israeli Black people).

At Fox News Stations, they would probably be working hard to point out that there was a lot of drug use going on at the Nova Festival.  IF the hostages were Black (and not Israeli).

Both the left and the right have groups they care about more and groups they care about much less.  

Or sometimes it’s worse than not-caring.  It’s not indifference but hatred with a belief the people deserve the bad that has happened to them. 

I know what Eli Wiesel said.  And yeah.  Indifference can be very bad… but really only if bad things are happening to us. 

If I’m having a nice morning, drinking my coffee and eating my bagel…it’s not going to hurt me, at that moment, if the world is indifferent to me.  

Bethany Had No Love Handles

I’m sadly no longer watching Coronation Street full time, because Hulu stopped carrying it.  But I step back into Weatherford here and there, such as when having extra digital credits from Amazon or Cyber Monday sales makes temporarily subscribing to BritBox a good deal.  

Anyway… I’ve been catching up by watching sporadic episodes from the last few months.

One storyline has Bethany (Lucy Fallon) hospitalized with a stoma bag situation, because her discounted liposuction in Turkey went very wrong.  

Her Uncle David (Jack P Shepherd) confesses he might be partly to blame.  Bethany had mentioned to him that she was researching Liposuction for a story… and, I guess, seemed intrigued by it on a personal level.  

David had made a joke along the lines of her having extreme love handle issues.

Even though she didn’t.  And David didn't think she did. He was just trying to be funny, not realizing she had body image issues.

The drama reminded me of times that men in my family have made little jokes/comments that crushed my self-esteem.

It could be that they actually wanted to lower my self-esteem… take away some of my power to make themselves more powerful.

But it could have also been that they were totally joking and wrongly believed I had a ton of confidence about the issue and would have taken it in stride. 

I also worry that I may have jokingly-insulted people, at points in my life, believing that they had self-confidence about the issue and therefore would be amused rather than wounded.

I don’t want to preach that we should stop joking and teasing.  

Maybe we just need to be more mindful… 

Maybe clarify we’re joking… if we suspect the joke wasn’t received in the way we intended.

And....

Maybe if we tend to roast someone in most of our interactions, we need to surprise them with a compliment here and there.

Dear Singer

Dear Singer of the Song I’m Starting to Love,

Do you hate Israel?

Do you hate Jews?

I’d like to know before I listen to your song obsessively and repeatedly… and save all your other albums.

I don’t want you on my 2025 Spotify unwrapped if you’re  a Hamas fan.  

I Dare You….

 It must be that Joe Biden is playing truth or dare.

The first dare was to exit a bookstore carrying an anti-Israel book. And he’s not allowed to offer an explanation.  

The second dare was to pardon his son even though he promised not to.  

What’s next?

I suggest maybe he go with truth next time.  

Or play a different game.  

False Starts

I started to feel discouraged about getting back to blogging, because today I started 2 or 3 posts that I ended up deleting. 

I hate when I do that. It feels like I wasted time and energy for nothing.

But I’m going to work on being okay with it.

Since I’m writing shorter posts, it’s at least less time wasted.  Right? 

And maybe it’s better to start and stop sometimes rather than stopping the starting all together.  

But as I write such encouragement, I start spiraling…

What’s the point of writing when so many other people are writing?

What’s the point of writing if ChatGPT could say it better?

My argument against negative me: A lot of the other stuff you do is pointless as well.  So just… 

Keep on going.  I guess.  

It Would Hurt Less If

It would hurt less if the hate wasn’t coming so strongly from our own political team.

It would hurt less if the hate wasn’t coming from institutions we admired.  

It would hurt less if we didn’t see the hate becoming more and more socially acceptable.

It would hurt less if the hate was new rather than simmering quietly for years.  

Will They Convert?

There are a few non-Jewish Zionists who have become SO passionate about fighting antisemitism and defending Israel.  It makes me wonder if there are ones who will end up converting to Judaism.

I sort of hope so.

Or I very much hope so.

I remember learning somewhere that there's a belief that if someone wants to convert to Judaism, it's because they actually have a Jewish soul.

I looked it up yesterday.  Here's more info if anyone wants to read more about it.  

I feel it can be compared to the transgender experience.

Just as a woman may be "assigned male" at birth, a Jew may be assigned "Gentile at birth".

I don't know if I would apply the Jewish-soul thing to people who convert for marriage.

I'm arguing inside my head.

Not all people marrying Jews convert.  So if only some convert, might that be because they are the ones who have Jewish souls?  And maybe that's one of the reasons, the universe chose that particular life-partner for them.

But I think there are other factors. Some Jews might refuse to marry a non-Jew unless that person converts.  This might come from their own beliefs, or they might receive pressure from family and community.