Friday, March 6, 2015

Abortion Episode of The Secret Life of Us

I just finished watching the abortion episode of The Secret Life of Us.  I thought it was beautifully done—sensitive, raw, and tear-jerking.  I had several moments where I felt I could start sobbing.

My only grief with it is everyone acted so perfectly towards Alex (the one getting the abortion).  Her friends were so gentle and nice. They said the right things before the decision was made, after the decision was made, and after the procedure. No one pressured her to have the abortion, and no one pressured her not to have it. They didn't say anything to make her feel guilty.

Gabrielle takes Alex to the abortion clinic and waits for her there.

While she's there, Kelly changes Alex's sheets so she can have fresh clean ones when she gets home.

Evan makes a fancy pasta dish for Alex, and serves it to her in bed.  

The sperm provider of the aborted fetus comes over to visit Alex and says very supportive and kind things. He had gotten her email about the pregnancy and abortion after the fact. He doesn't check his emails often, and he was apologetic about it.

Really. Everyone was so nice!

Does that really happen to people in real life?

Because when I've dealt with stressful situations, it seems there's always someone that says something really insensitive. There's often something said that makes me feel even worse about the situation. And there's going to be someone who makes me feel neglected. Or at least I'm going to think something along the lines, They REALLY don't get it, do they?

That being said, there are probably times where I'm the one who says the stupid and hurtful thing. Or I don't do enough to show that I care.


Though the world was kind to Alex during her abortion, there was one odd thing.  When she went to the clinic, the TV there was playing a cartoon. I thought that was somewhat insensitive. Why would you show cartoons at an abortion clinic. Now it might not have been a cartoon specifically geared towards children, but still. We associate cartoons with children. It almost seemed like a mind-game...get people to think about children and consider the fact that maybe they want to keep their baby.

I don't know. I'm probably reading too much into it.

So...what about you? Have you ever been in a really stressful situation? Did you feel most of your friends and family were supportive? Did they say and do the right things? Did anyone make you feel worse? Were there people who had the right intentions, but got it very wrong?


Andrew said...

I can't ever remember being disappointed in someone in such a situation, but then I don't expect too much either and I don't expect people to always have the right words. I certainly don't.

Dina said...

I guess I do have high expectations. But I'd rather expect kindness from myself and others; than be okay with people treating each other like crap.

I won't expect people to be as wonderful as Alex's friends were to her during the abortion episode. But I will continue to WISH for people to be that wonderful. Or at least somewhat close to it.

I don't expect people to have the right words, but I expect them to have SOME words; and I hope for them to be kind ones. Not bitchy dismissive ones.