Instead of Saying it to You I'll Say it To My Blog

Edited to add 11/2022: This was written after a political debate with my right-wing, Trump-supporting parents after I said something along the lines of left people need to speak up against left-wing violence and right-wing people need to speak up against right-wing violence. My dad furiously criticized me for suggesting that the right has anything to do with white supremacists.  

I know they're asking white people like me to talk to our other white people—get them to understand racism and get them to be less racist and more anti-racist.

Sometimes I've not tried hard enough. And sometimes I've tried really hard.

Recently I tried hard.

And I'm realizing that sometimes you can talk and talk...and it's just not going to make a difference.

Some people will never change. They will always be more racist than anti-racist.

Some people will change but not at the speed we wish them too. They might change months later. Years later. Maybe decades later.  The words we spoke might finally sink in and make sense to them. Or not. Maybe they will need words different than ours to get them on the road to being anti-racist.  

But anyway....

Though I have ended the conversation (on my end) because it just felt hopeless, I still have words bubbling up inside me. So I'm going to let them out here.

1. We try to talk about racism. (Because of Amy Cooper. And George Floyd. And also your little joke about hoping a local murder is taken care of in the Chicago Police way)

You counter with black on black crime.  No. No. Of course. You think racism is a problem. But the real problem to you is black on black crime.

I do what I learned on Instagram. I counter with white on white crime.

Yeah. That doesn't seem to work.  

Oh and since black on black crime tactic isn't seeming to work in YOUR favor; it isn't changing the subject away from racism fast enough, you try pivoting further afield to the Democratic hypocrisy regarding the Me Too movement. 

2. A day later, you say the whole country was ready to listen and have a conversation about George Floyd, but the rioters are ruining all that.

But again, when we had tried to have a conversation with YOU about George Floyd, you changed the subject to black on black crime.

3. We're supposed to believe you support peaceful demonstrations. But then why did I never get the message that you supported the athletes kneeling during the national anthem?  You do love to share your political views. So why was there never an email applauding Colin Kaepernick and condemning Trump for his reaction to Kaepernick? 

I mean kneeling quietly during a patriotic song?  How can you get any more peaceful than that? There's no vulgar gestures. No loud voices. No violence. No damage to property. No blocking traffic. 

4. You say protest is okay but violence is not. Really?

Oh. You also say I shouldn't bring anti-semitism and the Holocaust into the conversation. But this is my blog, and I'll do what I want.

So...if violence is not the right way to respond to violence......Because I don't know. Kneeling on someone's neck is pretty fucking violent. Right?  But Black people are not supposed to respond to that violence with their own violence.

If we're going to stand by that philosophy; then how about this?

When the Palestinians throw rocks at the Israeli soldiers or dig tunnels in pursuit of hurting Israeli citizens, why do the Israeli soldiers fight back?  Why don't THEY turn the other cheek?

Is it okay for them to fight back, because they're Jewish?

Is that what it means for Jews to be the chosen people?  That they are allowed to fight back against harm, but others are not?

5. You say that you would support.  No wait. You would LEAD a revolution if it were Nazis that were governing us. A revolution that would involve destruction of Nazi property and the killing of Nazis. 

Okay.

And would you still lead that revolution if Jews aren't the main target? What if Muslims are the target? What if it's Hispanic people? Black people? Gay people? 

Would you still want to be the leader of the revolution?  

Would you at least join the revolution? 

Or would you be one of the people speaking out against the revolution?

Let's just be traditional and say the Nazis have once again chosen Jews as their main target.  When would you start your revolution?  

After a million Jews are murdered? A thousand? A hundred? A handful? 

When would it start to matter to you—matter enough that you'd be willing to start your violent and destructive revolution?

6. You blame the riots on Antifa. You ignore the fact that there's no proof it's Antifa or that there's also speculation of white-supremacist agitators.  

I see a video of a Black protester asking the violent and destructive people to stop.

I say that it's good when the left people in power speak out against violent people on the left. And the same for the right.

I expect you to agree with me.

We disagree on so much.

But with this, I imagine you will agree.

Instead you criticize me for implying that conservatives are connected to white supremacy and Neo Nazis.

It boggles my mind that you don't see any connection between conservatives and white supremacy and Neo Nazis.  

That while you felt moderate Muslims needed to speak out against Muslim terrorists, you don't feel that moderate conservatives need to speak out against conservative-extremists.

And where was your criticism of me connecting the left with violent people on the left?

If we're being logical and fair.....

If conservatives can't be connected to white supremacy and Neo-nazis, can't we also say that Muslims have absolutely no connection to Muslim terrorists and that those of us on the left have absolutely no connection to violent far-left anarchists?

7. You say I have insulted you by pointing out that you speak out more against Antifa than the KKK. 

But am I not supposed to be insulted by you inferring that the left is responsible for left violent extremism while the right is NOT responsible for right violent extremism?  Because you do know that I'm on the left, right?  

Why is there such a double standard in your head?

Where and when were you radicalized????????????????????

So.....

Anyway.....

I'm thinking about talking to people about racism.

And in order for people to be on the road to anti-racism, I think they need three things. A) empathy B) logic C) fairness D) openness towards analogies. 

Here's a pretend conversation.

ME: Black lives matter.

PRETEND PERSON: All lives matter.

ME: Yes, but that's not the point.

PRETEND PERSON: I think all lives matter. You don't?  Why do you think black people's lives matter and others don't.

ME: See...Well, pretend we're back in the late 1930's. The Nazis are killing Jews. Then some Jews start protesting with slogans and some gentiles join in. They say "Jewish Lives Matter."  Would you be offended by that?

PRETEND PERSON: Oh!!!!! Okay. Now I see where you're coming from.

Because though Mrs. Pretend Person is Jewish, she doesn't see Jews as being extraordinarily sacred or exceptional. So though she might not be fully sympathetic and understanding of what Black people endure, by using what she has learned from being Jewish and facing antisemitism, she can apply it to other abused and marginalized people.

These are the type of people that can be reached.  

I was one of those people.

I am STILL one of those people. Because if you're white, you never reach the end of the path when it comes to being anti-racist. You have to keep walking. Indefinitely.  

But for those who have a huge boulder blocking their path?

A friend told me that you just need to pray for understanding.

I don't believe in God, but I do think he's right.

Sometimes you just have to stop trying to have the conversations and just wish, pray, hope, etc....that the boulder slides away.  

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What would our world be like if we

knew for sure there 

was life after death, and 

we could easily talk to our 

dearly-departed on the Internet?

The Dead are Online a novel by Dina Roberts