In a recent post, I said a lot of bad things about Geoff (Ian Bartholomew) from Coronation Street.
One of the things I wrote is:
AND he changes the narrative about the box. It's no longer an accident. It was a trick. Why did he do this trick? It's in his nature. He's a magician. In other words, I can't help myself. It's your duty to accept me the way I am.
Then yesterday, I was watching the 10,000th episode special. This one had Sally (Sally Dynevor) and Tim (Joe Duttine) reconciling.
Tim achieves this with a heartfelt video chat. He once again tells Sally how important she is to him. He talks about how he messed up but that he didn't realize he was messing up. He also says he's going to mess up again, because that's who he is.
I hate Geoff.
I like Tim a lot. I think he's a great guy.
Now I'm wondering, what's the difference between what the two men have said?
Oh, and I should note that Tim is actually Geoff's son. I could assume then that Tim, despite being not-so-toxic, picked up some dirty tricks from his father.
But I don't think so.
Or I don't FEEL so.
When Tim said his thing, it sounded very sweet.
When Geoff said his, it sounded very sinister.
Could it just be about character and delivery? We know Geoff is one of the bad guys and that Tim is a good guy.
Yeah. Maybe it's just about context?
It could also be about the actual deed. Geoff was excusing himself for locking his claustrophobic wife into a small box. Tim's misdeed was not understanding that weddings taking place in Vegas are actually true marriages.
There's a big difference between cruelty and ignorance.
By the way, I'm not writing this post to give answers.
I'm more writing it to ask questions...kind of wrap my head around things.
But now, I think I'm getting the answers.
I would say the difference between lovely, sweet (or at least tolerable) self-deprecation and manipulative self-deprecation lies mostly in the deed.
There's a difference between, I'm horrible at remembering names and I like to terrify the young children of my friends; give them nightmares.
Also, with manipulative self-deprecation, there's often twisting and exaggeration; attempts to bring on a pity party.
You tell someone they hurt your feelings with what they said. They respond with, I can never say anything right, can I? I'm totally worthless. No wonder you hate me so much.
Then instead of RECEIVING an apology, the person with the original grievance is GIVING out comfort to the person who has hurt them.
One of the things I wrote is:
AND he changes the narrative about the box. It's no longer an accident. It was a trick. Why did he do this trick? It's in his nature. He's a magician. In other words, I can't help myself. It's your duty to accept me the way I am.
Then yesterday, I was watching the 10,000th episode special. This one had Sally (Sally Dynevor) and Tim (Joe Duttine) reconciling.
Tim achieves this with a heartfelt video chat. He once again tells Sally how important she is to him. He talks about how he messed up but that he didn't realize he was messing up. He also says he's going to mess up again, because that's who he is.
I hate Geoff.
I like Tim a lot. I think he's a great guy.
Now I'm wondering, what's the difference between what the two men have said?
Oh, and I should note that Tim is actually Geoff's son. I could assume then that Tim, despite being not-so-toxic, picked up some dirty tricks from his father.
But I don't think so.
Or I don't FEEL so.
When Tim said his thing, it sounded very sweet.
When Geoff said his, it sounded very sinister.
Could it just be about character and delivery? We know Geoff is one of the bad guys and that Tim is a good guy.
Yeah. Maybe it's just about context?
It could also be about the actual deed. Geoff was excusing himself for locking his claustrophobic wife into a small box. Tim's misdeed was not understanding that weddings taking place in Vegas are actually true marriages.
There's a big difference between cruelty and ignorance.
By the way, I'm not writing this post to give answers.
I'm more writing it to ask questions...kind of wrap my head around things.
But now, I think I'm getting the answers.
I would say the difference between lovely, sweet (or at least tolerable) self-deprecation and manipulative self-deprecation lies mostly in the deed.
There's a difference between, I'm horrible at remembering names and I like to terrify the young children of my friends; give them nightmares.
Also, with manipulative self-deprecation, there's often twisting and exaggeration; attempts to bring on a pity party.
You tell someone they hurt your feelings with what they said. They respond with, I can never say anything right, can I? I'm totally worthless. No wonder you hate me so much.
Then instead of RECEIVING an apology, the person with the original grievance is GIVING out comfort to the person who has hurt them.
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