Triggered!

Being triggered means something different to everyone.

For me, it's having my hands shake so much that feeding the cats becomes quite difficult.  

Now I'm thinking it's interesting that the last two times I've been very triggered, the immediate task after the triggering event was feeding the cats.

But anyway....

I won't blame all my shaking on my being triggered.

I've been diagnosed with an essential tremor. So, I do often have bits of shaking at random times.  

But being stressed, afraid, angry, or cold definitely exacerbates the tremor.    

The simple act of responding to an email from a family member can be very triggering for me. I start to feel very cold, I start shaking, and I find it very hard to stop.  

One time I was writing a blog post about family issues. I was so triggered that my STOMACH was shaking!!  

And when we went for a zip-line adventure on a family cruise, I was so terrified...My brother-in-law pointed out that my leg was shaking. Or maybe it was my butt. Probably my butt AND my leg.

Interestingly, though, while my tremor is exacerbated my stress, that doesn't seem to be at all the case for my myoclonus (jerking). With that, it seems to be almost the opposite. The more calm I am, the more myoclonus I seem to have. 

I think some people believe too strongly in the idea that brain problems cause mental health problems. And some people believe too strongly that mental health stress causes physical problems.  I think it's a balance of both. I think I have brain issues, AND I think I have mental issues due to interpersonal family problems. Combined together...

Well, sometimes it can make feeding the cats somewhat more difficult than it usually would be.

But it's not as bad as the night two months ago where I was feeding the cats and my legs literally gave out, and I collapsed onto the floor. Twice! I don't remember being stressed at the time, so I'm guessing that was more brainy/physical.

Or...it was demons.

Or a Poltergeist? 

Aliens?  

Who knows....

How would our world change if we knew for sure there was life after death, and it was easy for our dearly-departed to talk to us via the Internet?   

The Dead are Online, a novel by Dina Roberts