A Score of 32

I took the Autism Quotient test again today.  This is probably the 4th or 5th time I've taken it.

Why did I take it today?  Because I finally understood how to answer one of the questions that I had trouble answering before.  The question is: I usually concentrate more on the whole picture rather than on the small details.

I wasn't sure until today.

We went on a little day trip. I had a great time taking photos; then I realized the photos provide me with an answer. I like taking photos of small details.  I mean it's not necessarily tiny details.  But I tend to take less photos of the BIG-BIG picture and more photos of the medium-small picture.


One of the photos I took today



I'm more likely to enjoy taking a photo like the one above than taking a photo of a whole building or street.  

Anyway...so I took the test again, and I got the same score I always seem to get. 32.  I think once I may have gotten a 33 or 34.

The reason I've taken the test multiple times is because it's hard to know if I'm answering a question correctly. 

Sometimes it's a matter of not really understanding the question. Sometimes, it's about not knowing myself well enough. Sometimes it's about feeling I might have cheated a bit...lied to myself in order to come out more autistic.  Sometimes it's about deciding that it's okay to not answer a question literally.  

In a few minutes, I'm going to now take the test two more times. There are two things I want to experiment with. The first is that I want to take the test pretending that I do not have aphantasia. There are two questions related to that. But I don't know if they're looking for aphantasia with the idea that aphantasia is more prevalent in autistics. OR...are they looking for hyperphantasia? Because I think that's also a trait more common in autistic people. And I think it may fit in more with stereotypes about autism.  

After that I want to retake the test by answering certain questions literally.  

So....

The two hyperphantasia questions are: 

if I try to imagine something, I find it very easy to create a picture in my mind.

And...

When I’m reading a story, I can easily imagine what the characters might look like. 

Maybe I'll actually do it twice.

With one I'll say definitely agree...so I'll pretend to have hyperphantasia; then the next I'll do slightly agree, pretending I have normal/average visualization skills.

Okay. I actually got a 29 doing it the hyperphantasia way.  So I guess they are looking more for aphantasia than hyperphantasia.

I also got a 29 doing it the neither hyperphantasia nor aphantasia way.

(AND I guess I also accidentally changed another one of my answers between taking the test before writing this post and taking the test during)

Now for answering the questions literally....

Below are the questions that I usually don't answer literally, because I feel I understand WHAT they're trying to ask, but they're not asking me in the way I need to be asked.  If that makes any sense.....

1. Other people frequently tell me that what I’ve said is impolite, even though I think it is polite.

If other people frequently told me that, wouldn't they be the rude ones?  

But to answer the question literally: Definitely not. I am not frequently told that I'm being impolite.  

I usually answer differently based on the stern/dirty looks I sometimes get, all my failed friendships, the fact that I'm often the less preferred person....

I think the main issue with the question is that it doesn't take into account who we're spending most of our time with.  Some people might be in social circles where people worry a lot about social norms, while others spend their time with people who worry less about that sort of thing.  

It also depends on what we see as being impolite.   

For me, if someone said to someone with cancer,  Don't worry. You're going to beat this!  I would see that as being rude. Because I'm against toxic positivity.  If that person was in my life, I might sometimes (or frequently) get on their case about their toxic positivity.  But if that person spent most of their time with other people who have sort of positive attitude, they might never/rarely be told that they're being impolite.

Okay....onto the next question.

2.  I notice patterns in things all the time.

I'm not sure how someone would be able to function while noticing patterns ALL the time.  I'm also not sure what hyperbole is doing in a psychology test.

I definitely do NOT notice patterns in things all the time.

That aside, it's one of the questions I often struggle with.

I'm not sure if I notice patterns more than what's typical.

I don't think I have any special strengths in noticing math type patterns.  Nor do I think I have special talent in noticing design patterns.

I do, though, tend to notice behavior type patterns or patterns in the universe...synchronocity type stuff. I'll notice that I saw two TV shows recently with a similar storyline or theme.  I notice things like I was born on the date that JFK died while JFK Jr died on Tim's birthday, and that my sister was born on the Gandhi's birthday while her husband was born on Gandhi's death day.

I notice I have a pattern of forming relationships with people who are very self-centered in conversation and are dismissive about and disinterested in my experiences.  

I also tend to explain things with analogies...which I think is a way of seeing patterns.  

3. People often tell me that I keep going on and on about the same thing. 

I usually answer definitely agree to this question with the understanding that what the test wants to know is whether or not I have special interests.

There probably is a difference between someone with special interests who knows how to accept a change of subject vs someone who will only engage in conversation about their special interest.  But that difference might not necessarily come from a person's level of autism.  It could be that one person has had more training/discipline.  For example, my parents strongly pushed the idea that we should ask the other person questions about themselves; that we shouldn't hog the conversation.  If someone else with special interests wasn't taught that, they might be more likely to go on and on about their special interest.

Autistic or not...I think there are many people who have not been taught that they shouldn't hog the conversation or make the conversation all about them.  

The other big factor is whether or not we have people in our life who are tolerant of our special interests.  Well...and that also can be divided into people intolerant of our specific special interest and people intolerant of us having special interests in the first place.

Someone might complain about us going on and on about gardening, but if we went on and on about The Walking Dead, they'd be cool with it.  

Then there are some who think ALL special interests are pathological.  Even among those people, though...they can be divided into those who complain to us directly and those who keep their dislike secret from us.

4. I like to carefully plan any activities I participate in.

Definitely not.  I do not make careful plans when going to the bathroom. I'm somewhat spontaneous about it....after quite a bit of procrastinating.

Well...I'm done.

By being literal, I got a 28.  

It's in the lower end of the same range as the range that has 32.  The website says: scores in the 26-32 range indicate some Autistic traits (Asperger's Syndrome).

I guess over 32 means you're very autistic then.  

Well...I just played around it and got a 33.  It then says, scores in the 33-50 range indicate significant Autistic traits (Autism).  Maybe I'm wrong, then, about once getting a 33-34.  I don't remember ever seeing that I'm significantly autistic.  I think with all tests I've taken (the AQ and others)...I've gotten answers in the mild range. 

Note: I don't think my experiment was fully valid, because I didn't save the answers I used before starting this post.  And, as I said, I tend to change my mind about how to answer the questions.

I feel there should have been a three point difference between my real answers and my taking the certain questions literally...rather than a four point difference.  Because I don't think I do plan a lot of activities.

Or maybe I do?

It could be that Dina-from-a-few hours ago sees things differently than Dina-Now.

I do sometimes love planning things.  But it's more about the fun of planning than needing to have plans.  It's kind of a conflict, actually.  I sometimes love planning trips in detail.  But then when I'm on a trip, having plans often stresses me out.  Or I should say...I'm enjoy myself less. I like to just be free and not be on any time constraints.  



Read my novel: The Dead are Online 

No comments:

Post a Comment