Sunday, July 6, 2008

Feeling Down

I've been feeling a bit down the past several hours.

These are the things that bother me:

1. People who say I just want you to be happy. And what they TRULY mean is I want you to live the life that makes us most comfortable and then pretend to be happy about it.

2. People who say What's wrong? and what they really mean is Please don't tell me you're problems. It bores me to listen to them. But can you please ACT happy.

3. People who allow me to be kind to them, but treat me like crap in return. Yes, it's my fault for being a doormat. But you don't have to step on me. Walk away or around me, if you're not interested. Don't be like that man in The Giving Tree.

4. Trying to sort out all my conflicting feelings regarding my soap opera life.

5. People who dislike something just for the simple reason that I like it.

6. People who are eager for you to tell them your problems. They act like they care and understand. Then later they use that information against you. Can something like that ever be forgiven? How do you learn to trust people after that happens to you?

Here are things that keep me from being completely depressed:

1. That I finally have the best friend I've been searching for--someone that sticks with me through the good times and bad times. Someone I can talk to on a daily basis and not feel I'm bothering her.

2. People who make me laugh and who laugh at my attempts at humor.

3. Being passionate about something in which there is so much to learn. I've been obsessed with a lot of things. What's great about Australia is there is so much to learn. It's a whole damn country. I could spend decades being obsessed and learning about it, and it will probably still just be the tip of the iceberg. And sadly by that time, there likely won't be any more icebergs.

4. The hope that maybe all my inner conflict and confusion is good for my soul in the long run.

5. The hope that I'll meet new friends through writing this blog and reading other blogs. Oh. And also strengthen relationships with people I already love--such as my cousin.

6. The relief that this blog has a specific theme and is not a general "my crazy life" blog and I can keep posts like this to a minimum. But you know, every so often, I'll get tired of being the-girl-who-wished-she-was-Australian. I want to be Dina--the girl who is 90% the-girl-who-wished-she-was-Australian. But 10% other stuff too.

7. I blabbed on and on about my problems to a friend this week and she was nice enough to listen.

8. People who are supportive of my interest in Australia. They may not love it as much as me, but they're happy that I'm interested in it. They listen when I talk about it, they read my blog, and they show some enthusiasm.

9. That the Australian application I made on Facebook seems to be doing very well. No, I'm not back on Facebook. We checked via my husband's account. I'm proud that one of my little projects had some success--even though it didn't make me any money or anything.

10. I guess the best thing is my positive list is much longer than my negative list.


11 comments:

MsJamie said...

I'm sorry you have been feeling down!! Hope you are in better spirits soon. *hugs*

Anonymous said...

what a shame

Come to Aussie land to live.

Cheers,
Franklin

Dina said...

Dear Anonymous.

Is your name Chuck or Franklin? I can't quite get it straight.

Dina said...

Uh....Judd.

Just as it's hard to prank us because we have caller ID.

Websites work the same way.

Hard to believe, huh?

But I AM glad you're so supportive of us moving to "Aussie land"

Jayne said...

Take some time out to be by yourself, let others come to you and tell them straight how you feel when they betray your confidences.
Then go and Google Hnery Lawson and read some of his stories and poetry.
Try C.J Dennis too, for some good laughs

Dina said...

Jayne,

Thank you!!!

I will google right now.

Lad Litter said...

Hope you're feeling tickety-boo soon, Dina. I saw you in comments over at Mooiness. This is a fascinating blog! It reminds me a little of reading an American book (Overpaid; Oversexed; Over Here!) about GI WWII experiences in Australia: the culture clash from outside looking in.

traceyleigh said...

You know when you're ready to go back to the workforce..your perfect job? If you can't move to Australia, you need to work for the Australian Tourism Board over there and promote Australia to Americans :-) You'd do a brilliant job. My brother in law's sister works for them and is based in Los Angeles.

ps..not sure if you read my lj but I went back to Coles Bay on the weekend and even though you haven't been there yet, I feel as though it is 'our place' as it is the one place I really want to show to you..that and a lot of other places :-) Are you going to go to Victoria/Melbourne this time? We need to sort out dates/times etc one day too, so I can mark it on my calender!

xxxx
T

ps... sorry you've been feeling a bit down. Hope it won't last for you and it was good to read some of the good stuff too.

Dina said...

Tracey,

I think Coles Bay will be wonderful.

Great idea about the tourism thing....although I might get jealous and beg the Americans to take me with them.

Dina said...

lad litter,

Thank you!

Sounds like an interesting book.

You might want check out my cousin's blog too. She's from Florida and is living in Australia. Her blog talks about her experiences. It's at http://floridagirlinsydney.blogspot.com/

floridagirlinsydney said...
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