There's a part of me that does NOT want to move to Australia.
The lazy part.
I have moved so many times. I really don't want to do it again.
So, despite the fact that I'm tired of Texas and ready to move on (BECAUSE I've moved so much, I've grown to not like staying in one place too long. And we've been in Texas longer than any other place), there's a part of me that just wants to be lazy and stay put.
I don't want to pack and unpack again. I don't want to look for new doctors and dentists. I don't want to figure out new homeschooling laws.
Tim and I have both agreed that the BEST case scenario would be that one of us finds a career (probably him) where we can have the money and TIME to travel. It would be great to have a job where we have flexibility and freedom--where we can take a month or two and travel around Australia.
We could have the best of two worlds. Stay in Texas, but at the same time, LEAVE Texas.... at least for a few months out of the year.
That scenario IS possible. It could happen. But it's not the most likely thing to happen.
The worst case scenario is that we never go back to Australia again. That makes me very sad, but I don't think it would be the end of the world. I could still love Australia from far away. I'd probably be depressed though--at least most of the time. I'd also be full of regret.
I think the second best scenario (and VERY closely tied to the first) is that Tim finds a good Aussie job, I get over my laziness, and we move to Australia.
If we stay for at least four years, I can fulfill my dream of becoming an Australian citizen.
The bad, but not as bad as never scenario, is that Tim finds a crappy corporate job in Texas. It gives him enough money that we can go to Australia every 3-5 years, but we can only go for two weeks. Corporate American companies rarely give you that many weeks off.
Crap. Just writing that makes me depressed.
I really hope we can manage one of the better case scenarios.
Outside of my embarrassing laziness, I really would love to live in another country--whether it be for six months or five years. I think it would be an amazing experience--for me, for Tim, and for Jack.
I totally envy people when I hear their stories of moving to another country
My mother-in-law spent a chunk of her childhood in the UK. She loved it.
When I was a teenager, we had a woman from France stay with us. She would come to America on a business exchange program. I forgot how long she stayed, but it was for an extended period. I'm guessing she enjoyed it, because she returned and did it again.
I know of people who did high school foreign exchange programs. They loved it.
I think I would love it too. I really believe that. I know I wouldn't be happy everyday. There would be days of immense homesickness. There would be days of fear and regret. There would be days where I have a stomach virus and my butt hurts from sitting on the toilet so long.
But I think MOST days would be good days.
There's a part of me that imagines people reading this and thinking Dina is so selfish and greedy. She should be happy for what she has. There are people in the world who are starving, abused, and suffering in poverty.
There are people who wish not that they could travel to an exciting country, but that their sister would be cured of breast cancer.
In a way, I agree with these people who might think such things about me.
But I mostly disagree. I think life without dreams and hope is sad and boring.
I think we all have the right to wish and dream--no matter how far-fetched and difficult the dream might be.
And I think we have the right to pursue those dreams.
We do NOT have the right to expect support or encouragement. But I think every single one of us would appreciate it.