Sunday, June 20, 2010

Fitting In

I love this quote from Henry Handel Richardson's The Getting of Wisdom:

She could not then know that, even for the squarest peg, the right hole may ultimately be found; seeming unfitness prove to be only another aspect of a peculiar and special fitness.
I'm definitely a square peg. But I'm not one of those square pegs oozing with self-confidence. I don't like being different. I mean I'm fine being around people who are different from me SOME of the time. That's okay. I need though to know that there are others like me who exist in the world. In this way, the Internet has brought me great comfort.

I think the people dominating the Internet are square pegs. We're the ones that go beyond adding our high school prom date as a Facebook friend. We actually make friends on the Internet. We find other weirdos like ourselves, and we bond with them. You didn't stop breastfeeding when your child turned one? Me too!

I was the black sheep in my family. I've always been the strange one. And out of all my family members, I was the one who had the hardest time making and keeping friends. Now this might not be ALL due to being a little weird. My social skills might have been somewhat below my parents and sisters. But hey, the internet helps there as well. Sometimes it's easier for us socially awkward people to type rather than talk.

Out of my family, I'm the only (as far as I know) who has made friends via the internet. The one exception is Tim. He met me....well, sort of. We had met briefly outside the Internet, before meeting again on the internet. And he's also met people by proxy. He's friends with people that I met through the internet.

I don't think my sisters have any friends that they've met through the internet. They have mainstream habits and interests, and they meet their friends in mainstream ways.

I shouldn't talk in such absolutes though. Most mainstream people probably have something that sets them apart from most other mainstream people. And there ARE fairly mainstream people who meet friends on the Internet. And I met ONE of my weird friends at a playground instead of the internet. But it's the internet that helps us keep in touch...well, since she's all the way in Australia.

A few weeks ago, I went to a party (kind of rare for me). When I'm at these things, I look around. All the other women seem so....well, not my type of people. But then I wonder. What can I really know about these people? Maybe if I looked beyond the surface.....

And what do I look like to these people?  Do people look at me, and think Ah, she's just like everyone else here.
The other thing is it's not wrong to be mainstream. Avoiding the mainstream is pretty much just as bad as avoiding the alternative. We should avoid that which we don't like....and not avoid that which is too normal or too weird.

What I think will happen...and is ALREADY happening is that eventually there will be no mainstream and alternative. There will just be different flavors of weird....or different flavors of normal.

There won't be square pegs struggling to get into round holes. There will be many different shaped holes, and most pegs will be able to find a fairly good fit. And hopefully all this will make people less rigid, and more open-minded. So maybe people won't even have to imprison themselves in a hole. Maybe they'll be able to move about freely, accepting others different from themselves, and having others accept them.

P.S-Speaking of Tim and I meeting....Today is our 11th anniversary! So Happy Anniversary to us!!!!!
And Happy Father's Day to any families who celebrate Father's Day in June. I know America does, but not sure about any other countries.