Back in August, I decided to quit social media....or at least cut back on it. I wrote a post about it.
Some amount of weeks after writing that post, I started slowly getting back onto social media.
I mostly got back into Instagram.
Well....I just realized that I can actually look at Instagram to see when my break began and ended.
My last story post on Instagram was on July 20, and I came back again on September 11. I guess I wrote my post about taking a break a few weeks after I had actually started the break.
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| My last post before the break was Grey's Anatomy; then I came back with a post about a song from Brave |
Really....
I enjoyed my break from Instagram.
I also enjoyed being back on Instagram.
But now I'm finding it too overwhelming again.
I think it's because there are too many advertisements. I don't know if they've increased the ad posts or if I'm just more sensitive to them lately.
Today I realized I needed to take another break from Instagram. I was thinking, though, that maybe instead of taking a break from all social media, I'd switch back to being into Twitter.
I went on Twitter a few time today, and it was so overwhelming to me.
One really annoying change I saw they made on Twitter is that they are now putting popular Tweets from lists we made into our home feed.
One of my list's is called Team Rona. This was just my way of keeping track of people who are anti-vax, anti-mask, pro-Trump, etc. But I have to be in a certain kind of strong-mood to stomach looking at those posts.
I don't want them on my main feed!
The good news is Twitter made it fairly easy to shut that off.
But still.
It was all too overwhelming.
So I've decided not to go back on Twitter either.
I wish I could feel content about these hiatuses. But I feel I'm missing out. I also sometimes feel guilty, because I don't plan these breaks ahead of time. And often it ends up I recently followed people I'm excited about. And/or I have new people following me.
This is happening to me with Twitter lately. I've gone on a few times here and there these past couple of weeks and searched for #actuallyautistic posts. I commented on one person's Tweet, and today I liked a Tweet. Both people followed me. So that makes me feel I should stay.
I guess it's pretty irrational. It's not like I sent out a message promising that I'm active.
It's also not like I plan to be gone from Twitter or Instagram forever.
Maybe what I really need to do is stop feeling I have to make a permanent choice about being on or off social media platforms.
At times, Instagram and/or Twitter gives me an opportunity to express myself and it makes me feel connected to people...especially like-minded people. There are times that Twitter and Instagram have made me feel validated, comforted, and less alone. Other times, I feel stressed out by posts, easily offended, invisible, ignored, overwhelmed, etc.
I think what I'm going to do is when I feel the negative effects of social media, prescribe myself a few weeks break. Then when the prescribed break is over, I'll decide if I feel like taking a hiatus from the hiatus.
The other thing I'm thinking is in terms of autism. I think I not only have a drive to get diagnosed but to also connect with the autistic community. And I think a lot of autistic-connecting happens on social media.
I go through periods of social-burn out. I have to face the fact that this feeling is not going to apply only to my interacting with non-autistic people. I'm not going to become a happy, social butterfly among the autistic community....at least not on a permanent basis.
There will be times I want to connect. During those times, I should pursue connections. But when I don't feel like being social and connected, I need to remind myself it's okay to take breaks. It's okay to be quiet.
Read my novel: The Dead are Online
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