Lately, Tim and I have been watching the last three seasons of The Big Bang Theory.
It used to be one of our shows but then we stopped watching it for some reason. I think maybe because it was not easy to get access to it without paying extra. And it's much easier to watch all the shows we already get via our subscriptions to Amazon, Hulu, Netflix, Disney Plus......
But then we got the new HBO Max service, and it turns out that it comes with The Big Bang Theory.
So we got back to it.
Which felt really nice, actually.
Last night we watched the last three episodes.
I wanted to do a list of what I liked and what I didn't like about those episodes.
I'll start with what I liked.
1. My favorite thing was probably the airport scene with Raj (Kunal Nayyar) and his best friend Howard (Simon Helberg).
Raj is a romantic who plans to surprise his girlfriend Anu (Rati Gupta) in London with a proposal inspired by the movie Notting Hill. The problem is, Anu is not a movie romance fan. She was totally lost when Raj did a romantic gesture inspired by Love Actually, and she'll be equally lost if he tries a gesture inspired by Notting Hill.
Howard rushes to the airport to stop Raj from getting on the plane. He makes a scene convincing Raj to not give up on searching and/or waiting for the woman who is a better match for him. In other words, it ends up that the big romantic gesture comes not from Raj to his girlfriend but TO Raj from his best friend.
I thought it was very sweet.
2. I really liked Stuart (Kevin Sussman) ending up with Denise (Lauren Lapkus).
Unlike Raj and Anu, Stuart and Denise are a perfect match.
Stuart is a comic book fan who owns a comic book store, and Denise is a comic book fan and expert who ends up working for Stuart.
I'm glad Stuart had a happy ending in general. And it was all down to Neil Gaiman visiting his comic book shop and Tweeting about it. Before that, Stuart lived a lonely life with a struggling business. His social circle didn't see him as part of their friend group. They treated him like a burden or a joke.
Pre-Neil Gaiman Stuart reminds me of those annoying anti-suicide posts on social media. They say things like, You are important. You are Special. You are One of a Kind. You are Loved. The World Would Miss You if You were Gone!
And I'm like...uh, no. That's actually not true for everyone. There are people in this world who are NOT loved by anyone. They're not appreciated. They have no one to turn to. They have no one who would notice if they went missing for a few weeks. They're very lonely. And I doubt seeing that kind of post on social media is going to trick them into believing otherwise. If anything, I imagine it might help to further rub in their loneliness and/or make them feel that the general public (or those who create these popular social media posts) really don't get their situation at all.
Anyway....I think Stuart was one of these people. But then Neil Gaiman came to his store. Gaiman wrote a Tweet in praise of the shop. The shop became popular and busy; and through all that, Stuart met Denise.
So....I think Stuart's story is much better in terms of an anti-suicide message. No, there's no guarantee things can get better for someone who has an awful existence. In fact, things might actually get much worse. BUT there's always a chance things could get better. So people might as well stick around to see if they're one of the lucky ones...if anything, it could be just for curiosity's sake.
The other thing I liked about Stuart's ending is that Stuart didn't really change. I always liked him, though. I guess for someone who didn't like Stuart, not-changing would have been a negative.
But yeah. He stayed the same. And it's more like destiny changed his life by bringing him the things he deserved.
I like the message: even though no one appreciates you, you're actually awesome. And one day life might bring you to the people who WILL appreciate you.
3. I liked the storyline about Sheldon (Jim Parsons) being traumatized by the changes that come with him winning the Nobel Prize. I had a LOT of empathy for him there.
I don't always have a problem with change.
But sometimes I do.
When I was very young, I quit ballet after the class changed buildings.
I don't know if I've done anything that drastic since. But watching Sheldon struggle....I felt kind of depressed and overwhelmed. And when Penny (Kaley Cuoco) helped him realize the whole thing about the one constant in life being the expectation that there will be change....I felt kind of calmed. Centered.
Thinking of it, though. I'm not sure why I felt so affected by this storyline. Because I feel for the most part, I've grown quite good at accepting change. Maybe it brought up old feelings?
I don't know.
I think, though, that the thing that has gotten me to accept change is parenthood. The adults in our life don't often change that much. But kids? There's a huge difference between our children at six months and our child at eighteen years...and everything in between. The toddler years. The preschool years. The tween years....
And it all goes by so damn fast.
Sometimes (and not too rarely), Jack will start going into some kind of political monologue. He'll share his brilliant, deep thoughts, and I think back to when he was a bouncing baby in an exercauser. It's amazing that the bouncing baby in the exercauser became the adult standing next to me talking about serious world issues.
4. I liked the scene with Howard and Bernadette (Melissa Rauch) on the flight to Sweden, realizing that they are getting farther and farther away from their children, and holy shit, what if something dreadful happens? It's going to take too long for them to get back to their kids.
I REALLY related to these feelings...probably too much.
I thought about how I've never been in a different country than Jack. And I've actually been in another state only once.
Yeah. I know. Crazy.
And I'd still be terrified to go out of the country without him.
No wait.
I forgot.
He and Tim went on another trip without me a couple of years ago.
And I'm relieved to say that I don't remember having any emotional problems with it.
Tim and I both want Jack to escape from us and travel a lot—interstate and internationally. And Tim and I have already started to push him to move to a different country....IF Trump becomes president again...IF it's by voter suppression rather than too many assholes liking him. Too many assholes liking Trump is scary but less scary than not being able to rely on the democratic process.
So...anyway, I'm fine with Jack leaving us to go explore the world. I'm sure I'll worry. I'm sure I'll miss him. But I'll also be happy and excited for him.
What I think I might always continue to have problems with is us leaving him to have our own adventures. Hopefully I'll get over that...at least interstate-wise. It would be nice if Tim and I could go on vacations together while Jack is busy living his life.
In the past, I did kind of have the idea that once Jack was fully settled (content and busy) in college, Tim and I could maybe go on a short trip somewhere not overly far away. Or maybe....even sort of far away. And now that's off the cards. But maybe, one day, things will go back to close-to-normal, and I can work on taking those steps.
Okay....now for things on the show I didn't like.
1. I hated that Amy (Mayim Bialik) suddenly cared about her appearance. And this comes after winning the Nobel Prize. Raj finds Amy crying in the bathroom. She has suddenly realized she looks frumpy.
Really. WTF?????
Were they trying to get away from the message that women have to choose between beauty and intelligence?
I think the idea that women can be smart AND pretty is a great one. But a more important message is that fashion and beauty does not need to be important to every woman. Or...more precisely, in Amy's case, that beauty can be defined in different ways.
It's not like Amy didn't care about her appearance. She just had a very unique sense of style. Then suddenly, as the show concludes, she decides she hates her style, and she wants a change.
I would have been more accepting of this development if it happened much earlier and was more gradual. Amy's conclusion shouldn't have been an ugly ducking storyline.
And I also hate that one of her last scenes of joy was about losing some weight.
Amy is a Nobel Prize winning scientist....but let's not forget she's a typical girl who wants to look prettier and thinner.
Yuck.
2. I didn't like how they ended the storyline between Leonard (Johnny Galecki) and his mom (Christine Baranski).
Leonard has always felt unloved and mistreated by his mom. She's a psychiatrist who has always seemed more interest in studying Leonard than actually loving him. Not only that, but she has often given him the message that he's not a priority to her.
She comes to town, and he's happily surprised that she seems to have changed. For the first time, she seems interested in him. She wants to spend time with him. She seems proud of him. Then he learns, she's only doing this, because she's writing a new book about parenting and is trying to get further insights.
Leonard is hurt and furious.
What does he end up doing?
He tells his mom he forgives her. This suddenly changes her into a mother who cares. She gets all sniffly, and they share a warm mother and son hug.
I think there's always been a push for mistreated people to forgive those who have hurt them. What seems to be maybe new...or at least it's new to me is that forgiveness is not for those who have hurt us. It's for our own well-being.
Yeah. I think that's all bullshit.
I'm on the team that thinks pushing people to forgive is adding more toxicity to what is already toxic.
To me, forgiveness should be saved for the people who understand they've done wrong; feel bad that they have done wrong; apologize; and plan to try to change their behavior.
For the people who continually hurt us and feel they have done no wrong? For those who gaslight us and try to manipulate us into believing WE are the problem? No. I don't think forgiveness is what we should be aiming for. I think what we should aim for is apathy.
Instead of giving his mom the undeserved gift of forgiveness, he should have aimed for no-longer-giving-a-shit. He should have worked on not caring what his mom thinks of him.
That doesn't mean he can't ever be nice to his mom. But the niceness should come from a place of apathy...or a simple generous good mood. It shouldn't come about, because his mom has manipulated him into believing she's changed—that she actually appreciates him or cares about him.
I'm fine with Leonard giving his mom a hug in the final episodes. But it shouldn't have been a hug of forgiveness. It should have been a hug that says: Goodbye. I know you're not capable of change. But I'm going to stop hoping and caring. Because I have other people in my life who are awesome, and I'm going to put my energy into them instead of you.
3. Penny's ending storyline was pregnancy. This would have been lovely. Except Penny had decided earlier that she probably didn't want to have children. This was somewhat problematic, because Leonard DID want to have kids. But he had seemingly grown to accept her decision.
The message in those episodes seemed to be that women don't have to have children to feel fulfilled and that women have the right to make that choice.
This message was erased with Penny accidentally becoming pregnant.
I might have found it less awful if the show was a drama, and we dealt with Penny's decision of whether to abort the baby or decide motherhood might work for her after all.
But the show's a comedy, and we never got to see Penny's struggle. The show jumped ahead two months, and all we see is Penny being completely okay with being pregnant.
4. I didn't like the very last episode in general. It all felt very rushed. The conflict was too overplayed, and the same goes for the resolution.
On the airplane to Sweden, Leonard and Penny end up telling Sheldon that Penny is pregnant. They tell him this, because he's germaphobic and is afraid they're all going to catch her mysterious vomit bug.
When Sheldon hears the news, he shows no happiness or excitement. He's just relieved she's not sick.
Leonard is furious. I don't blame him for being angry. But Sheldon has always been blunt and self-centered. Leonard almost always gets annoyed about that. But this time, he gets extremely annoyed.
I kind of agreed with Sheldon when he gave an excuse for why he wasn't congratulating them. I forgot his exact words but it was along the lines of why would I? Penny didn't want to be pregnant in the first place.
I feel also maybe the information hadn't yet sunk in with Sheldon? I think in other episodes, Leonard and Penny would have just rolled their eyes. Then later, they would have made some jokes about it...made little digs at Sheldon.
But instead, what would have usually been used for comedy is used for high drama.
Leonard is furious.
Howard and Bernadette say they might go home and miss the award ceremony, because they're worried about their kids. Sheldon doesn't understand why they'd do that. His not understanding their parenthood angst makes them angry, and they announce they're out of there. Leonard decides they too will abandon Sheldon.
Sheldon is angry and sad. Amy lets him know that she too has often been hurt by him.
Sheldon suddenly realizes he's an asshole who is lucky to have such good friends.
The show ends with him having a complete personality change. He gives up his chance to recite his very self-centered acceptance speech and instead gives a heartwarming tribute to each of his friends (who had a change of heart and decided to stay).
I will say that the speech was very touching. I was blinking back the tears. But at the same time, I also felt a desire to be rolling my tear-filled eyes.
What bothers me is that Sheldon HAD been growing a lot in the last three seasons. He was still self-centered, insulting, and overly honest. But he had been gaining some empathy skills. He was starting to change in small ways, which was both realistic and hopeful.
It's like in the last three years Sheldon had taken little baby steps here and there. He was slowly becoming a slightly better person. Then suddenly, in the last episode, he jumped back to square one. And after a few strong words from Amy, he leaped forward to being completely changed. He suddenly knows how to fully appreciate his friends and makes a perfect on-the-cuff speech to express those feelings.
To me, it felt contrived.
If it had been my choice, I would have ended the show with the second to last episode; the last scene being Penny and Sheldon riding the elevator together.
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