Exaggerated Concern

Once upon a time you weren't feeling well.

He was pleased by the results because it made you thin again.

He praised you for looking good.

Then he was told that you're having health issues.

He offered to help.

Because

He has power.

He can get things done.

He wrote a letter

Using his power.

He warned you about the letter.

He told you not to be alarmed by his exaggerated concern.

You weren't anymore alarmed than you had already been.

You were sad.

You were hurt.

You were angry.

You wished he had real concern.

Real concern instead of exaggerated concern.

Real concern versus thinness admiration.

And the letter lies.

There are invented symptoms

Because your symptoms weren't enough for him.

He thought the lies would help.

But they embarrassed you.

You told the doctor the truth about the lies.

You wonder now if he partly blamed you.

Did he know that you hated those lies?

You hope he did.

The health problem faded away on its own

After an invasive medical test.

You do your research

You learn the test was probably unnecessary.

You feel conned.

You feel violated.

You feel wronged.

Years pass.

New Symptoms appear.

It takes you 3 months to tell him.

Because the last time brought you only grief.

You bring it up in a light tone

Because you don't want to be thought of as

A drama queen

A hypochondriac

But you don't want him to be light.

You want him to be concerned.

Real concern

Not exaggerated concern

He shows no concern.

Not real.

Not exaggerated.

He doesn't mention it.

Not the next day when he sees you.

Not the next week.

Not the next month.

Not until a fight leads to a temporary estrangement.

Then he shows concern.

Not to you.

But to others.

The others tell you about this concern.

He cares! He cares! He's so worried! He's so worried!

You learn he wants to use his power again to help you.

You feel a lot of pressure.

But...

You're not eager for the help.

Because

It didn't turn out so helpful last time.

You're afraid that once again the concern is exaggerated.

You don't like how he brags about helping people.

And you remember

That time

When he told you everything you've gotten in life comes from him and his power.

His words let you know that he believes

It was never your hard work.

It was never your natural talent.

It was never your passion or desire.

It was all him.

He apologized for that.

But no sorry could erase what he said.

You hate to accept his help again.

You hate to give him the idea

That you can't help yourself.

You give a thanks but no thanks.

At least for now.

Maybe in the future if your way doesn't work out.

And your way works out quite horribly.

You accept his help.

He uses his power.

He writes another letter.

You start to have doubts.

His way will be expensive.

He would pay.

You know that.

But he has already given you too much money.

You have been reminded of this when you were sad and and angry.

The reminder made you more sad and angry.

You start to back away.

You decide to try again on your own.

You know your way might fail again.

But you know his way isn't a guaranteed success.

So better to take the path where less strings are attached.

He stops pressuring you to accept his help.

He expresses support for your path.

Then later you share a video

And he comments on the video.

His comments reveal

that it's very likely once again his concern has been exaggerated concern.

And despite all you eventually told him about your condition.

He didn't listen.

Or he didn't understand.

He trivialized what's big to you.

And you get angry.

You try to hide the anger.

You don't want drama.

You don't want to explain.

You know he won't understand.

You know he'll just end up reminding you

Of how much he has done for you.

How much he has given you.

How much he has sacrificed for you.

It's best to stay quiet.

But then he wants to go to lunch.

You don't want to go.

You're too angry.

And what's the point of having a conversation with him?

What's the point of answering his questions

If you know he's not listening or understanding?

Should you lie and make up an excuse?

Probably.

But you don't.

You hate lying.

You tell him the truth.

You tell him why you're angry.

This leads to a fight.

And of course you are right.

He reminds you that he has done so much for you.

Because he cares so much.

He's very concerned for you.

Is that real concern or is it exaggerated concern?

The concern isn't for your health, though.

It's for your estrangement from your family.

Funny.

You talk to them often.

There was an estrangement in the past.

It ended 9 months ago.

But still he's concerned.

Real concern?

Maybe.

But no.

It's probably exaggerated.

Instead of going to lunch on a lovely afternoon

Or lying.

You fight.

He reminds you that he is the one.

He is the one who is willing to find you help.

He is the one who is willing to pay for that help.

If you

You and not him.

If you

Think it's more than that minor problem in the video.

The video that addresses a condition you have been already diagnosed with.

A condition that you have not been concerned about.

A condition that you did not get an EEG for.

A condition that you did not get an MRI for.

He should know all this.

He should understand all this.

But he doesn't.

And he doesn't try.

He's too busy

Telling you all he's done for you

And all he's willing to do for you.

He lists things.

He brings up the letter you hadn't even wanted him to write.

The one he kept gently pressuring you to accept.

He tells you he dropped what he was doing to write that letter.

It hurts you

It angers you

That he sees helping you as a sacrifice.

It bemuses you that he would say this

After you had repeatedly rejected his help.

And with his fighting words

He confirms

That you had every reason to reject that help.

You had every reason to turn away from his concern

That was very likely exaggerated.