Thursday, April 7, 2016

Name Sexism, Dealing with Loss, Another Damn Public Proposal, and Redness

1. Dreamed about wanting to buy Australian magazines, but I don't remember much about it.

Yesterday morning I started reading a sample of Ita Buttrose's book. The dream was probably influenced by that. Although the part I read was more about her childhood than magazines.

Still, though, it makes sense that my brain would connect Buttrose to magazines.

2. Started watching an episode of Home and Away, but didn't get far because our Internet is acting up.

I got tired of it pausing and buffering, so I took a break and read some more of the Buttrose book.

I read about how, in the past, women would be addressed by their husband's names. It wasn't just about taking on the husband's last name but the first name as well. Although I'm pretty sure it was only with formal things, like an addressed envelope.

I've seen the practice in my lifetime, so I know it hasn't hasn't gone completely extinct.  I'm thinking people often use it to combine names on an envelope. So instead of writing, Mickey and Minnie Mouse, they'd write, Mr. and Mrs. Mickey Mouse.

3. Wouldn't mind these name things if they weren't sexist.

If it's always the male's name that's used, it's sexism. If sometimes the female's name is used, then it's fair.

Let's say Mickey and Minnie are invited to a Christmas party at Mickey's work place. Then I think it's fine for the envelope to say, Mr. and Mrs. Mickey Mouse.  But then if Mickey and Minnie are invited to a party at Minnie's office, people should be okay with the envelope saying, Mr and Mrs. Minnie Mouse.

I think it's the same with taking on a new last name. It's fine for wives to take their husband's last names, but then sometimes husband's should take their wive's last name.

I don't mean within the same couple.  That would cause too much bureaucratic stress! But maybe the couple can flip a coin, or they can talk about which last name sounds better with both their first names.  They might decide to give a no on both their last names and dig into their past for a ancestral maiden name they both like.

4. Went back to watching Home and Away.

5. Felt that Ricky (Bonnie Sveen) should be left alone to deal with Brax's (Stephen Peacocke) death in the way that she wants to.

Right now, Ricky is handling the loss of her partner by trying to hold herself together and move on with life. She doesn't want to cry. She doesn't want to talk it out. She doesn't want to have a memorial.

Phoebe (Isabella Giovinazzo) wants her to grieve like a normal person. She pushes Ricky to open up and get the feelings out.

Why not just support Ricky in what she wants to do?  If Ricky wants to not cry and move on with life, why doesn't Phoebe help her do that?  Ricky's the mother of an infant. I'm sure there's plenty that Phoebe could do to make life easier on Ricky.  Maybe help clean?  Maybe run to the store for her?  Maybe just be there to keep her company. They don't have to have a mournful chat about Brax. They could watch a comedy, chat about happier things, play a game, etc.

6. Thought about how Phoebe is worried that Ricky will eventually implode.

This might happen, but that might be her way of grieving.

Forcing Ricky to grieve in a more timely fashion isn't going to make the loss of Brax easier on her.

7. Thought that the whole idea of talking-things-out is overrated. I really don't know if it makes things easier on people.

Maybe it does for some.

But like Ricky says,  in the episode, it's not going to bring Brax back.  And THAT is the main problem.

8. Remembered a scene in which Ricky cried when she was alone. So it's not like she's in denial about her own sadness. She's just keeping it private.

Maybe that's different than someone who's in true denial.  It could be that this is where talking helps. Maybe people develop psychological problems when they're upset and they don't know they're upset. Or they don't know why they're upset. The buried feelings might cause havoc.

9. Thought that there's a difference between bottling things up from other people and bottling things up from yourself.

I think as long as we know why we're hurt, we don't necessarily need to tell someone else about it.

10. Saw another Summer Bay public marriage proposal with a bad outcome.

Do these people never learn? Just a few months ago, they had a bad one between Phoebe and Kyle (Nic Westaway). It led to Phoebe and Kyle breaking up.

Although I'm not a fan of public proposals, I thought this one wouldn't be so bad, because Leah (Ada Nicodemou) would say yes to Zac (Charlie Clausen).

But no...that didn't happen.

11. Thought that marriage proposals should be private and romantic not public spectacles that make good YouTube videos.

I think the exception is if it's known by both parties that they want to get married. They've both discussed it, and they're just waiting to make it more formal. Also, it would help if they share a dream of one day starring in a viral video.  If they're big YouTube fans and have YouTube aspirations, a public proposal might be appreciated.

12. Started to read an anti-public proposal editorial.

I'm loving it so far.

I especially love these lines, But these public proposals aren’t about romance, they’re about narcissism. Yes, the men who do this sort of thing are passionately in love — with themselves.

I think some people think they're in love with a fellow human being, but what they're really in love with is the idea of themselves as a romantic hero.

Well, they might also love their partner, but that love pales in comparison to the excessive adoration they have for themselves.

13. Thought that it's not just about public proposals.

Narcissistic people do nice things for others, but their main purpose is showing off.

They visit a sick person in the hospital and then send emails to their friends and family about it. They write little about the sick person and a lot about how appreciated their visit was.

They do a favor for a neighbor, and then have to boast about it.

They write a charming and clever email to a friend; then they forward that email to a bunch of people.

The friend writes them back thanking them. That email gets forwarded as well...because it's full of compliments.

Some people frequently put their wonderfulness on display, which makes them seem much less wonderful. Or at least, I think it does.

14. Wanted to say that I don't think Zac, on Home and Away is narcissistic. The public proposal wasn't his idea, and he was actually hesitant about the whole thing.

This probably happens sometimes. Not all public proposers are narcissistic. I imagine some of are pressured by friends. They're given the idea that if they DON'T propose publicly, they're unromantic, boring, and not enough in love.

15. Started watching an episode of Killing Time.

17. Saw Andrew Fraser (David Wenham) rubbing cocaine on his teeth.

I saw it on a previous episode as well.

I'm wondering why he does that.

18. Googled and ended up on

There's a variety of answers.

Some people are saying it's because cocaine numbs the gum. That may be the case, but why do cocaine users need their gums numbed?  That really wouldn't make sense unless they had painful gums.

Another person said it's about not wasting the cocaine. When there's not enough left to snort, you can use up the residue by putting it on your gums. There it will get absorbed into the blood stream.  That answer makes a lot more sense to me.

19. Started reading a sample of Liane Moriarty's Big Little Lies.  I've been reading a lot of samples lately without buying.  But I'll probably splurge on this one. I've read all of Moriarty's other books and loved them. I wouldn't want to leave this one out.

20. Impressed with Kate Jenkinson's acting on Killing Time.

I think it's the best acting I've seen from her.  It's not because she's put less effort and skill into her other work. I just think this is her meatiest role. At least of what I've seen.

21. Thought meatiest is a strange word.

There should be a vegetarian alternative.

22. Went to Jenkinson's filmography.  I'm curious about what's she's been in that I haven't seen yet.

There's the early comedy stuff. I haven't seen much of that.

She's in the second season of Satisfaction. I haven't watched that yet.

I'm going to skip over the one (or two) time appearances on TV shows.

That leaves me with Lowdown, The Time of our Lives, Super Fun Night, Hiding and The Ex-PM.

I don't think any of those shows are on Hulu or Netflix.

Hopefully someday they will be.

23. Reminded by IMDb that Hiding is about a family going into witness protection. In Killing Time, Jenkinson is playing Wendy Pierce, a woman who's been offered witness protection.

24. Impressed also with Reef Ireland's acting.

25. Thought about the faces in Killing Time.

I don't know why I'm noticing this, but a lot of the actors have red on their faces. And then at least two of them have chronically red eyes.

Is this a make-up thing?

Or maybe, by coincidence, the actors chosen for the movie have a skin condition.

It could also be that the the amount of skin redness is not unusually high in this series, but for some reason I'm noticing it more.

26. Thought it could also be lighting in some cases.

There's a scene with a police woman sitting in her car. Her cheeks are very pink.  I think it's from the light.

 27. Looked to see who did the make-up in Killing Time.

It's a woman named Tess Natoli.

She's done make-up and hair for a ton of things—Wentworth, Abe Forsythe's upcoming Down Under, Reef Doctors, The Elephant Princess, Mad Max: Fury Road, Rush, Scooter Secret Agent, and a lot of other things.

28. Thought that I'd probably fit in well in Killing Time. My face is often red.

29. Read more of Big Little Lies. I'm liking it a lot so far.

30. Had a fantasy about moving to Australia.

I don't do that as often as I used to.

I kind of thought I was pretty much over all that, but I guess a part of me is not.