Thursday, April 21, 2016

Rejection, Love, Sex, and Threats

1. Started to watch an episode of Home and Away, but it was the wrong one. It was the one I watched yesterday.

Now I'm watching the right one.  

2. Annoyed, because Hulu isn't working very well.

I thought it was because I had articles open in a browser window, ready and waiting for our homeschooling sessions. I thought one of them, with its too many ads, was slowing things down. But I closed the article window, and Hulu is still slow.

3. Decided to give up and try again later.  

4. Checked back.

Now it's working better! Thankfully.

5. Disgusted with Billie (Tessa de Josselin). Yeah. What else is new?

When her brother Ash (George Mason) scolds her for framing Nate (Kyle Pryor) for sexual assault, Billie plays victim. Why does she do these horrid things? She's sick of men rejecting her.

I think it's very awful when people equate romantic rejection with victimhood.  

It's like the man who gets rejected by a woman, and then says it's because girls don't like nice guys.  

 6. Thought it was okay to be sad about the rejection. It's okay to feel a sense of loss.

It's not okay to stalk your target, or frame them, attack them, spread rumors about them, etc.

7. Watched Kyle (Nick Westaway) dump Phoebe (Isabella Giovinazzo) because she has feelings for Ash.  

Now they're fighting.

I'm trying to figure out my feelings about all this.

Well, I know my feelings. It's more like I'm trying to get it straight in my head.

First of all, I'm pleased with Phoebe for not lying to Kyle. When he asks if she has feelings for Ash, she says yes.

Second, I think it's the right choice for Kyle to break up with Phoebe. If they were married or in a more permanent partnership, that would be one thing. If they had children, that would be a huge thing. But they're not heavily entangled.  They're not married. They don't have children. They don't share a pet. They don't share a bank account or a home. Breaking up is just a matter of Phoebe packing a few bags and moving back to the caravan park.  

Of course, I'm just talking about the practicalities.There's an emotional cost. But I think the cost of staying together would be worse.

8. Disagreed with Phoebe about trying to stop the break up.

It's very similar to the Hannah (Cassie Howarth) and Andy (Tai Hara) situation. 

Both Hannah and Phoebe insist they still love their boyfriends while also having strong feelings for someone else. Is this true?  Do/did they truly have feelings for two men at once?  Or at they clinging to the old, because they fear change, and they don't want to break someone's heart?

9. Thought it was wrong of Kyle to accuse Phoebe of betraying him.  

I think betrayal has to involve action not just feeling.

That being said, I totally disagree with Phoebe's stance. It's like she insists everything is fine, because nothing yet has happened between her and Ash. And she asks Kyle to trust her.  

10. Thought how with some people it's all about sexual activity. They can have feelings for someone else. They can spend a lot of time with that someone else. But as long as there's no sex or kissing, all is well.  

With other people, it's more about feelings than sex.

11. Wondered if most people can be divided into sex-jealousy people and feeling/time-jealousy people.  

Here's a scenario to maybe test out where we'd fall.

Your partner goes on a two week international trip without you. You had to stay behind for work or something like that.

What would make you more upset?

A) Your partner sends you a ton of photos. In almost every photo, there is a certain other person with your partner. Your partner has found a new friend, and it's of a gender they're usually attracted to.  You learn that your partner is eating almost all their meals with this new friend. They're going on tours together. They're going shopping together. They have all these new private jokes together, and they even have a song together. From what your partner tells you, there's been nothing physical between them. You believe him/her, but there does seem to be some major crushing going on.  

B) Your partner calls you up crying. He/she had a bit too much to drink at a party and ended up having sex with someone. Your partner has no feelings for this person, doesn't want to see them again, and wouldn't even know how to contact them.  

I personally would be much more upset about A, but I'm pretty sure there are people who would be much more bothered by B.  

12. Wondered WHY some people are more concerned with loyalty when it comes to love and affection, and for others it's more about sex.

I think, for some people, sex IS the ultimate symbol of love. But what about the other stuff? Does that count at all?  

13. Realized that many people would probably be jealous of both A and B.

It's probably only rare individuals who are very okay with A or B.

14. Imagined relationships are easier between two people who have the same feelings about A and B.

It's hard if one person, in the relationship, thinks it's fine to have a very close companion of the attracted-to gender, and the other does not. And it would be hard if one person thinks it's okay to sleep around a bit, and the other is dead set against that.  

I think that's the case with Phoebe and Kyle. Phoebe was very angry that Kyle had sex with Billie, even though he and Phoebe were broken up. To Phoebe that was a major betrayal. It didn't seem to matter that Kyle lacked affection for Billie.

When Kyle dumped Phoebe for having feelings for Ash, she acted as if he was being unfair. To her, she had committed no crime. There was no sex, and they stopped themselves before even kissing.

After the breakup, Phoebe immediately has sex with Ash. She then says to him, If you're going to get hung for the crime, you may as well commit it.  

15. Started watching another episode of Home and Away

16. Felt bad for Maddie (Kassandra Clementi).

She was threatened by her biology teacher (Erika Heynatz) 


Because Charlotte (AKA Ms. King) knows that Maddie knows that she's having an affair with Matt, her student. 

Charlotte says if anyone finds out, she'll know it came from Maddie, and she implies very bad things will happen to Maddie.

I don't think it's a death threat...more of a bad grade kind of threat.

In the movie I watched yesterday (Wish You Were Here), Dave (Joel Edgerton) was threatened, as well, about keeping something a secret.  

17. Wondered what I'd do in that situation.

I'd like to think I'd ignore the threat and go to the authorities. But I don't know.

I think to be brave enough to do that, you have to have trust in the system. You have to trust that someone will be willing and able to protect you and your loved one. You also have to believe that you're going to be believed.

Maddie is not believed. She tells Matt, and he calls her a drama queen.  

I do think, though, that if Maddie told other people, they would believe her, and I also think she would be well protected.

18.  Saw that Matt did at least bring up the subject with Charlotte—told her what Maddie says.

It turns out Charlotte is a lot like Billie. She denies threatening Maddie and says it was actually the other way around.

19. Thought that although it's illegal and unethical, I could forgive teachers for having an affair with their student—especially when the student is over eighteen. Sometimes people can't help who they fall in love with, and if both parties are into it, I can be sympathetic.

That's not to say I think it's okay or that I think it should be legal.

I would just be understanding about it.

I would NOT be able to forgive a teacher who actually threatens a student.   

Actually, anyone making threats to anyone about keeping a secret is really bad.  

20.  Thought I might be overstating things.

There are exceptions. For example, what if a parent threatens a child with no dessert if he blabs about his sister's upcoming surprise party.  

It might not be the best parenting choice, and it might be slightly mean. But I don't think it's super evil.

21. Thought that Evie (Philippa Northeast) is being a brat.

She's mad at Hannah for not coming to see her. Yet when Hannah kept calling/texting to apologize about slapping her, Evie never answered.

It's like Evie just wants to be mad, and nothing Hannah can do will change that.

22. Decided that I wouldn't be forgiving of Charlotte's affair with Matt.

It's not like they slowly fell in love despite their best intentions.

They met at a bar or restaurant; then had a one night stand.

If you're a teacher in a small town, is it wise to be having sex with someone that looks like they might potentially be a high school student?

Okay, so let's sat Charlotte misjudged Matt's age. Fine. But they weren't deeply into things yet. She could have ended the affair as soon as she learned that Matt was her student.

23. Argued with myself.

What if Charlotte is the type of person to quickly fall in love with someone?

But no.

She dumped Matt in this episode and already has her eyes on Andy.  

I think Charlotte is just a player. I'm pretty sure her feelings for Matt were very superficial.