Let's say there's a first grade classroom.
Elizabeth is passing out treats she made with her mother—peanut butter cookies.
She comes to her classmate Lily.
Instead of reaching out and taking the cookie, Lily takes steps backward. I can't. I'm allergic.
Come on! It's fine, Elizabeth says. They're really yummy. My mom and I worked really hard to make them.
I'll die if I eat them.
You won't die! Elizabeth laughs. Trust me. I've eaten them all my life. And I'm fine. They're not poison! The only way you'll die is if you like try to swallow them whole and end up choking. Just don't do that.
Lily shakes her head and takes more steps backward.
Elizabeth rolls her eyes; then walks away. She mumbles under her breath. Your loss.
Elizabeth's ignorance leads to her lack of empathy.
And it's not just any kind of ignorance. It's willing ignorance. If she was open-minded enough, she could have stopped and listened to what Lily was saying. She could have asked what Lily meant by the whole allergic-to-peanut-butter-cookies thing.
But what Elizabeth has is the mindset, that if it works okay for me, it should work okay for you.
It's an empathy where people can walk in other people's shoes...as long as they're wearing the same shoes.
In conversations about police brutality and murder of Black people, some Trump supporters will push the message that Black people will not be harmed as long as they act obedient with the police.
They say this, because it is very likely that this is what they have been taught. This is what they've seen on TV and movies. And this is what they have experienced.
Those of us with light skin have learned that if we are polite with the police, the worst that will happen to us is we'll get a ticket. We might even get off with just a lecture.
Well, I'm talking about with things like speeding or running through a stop sign. Hopefully, politeness wouldn't easily get us out of a murder, rape or robbery charge. Though if we're white, have that superficial charm skill going for us, and can afford a really good lawyer....hey, who knows what we can get away with.
When it comes to Black people, politeness and obedience doesn't guarantee they'll come out of the situation alive.
And then there's the question of whether it's possible to be perfectly polite and obedient when you're terrified.
When I was driving, I was very scared and nervous about the police. And it was simply just for the threat of being scolded. It was about shame and embarrassment.
I didn't worry about the police killing me or severely injuring me. I didn't even worry about them giving me a little pinch.
I can't remember exactly how I behaved when the police did stop me. But I imagine I wasn't perfectly, wonderfully poised. My voice probably shook. I probably looked shifty...guilty. I probably acted like someone who had pounds of cocaine hidden in my trunk. Or a dead body.
Now...what if all my life I had seen stories on the news about police shooting unarmed Jewish women? What if my parents warned me to be careful of the police, because they killed Jewish women and were often not fired and very rarely prosecuted?
What if they gave me instructions on how to behave, so the police are less likely to kill me, but from what I've seen and heard, it seems even if I try to follow those instructions, I might still be murdered.
Then I would probably be very flustered.
I'd probably fail to clearly hear the instructions of the police. I would probably be making mistakes, because being terrified makes it hard to listen and follow directions.
In a split second, I might decide that justice doesn't work in favor of people like me...and I might go into flight or fight mode.
Is it understandable for a police officer to become nervous when a Black person goes into flight or fight mode?
Certainly. And maybe they go into fight or flight mode as well.
BUT I would hope that they'd be strong enough and trained well enough, and.....
Psychologically fit enough....
Well, I would think they could use some cool Ninja moves to restrain and calm the person in custody rather than shoot someone seven times or kneel on someone's neck for 8 minutes and 46 seconds.
I'm being generous, though, with the fight or flight mode thing. I think in most cases it's more likely racism plus looking for excuses to kill a Black person plus knowing that it's quite likely they'll get away with it. They can bully. They can murder. They can terrorize. They can brutalize. And the police union, President Trump, and Trump supporters will have THEIR back.
Although...HOPEFULLY that will be less the case for now on. Well, it's still the case that Trump, his supporters, and the police union will be sympathetic towards the police who brutalize and murder. But hopefully, the opposition to all of that and all of them is getting stronger and stronger.
When Lily refused the peanut butter cookies, no one in the classroom spoke up for her. And where was the teacher? Why didn't she intervene? And why the hell were peanut butter cookies allowed in a classroom with a deathly allergic child in the first place?
Elizabeth might never change. She might always be small-minded. She might always lack empathy.
Or maybe with pressure and guidance, she might change. She might learn about peanut allergies. She might even become an advocate for those suffering from allergies. Maybe she'll be inspired by her childhood experience to become an allergist.
Who knows.
But let's say, she doesn't change. She remains a pushy little brat. Well, what I'd hope is that, if this is the case, she'd be the one marginalized by the teacher, her classmates, and the anti-peanut rules...instead of Lily being the marginalized one.
In the same way, I hope Trump supporters, with their lack of empathy and willing ignorance regarding the unfairness and danger of our justice system, become more and more marginalized by society. I hope they become a pathetic quiet whisper drowned out by the roar of progressive change.
Anyway....
I just wanted to add some links to videos that have helped me better understand things regarding the police, police brutality, feelings towards the police, etc.
1. Copaganda-How Cop Shows Lie to You...from the Daily Show
2. Why did the Police Shoot Jacob Blake from the Daily Show.
3. The Hero Cop Trope-A Controversial History from The Take
4. Police: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver. (And let me just add that I was cruelly prejudiced against John Oliver until seeing this video. But now my anti-John Oliver feelings have melted away).
Read my novel: The Dead are Online
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