I don't have a problem saying no.
I can be pretty blunt with my no's.
But I do have a problem with being okay after I've said no.
I end up feeling conflicted and maybe guilty.
I end up imagining that I've made people mad.
It stresses me out.
Recently I blabbed on and on to Tim about why I think there's a secondary reason that opening up schools will cause an increase in cases. It will give people a sense that we're getting back to normal. And it may be subconscious, but people will have an increase in feelings of obligation to get out and be social.
Sure enough.....
This morning I got a text from my dad.
They're having a good-bye dinner for my niece who is going off to college soon. We are welcome to join.
Promises of mask wearing and social distancing.
I quickly gave a no and explained that you can't wear masks while eating. Also, I have strong sneezes and I spit when I cough.
Let me just mention here that during our last mass-family dinner in late February, I hesitated going because I had a cold. I wrote a disclaimer text to the family asking if they preferred I stay home or go. They welcomed me to come. I ended up coughing right in my sister's face. It wasn't on purpose. But these things happen.
I wrote to my niece's family and asked if they could stop by our house, so we could say good-bye. By this, I mean we all wear masks. They stay in their car, and we talk to them from our porch.
The rational part of my brain feels this is all good.
The irrational part of my brain stresses about them being mad and/or offended.
One of the first things I pictured them saying behind our backs is along the lines of, They're being ridiculous. Jack is going to college in a few weeks. What do they think is going to happen there? Why are they okay with that, but they won't have dinner with us. RUDE.
Well...in response to this imaginary conversation, I'd say. A) We're really not so okay with him going to college during a pandemic. B) As for what we expect to happen on campus...we expect there to be a major outbreak.
I know I'm strange.
I know I have issues.
But I'm pretty sure I'm not going to be the only one with this mindset.
People with hermit-tendencies like me will probably continue to keep up the social distancing and just feel stressed about it.
But how about the social butterflies who have been going out a bit but have dutifully put some brakes on their habits? I picture them letting go of the brakes and going back to their pre-pandemic lifestyles. Their kids are in school mixing with other kids...bringing those germs home. So why shouldn't they go out to lunch with their friends? A teacher has been at work all day with kids pulling down their masks and sneezing on her. So...what's the point of saying no to her friend's birthday party?
So...well, yeah. I think things are going to go from worse to even more worse. Super Worse.
I was going to end this post here but remembered some more evidence/examples.
For the past few months, Tim has done all our shopping. He drives. Jack and I don't. So that's why it's been him. But we've gone with the mindset that one person per family household in a shop helps with social distancing.
A week or so, we all went to the grocery store together. Things haven't gotten better in Texas. In fact, they've gotten worse. But we had that mindset of, Jack's going to school soon. So we might as well all go shopping together.
And we did the same thing earlier this week with Bed Bath and Beyond. We're actually buying most stuff online, and Tim has been picking up a few things at Costco. So we could have done the same with the stuff we bought at Bed, Bath, and Beyond. We didn't have to all go out. But, because Jack is going to school in a few weeks, we had that mentality that it's okay and expected for us to go out.
If I'm having these feelings now during the pre-back-to-school weeks, what will it be like for me once school has actually already started? And how many people will be having the same type of feelings as me?
I can be pretty blunt with my no's.
But I do have a problem with being okay after I've said no.
I end up feeling conflicted and maybe guilty.
I end up imagining that I've made people mad.
It stresses me out.
Recently I blabbed on and on to Tim about why I think there's a secondary reason that opening up schools will cause an increase in cases. It will give people a sense that we're getting back to normal. And it may be subconscious, but people will have an increase in feelings of obligation to get out and be social.
Sure enough.....
This morning I got a text from my dad.
They're having a good-bye dinner for my niece who is going off to college soon. We are welcome to join.
Promises of mask wearing and social distancing.
I quickly gave a no and explained that you can't wear masks while eating. Also, I have strong sneezes and I spit when I cough.
Let me just mention here that during our last mass-family dinner in late February, I hesitated going because I had a cold. I wrote a disclaimer text to the family asking if they preferred I stay home or go. They welcomed me to come. I ended up coughing right in my sister's face. It wasn't on purpose. But these things happen.
I wrote to my niece's family and asked if they could stop by our house, so we could say good-bye. By this, I mean we all wear masks. They stay in their car, and we talk to them from our porch.
The rational part of my brain feels this is all good.
The irrational part of my brain stresses about them being mad and/or offended.
One of the first things I pictured them saying behind our backs is along the lines of, They're being ridiculous. Jack is going to college in a few weeks. What do they think is going to happen there? Why are they okay with that, but they won't have dinner with us. RUDE.
Well...in response to this imaginary conversation, I'd say. A) We're really not so okay with him going to college during a pandemic. B) As for what we expect to happen on campus...we expect there to be a major outbreak.
I know I'm strange.
I know I have issues.
But I'm pretty sure I'm not going to be the only one with this mindset.
People with hermit-tendencies like me will probably continue to keep up the social distancing and just feel stressed about it.
But how about the social butterflies who have been going out a bit but have dutifully put some brakes on their habits? I picture them letting go of the brakes and going back to their pre-pandemic lifestyles. Their kids are in school mixing with other kids...bringing those germs home. So why shouldn't they go out to lunch with their friends? A teacher has been at work all day with kids pulling down their masks and sneezing on her. So...what's the point of saying no to her friend's birthday party?
So...well, yeah. I think things are going to go from worse to even more worse. Super Worse.
I was going to end this post here but remembered some more evidence/examples.
For the past few months, Tim has done all our shopping. He drives. Jack and I don't. So that's why it's been him. But we've gone with the mindset that one person per family household in a shop helps with social distancing.
A week or so, we all went to the grocery store together. Things haven't gotten better in Texas. In fact, they've gotten worse. But we had that mindset of, Jack's going to school soon. So we might as well all go shopping together.
And we did the same thing earlier this week with Bed Bath and Beyond. We're actually buying most stuff online, and Tim has been picking up a few things at Costco. So we could have done the same with the stuff we bought at Bed, Bath, and Beyond. We didn't have to all go out. But, because Jack is going to school in a few weeks, we had that mentality that it's okay and expected for us to go out.
If I'm having these feelings now during the pre-back-to-school weeks, what will it be like for me once school has actually already started? And how many people will be having the same type of feelings as me?
Read my novel: The Dead are Online
No comments:
Post a Comment