Monday, August 18, 2014

Deep Thoughts About Summer Bay

Last night I started writing a post in my head. Maybe in the middle of the night. I had some insomnia.

I was going to say I'm actually not that sad about being banished from Summer Bay.I've replaced Home and Away with other TV shows. There's no empty place in my heart.

Also, I loved 1988-1990 Summer Bay. I've had glimpses of Summer Bay beyond that time and I don't like what I see. Well, besides Julian McMahon and Ryan Kwanten. I like those guys and looked forward to them being in Summer Bay.

So I started thinking maybe the shutdown of the YouTube account where I watched the show was a least for me. It was a way for me to freeze time. I left Summer Bay with Pippa looking like my Pippa, and most of my beloved characters were still alive and well.

The thing is, though. I started thinking that maybe I should apply this mindset to other things. I love The Secret Life of Us. When I'm done with this season, maybe I should just stop there and never return. I've heard they lose a lot of the actors. What if I don't like the new ones and their storylines?

I could quit.

But then I thought, what if I would end up missing out on storylines that I WOULD end up liking?

Then I thought about life outside fictional Australia. I thought about Jack. When he was very young, I'd become attached to him at a particular age. I'd want to freeze time. I wanted him to stay a baby. Then I wanted him to stay a toddler. Then I wanted him to stay a preschooler. Eventually I realized something. As much as I loved him in the past, I always ended up loving the older Jack more. So I stopped wanting to freeze time.

The other day I picked up an old photograph filled with photographs of baby Jack. I thought I would feel major nostalgia and major tugging at my heart, because I was so madly in love with Jack as a baby. But the only thing I ended up feeling was relief that baby Jack was now twelve-year-old Jack.

I loved Jack when he a small child, but I love him a million times more now that he's older.

It makes me think that maybe I would end up being okay with the changes that happen on Home and Away. Five years from now, I could have watched it and liked it equally or more than I like the episodes from 1988-1990.

So I guess I've changed my viewpoint from the imaginary post I wrote during my insomnia. I don't think I should see my loss of Home and Away as a blessing—a way to freeze time. Change is part of life. It brings loss, but it also brings great things.

Still. I can't watch Home and Away anymore. At least not now. So although I don't see it as a blessing, I might as well be okay with it. If an opportunity arrises in the future to watch it, I shall probably take it.