Wednesday, December 8, 2010

An Imaginary Fight With My Family

I woke up this morning ready for more Julian Assange news. The headlines right now are that Kevin Rudd doesn't blame Assange for the mean stuff said about him.  He blames Americans.

Uh...I'm an American. So I guess I should apologize. Sorry, Kevin Rudd.  I'm sorry we leaked important documents.   

I'm trying to understand Kevin Rudd's feelings.  So I've decided I'll make up my own little micro-scenario. 

Let's say my younger sister Melissa says something bitchy about me in an email to Dawn.   Then Dawn forwards the email to my parents.  Later my dad forwards the email to our circle of family and friends.  He feels we should have open communication.  

Who would I be most angry with?

Wow. I really don't know.

In a way, I think I'd be the least angry with Melissa.   I think it's normal for family members to say bitchy things behind each other's back.  We get mad at each other.  We vent to each other.  I'd probably be very HURT by whatever Melissa said, but I think I'd also be somewhat understanding.   

I'd be more mad at Dawn.  She took something that should have been private, and made it less private.  It's one thing to be talked about by a small number of people.  It's worse when the conversation expands to others.  I'd also worry about trusting Dawn.  If she's willing to reveal Melissa's secrets, might she one day reveal mine as well?

I'd be mad at my dad for blowing it even more out of proportion. On the other hand, I'd be glad that things are no longer behind my back.  I wouldn't want the WHOLE family talking about me, and me being in the dark about it.

Okay, so now that I've looked at it this way.....

Yeah, I think I'd feel about the same way as Kevin Rudd.

Melissa would represent the people who said the bad things in the first place.

Dawn would represent the Americans who leaked the information.

My dad would represent Julian Assange.  

As the original insults, I think my anger there would depend on whether I agree with it or not.   Maybe Kevin Rudd is the same.   He probably already knows he's a control freak.  His family has probably told him.  His colleagues have likely told him. The media has said stuff.  And he can probably figure it out for himself.  I think you can FEEL yourself being a control freak....unless you're one of those people who do a very minimal amount of self reflection.     

I'm usually okay if people criticize me and I agree with it.  If Melissa said something to Dawn about me being overly sensitive, worrying too much,  lacking fashion sense, being neurotic, being judgmental; I wouldn't take that much offense.   It's all pretty much true.

I would be more offended if I disagreed with the insults.  That bothers me. First, I get angry at being insulted.  Then second, I get angry at the person for not knowing me well enough.